Funny thing said to me at work

I have been having a dry spell lately..A dry spell from funnies at work..Until tonigt.Tonight Christina hit the mother load...

Let me set the scene for you..Shall I..

I am doing what we in the business call " sensory stimulation."

It is just before their bedtime and I am doing hand massages..Something to not get them to stimulated and alert before bed..Calming if you will.

This one particular man is very demented..Talk gibberish a lot and even likes to curse for no reason...Hence..For those of you who do not like to hear curse words..You may want to move on..LOL

ME : " how ya doing?..Do you want a hand rub?"
OLD GUY: " yes, that would be nice, then you can help me get downstairs and see Jim."
ME: " yeah.....Ok...Whatever" and I rub his hand with some lotion.
OG: " that feels good , where is Jim?"
ME: " I don't know where Jim is, sorry"
OG:" what, don't you touch me you son of a bitch"..(must be popular thing to say because I have been called that more than once there..
ME: " let me see your other hand, and I will do that one and then you can go to bed."
OG: " I don't want that shit on me, you come any closer and I am gonna throw your shit ass out the door G...Damn you"
ME: " well, are we cranky tonight?"
OG:" get your fuc*ing a%$ away from me before I throw you sh*t a%$ out the front door, I mean it, I don't care who you work for..You can tell Jim I said that too..G..Damn him anyway,that son of a bitch is useless..DID YOU HEAR ME..GET THE SHIT AWAY BEFORE I THROW YOUR SHIT A5$ OUT MY FRONT FUC*ING DOOR"
ME: " Ok, I will leave you alone..Looks like you need some alone time"

and I start to walk away..And then he yells back at me.." Someone stop that bitch, she wont tell me where is..That son of a bitch owes me money."

Ok I am trying my hardest not to laugh..It would only make him mad..And at this point I can see he is upset...And I don't want him having a heart attack or something..

Then the nurse says to me.."Who is Jim?"
I say.." You got me!!"

On a side note here....It is really very sad seeing what can happen to you when you get old...I know what they say and do can be very funny..But really..It is sad..I have them asking where there family is..One that is always trying to leave because she thinks her family doesn't know where she is...Can you imagine starting to lose a little bit of your memory, not remembering you kids , spouses and grandchildren?..How awful would that be..Then to be dumped in a strange place and worrying about your family..Wondering where they are..And if they are ok..

Such a shame our bodies can do that too us....The thought that someday or minds and the person we always were can be wiped out ..Just like that..You are nothing but a shell of your former self...Just a body..Your face and mind and body are not the same. You look in the mirror and do not recognize your own face. You have no memory of the person who is talking to you..They say its your granddaughter..But you don't know her..You just smile and be polite..But scared inside because you have no idea who it is...Or who they are talking about..

You need help dressing, bathing, eating, going to the bathroom..
It is true what they say.." once a man, twice a child"...

Anyway...That was my funny run in tonight..Keep it real..Toodels

Oh I will be playing Stuff portriate Friday..I will post it this afternoon sometime....;)