Saturday, September 05, 2009


I always knew that putting stuff out onto the world wide web means anyone can see what you write. I mean I have gotten hate mail, fan mail, marriage proposals and the sort.

But nothing compares to what I received the other day.

What I am about to tell you is just fucking outstanding. The person who sent this to me, not only made me shit my shorts, but made me realize that "you never know who is reading" the shit u put on the internet.

In the years I have been writing here, this is the first time I have gotten a letter from someone of this sure it will be the last as well.

I had a post about the many questions I had regarding the Michael Jackson case. So many things not adding up, so many things not making sense.. It was more a joke, and poking fun and the stuid shit that is out there..

But one person in particular, did not see the humor or the oddity as I didd..

I got a letter from someone inside the Jackson family, whom shall remain nameless. I will not go into the details of our emails, who it is, or any of the sort..

They said they simply found my blog thru a blog seach in the weeks after Michael died, wanting to read what others thought about his untimly passing..and they came across the one I had written, and thought it was funny and heart warming..(thier words, not mine)

Below are just snipits of the first said letter..

Now I'm only publishing a tiny portion of what was in this letter, as some things were just none of anyone else's business.

Michael was a kind and giving soul and our hearts will forever miss him. We do indeed need to move past, and solider on, and carry his works out. Wipe the tears and help someone less fortunate than ourselves.

Take your creative side and make a masterpiece,As Michael would want all of us to do.

Our Michael has passed on, and it has been nothing but a nightmare for everyone, and than to see you (a fan) criticize our ever move at Michael's service was not only uncalled for, but agonizing.

You have no idea what our family has been through, and I just want to say I am sadden by this.

Please take into consideration the feelings of others when writing something about another person. I am not asking you to take the post down, but to remember the pen is mightier than the sword (so to speak)

Thank you for understanding

________________ Jackson

Those are just bits from the first letter..I will say though the email I sent back on the first letter was done in Rocker Mom fashion, so there was cussing as well as other things..

In the second letter I recieved from this person they talked about how Michael needed Privacy not only in his life, but in his death. That I could not possibily understand the kinda "strife"..(thier words, not mine) he endoured while alive.

I will leave you with a song Michael wrote called Privacy. I always loved this song, but now it has new meaning for me, as I never really got it until now.

anyway...just thought I would give you the reason as to why my post is now gone..

the Internet...what a weird fucking thing...

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

smooth Criminal..indeed

I never have claimed to be Sherlock Holmes. But I can smell a rat when I see one. In this post I am going to unravel somethings for you people. It may be an eye opener for some of you.

want to know a fact?

Michael Jackson is not dead.

And in this post I will give you my reasons why. You need to read this all, and watch and look at all the links I leave, because I can not very well explain every single thing on here it would take too long. So some things I will be explaining with video..mmmkay?

First off, why don't we start with the ever so popular ambulance picture of Michael on his dying ride to UCLA?..ok..

here is the pic.

Ok, now I am about to point out WHY this is NOT Michael Jackson. First off, did he get a tan?..take a good look at this...

Now here is a picture of Michael taken two days before he died..

Do you notice anything?

the nose is not the same, the skin color is not the same..

That pic of Michael in the ambulance is not only way to young to be Michael, buts its from another era..does this look familiar?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

This alone does not add up!

Here is a video that really goes into detail about this issue..

Plus in the leaked coroners report Michael was bald and missing his nose piece...(which i don't think he has a nose piece)...but yet in the ambulance his hair is in place and his nose from the late 80's is firmly in place?

That does not bother anyone?

just me?


Michael was always famous for saying never believe what the media tells you.

Now lets move on to Mr Conrad Murray!..this will be BIG huge fun!

He is a cardiologist, yet he does not know you do not give CPR on a bed?

his one dumb mother fucker.

Now I want you to watch this attention to it..its only like 2 minters long!..stay with me here folks..

OK..did you watch it?

Was it Dr Murray calling the Never land staff, or was it Michael calling to say the plan has been put into motion?

Does any of that make sense to anyone? I the only one who has issues with the fact he saw Michael not breathing, yet spent 90 on the phone before calling 911?

I want to now move on to this memorial we all fed into.

I admit, I cried like a fucking baby..

watch this video..and tell me how you feel about the memorial all kind makes sense..

is anything adding up to you guys yet?


ok, lets move on..

Lets get into the fact no one will sign the death certificate. Why? Because its illegal to sign a DC if the party is not dead.

BUT WAIT Rocker Mom...faking your death is illegal.

sure it is..your right.

But if you notice, no monies have been exchanged yet.

I heard a few months ago, maybe in May that MJ was planning something big before his concerts.

than I came across this little piece of info..

anyone who is a MJ fan, knows he LOVED magic..

That was written back in 2006, and if you think about it, it would take this long to plan such an event!

Moving along..

Here are a few other videos for you to wet your whistle on..

OK now lets talk about something else..

Why did they not show his body at the memorial?

because there is no body.

The family claims it was because the side of his face was caved in during the futile attempts at CPR..first of all, if they are doing CPR on your face, thats never a good sign.

Second, in the ambulance photo, he face is fact, so fine his make up and hair are perfect!

On Sept 3rd they will be having a burial. A private burial.

Not sure what they are burying...but here are some interesting points.

Marlon Jackson, Mikes brother made a statement that the kids have made letters to put inside the casket. And Mikes will be buried with stage make up, and his white glove. Also that his hair dresser is fixing up his best wig!

As the body WILL be shown..

Whats wrong with this picture?

Well Rocker Mom,,seems plausible to me.


lets dig deeper into that.

First of all, why go into so much detail about the make up and such?

Second, they said his face was too badly damaged to show at the public service, yet his nearly 3 month old decomposing body is OK to show in front of his children?

Sure he has been in refrigeration over the last two months, but that does not stop the decomposing process..

Its all for show...this whole burial is all for show.

And the fact his grave is private where fans can not come see is a red flag. Michael loved his fans dearly. What Mike hated was the press and media, twisting stories and making up lies about him...the fans though..he adored!

So why have his grave away from his fans?

Because they worry some crazy person will dig the body up to see there is indeed..NO BODY!

thats why.

Now I have a couple theories on why this went down..

My first one is that he is staging the biggest comeback, never to be outdone..There is a lot of people in on this, so the jig will be up me.

I have heard two scenarios relating to this theory.

In October the movie comes out. The one with all the rehearsal footage, that just HAPPEN to be shot in hi-movie quality film...u don't find that odd? the end of the movie I have heard all will be revealed..

who knows...

the second thing I have heard is that something is suppose to happen at the tribute concert they are holding in Vienna later this month.

I'm not sure I buy that one..

My second theory as to why this went down is because MJ life was in danger.

Mike worked with a man named Dr Thome Thome..just a month before he died Michael fired this man, as he did not trust him anymore.

The man was over heard saying how he would bring death and mayhem to the Jackson family..

(go to YouTube and search Michael Jackson 162 it goes into more detail on this man)

So was his life really in danger?

Who knows...

Another thing..Michael was good friends with a man named Gotham Chopra, who appeared on Larry king shortly after the death.

On July 13th..(or there abouts) he tweeted on Twitter..

"had the most fascinating dinner with the man who runs the world from behind the curtain"

what the fuck does that mean?

Dr Murray will never be arrested.

There are a ton of people in on this. Which is amazing.

But I feel there is no way MJ would go thru all this to NOT come back. He wants to prove he can he is back and better than ever!

Now if MJ is indeed dead, than there is some shitty police work going on and it just confirms that the Jackson family only thought of Mike as a walking ATM..because what mother,father,sibling would not bury their loved and just let them rot inside a fridge at a cemetery?

makes no sense.

I can poke so many holes out of this story it not even funny!

I have many more issues with this story...but I will write a part two maybe..

So..what do you think?

Is Michael Jackson dead?

or is he staging the biggest comeback of all time?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

what happens in Kansas...ends up here

So I went to Kansas...and there were no yellow brick roads, flying monkies or the scarecrow from the wiz..

what a fucking rip off.

Had a great time with the BFF, the tots had a great time and didnt want to leave..

I will show you some pics because I know u people love that shit.

Thats two of my tots one of her tots and I on the back of some donkey thing in some town there..

I know, I give out way too much information.

thats a group of us at a total dive of a bar for a night out in the land of Oz...dont be hating

lets see,here are more..

Since this little computer of mine is stupid, thats all Im posting..
I know it looks like I live a great life, I take all these cool trps to lame places, go to concerts and dive bars in the middle of nowhere Kansas. But I put my pants on one leg at a time like the rest of you.
I also met a friend of mine there whom baked me some cookies which were damn good! We ate at a Mexican place where both my girls refused to eat at.
Thats how I roll!
Im getting closer and closer to moving out of this shit for saken state..But thats all i am going to say right now..
Im on a mission to get out of here.
Oh and I was offered a job in kansas..maybe, just maybe I will take it.
its workin cornors every other weekend, but its a gig right?
Thats all folks..

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

on bother

Yes I realize its been a coons age since I was here. I was on vacation give a girl a fuckin break will ya!

I got back last week, and have been trying to get my crap figured out. Because when you are gone for a few weeks, your crap tends to get un-figured, or something..I dont know.

I got my braces put on last week, and holy shit...thats all I can say...holy shit..

any questions?

I am still grieving over the loss of one Michael Jackson. WHY? I have no fucking idea. But it bothers me more than anything. Put a fork in me, I'm done!

This is just a warning, don't put me in a room alone with the man who killed him, cause one of us will be dead and one will be in just sayin..

Sure in a way Michael did it to himself, but Conrad Murray being a doctor and all was suppose to PROTECT him, not kill him! All these people enabled him and it sickens me to no end! You don't give a drug addcit anestisia to go to sleep!..or anyone for that matter...what a fucking idiot!

No one helped him. Michael wrote many songs about his drug addictions, he was crying for help and yet no one gave a shit!

If you have never heard the song Morphine, I suggest you go to youtube and find it...Boo and I love this song because it kicks ass!..but it is very sad!

someone needs to pay for what they did to him!

Music means more to me than just about anything other than my family. I am always listening, dancing or singing something..always!

I had a specail kinda bond with him...and um no you asshats, he didnt molest me.

But its something I cant even explain...and now he is gone..never to be seen again!

and I'm pissed..

ok..moving on sonsaguns..

I went to my Def Leppard show with my girlfriend Kim..boy did we have the best flipping are some pics..


I also took my tots to the county is a pic of the kids and I..

dont we look all wholesome? Kinda like you ripped that picutre out of a Parents magazine..

My computer is being a total douche bag right now...

anyway, thats us at the county fair...just like Charletts Web, Minus Charlotte, Some Pig, Fern and Templeton.

I'm going to Kansas next Friday..the fam and I are going on a road trip to see the pal that moved out there...

You know how much I love those damn road trips.

What else was I going to say?

hell, i don't even know!

The tots are growing like weeds on a cold summer day...

yes i saw cold cause its been as shitty ass summer here.

The Boy has braces now..him and I look like douches together..

thats how we roll!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Man in the mirror

When my grandpa died 2 years ago, that was the last time I truly sobbed. It takes a lot to make me cry, I am known for having a heart made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails. Just ask my son,he will tell you.

When a celebrity passes away, I never give it much thought. I think..ehh, thats sad, sorta, and go about my day.

In the 5 years I have been writing on this blog, I have never really spoke about anyone famous who has passed away, because I normally don't give two or hell three shits about any but a select few.

When he died, I was in shock, total and udder shock. I did not know what to think, as this man was an intricate part of my childhood, and now he is gone. For Christ sake I practiced the Moonwalk for hours on my front porch because I thought since I am going to be his wife someday, I should really be a back up dance, cause I do have moves..

I had the red "pleather" jacket with the beading, the glove and my most prizes possions, my Michael Jackons Microphone that I sang all the shitty songs of the 80's with.

stop laughing, I do have moves...damn it people, cant you see I'm grieving?

No matter what you think about him, it makes no never mind to me, because this is my blog, and these are my thoughts, so get bent...

now that thats out of the way, I can go on.

Saturday I finally broke down and sobbed and sobbed. And right now as I write this, I am listening to my Itunes with my 20 plus MJ songs that I have, hey his songs are GREAT workout songs, trust me! I am wiping tears from the corner of my eyes, because I still can not believe he is gone.

It hit me bad yesterday morning, I was watching MTV or something of that sort, and they played his videos over and over again as a reminder to, that a part of my childhood had died.

I would see Bylines like this

In Memory of Michael Jackson 1958-2009

And it would make me sick. Still does.

No matter what you thought about his personal life, and frankly, I will be the first to say that he had some serious mental issues. But with a childhood as he had, how could he not?

The poor man suffered from a severe case of body dis morphia I do believe.

At one time he was the most beautiful man on the planet. I can recall watching the video "say Say Say" and thinking, holy cow, my husband is the most beautiful man in the whole world.

Take a look at this video, he is so young, so care free, so happy..practically perfect in every way.

He is looking his best in this video, and this one is the really brings the tears to my eyes..

As I grew older, and as he did, I had second thoughts about bearing his children..Because he was just creepy looking.

This man was a poor tortured soul, and it breaks my heart his life ended so suddenly and his image tainted with all sorts of scandals. None of us know the truth, however I cant judge a man for things I am uncertain that he did. Like the rest of you, I have my doubts, but I can not let that taint the image of him I have embedded in my mind as an 8 year old sobbing when I heard his hair caught on fire, thinking he would surly die.

When I think back at his legacy, it makes me sick inside to hear the grossly things people say about him. The fact of the matter is, there is not an artist alive today that could even come close to surpassing his talent.

My son asked me the other day if such a big deal would be made if one of the Jonas Brothers died. I told him maybe on the Disney Channel, but in the real word, hell no...Than he asked the same thing about Miley Cyrus...I said the same thing. Than he said what if one of the Jonas Brother killed Miley

I told him you might have a story there my son.

No one can hold a candle to him musically..And those are the facts.

Now in my later years I was not such a big fan, because like many I thought not only was he weird, but all the scandals were just keeping me at bay. But about two years ago I came to the conclusion that no matter what I may think of him now, it does not change the fact most of his songs are flawless, and his talent surpasses anything that will ever be seen again in my lifetime.

About two months ago I was at Best Buy looking for some good workout songs, songs that make u want to move around and dance. In my hand I held History past present and future by Michael Jackson. It had every song I loved and them some. I thought to myself, I cant be seen with this shit. I can not go look the cashier in the eye and make this transaction. I just can not do it.

So I set it down. I thought I could do this in the privacy of my own home on a thing called Itunes.

So thats what I did.

When I look back at that, I feel ashamed. I was too embarrassed to buy a Michael Jackson CD.

I am not going to get into the logistics of him molesting tots, cause frankly it makes me sick..Now if he would have been convicted of those things, I have a feeling my thoughts would be slightly changed. In my heart of hearts I have to think, for my own good, that people were taking advantage of his kindness and his wealth and thought thats the way to bring this man down and hard...In my own mind thats what I NEED to think.

And thats all I will say about it, because its neither here nor there. We will never know the truth..So for my own sake, I need to think that he would not do anything of that sort.

There are a few artist out there who influenced me in different ways.

Elton John made me want to play the piano. When I was very small I remember my parents listing to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, and I was just hooked on the piano after that.

Prince influenced me in many ways a young child...Him and Michael Jackson both made Me want to be singers and songwriters as well as a dancer.

What child in the 80's did not watch a Michael Jackson video and want to be a dancer?

I had a note pad in my room and would write and compose my own songs, and when my parents were not home, i would go pound out the tunes on my piano. I wrote some pretty good shit too.

Those days are dead and buried, as well as most of my inspiration from the time period.

Here is another song that I adored..still do...

he looks so healthy in this video, although I can not ever picture him really having those sexual desires for anyone, its still a great song.

Like I said, I don't want to hear how YOU hated him, or that he was a child raper...this was written to heal my own soul.

I thought for three days on whether to even write anything..but my heart is so sadly broken, I just had to get it all out.

A part of my childhood is gone, someone who made me love music as much as I still do to this day, someone who inspired many of us is gone..

Its going to take me a while to let this all sink in, because Its still like a very bad dream.

I will always remember him for the music man he was. Not for the tabloid fodder he had become over the last 15 years.

Its not fair to his children or to those of us who he inspired.

You need to make a distinction between his professional life and his personal life.

No one ever will achieve the greatest he had in his professional life.

And those are the things that will keep his memory alive within me.

Thats all I have to say about that.

cause I'm bad.

R.I.P August 29th 1958-June 25th 2009

Thank you for the music, the inspiration and for being my first choice for walking down the aisle with me.

Love you Michael!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Come see the softer side...

well in a few days I am leaving for London to get some things ready for our big arrival! I can't wait for our life there, even though it is only temporary,I'm going to enjoy it while I am there.

Mike is so excited about his new journey. He tells me its an adventure. I believe that, he works really hard, I barely see him anymore. Which is a good thing right now because he is getting cranky. don't think he is getting enough sleep.

I had a wonderufl time at home with the family. it was so nice to see everyone. Seems like I have been on the go for months now, I will be glad to get all settled in and know I do not have to leave for a while.

I may even start having tea and crumpets. Maybe pick up a fake British accecent like Madonna, oh what fun!

We got together with his family in mid May and sort of said our goodbyes to everyone, it was nice. I think we now have all our goodbyes out of the way. I hate goodbyes.

Well I better wrap this up I need to get some things packed for London. I will be back on the 26th, and will call everyone when i get back. we are making our big move in like less than weeks I think..WOW, its coming fast.

well love you all and Mike and I will see you all very soon.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


So I thought maybe it was time for some sort of post, or update or some shit. I know how you people like to keep tabs on me, cause you are all nosey like that, and I get that.

Well I had my surgery, it went ok, I am still alive as you can see. Today I find out if I am having another one. Its all big fun, I swear to God, I wouldn't lie.

My Boo graduated from her pre-school, so now she is well on her way to graduating high school. The Boy is doing well, has a baseball game tonight and is always lookin for chicks. Little does he know I would rather him be gay than to bring a chick home. I don't think I will like any dames he brings home, because none are going to be good enough, and may only be using him for his hot roller blading skilz or his allowance.

Blondie is doing well. She graduates the third grade next week. She nearly bit her bottom lip off the other day at school.

Lets see, what else are u dying to know about?

Oh, our house is now for sale. So far there has not been any action, which is ok, cause we are not nearly ready to move yet.

The hubs is looking for employment in Arizona. That is where we both settled on.

Why are we moving you ask? Well, its a long and drawn out affair. Number one, MN sucks worse than MI when it comes to jobs and weather...I take that back, I think MI does suck more in the job area, I do stand corrected! We are glad we got out of that tumbling job market when we did. If we would of stayed sure as shit he would not have a job now.

We kind of feel this is a good time..even though the economy is shaky, better than it was, but still shaky, because our tots are getting older and once The Boy hits high school, its down right cruel to drop kick em out of school and shove him into a new one.

A couple years ago, the hubs and I decided in two years we would try and get out of here, not knowing the economy would shit itself.

Now that the economy is starting to re-potty train itself, we are more hopeful of getting out of getting out of here.

Plus he has had to take a nearly 15% pay cut, they stopped matching his 401K which means at this rate, we won't ever have enough money to retire. I can not find good enough employment here and there are too many mosquito's.

If a place hires him, that means their company is doing pretty f-ing well, otherwise they are not going to relocate a body from MN.

It may take a while, but eventually we will be out of here.

I am also looking for employment out there. I have a diverse background, I can do writing, I can work with the mentally ill, I can work in jails, and I can count, and I am damn good at my ABC's

So far I see tons of shit I could be hired for but it is kinda hard to even try to apply for anything until I know for sure when we will be there. But at least I know there is hope once I get there.

We just want to be settled down, and know we can plant our roots firmly into the sand..(cause ya know, its sandy out there and shit...) We don't want to have to think about relocating ever again..

The hubs is somewhat excited about the upcoming adventure...He said to me..

"Arizona does not sound all that bad"

My tots are excited about going there. Except The Boy. But he always looks for things to complain about. Once he gets there, that boy won't know what to do with himself, being surrounded by chicks in shorts all year round.

Now that the first part of my job is done, meaning my tots are all in school, and I can focus on doing things for me, I am looking forward to the journey. Before the tots were all in school, my main priority was to be here with them, because I myself did not have tots for them to be raised for 8 hours a day by someone else, even their grandma..My mom raised her tots, its not her job to raise mine..It's MY job.

So I sacrificed a good 10 years to be able to be here when it counted. Now that my son is old enough to babysit in the summers and during school breaks I am home free to be able to either continue my education or jump right in to full time employment.

Only there aint shit here...

Times are tough for many people right now. And we are thankful hubs is still gainfully employed, even though he has taken a huge pay and retirement cut.

But its time to move get settled and stay put forever.

Where the sun is always out, the snow rarely hits, and palm trees all around. 4 hours from Vegas, 5 hours from San Diego. The tots and hubs can still go tussle in the snow if they wish, cause there are mountains and places where it does snow, which is only a drive away. Its the best of everything.

Now we just need to get there.

So there, your nosey little fuckers are updated.

Peace Out~

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Well, its my birthday, I am having surgery Monday and God willing we will be moving soon.

So whats new with you?

Someday soon I hope to be back to my full time blogging job, but ya no, I am a tad lazy and its not like I have not told you this before.

Oh, and I hope noone gets the swine flu..

I have had one too many cherry bombs tonight...

Saturday, April 11, 2009


How the HELL did 10 turn into 50?

Saturday, February 28, 2009

lets see


Well, I know its been a while..

I am officially going on a blogging vacation until my birthday in May.

I will be in and out of the blog world till than..taking the tots away for Spring Break, registering for school, and doing all sorts of dirty things you will not be interested in at all.

I will tell you later about the shemale I saw doing Meth in the Cashwise parking lot, or the woman I saw wipe out on the treadmill at the gym, or the endless asswipes I encounter on a daily basis..

Or the fact Pale Girl is moving to Kansas in June..

After she leaves, what the hell am I going to blog about?

I am going to have to find a new pale girl..

My son will be 12 on st Patricks Day..I am getting old..he even has a Facebook now, all his little snot nose friends do as well.

Good thing we did not have that kinda shit when I was a kid..

On July 24th I will be attending a Def Leppard concert in Detroit with a girlfriend from High School, we will be near the front, showing our boobies, thats how we roll...Aqua Net, fishnets, and cleavage galore..its going to be a sweet day.

So I will be back May 2nd with pics and updates and a new look I please stayed tuned.

When I have time, i will be dropping by to see everyone..

Things have been really weird here at home, and I have not even been on my blog in over a week.

Ya no, I had 11 baby hamsters to tend to..but I took nine of them back to the store that sold me the knocked up rodent..God top fukin dollar.

U can catch me over at Facebook if u want..I tend to log on there more than anything..

But I will be back and better than ever in May..

Don't forget me, and I wont forget you...

Peace out bitches.

I am officially a pre nursing student...I will be a RN in a few short years...I will be spending my summer taking math and chem classes as well as a nurse aide class..all these things are mandatory for me to get in the nursing program..

I will be a busy little beaver...

but a freakin hot, smart and blood lovin beaver..

PEace OuT!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

and on the 10th day

I am not sure where to begin, so lets just skip that part.

Yes, everyone knows I bought my daughter a hamster for her birthday, and yes a week later she drops a load in her cage of what apprear to be grubs..

This was the grubs as newborns..

This was them at like two or three days old, at this point I was really unaware at how many of these nasty lookin shits there were..

Now today, at ten days old..I am certain..

there are too fucking many...

Lets see, what else..

I have some topics I am going to be covering in later stay tuned..

I have been laid up on my back for days, and not in a good way..

curse the common head really takes this bitch out for a walk.

Peace out..

Sunday, February 08, 2009

its a couple girls, and a couple boys

So I took Linda back to the store because she was disabled...she has been gone about a week now..poor laddie couldn't walk to the water.

Than today, it appears as though Annie had a little of puppies, I mean hamsters.

Stupid rodent was rolling around in her ball last nite, not a care in the world..I took her out, let her crawl up my arm and we kissed a little..

no thats not weird.

Than today, I find a tiny,nekkid hamster in the food dish just a squeaking away.

I lift up Annie to find about 6 or 7 more where that one came from..So far they are all alive and doing well.

I called the pet store, because she was obviously knocked up when I got her, because I got her less than two weeks ago, and hamsters are pregnant about 3 weeks.

I remember telling the hubs how fat Annie was, and that she needed to walk around in her ball more.


The store said they would buy them back if I wanted..

SO right now I am sittin on a $100 gold mine..

I just may go into the hamster breedin bidniss.

They can pop babies out every couple weeks and very low maintence kinda delivery, and flexable hours.

hellz yeah!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Mistaken Identity

I need to fix something. I had said that it was Annie who was handicapped, but I was wrong, it was Linda.

Poor Poor sad Linda.

I called the pet store I got Linda and Annie and told them Linda was well, a special needs hamster.

They told me to bring her in..So I did. The woman set Linda in a little box and said she was going to keep an eye on her, but thought she would need to out her down.

So lets have a moment of silence for Linda.

Poor rodent may be running on the big wheel in the sky now..

It is just like me to pick out a hamster with special needs.she woulda had to ride the short bus to hamster school.

So now Annie is an only child, and that girl is always into some sort of trouble.

I put her in her ball when the tots are at school, and she can find trouble a human toddler could never find.

Anyway, our two hamster household has dwiddled down to one..if dwiddled is not a word, I am copyrighting that one too!

Rest in Peace Linda.

When I was at the gym last night, the teens who live at the drug treatment center came in..I have never seen them in there before.

You know you live in a fucked up area when there is a in house drug treatment center for tots ranging in age from 10 -18..

can I get a helz yeah!

I was asked to work there when it first opened, as the woman who use to be my boss was running it, but I declined..Thank God, cause me and those tots would never get along.

The way they were acting at the gym, those fuckers woulda been grounded.

They didn't clean any of the machines they were goofing around on, they were wearing like new years hats, and one didn't even have his shoes tied and tried running on the treadmill next to me, and fell.

I told him he was a dumbass.

A lot of dumbasses live here though, so that is not surprising.


I have been thinking about something..

I am either thinking of setting my blog to private, or else stop blogging all together.

Just delete the whole mother f-ing thing..

or changing my address...

Its a big hassle and a big pain I know..

but your big kids now and u can figure out how to change your link..


Sunday, February 01, 2009

busting at the seams

So my daughter had her birthday. We had the usual shannagins like cake, rodents and aliens.

You can not go wrong with any of those features.

Blondie named her rodents Linda and Annie. Annie though appears to be handicap, or to be politically correct I will call her handicape-able.

She can not use her back legs much at all. My poor dear daughter tells me she is worried about ole Annie, and that maybe we should take her back to the store.

I told her we can not just toss her aside because she can not walk to her food or her water, she needs to bottle feed that damn hamster like a good momma would.

Seriously though, I am not sure whats wrong with it. I did notice when I brought them home that the smaller one had some hind quarter troubles, but I thought maybe it was my imagination.

Turns out its not.

My daughter is convinced Annie will die soon.

And since Annie bit her, she kinda wants her too.

We will see..if Annie goes to the big wheel in the sky, I will go replace her with a newer version of whose hind quarters can move.

Don't be needin no special needs hamster.

We went to a place called Space Aliens for her birthday, wanna see some pics?

I thought so.

See what it says? It says Bar from Mars...that made me giggle.

There is my mom and Blondie..

Please don't make a crack about my hair or my spectacles...I had to get new glasses, as I have suffered permanent eye damage and can not wear contacts right now.

Here are Linda and Annie..our special needs one is the smaller one..

lets take a moment of silence and say a prayer that Annie can over come her handicap. I hate to think I need to hold some sort of a benefit dinner for her..ya no to cover costs of a hamster wheel chair or phsycial therapy.

So this concludes our birthday wrap up.
Good day..
I said good day!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Blondes have more fun

I sometimes wonder what I am thinking when i do certain things. Like cut my hair, buy a slutty bra, or have babies.

Sure when you have your first baby, its kind of trial and error. Everything is new and you are just blown away daily by the shit that fills up the diaper..what baby can produce so much fecal matter?

You learn to deal with it..then when they are potty trained you still continue to wipe the ass because they just can not get the hang of it and tend to leave skid marks in their spider-man underoo's.

Then you think its a wise idea to add one more baby to that, because handling toddler fecal matter and infant fecal matter is just something one thinks they can handle all at once.

Almost nine years ago I did just that. I added another baby to the well established one I had already.

When you have one wizzing in the crapper and that can put his own underwear on and feed himself, even though u still have ass wiping to do, you are pretty much free and clear of all things baby.

Yet, most of us go do that silly thing and have relations with no means of sperm control.

My middle baby was not only my biggest one to push forth, but she was also my worst sleeper, had jaundice the worst, and was talking in full sentces by 9 months which means I have been listening to her babble now non stop for many years.

She sure was the fugliest looking baby I had seen up to that point. I had pushed her out so fast her face was bruised.

After 24 hours her troll like appreance turned into something specail.

She morphed overnite into a beauty.

Sure, all moms think their daughters are pretty, trust me I know.

She is not only a knock out in her appreance, she truly has something that makes me want to be a better person..It does not work alot, but the fact she harbors that for me is a good thing.

She wants to be a vet when she grows up, and she wants to live on a farm and grow corn and have cows and horses.

My baby girl has the bluest eyes, and the brightest smile...nothing like her mother.

I think thats what so specail about her, she is nothing like me. And I am greatful for that.

We look alike, but she will grow up to be a much better person that I could ever dream of being.

It makes me proud, yet it also makes me angry.

I look at her and see me when i was nine years old, and she outshines me by 100 miles.

She gets mad at me for yelling at the dog. She loves to do the dishes, but she hates to clean her room.

On the weekend if her and Boo get up early, she will make Boo breakfast all on her own..

I never wanted kids when i was a younger. In fact, other peoples kids drove me nuts..

still do...

Blonde excels in school, has had boys wanting to marry her since pre school, and is a world class althete...i say that because she kicks my ass at all the Wii games, plus she can run circles around a fuckin cheeta.

So here is my girl, who will turn one year older on Super Bowl Sunday..

I am now going to show some older pics of her, just because I can..

Thats her on the ferris wheel at the Mall of America when she was 4.

this is her learning to ride a bike when she was 5.

just chilling in the grass on a hot summer day.

Anyway, my kid is having a birthday and well...I am just telling u..

Wanna know what I got her?

She does not know yet, and these bitches are camping out in my room till the weekend.

cause im a cool mom and shit..

there is Boo posing with them...
a bought a couple of rodants...
thats what cool hip moms do..
So happy birthday to my 9 year old baby girl..
Somewhere there is a pile of manure with her name on it.
(cause she wants to be a farmer and a vet, not because I think she is shitty)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Center of balance

My life is in shrambles. Is that even a word? I don't know, if its not, I am copy writing that bitch.

At least the weather is starting to look up, a little. I thought I saw the sun one day, but that could of been a momentary lapse of reason or some other medical malfunction.

I went and bought a Wii and Wii Fit over the weekend. Like I don't spend enough time doing physical activity. Between the 3 hours a day I spend at the gym, the hours I spend chasing the animals and my 5 year old, and my personal best which is done under lock and key in my nice king size bed, but thats another story..

According to this Wii Fit thing, I am 44 years old, simply because I can not maintain a good center of balance. how do they know I don't suffer from some sort of balance disorder, and them telling me I am 44 just set me off to the roof top. Do they care?

I'm thinking not.

I masted a couple of the activities, like Hoola Hoops..( I have some hot hip action, don't be hatin).

I rather like the bowling. The Hubs and I were playing and I swear to God he puts such force in his throw u swear he is holding a 20 pound ball. I tell him that he needs to take it easy before he pulls something. You are indeed not really holding a ball my dear, so back off before you clock me in the face.

I kicked his ass at tennis, bowling and of course, the hoola hoops. I am that good.

Ok, I have another gym story, I know how you guys love that shit, and I like to deliver. I am a people pleaser.

So I am at the gym, and this really nice looking guy is on the bike.(i dont know why all the crazies are good looking)just come off of my 45 minute run on the treadmill and am heading towards the bikes for a 20 minute ride..

All the good stuff happens at the bike area, I have noticed that.

Anyway, he has a remote and is surfing, and we all know I hate surfing. he lands on one of those religious channels. thats all fine and good, I don't care, I don't watch anyway..

After a while I think I start hearing things from his mouth, but since my Ipod is up kinda loud, I am not sure. So I turn it down a bit so I can listen.

Sure enough, its what I thought I heard..

"hallelujah"..Praise Jesus"

Yup, out loud, in the gym.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, it was just kinda distracting...because the only person who knew he was watching that was me..cause you can not hear it unless you are wearing the ear plugs for the tv..

before too long he is shouting to the Lord Almighty and praising his works..

while biking.

We both got done around the same time, when he was done I walked by him to get the spray to clean off my bike..we meet at the paper towel station.

He says..

" nothing like a good workout with the Lord"

"yup, sure enough,,shalom my friend"

He says..

"right on sexy"

so we go from praising Jesus, to sexual harassment.

And I liked it.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

ice age

This week has been for shit. Am I allowed to say that or will they bleep it out?

Its been a bitter cold week. They delayed school Monday, they cancelled school today. Its 30 below zero right now and with the wind its about 50 below. I know, don't be hatin on me, you could have this too if you really wanted it.

Lets see, what can I complain about today? I am sure I can think of something.

Since my mom moved in, my mood seems to be a tad, well, shitty. I know we had no choice but to let her stay here, not like I could let her live in a van down by the river. Because she does not have a van. And we have no river, just a lake.

She is constantly whistling and eating. We could eat a 12 course meal, that I prepared of course, and ten minutes after we eat, she is digging thru my house looking for more food. She reminds me of some sort of wildebeest out in the savanna, not knowing when its next meal will come, so it eats any meal it finds, hoping it wont be its last, but just in case it is, they will die satisfied.

i have been going to the gym alot because being in my own house is making me want to beat things.

While I was at the gym the other day a fairly nice looking man got on an piece of equipment next to me. He looked to be in his late 40's early 50's..Looked reasonable enough, like a smart fella. Maybe played t-ball and was a boy scout.

There are tv's all over the gym, in front of all the machines, I never grab a remote and ear pieces because I bring my Ipod, and thats all a woman needs. But I do tend to read lips or read the closed captioning of the shows they are watching.

This man was channel surfing, which in itself was annoying. First we were watching something about a horse stud service or something, the stud was paid 150,000 to screw a lady horse..I'm thinking, holy toots.

Then he landed on a channel and left it there.

For brief moment I thought I was being hurled into some violent time warp that sucked me back home..where Idid not want to be.

He was watching the Disney Channel.

Now granted, Hannah Montana and The Suite life of Zach and Cody are good shows, if your between the ages of 5 and 12, but mother of God, I knew right then he must be one of those who rode the short bus..

I kept looking at him, looking at the tv, then looking at him again.

He says.."do u mind if I have this on?"

Me, is he talking me?..Why would I care what this man who is obviously still breastfeeding watches?

I told him watch what he wants, and that I found it funny he watches the same think I thought my 5 year old was watching at this very minute.

This was him..

" great, i love this episode"

what a douche bag.

I tried picturing my dad at a gym, channel surfing..Because the guy looked about my dads age.

I could picture my dad landing on the news, the golf channel, or hell, the playboy channel.

I could tell this was a very sick man. The kind that follows kids around asking them what happen on Drake and Josh last night because he missed it because he had some sort of board meeting that ran late.

I should of asked for his number.

What else?

its cold out...did I say that already?

crap I think I did.

Well, if my car starts I'm just gonna go to the gym right now.

My mom is whistling, my son is playing with army guys and making shooting sounds, my girls are watching a movie and giggling, the dog is barking, oh wait, now mom is in the cupboard I can here bags restling is hungry again...

I'm outta here.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

we're not gonna take it

I will make this short and sweet, as to save you time on reading worthless crap.

I am so damn stressed out right now, I cant even think straight. I have been spending more time then I should at the gym, just to get out of this house before there is bloodshed of any kind.

My 5 year old never stops talking, even in the bathroom she talks when she is sleeping she talks.. it never ends, My nearly 12 year doesn't stop fixing his hair and sassing me, my almost 9 year old wont stop being cute, my mother wont stop eating, and my hubs wont put the dishes away.

My dog wont stop barking to go outside, she likes to play in the snow, my cat wont stay off my pillow at night.

Its everyone in this damn house. They are all killing me slowly.

I know when its my time to go its my time to I am prepared.

The year that was suppose to put me first for once, is turning into being the fucking opposite.

And its wearing on whats left of my nerves. Every year I am shoved to the side, because I make sure everyone else is ok and taken care of..I take care of people who don't even live in my house for Gods sake.

I give up...

And I just don't feel close to any of my friends anymore. Hell I don't even call them anymore, or have the need/want to.

Most of my friends only want to talk about themselves, and never ask about whats going on with me...and I never tell them, cause they never ask. Its all about them.

I am drained.

Over the years this has wore me down.

This is me..I am wore down.

Thats all I got.

Monday, January 05, 2009

the living years

Last night I had the tv on, because I am not of Amish decent and I do require an electronic feed at all times, it keeps my heart in rhythm.

There was a movie on HBO that I have seen, and I hate it. I hate it because it makes me sad, depressed and hypertensive..(that means gives me high blood pressure for u non Internet medical degree holders), yet I watched it anyway, knowing full well what was going to happen to me.

Not only did I have the shittiest dreams, but now I have all sorts of things I think I need to do before the big day gets here.

What big day am I referring to you ask?..

My demise.

Yes folks, I need to stop watching the damn movie The Bucket List before I end up doing random acts of kindness to strangers or heck, adopt an orphan.

It does get me thinking of shit I would like to accomplish or do before that tragic day shall arise.

I was thinking maybe I should try and do some more traveling, something more scenic then a trip to Michigan or New Mexico...

I am thinking somewhere like Ethiopia, and maybe kill two birds with one stone and bring home a car full of tots that need some oatmeal and a kool aide juice box.

I would also like to attend a black tie affair..Never in my life have I even been invited to such an event. I want to go and show up with a red tie..

I would like to have enough money to purchase a helicopter..I don't know where i would store such a mode of transportation, but I just think it would be nice to say I had one.

I would like to set up arranged marriages for my tots, so they don't end up with losers I need to put a hit out on. I see nothing wrong with an arranged marriage, look how well it works out for all those cults in Utah. They all seem on the up and up.

I don't want to do anything boring like jump out of planes or see the great wall of china..I want to do bigger and better things.

Like own a copter, cause whats cooler then that?

Anyway. enough of that...

I forgot to give you the horrid facts last post, so i will give u a double dose today, cause I like to play fair and nice.

*Cockroaches can make themselves super-slim and can flatten their bodies to a size just a little thicker than a piece of paper to crawl into cracks.

*An American Delicacy called Headcheese is made by cooking a whole cow or pig head into a mush and letting it coll down into a jelly like state.

*A smelly fart contains the same gas as found in rotten eggs

*when you sneeze,all your body functions stop-even your heart stops beating. A very long sneezing fit and cause a heart attack.

There you go...

enjoy...happy sneezing.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Love Bizzare

So the new year is off with a deafening bang, wouldn't y'all say? Yes, yes I sure would. That ringing in your ears, that's not a remnant of your drunken stooper from new Years eve, thats the new year trying to get into the depths of your conscience. Is it working?

So far this year I have managed to not break any resolutions, because i am just that good. I have went to the gym nearly everyday and have managed to not do any bodily harm to anyone..yet.

Don't get me wrong I know its only like day 4, but this is big stuff here.

Let me ask you smart, educated humans a question..Is it wrong I wont let my tots go out and play when its 4 below zero? I see the neighbor kids out, even sledding down OUR hill, and yet I wont let my own heathens out of doors unless its at least 20 degrees. Now when I was a kid, the cold never bothered me as it does not my tots..BUT Michigan winters are much warmer then a hearty Minnesota winter.

When the air temperature is anything below zero, why do u let tots outside? Do you want their poor defenseless bodies to end up in a frozen tundra or a frost bitten mess?

Nancy Grace would have a field day with that shit right there.

And while my kids are at school they are forced to go out for recess unless the air temp is 20 below...Holy toots know.

I have my own written rule for my kids at the school..If its so cold the mucus freezes in my eye while I am out getting the mail, my tots stay indoors for recess and do things like read, scrub toilets or grade papers.

I just don't see the point in it..going out doors when its that cold. Frankly I don't understand how people in Alaska function. One of my daughters friends just moved there this summer, and during the day, not only is there no sunshine hardly, but the high temps are around 35 below zero.

To that I say?


How do u function? Is work AND school cancelled for everyone? One day it was 56 below zero there, sure it got that cold here about 2 years ago, and they did not shut anything down but my good mood. Here I think its bad when its 20 below, I just am not sure I can handle it any colder then that, cause well, I am a wuss.

I got my hair highlighted yesterday...just thought I would let u know.

What else?..

Oh, yes...the hubs is having another one of his "episodes"..they come and go and I never mention anything about them, cause well, not like you really care..But each time they come back they are worse..

Now its effecting his speech, his facial muscles, and he says he feels like he sometimes has needles in his ass..

I'm just sayin..

I took him to the doctor the other day and they are sending him out again, it didn't do much good last time, so who knows.

Where the hell is Dr.House when u need him? Sometimes a good jackass comes in handy.

I'm just sayin.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

New Sensation

So, I thought I would wake up today and feel something...besides a hangover, but I feel nothing..not even a hangover.
I was glad to see 2008 leave, as I feel as though it was a very bad year. Not in the sense that I lost any loved ones, or hell that I lost anything, but shit loads of money, but thats neither here nor there..

I just wanted to wake up and feel something. For the last several weeks I thought for sure that 2009 would be my year, I could just feel it.

Alas, I feel nothing.

I know you have to make your own luck and your own happiness, yes yes, I know that. I was just hoping for something to fall out of the sky, land on my face, lick me, and call me George.
So far, it has been a quiet start to the new year.

I do however want to make some changes this year...and sure I will indulge you with some of them, because that's how I roll.
* First up, I want to change my attitude as I tend to have a shitty one, and I know this. But really how do you change something you were born with. And God wants me to be a bitch, and I don't know why.
*Next, I want to make more time for myself..I do not want to do things just to please others..I will no longer take "vacations" to my homeland, because frankly, its like a waste of a vacation. No one else takes a vacation here, so why do I need to go there?..I don't..My kids will go on a real vacation this year..damnit.

although I am going in June for my class reunion, my 16th year reunion, don't ask..But if it was not for that event, we would not be going at all.

*I want to hit the gym at least 4 days a week...maybe 8 days a week..I don't know, we will see how tired I get.
* I would love this year to get a boob job, a nose job and lipo on my ankles..

I don't foresee me succeeding at any of this..So that right there lets you all know I have a bleak start.

Lets talk about Christmas shall we?...One good thing did transpire, my FIL did not come..I did not ask why, because frankly we were both so relieved that we did not care..

Lets see, what else..
Oh I did get my very own karaoke machine..yes yes...I did..

I will just shower you with a couple shots..

See. I did not drag the fuckin tree out to the road like I wanted..but when I set it back up after its fall, I just threw all the crap on it, at this point I was so not in a holiday mood I coulda gave a crap less..and it shows.

The mess afterward...and we all know this bitch has messes.
We will fast forward to New Years, because truthfully, there is not much to report on from xmas day till now..

Other then my hubs has been home since Xmas Eve, and it makes me wonder how when we both hit retirement age, how i will not kill him when we are forced to be together all day everyday..

I'm just sayin..

Anyway, on to New Years..I had a small gathering at my dwelling with a couple close pals and my lovely personality.

My boy and my boo..

My boy and my Blondie

Pale Girl with my girl tots and my mother on her lap...

We broke out the DDR and here is Hubs doin his best to get some sort of grove on, my mother is on the couch watching..

See. who says white boys cant dance?...see me, I am planted firmly on the couch with my friend barb..right where we should be...we are not making asses of ourselves.

There is my Boo and Pale Girls man and his big ass dog..

Look all my babies are tuckered out..wussies.
The night was pretty dull, I really did no drinking, was in a bad mood and was super tired..One thing that did happen though, when hubs and I went up to bed, my son came running up asking if we were moving furniture.
And NO we were not naked and doing anything X rated...
The boy said he heard some loud noises so he went down to check it out..
When the hubs got downstairs he looked out our side window and there was a man in our yard walking away from the door and our garage door was open.
So of course this bitch could not sleep after that because holy shit, a level 3 sex offender just moved to town and I was sure it musta been him wanting to get his rapist hands on me because he musta seen me outside or somewhere and thought maybe he needed to tap that.
But I do know, because I do have inside info at the jail, that he is under constant supervision and is living at the jail and is only let out 4 hours a day and that is to find a job, and if this fucker gets a job before I do, holy shit I will foam at the mouth.
But a level 3 sex offender is someone who they are sure will strike again and this is why they keep a watchful eye on them.
I have heard he is not a pedophile, but rather he likes to rape women..
Now try and go to sleep after a strange man is in your yard and there is a sex offender on the loose..
Sweet Dreams assholes..
Oh and my finger..
I sliced it open on a piece of glass from a picture frame..sliced the bitch wide open and even sliced thru my digital nerve so now I have no feeling in that finger.
I had three stitches put in, they are out now and all is well..
This is a special bonus we will be doing from here on out...Blondie got this book for Xmas, its called 1001 horrid but true facts, and I thought for shits and giggles I would post two facts per post..
it will take us years to get thru it, but hell, all I have is time.
*the stomach acid in your stomach is so strong it can dissolve razor blades, but its still not a good idea to eat them.
*A beef tapeworm,caught from eating eggs in infected beef, can grow to 39 feet long in the human gut.