Saturday, April 29, 2006

Don't worry, Be happy

Well I have a visitor. Yesterday Norm showed up at my place. He was tired and hungry. Norm had a bit of a "mishap" of sorts. He took a tumble off my counter and was decapitated. So being the medical expert I am, I performed what we call a "headplasty". And he is all better now....Figures, this poor lil gnome has been around the country and I am the one who breaks him..But look, he is as good as new!!

So you see....He is all better now....No worries here folks, nothing to see. Just walk away, go bout your bidness..mmkay?

Is there some kind of protocol that prohibits old ladies from going out their home in just their hair rollers and there jammie bottoms?...No?..Well there should be.

Today is prom night here. While I was at work looking busy at my jewelry counter, a bunch of overweight girls,who obviously had no dates, came wandering around the store. It has been raining for 2 straight days, so the bottom of their dresses were muddy and wet. They cruised around the store about 4 times. I thought maybe they were looking for dates....Maybe trying to find a last minute loser.

When I was in school, we did not wander around the stores in our prom gear 6 hours before the prom...That was just not customary back in the day. In my day you got your date, got your limo, got a motel room, got someone to get you some liquor, you go for the meal, and you head to the motel room.

Boy how things change.

Bee Real

Friday, April 28, 2006

The Final Countdown

I discovered yesterday that my Blondie Bee only has 11 days of school left..(she goes every other day) and my Butch Bee has 21 days left. The school year has just flew by.

Butch Bee brought home a tree for us to plant. We are going to plant it today after he gets home from school. Its a type of pine tree. I hate pine trees.

On my walk around the lake last night I saw the most disturbing thing. I saw a morbidly obese woman. That wasn't the disturbing thing. She was out walking..(good for her I say)..She had a bottle of water in one hand and smoking a cig with the other. Plus she had a tiny child behind her on a tiny bike. On a busy street. It just all didn't add to me.

But it got me thinking. There are so many types of bottled water. You have your distilled, your spring, your purified, your reverse osmosis. What the bloody heck is the difference between them. Isn't water ..Um..Water?

Speaking of water, I decided I should get a hold of my good friend at the city building of the town our other house is in that other state. I was worried these people renting our home wasn't paying the city bill. Well my suspicions were right. They owe $206 by may 8th or the water is being shut off. My friend is the city clerk. She knows all this stuff. She is going to let me know if it isn't paid the day before so we can make sure it is paid. It really ticks Bossy off. These people are already not paying the full amount we agreed on. Now they aren't paying the bills they are suppose to. I hate people.

I am getting a zit on my cheek. Just in time for my birthday. I am glad its a small one.

Mr Shaky Pants is still in a fowl mood. He may be going to a home sooner than he thinks. A home for battered husbands that is. Cause I am bout to beat the crap out of him.

he is cranky. I am suppose to be the only cranky one.

This is my birthday weekend. I work all weekend. Happy Birthday to me..Although I don't physically work on my birthday, my whole birthday weekend is shot to all heck.

I told Mr Shaky Pants to get me a cake. A big cake.
I. Will. Eat. The . Whole. Thing.
ALONE. He is too cranky for me to share with.

I just want my life to get back to normal. Can someone make that happen? Anyone? Anyone? Yup I didn't think so.

Instead of running myself over with my mini van. I may take a long walk off a short dock.

Am I suicidal?..hmm, not sure....I have never been before, but there is a first time for everything. It just seems things are going haywire.If I were to die, lets say by accident,there might be enough money to pay off the house in the homeland and maybe throw my ashes in a nice botanical garden somewhere. Or just use them for kitty litter. Makes no never mind to me. Its all just a thought.

Have a good weekend. I need to go meditate or get snockered..Not sure which.

Bee Real

Thursday, April 27, 2006

I want a new drug

I had a very bad day yesterday. Ole Bossy succumbed to the flu. Now if you speak to Blondie Bee she will inform you it is because I did not wash my hands properly before I ate dinner the other night. I tell you, that trip to the hospital and the viewing of the round worm has done a number to that girls pschye. God Bless her though.

Ok, Now I have wrote over the last few days about me hoping that my Butch Bee is "slow" instead of having some horrific diease. Well, yesterday when he came home from school he was talking about the planets. He likes space and has lots of books on space and the planets. He told me who each planet was named for..(all roman gods) and why there named what they were. It kind of blew my mind..

But then he also said that his mom is sick and she just needs to rest all day, so he would watch the other two bees while I laid on the couch. Now that is love people.

I was watching The Learning Channel (TLC) out of pure boredom. The names of some of the shows just astounds me. Here are some show titles to shows I have watched, or seen the previews for..I am not making any of these up..I swear to God..

80 year old children
The man whose arms blew up
The woman without a face
The woman with half a body
I am my own twin
The 700 pound man
The 160 pound tumor
101 things left in people in the OR
glass children

I guess my life isn't so bad..I have a face, my arms have not blown up, all my body is full and functioning, and I don't have a 160 pound tumor..(although it would be a good way to lose 160 ponds), and as far as I know I am not my own twin...Yup..Life is good..good indeed.

Mr Shaky Pants is on the rampage tonight...He must be ragging...I better go see if I have any spare rods for him..geesh..

I need to go lay down, I am very ill..And by very ill I mean body aches, headaches, stomach pain, skin hurting, hair hurting, and the pure sense of wanting to die.

Death, come to me..I am ready...
and no I am not preganat you damn fools
Bee Real

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


You really learn a lot on a 3 block walk with 60 kindergarteners. We went to the hospital today for a field trip. One little girl asked me about 28 times where my dad was. Also she told me about 58 times that she bumped her head. Then she sucked her thumb. This tiny girl must have some "problems" and Blondie Bee isn't even the one I worry about being retarded. This little girl can not be up to normal Knd standards. She very much reminded me of the way my 2 year old Boo Bee acts. Kept repeating things, and was oh so very inquisitive. And sucking her thumb....

Then Blondie Bees little "boyfriend" kept telling us how he can jump a fence, if he only had a ramp..

Then they show us a tube with the most disgusting worm in it..A round worm, and they tell the kids this is what can happen if you don't wash your hands before you eat..You can get a worm like that in your belly..

Poor Blondie Bee and me were totally freaked out. When I was making dinner last night I had some of my raw meat touch an open wound on my finger, I went in to the bathroom to wash my hands ..( I wasn't going to take any chances) and there I find Blondie Bee feverishly washing her hands..Over and over..I said : what are you doing"..She said very nervously " mom, did you see that worm today? That's all I am saying"

So her and I washed our hands till the bled. She wanted to wear rubber gloves while we ate..I told her I would look into buying some....For the health of the fam.

My Boo Bee was terribly mad yesterday. Poor little dear wanted to go swimming. I tried telling her it was too cold for a swim. She found a swim suit and proceeded to try and put it on..

shall I show you exhibits A and B?


kept telling her we were not going swimming. She said she needed to go to the ocean

( that is what she kept calling the lake) and she wanted to swim with the whale she saw..

I may have two retarded bees, not for certain though


And now my Boo Bee is smashing her banana into my sofa, as she is climbing up the dang side....

This is what I deal with on daily basis.

smashed bananas and retards...

ok, I promise this is the last time I will say the the word retard. But I am just feeling a bit politically incorrect. I have a right to be like that don't I?...

Anyway, that was my PSA for today, don't use the word retard....It is not a good thing..Unless you are referring to your own kid, or even maybe a pet, or spouse..Those are cases where it is ok...Especially for the spouse, that is for sure OK

Bee Real




it seems the round worm got me anyway, my fruitile attempts at handwashing were for not. I have vomited my life away this morning, and i have the most God awful headache..

and no I am not pregant you damn fools.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

lovin every minute of it

Well I finally have a freakin day off of work from my "part time" job I got to have a freakin social life. Big mistake. Having a social life is highly over rated people.

I realized it has been a few months since I have updated on my mid -life crisis. I know some of you may be wondering how that is going. To tell you the truth, it doesn't bother me anymore knowing I am in mid life. My birthday is next week..I will be 31..So I will die when I am a tad over 60..I am cool with that. I just need to get my boob job and my sports car,have an affair with a 18 year old boy, and get a Brazilian wax...Then I should be all set.

If you take a good look at your life, and really analyze it, you will realize what you think is important at this moment, really is not. Right now the most important thing for me is to get a boob job and maybe some lipo over the thighs. Worrying about Mr shaky pants medical bills is all for not.

Does anyone else want to kick Elmo in the face with a golf shoe?

anyhoo, Mr shaky pants has his genetic testing done today. Wont be back for weeks. So in the mean time I have to worry about if Butch Bee is showcasing the juvenile form of Huntington..( he sometimes has out burst of not so good behavior) or if he is just mentally retarded. I am hoping he is mentally retarded.

this boy will be in the 4th grade next year. He is so very smart..So he is a high functioning retard.

ok, I do not want any emails telling me that making fun of mentally challenged people is bad. I know it is..I am not making fun of anyone...If your insulted..To damn bad...He is my kid so I can call him a retard...mmkay?

I ate about 4 handfuls of M&M's last night. I do not like that kind of candy, and I don't much care for chocolate. I ran an extra mile on the treadmill, so its all good..Right?

I am going to spend some of Tuesday working on my book. I have not had the time nor the ambition to really write the last few weeks. But it has given me some ideas for a new book. I have lots to do.

Instead of rambling anymore about pointless crap, I will leave you now.

Ok, someone get me a dang golf shoe...Or a damn machete..

Bee Real

Monday, April 24, 2006

Funky cold medina

so the weekend was good. Saturday I worked all day and I had this very old woman come to my jewelry counter. I swear she must of been a good 85 years old.

She was wearing a pink skimpy tank top with a pink crocheted sweater over top. She was sporting some pink pearls and various other pink pieces of jewels.

As she was talking to me her dentures kept falling down.

She said she liked shopping here for jewelry. But it seemed that our jewelry was going down hill. ..And all I kept thinking was this old bat is dressed in pink, yet she is wearing bright red lipstick that has some how fixated to her top denture which kept falling down..God help me out of this one.nothing worse than lipstick on your teeth..And plastic teeth at that...

Sunday was so nice. It was sunny, blue skies and a balmy 80 degree's..I had the bright idea to take two of the bees with me on my 4 mile walk with my mother..Well Boo Bee would be in the stroller, and Butch Bee would be man enough to handle the rough terrain. We headed out at 4pm..This walk normally takes me about an hour and fifteen minutes, but Sunday I didn't make it back home till after 6pm.

Butch Bee kept asking if he could ride in the stroller..He said he didn't remember 4 miles being so long..I was like..When have you ever walked 4 miles my son?

we saw some ducks..Boo Bee wanted to go just to see the ducks...She likes nature like her mom.

boo Bee also saw a whale.She got very pissed off when we did not see the whale, so finally we all had to say " yup, we see the whale" then she said " its a humpback whale mom"

Here are some photos of our walk..For your viewing pleasure..

there are geese in the back there..Just trust me on it..mmaky?

there, did you enjoy my little slide show? I would of taken a pic of the whale, but I just wasn't fast enough.

I work all day Monday..So I wont be fast to respond. I am sorry I haven't been buy to see anyone, but I am going to do that right now...I have been so busy, and then just feeling so blah..Just not myself, so I am sorry..

I will try and go one more day without running myself over with my mini van...I might just use Mr shaky pants car..Its more compact..I can get more speed with it.

Bee Real

Friday, April 21, 2006

Summer of 69

Thank you for all your words of encouragement on the last post..

moving on..Work Friday was ok...Bored as hell, but ok..Sometimes I wonder what the heck I was thinking on wanting to leave the confines of the hive. I need my head examained.Its been 3 days since I have been able to watch Days of Our Lives..This is making me all annoyed. That's what I do, at 11am I watch Martha, at noon I watch DOOL....My whole set up is out of wack, now I have to figure out what time its on Soapnet.

been working on my book. its coming along real good.

ok that was a big fat lie, I havent worked on it in about one week. I need to finish it. Then start my book tour.Hit the talk show circut. Should be loads of fun..look for me sometime..mmkay?

I feel like heading down to the Mississippi River and catchin me some crayfish..Not sure what I would do with them when I catch them. And its raining, so I will stay inside I guess..

I am charging up my Ipod, I am going for a long run tonight. I need to work some of my anxiety out. Or at least maybe go into cardiac arrest so I can lay in bed for a few days and have meals brought to me..

I might head up to the MOA..(mall of America) and head up to Victoria Secret, and get me some shiny new booby holders, maybe some thongs, and maybe some silky jammies..Can I pick you up anything while I am there?..

I am hungry, but too damn lazy to get off the couch. I think I will tell Mr shaky Pants to get me some subway for dinner. I want the chicken terrayki sub. It only has 6 grams of fat.

Thinking I might just have a good drunker tonight,I don't normally drink, so it shouldn't take me long to pass out. As long as my dust pan is handy someone can scrape me off the floor later. Or maybe just dig me a shallow grave in the back 40.

Makes no never mind to me.

Ok, I have done enough rambling, I just needed to get another post on, the other one was making me suicidal.

Have a tip top weekend.

if anyone wants to chat..Look me up..

Bee Real

When doves cry

So I thought I better post. I don't want anyone else to worry anymore..Thank you for your emails.

Ok, I am dealing with a few situations here at the hive. First up is Mr Shaky Pants and his condtion. The doctor is wanting to test him for Huntington's Diease, as everything else is coming back normal. She told him that they had to test for everything else first, because the test is so expensive, they have to rule everything else out..And they have..You would get a good belly laugh at the crap they have tested him for..

So the only way you can get this diease is to have been inherited it. Now Mr Shaky Pants knows nothing about his dads family..They are all dead..( his dad is not dead, but he knows nothing about anyone or how or why they all died..) so the docs are wondering if maybe they all died from this, and now Mr shaky pants has had it handed down to him..

which means if he has it, then there is more than a 50/50 chance all the bees could have it as well, which means Bossy will be alone..And with no grandkids..Hell I will find another hubby..They are a dime a dozen, but he will go through a very rigorous physical and the proper blood work before I will even find out his dang name.

And if he Mr Shaky Pants does have it, I will be forever changed, I will become his caregiver, (I mean I will find a good home for him..)

I have never thought about anything ever happening to him, while we are young anyway..I always had it in the back of my mind that he would lose his mind before I did, but not till we were old and he was gray..

Then we have to deal with knowing that the medical bills will be coming in..Sure the insurance is covering their part..But he has had some very expensive things done..One bill we got was for 13,000 for only a handful of tests...I cant imagine what it will be when they all come in.

Plus the cost of all his meds they have had him try..Again some were only small co-pays, some were larger...But it all adds up..

Then our house we own in Michigan, the renters can only afford 300 bucks a month,which is not even half of the payment...So we are having to pick up the rest of the amount on that..I wish that damn house would burn or sell...

The 6 months we had to pay for everything at both houses really put a damper in the ole green coming in...And it still is, because we are still forking over half of the payment.

And when we were paying for both homes, it really got us behind. If that house would sell or burn to the ground with only ashes left, that burden would be gone..But hence, this has not happened yet.

So this is what I am dealing with, the potential death of my whole family, and then all the other crap that everyone deals with. The test has not been done yet, we are waiting for them to call, and they haven't yet which is pissing me off even more..Then it will be weeks to even a month before it comes back. I wont rest easy till it comes back ok.

And I hate my job. I need to go finish my degree in microbiology. But for the last 6 years I have chosen to be home with the bees..But it might turn ot to be the best thing I could of done. Now I want to be around them more...I only have about a year and half to go, so I will try and start this fall.

I got this dang job to get out and have some fun, but its doing the total opposite to me.It is clear to me I am not a people person. I always knew it. That's why I was getting a degree in microboiolgy..

So these are the little things weighing on my tiny nut of a brain..

plus I am PMSing....Cant get much better than that folks , can it?

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Hole in my heart

I had a post wrote,if you read it or commented on it, I apologize, I didn't read it, I just deleted it the whole thing..

I am in a bad spot right now..Not feeling up to anything.

I will tell you that Mr Shaky Pants was accepted to seminary school.

But it all goes down hill from there..Maybe I will elaborate more at some juncture..Just not today, I need to process and think....

and when the hell did Ronald McDonald get so damn freaky looking?

Bee Real

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Peaceful easy feeling

Ok, so you know I am all about serving the people? I have another PSA for you about a product I have tried.This is the product I have tried for you people .

This is what happens when you use this product...

first you put your pasta in the tube
then you add boiling water
you let it set for 7-10 minutes

then....You have to get a pot out,poor the contents in the pot..Till it hits a roaring boil..

because this piece of crap gives ya limp noodles..Who wants a limp noodle?

So there...We have learned to stay away from jergins skin firming lotion,jergans natural glow lotion,Mr clean magic eraser,.....And to buy quench by oil of olay..

I need to start putting out a monthly report for my peeps...

Guess what I did yesterday. I bought some new shoes.....And they were on sale, which makes it even more grand...I will give you a little looksy..

now don't go getting all jealous on ole Bossy..mmkay..

Well Mr Shaky pants goes back to doctor today....If they don't tell him something soon, I may have to go postal..And no one wants that because I have a really bad aim..

I have to work today, so again, I wont be able to respond in a timely fashion..

My Boo Bee was so mad at me today...She wanted to go outside, I told her after her nap, and suggested she go finish watching Dora..

know what she told me?

"I hate Dora, I go outside..NOW"

so what did I do?

yup, I put my jacket on...

Why do I let that baby toy with me? I let her do whatever she wants.Because I am a good mom..

My bees are going to need therapy when they get older.

Bee Real

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

livin on the edge

I have not had time in the last few days to even stop and think. When I do let my mind wander, bad things happen.

So far work has been keeping me bored stiff, and bored stiff. I wanted a job to get out of the house. Maybe meet some people..Well, I have met 3 old ,geriatric ladies..All named Irene..No joke. I have been working 6 hour shifts, which is nice, but they are only giving me one freaking 15 minute break. I can not stand that long without praying for certain death.

On a side note from this...Now I am not the bread winner..Or even any winner. I am working for a social life, as well as to have some money..For ME..I will by know means pay any bills and such..But when a multi-billion dollar company hires people, who very well may be the bread winner..You need to pay them more than 7 buck an hour..For the crap we deal with,your paying your employees nothing..Maybe it wouldn't hurt if the CEO made 1,000 bucks less a week and maybe let the real workers make a living...Just a thought you freaking schmuck's..

My mind is crazy right now. I don't know if I am coming or going most days.Why do the bees only listen if I raise my voice? Why does lil Boo bee ask me "why" when I ask her to do anything?Why must my lil doggie bee chew on my shoe?..Now blondie bees tights..Oh, maybe cuz they are laying on the floor where they shouldn't be..Ok my bad.

This is just a little "service announcement" if you will....For those of you without bees of your own, I strongly encourage genetic counseling before you do..Because it will only suck as$ years down the road when you discover you or your spouse is a carrier of some horrid, dreadful diease that will cause everyone who has it to die a slow painful death...You may have something or even be a carrier of crap you have no idea about..So for the future of making your own little spawns of genetic freakyness, or for an untimely death for your bees, I encourage you to do this..mmaky..

this is from me to you, cause Bossy cares bout the common folk..

genetic testing..just do it...For the good of all mankind.

Bee real

Monday, April 17, 2006

In her Easter bonnet

Well, my Easter is winding down. I am full, I am fat. I ate too many eggs, so my house may or may not be rank tonight..

The Bees had a good Easter..I will poison you with some pastel vomit of Easter pics..

this is when we were coloring eggs Saturday night..

Of course this is Boo Bee...She takes this very seriously.

Oh and if your wondering what she is wearing, it is an old dress of Blondie Bee's..This baby found it, and insisted on wearing it..ALL DAY..Over top her clothes non the less..

Ok here are some from Easter morn before church....Yes, we go to church, Mr shaky pants will be a preacher before too long..And he needs to memorize some sermons..

well, I guess we go cause we are good Christian folk.

so there ya go, if you want to torture yourself and view more, just hop on over to the family blog.

I get to work all day Monday, so if I don't respond in a timely fashion, please don't get your panties in a wade..I am workin people..mmkay?

Butch Bee spent some of the day Sunday reading us his books on outerspace and the planets and blah blah blah..

As he is reading and talking about how Earth is in space and whatnot, it got me thinking..If we are in space, why do we have to look up to see space, shouldn't it just be like out our window?

Something to ponder...And if we are in space, why is there gravity here?

So much to learn. Ok, I really don't give a rats you know what, but its fun to think about crap..Right?

Well I am off to walk my 8 miles around the lake, ok Suzie?..

I may need an intervention, because when I get back, I will go to my basement and use my weight bench..Then I may get on my treadmill for a few minutes..

I ate a lot today...Ok..

Bee Real

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Pink houses

I know, I am breaking my cardinal rule of not posting on Saturday, but heck, its a slow day.

I went and did my Easter shopping. I went light this year...My bill was $109..Then with my discount it was $98. So there suckas.

I will be working in the Jewelry dept. This place will allow me all the time off I need for the up coming wedding, plus work around my schooling in the fall, and it gets me out f the house..What more could you ask for?...Besides a billion dollar winning lotto ticket?

So when we pulled in the driveway from our shopping, Blondie Bee was hopping around in the front yard, in her shorts..Yes its summer here, suck it people. Anyhoo, I told Mr Shaky pants to put the crap in the garage and we would bring it in later. I would go entertain the wee ones so they did not come peeking out to see the crap.

Well after we got in the house, I neglected my post. Blondie Bee darted out of doors without my knowledge.

I got Boo Bee a big ole bouncy ball. she loves balls and naked dolls..Not sure Blondie Bee spotted the ball. Then came in to ask if she could play with the ball. Lovely...

I usually buy them outside toys for Easter..Then make a big ole basket full of crap that will rot their teeth out and make them over weight in the years ahead of them...cause I am good mom..That's why!!

Here is a pic of little Boo Bee..I took this Friday afternoon.she is wearing her clothes, plus her sisters pajama top and her sisters boots..

she has fashion talent beyond her years...

she had been playing outside all day, so her face looks so dirty...I just love seeing kids all messed up..You know they are having fun when they are this dirty..Or else their parents got their water shut off...Never thought about that.

see, aint she dirty?...

We will do the yearly tradition of coloring eggs tonight. Nothing like biting into a deviled egg that has traces of pink and green on the white of it..It adds a little something..

I work Monday so I will be posting my Monday post tomorrow night..I will smother you with some Easter pics I am assuming..Nothing but pastel colored vomit..

Oh, I linked my myspace account on the side...alrighty then...I am going for my 4 mile hike around the lake in a bit. I am charging my IPOD..I may go around twice. Once with Becky Bee, and once with Mr Shaky pants..I am worried he will get tired, and I will have to carry him around on my back...

So bossy is walking 8 miles today...Don't be jealous..If you weren't lazy you could do it too:)

Happy Easter Peeps..

Bee Real<3

on our walk around the lake..( which Mr shaky pants could not finish, so I did have to haul him on my back) we spotted something weird..Now I am putting a disclaimer on here:
I am by no means saying this is common practice or that I think these type of people are bad or less important than me..Its just what I saw..Mind you, I live in the upper Midwest where seeing a Norwegian and spouting off "donchaknow" is common place..But there are more Mexican folks living here than the Scandinavians..mmaky..

now on to the story.we spotted a big Mexican family having their picnic at the lake which constsited of Mcdondalds. There were two little girls riding bikes along the path.

only wearing underwear...No pants of any kind..Just underwear..In public..Did I say JUST underwear.

maybe its just me..But I found it very odd..I mean having a picnic at the park..With McDonald's food..No homeade sandwiches of any kind..

just odd folks I tell you..

Happy Easter

Friday, April 14, 2006

Have a nice day

I am tired. I am hot. It was 83 fabulous degrees here Thursday. Amen..Can I get another Amen..Thank you..

Since it was so hot and steamy, Bossy decided to take a hike around the lake. It is a 4 mile jaunt, I use to ride my bike around it every night last summer. I had never walked it. Now I know why.

Here are some photos of said lake.....aint she purty?

yes, those black things are ducks...ducks people, Bossy likes nature..ummkay?

this here is a silly sign. I am not sure what it means...But maybe its best that way..

My first day on the job was ok. I am tired. I was not meant to have to work. But I needed to get out of the house. So, that's what I am doing I guess..

Well Mr Shaky Pants is still the same. I have not cured nor killed him ......yet.

Have a Happy Easter and a peaceful Good Friday. Mr Shaky Pants is in a production of something at church Friday night...He is hoping he can be still for the duration, I may need to sedate him.....With an elephant dart.

If I have to say " have a nice day" again in the next 24 hours, I will shoot something, or someone...mmkay..

So have a crappy day....

oh , and tommorw is tax day, I guess I better pay the 2100 bucks to the state..and what really sucks, is this state does not allow you to file an extension..there goes my beer money for the weekend..OH Drats..

Bee Real

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Bad Medicine

Mr Shay Pants went back to the docs today. Hmm, they redid the Lyme test and what do ya know..Its NEGATIVE..duhnoshit....

So now they are leaving his apparatus in his arm, in case you forgot what it looked like I will refresh your brains..

So now they are testing him for heavy metals..Note to my pesky in-laws..

just because the lady on HOUSE 2 weeks ago was poisoning her hubby with metals, does not mean Bossy is doing the same, ya see, I am a leader..Not a follower.

Now they are testing him for heart trouble. Next they will tell him he has Huntington's Diease.
Signs and symptoms
The earliest signs and symptoms of Huntington's disease often include personality changes and decreased cognitive abilities. You may demonstrate symptoms such as irritability, anger or paranoia or show signs of depression. You may also begin to have difficulty making decisions, learning new information, answering questions and remembering important information. Your family and friends may notice these changes before you become aware of them.
Early physical signs and symptoms of Huntington's disease may include mild balance problems, clumsiness and involuntary facial movements such as grimacing. As the disease progresses, you may develop:
Sudden jerky, involuntary movements (chorea) throughout your body
A wide, prancing gait
Severe problems with balance and coordination
Difficulty shifting your gaze without moving your head
Hesitant, halting or slurred speech
Inability to swallow
Young people who develop Huntington's disease may have symptoms that mimic Parkinson's disease, including muscle rigidity, tremors and slow movements. Those with early-onset Huntington's disease also may develop seizures.
The disease usually develops slowly, and the severity of signs and symptoms is related to the degree of nerve cell loss. Death occurs about 10 to 30 years after signs and symptoms first appear.

which is all fine and good, excpet no one in his family has ever had it, and he only has ONE damn symptom which is the uncontrollable movement's...And if he did by some fluke of Satan have it, that means my bees have a 50% chance of having it..What fun!!..Everyone in my family will be dead by 40 or before....This is better than poisoning..

Sometimes I just want to bitch slap someone....Any volunteers?

Bossy has to get ready for work...

Bee Real

*update...after I posted this peice of crap I went to my bathroom and to swoosh with some Listerine..yes Bossy may not look at the TP or snot rags, but dang it I like a clean mouth. So anyway, I am so befuddled that I swallowed insides are burning..I am sure I am bleeding out somewhere...

Get outta my dreams..Get into my car

Bossy had the weirdest dream the other night. I had a dream that Mr.Shaky Pants heart had to be removed. although the procedure did not kill him,not many can live without a heart persay...But follow me here...

So he had his heart removed, and was told he would only live for a few more days. It was weird, cause he still went to work. I knew he was going to die. It was an erie feeling. I guess I just don't have good feeling about all this. Or maybe its because Mr Shaky Pants told me he was having heart burn and I was watching Cross Country with John Edward before I went to bed..Either way...Creepy..

I have noticed something as of late. Being we had the bird flu streak through the hive recently and there was lots of nose blowing. But have you ever noticed someone when they blow their nose? Watch next time, I guarantee you they will open up the Kleenex and look inside. Like maybe they are expecting to blow gold outta their blow hole. I am never sure what they are looking for. It is really very odd with a touch of gross in there. And also, I notice with my kids..When they
wipe their bottoms, they have to look at the TP..Ok, why? I am not a TP looker. I have never realized this was a practice till I saw both the bees doing it. Again, what the heck are they looking for? Is there a prize inside I am unaware of? Am I missing out on some kind of gold or rubies? If so, I will be sure to open up my Kleenex and take a gander at the TP after I go wee. My luck, I will just be looking at snot and wee wee.

So sit back, and think about, or dare I say ponder these items today. Let me know what you come up with.

Are you a snot looker?

Bee Real

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

She drives me crazy

I got this letter the other day. In this letter it states that they have been informed about my child. They would like to meet with my child. I am thinking this is my meal ticket. Mr shaky Pants makes me throw it away. I say, but they heard about our child...Come on now..

Looks like none of my bees will be on the cover of any fancy magazines.

it was 80 degrees Monday.....with a slight breeze outta the I guess..nice day indeed
Ok I will go into some detail about my Lesbian friend thing. My Lesbian friend, whom I have been close with since circa 1988, has this friend..Girlfriend if you will. She hates me..She thinks me and my Lesbian friend are too close...Now mind you, she is the closest friend I have had, we have been threw a lot together, but kissing or anything of that nature has not been one of them. I like the boys people..

She thinks my Lesbian friend wants to have relations with me. When infact this is not the case. I am so not her type. I am a girly girl of sorts, and my Lesbian friend likes the butch girl look, with some junk in the trunk...Plus I am in no way shape or form interested in anything of that nature nor is my Lesbian friend.

I don't know why her friend would be so threanted by me. My Lesbian friend tells her that we have special bond..And that she loves me..But in the way you would love a sister...But all her friend hears is that she loves me...Its a messy situation. But it seems I have that Lesbian household in one hellofa up roar. Good thing I am back in the home land..Totally Lesbian free zone here..

Mr Shaky Pants is on a downward spiral of shaky pants, and pain....The IV in his arm that leads to his heart is not helping...

I am making funeral arraignments in the AM. His prognosis according to Bossy is not good. I am gonna go get signed up for a dating service now.

Bee Real

Monday, April 10, 2006

Take the long way home

Yes folks, don't adjust your sets, Bossy is back home. Bossy is tired and smelly. I am going to take care of one of those situations now.

I had a good time, we picked out our dresses, saw my family, caused an uprising with my Lesbian friend and her lady, went gambling, lost my money gambling, overall, a good time.

And my dear sweet Jennifer spent 150 bucks on a tiera and 80 on strapless bra. She has over 200 bucks wrapped up in her boobs and hair..My kinda girl. She bought the most beautiful dress..I would post a pic, but I am not sure she wants me too or not, and my luck that would be the one time my dad actually came here..DRATS.

Well Bossy is off to bed, I don't really have any humorous stories..Sorry..

Missed you all, now lets return to our regular scheduled blogging..mmkay?

Bee Real

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Goodbye yellow Brick Road

Well Wednesday was a glorious day at the hive. It was close to 70 wonderful degrees. I even kept my front door open much of the day...

Soon I am headed to the homeland for a short visit. I will journey to my local airport, from there I will venture to the windy city, and from the windy city I will venture to the tri city airport in the homeland. If my plane goes down, well so be it..Just set up shrines at your own convenience. No rush, but no longer than 48 hours..mmkay?

Mr shaky pants still has his "outfit" attached to his arm, leading to the heart..Hope he don't keel over while I am gone..The smell would be retchid by the time I get home.

I doubt my bees will miss me. But when they don't get baths for 3 days, they will wonder what is smelling...

Well don't miss me too much, I am only as far away as the world wide web..

Well I am off ..Soon my much younger and thinner new mommy will greet me at the airport, we will drive back to the home, go to dinner with the grandparents, go gambling..yadda yadda yadda..Are you jealous yet?

Something in the family is really pissing Bossy off. But I wrote about it on the family blog....So if ya wanna go take a peek, head on over.

Oh, Bossy got a job....Hip hip hurray for Bossy...I cant hear your three cheers..

ok, I can hear ya now..

Bee Real

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Madman across the water

Tuesday as ole Bossy was peeling a piece of fruit, it suddenly came to me that eating an orange should not be so dang difficult. I mean you have the whole art of peeling it, then you get that white stuff stuck under your nails. Then when you break it open to peel out a slice, you get drippyness down your wrist..Then you get that stickiness..You even try and lick it off as it is dripping down your hand.

Why oh Lord why do you tempt me with an orange, yet make me get messy eating it?

Moving on,
Today me and blondie Bee had nothing better to do..So this is what we did..

I know what your thinking..

Bossy, I had no idea you were such a wiz at the sand art...

actually I am a wiz at just about anything, but I must say, Blondie did all the work. She poured the sand in, made the designs, yup..She's my crafty lil Bee..

I even cleaned up the mess, cause I am a good mom.

So Mr. Shaky pants got his cool crap in his arm yesterday. The tube leads directly to his heart..One shake could kill him...

well not really, but it sounded kinda dangerous.


Makes ya glad you don't have whatever aliment he may have huh?


And here is one last pic to wet your whistle.

This is the Bees with Becky Bee.....The Bees are suckin on popsicles..Yup, cause I am a good mom..

I leave tomorrow for the homeland. I need to pack. I may see about getting a one way ticket.

Well I need to go eat an orange, thank my lucky stars I don't have what Mr shaky pants has..And go make my OWN colored sand in a jar.

Bee Real

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Its the end of the world as we know it

Blondie Bee is sick again. She has had a fever since Saturday. Took her to the place where the guys have medical degrees, yea she has a virus....No crap butt wad...But why is my baby sick again?

So I have made a decsion. We are all going to live in a bubble. Ya know, true bubble boy style. A very controlled environment where no one can get in, including the crazies..And germs infested creatures..Like other peoples kids.

I will have different wings in this bubble. A wing that only I am allowed in, then other various wings..One with toilets, one with other amenities you would see at a five star hotel. There will be wings designated for eating, bathing, sleeping ect..ect..

I will also build the restaurants I love inside this bubble. I cant be expected to cook every night, now can I?

I will start to home school the bees. Lord knows I have no gumption or motivation to teach them real stuff, so I will teach them how to boil water, balance a check book, and make a bed. They may not be the smartest Bees, but they will know some basic life skills.

Friends will be prohibited and crazy folks will be banished. You will have to take a personality profile as well as complete background and mental health checks before you can gown up and enter the bubble.

There will be talk amongst the common folk. I am sure that a social worker will be involved at some point. But when they hear my reasoning behind the bubble and general lack of human interaction..They will ask to live there as well.

I will have to construct my bubble in the deep south, as I think cold Midwest winters will crack the bubble and let condensation in, which will then lead to a draft, which will then lead to catching a cold.

Plus I want to live in the deep south, I want to see the little lizards walking atop my bubble. I want palm trees and a nice fat citrus tree in the yard..and yes, you can have a yard when you live in a bubble..

I will also have an indoor swimming pool, gym and wet bar.

It is going to be a big bubble.

Well I better go and start drawing up the blue prints.

Bee Real

update on Mr shaky pants "condition"..He went to a infectious diease doc for the lyme diease. They don't think he has lyme diease...
But if he does have lyme it is the late stage and it has went to his neurlogical system..So just in case that IS what he has, they need to treat it more aggressively..So today he gets to go get a "pick" put in his arm for IV treatment..He will have to give himself the meds in his own arm, and a nurse will come to the house once a week to change the dressing..They are testing him for hundreds of weird stuff...

if a nurse is coming once a week, I need to make sure my house is cleaner for heavens sake....I hate all the pressure.

Now his arm is gonna have some kinda needle /port thingy..So he is gonna expect special treatment....Man I cant catch a break.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Lets go Crazy

I have decided that instead of coming up with clever titles for my crappy posts, I am going to just name each post the name of songs I like.....mmmkay?

Ok, moving on..

And speaking of songs, as I was trying like mad over the weekend to download my new Prince CD into my Ipod, ( I really hate technology....It should not be so dang hard to do these things...Curse the invention of things I cant work)..It had come to my attention that when I was just a mere lil Bossy, I liked songs just because they had curse words in them..

It seemed it was the only time I could get away with using a swear word..I mean I was just just singing a song afterall..

I will give you a few lame examples of what I am speaking of..First song I loved as a kid was "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oats..Merely for the line." its a bitch girl and you've gone to far cause you know it don't matter anyway".

I would repeat this song over and over, we had the record...That was my favorite song for months and months..

Next song I use to like to jam to was Big Shot by Billy Joel..Mealier for the lyrical genius line of
"But don't come bitchin' to me"

Any song with hell or damn were pure gold. But if I had the excuse for using the B word, Bossy took full advantage of this. So my potty mouth started as wee one. Now I try to keep it cleaner..afterall, when your 2 year old says " damn it" when her block tower falls, you know you need a curse word intervention....And STAT.

As I got a little older, I would take full advantage of my love for Prince, because back in the day, his songs were doused with curse words and sex talk. Any song that said "now move your ass this way so I can work on that zipper baby" was pure gold to me..Lots of his songs had mother fu*ker. Nothing like hearing that F-bomb in a song...At one point my ole mother took all my Prince tapes away from me..I guess after she heard a song about masturbating she figured it wasn't suitable for my virgin 9 year old ears..What the heck does she know?

when I hear music that is being sent over the air waves now, all this was very tame.

In a few short days I will be heading to the "homeland"...I will be out of commision from Thursday till Sunday night. So don't get your panties in a bind, Bossy will be back..

I would go into detail about what I was wanting to spew about, but I have changed my mind..All I will say is that my lil Bees come by crazy way too easily. I really shoulda done a background check on Mr Shaky Pants family before I let him breed...I mean I have a few harmless crazies in my family....Anyway...That's all I will say..

hear is a piece of advice from ole Bossy..From me, to you..

crazy is as crazy does....Don't let one crazy spoil the bunch, but if they are all crazy, just protect yourself. The crazies will try to convert you, the more they recruit the more chocolate they get...Crazies love chocolate...

they will bring bags and goobs of it to your house, even though you tell them NOT to supply any of that garbage to your house anymore..They think they can override your authority..

If we stop producing from the coco bean..The crazies will leave..I swear..

There, take what you can from that, and be careful...There are crazies around every bloody corner

Bee Real