Tuesday, February 28, 2006

My future cell mate

here are some pics to go with the previous post..These were taken today after her nap..

this is her eating her lunch...She does not care she has jelly on her top and that she has crusty boogers in her hair and dried to her face...She may be beautiful but she isn't vain people..

that's right suckas, I can drink from a big cup, but I still crap in a diaper.....

yes she is wearing a robe, her sisters robe..And why? cuz she wanted too that's why..

So this is the reason for my future prison record.......

I wont be posting again till after BillboBaggins appointment tomorrow afternoon..Not much to report on....

Just remember you saw this mug shot here first..mmkay?

Bee Real

I have "sucker" taped on my head ...

I did a few things I swear I would never do. One being I did some "monkeying around" on my Myspace.com account. I have had it for over a year and never touched it. Well yesterday I broke my vow of a myspace/com -less life..Dang it all to heck..

Then my cute little Baby Boo refuses to eat what I make for dinner. I spent a better part of the day whipeingleaking snot from her nose and meeting all her daily demands, yet she wont eat her dang pork chop..We finally got her to put a piece in her mouth..I kid you not, this baby chewed one piece for over a half hour...She would not swallow it..

After 45 minutes of fighting I told her she was going to go hungry then. She got up from the table and as one of her siblings would walk be she would say in her most pathtic voice " look, look I am crying" and when they would they would not pay attention to her pathtic advances for attention she would say " Look, Look see see see see see see I crying"

oh brother..........

I then go back on my word of making her self proclaimed hunger strike a success..I say " you want some cheerios?"

" yes momma, cheerios ppeeeese"

I put the bowl in front of her.." Tank choo momma"

I swear this kid could talk me into a bank robbery..

I then make a run to the store..And around every corner there was a man saying "hello"....Ok I know my hair is mess, I am wearing workout pants and probably stink like sweat mixed with snot.....Are there really men out there that desperate?

Bee Real

Monday, February 27, 2006

Some revelations......

Besides being sick outtamymind over the weekend, much thought has come from my very narrow mind.

First thing is that Blondie Bee will stuff bacon in her pocket britches if your not watching her.

Boo Bee will build the same block tower over and over and over again with the same result..Her knocking it over and busting her belly open laughing her britches off.

Butch Bee can behave in church....It really can happen..

And eating chili one day out of your heaving episodes is not a good thing...No matter how good it smells.

I think I have the upper hand on the fat now. With three days of anorexia and belumia, I think I am one up on the fat battle. Although Suzie tells me my teeth will rot out if I puke to much, I may be willing to risk it...

Welcome to my soap opera.....Here is the weekend synopsis...

BilboBaggins lies to his wife Bossy Britches when she asks what he is eating he replies "soup" at further review Bossy realizes its ice cream and ginger ale.

The worker Bees fight feverishly over who will take care of their ailing mother and parksinson's ridden father.

Bossy had decided to pop in a tape of her lover. Then the little worker Bees come in and she decide that watching Purple Rain is not the best idea, so we end up watching BIG with Tom Hanks....What a let down, her lover was very disappointed...

Will BilboBaggins find out about Bossy's lover?....TO BE CONTINUED>>>>

I have decided that having nearly 3000 square feet of living space is not good if you hate cleaning it....No wonder I get ill. You try keeping 3 bathrooms, 2 living rooms, 4 bedrooms, one dining room, one kitchen all clean...Ok, I don't keep all of it clean, but I really need to downsize...The bigger house you have, the more you have to clean people........This is never a good idea, no matter how much you think it sounds good at the time....Trust me..

Ok enough bickering...

Bee Real

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Dang it all

ok, I think I have been found out. I am stopping for now. It seems I can not have any damn privacy. How the hell do they find me? I do not get it...Its like a bunch of stalkers.

I may have to start becoming that soap writer I was talking about....

Dang, not only have I barfed all day, and now Blondie is sick..But I also need to file a restraining order...If anyone knows how to block an IP address, please tell me...

I am going to do a little more investigating too make for certain its them. But I feel violated once again.If I did not give you this address, that means I did not want you here.

Thanks once again for ruining it.

It seems the BWPP (blogger witnesses protection program) is flawed....

I need to go lay down, I am too sick to care right now....

Bee Real

Spewing forth liquids

crap. Not literally. That would be puke.

I am ill today, spewing forth contents from my digestive track...I never get the pukes....Unless I am knocked up..But I am not..I know this for a fact.

Something makes me think I need to find my fact checker. No I am not...Just because a lady spews forth bile from her digestive tract DOES NOT MEAN she is knocked up...

Ok folks...?

Just means I am sick, although I do not feel sick other than than I want to vomit all over...Ok now that I left you with that visual, I will leave you now...

Bee Real

Friday, February 24, 2006

Sometimes I am smarter than a Dr

BilboBaggins went to see the doc today. mind you this is the same doc who tried to give me a pap test when I was there for sleeping pills, and also gave me unwanted birthcontrol..Ok moving on..

The "doc' told him that his jerking is a symptom of something, but not sure what it is...oh you don't say..Ok I coulda told ya that....

Could be signs of Parkinsons, ALS, muscular diease...blah blah blah...All the crap I already knew..

The doc also told him he should not drive anymore till his jerking stops, and he drives over an hour one way to work..But the meds he gave him to help stop the jerking are tranqulizres and barbituates....Yes its much better to drive under the influence of a tranquilizer than jerkiness...

He goes to a neurologist on Wednesday...Hopefully this guy/gal isn't such a Moran.

I hate dealing with morans..

Be Real

* i will be delating the passowrd page Saturday..for those of you who use it and dont know my direct link its wherethebeesare.blogspot....I thinkthe folks I am trying to keep away know they arent getting in and I am sure they wont find me..so you can use the direct link to come..no more passwords..cuz I am cool like that

Bee Real

I was this close to having it all.......

So remember how I was telling you about The purple one coming to town and NO I do not mean Barney.....Well I did some looking today and there were tickets available still.....I about wet myself...The one spot I looked the tickets were $220 a piece. I thought no way, cant be..So I went to Ticketmaster and they had some for 50 bucks a piece...

So I talked with Bilbobaggins and he was like well if you really wanna go..go ahead and get them.. So then I need to track down firehotgranny to see if she can watch the kids...By the time I get ahold of her..Guess what.....no freaking tickets left..I even called the theater and then ticketmaster just to make sure....They said in the last half hour they had completely sold out...

just take my heart and stomp on it......All it does it pump blood thru my now lifeless carcass

So now I am really to mad to even talk about it....

Bilbo's shakes are pretty bad today....Now his one side will tense right up and the muscle wont relax...I think they better just put him down..

Bee Real

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Holy cowlickers

So I have been noticing that some of my fellow bloggers are hitting milestones on their posts, like 100th post, or even 200th post...I was thinking I was around 300 or so...Then I looked at mine.....Folks this is my 501 post....I have issues, this is very clear to me now....Deep , deep issues..I have only been blogging since May..Ok, I am going to BA , Blogger Annymous..Anyone care to join me?

BilboBaggins (the hubby of almost 11 years) has been wanting pickles lately. I keep asking him if he is pregnant, and he keeps denying it....Then the other day he emails me from work telling me he wants taco salad for dinner, then says "the baby must be Mexican"

well you have some explaining to do mister...

Bilbobaggins is having some issues....And me being the doctor I am, have diagnosed him with Parkisnons disease. He will tremble and shake uncontrollably..And it has been very bad the last 2 days....It has been going on for about 10 years now, but very subtle..He goes Friday to the Dr...

he asked when I had my appointment because we should tell the kids at the same time that I have cancer and he has Parkinsons...Are we messed up or what?

My little baby Boo has decided she no longer needs to eat to sustain life. Well unless I am going to feed her spaghetti O's, fruit snacks, apples, grapes,chicken nuggets, spaghetti or cheez its....

Im cool with that....

Editors note for all you American Idol watcher...I heart Ace..


Bee Real

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Fancy that will ya

Where to start. Ok first of all I have give up on worrying about unwanted folks here. If I see the unwanted guest are back, I will just start giving them good fiction to gossip about. I have always wanted to be a soap opera writer.

So by using my better judgment I refrained from choir practice last night. Butch asked me why I wasn't going, I told him "well you don't think I am a good singer anyway." and he says " well, you sing good when you are singing with a group of people who can sing".....

Now what the heck does that mean?

Mr.Bilbobaggins and I still went out for our weekly date night. We went to the local hot spot, if you want to call it that, and across from us was a group of folks enjoying a dinner out. The grown man sitting in the booth lifted up one of his butt cheeks and let one rip...Loudly...In p u b l i c ...Is this normal?

Now back to American Idol....They all sucked.....But the first gal who sang...She is a bigger gal, but man she was amazing.....And if I would of went to choir and did my "mediocre" belting of the church songs, I would of totally missed it..

Oh guess what?..That's what...Ok just kidding....

My local news sucked me in with a story..The preview was " the purple one doing one night only this Saturday in Minneapolis"

come again....Huh...Did you just say that my boyfriend was going to be performing this weekend..In this, his home town?.....

so of course I watched, come to find out the damn show is sold out already....Why did they bother telling me?.....I really hate being lead on and tortured for no reason..

Bee Real

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I am a paranoid freak, yes carry on now

So far everything has been smooth with my move, although I am paranoid they will find me. I looked on my site meter today and see people who I am not sure about..Some are getting the address from an email..Every email I sent I know them, or at least where they live..So I ask who the bloody heck lives in Marissa , Ill, that I sent an email too...I always seen them at the old address, now they are here and I am paranoid..It's getting so bad I want to delete the whole dang thing....

You know its time to stick your kids in a boarding school when BilboBaggins hollars out from the coach to the little bees who are suppose to be going to bed..

"Butch, stop acting like a monkey, "

Then Blondie yells.."Butch, stop acting like a monkey...... Dad , Butch wont stop acting like a monkey"

Then earlier in the day I was snuggling with Boo and I was talking to her, then she takes her tiny little hand, covers my mouth and says "shush momma"

I am suppose to have choir practice tonight, but I told ole BilboBaggins that I may have to take a hiatus from church choir while American Idol is on. I feel so dirty thinking that, I mean what sense does it make? I feel like purging myself of things. But American Idol is the kind television vomit I can spew down easily.

And I mean it is only on for 5 months out of the whole year...Well it sounds reasonable when I am thinking it in my head anyway.

Bee Real

Monday, February 20, 2006

Buns O' Steele

Ok, I hope I have got everyone. Just not the ones I am trying to get rid off....Where the heck is the Blogger Mafia when ya need it anyway?

Yesterday Blondie lost another tooth. I mean it looked as if though some kind of massacre had occurred or maybe even a cheap b horror flick. Poor little Boo saw the red blood and thought it was red juice. Then I had to stop feverishly from her licking up the blood off the counter. Poor baby kept yelling at Blondie " put your tooth back, put your tooth back" then the kid tried to wiggle one of her 2 year old chompers free. She must know that when the teeth start falling that money ends up under your pillow...But really Blondie is going to need some Super Poligrip soon. Poor kid is missing 5 teeth, she kinda looks like she could blend in if she lived in the deep south.

Or a nursing home.

My buns are burning. I have been walking uphill for 40 minutes the last few days on my treadmill. All I can say is walking uphill sucks. But before too long you can bounce a quarter of my backside. Not sure what that means, nor why anyone would want to do it.

Friday it was crazy cold, all day it was negative 35........Now that's some cold wind folks...

Ok I need to thank Melis...At www.onthemindofmelis.blogspot.com for my new look. She is amazing and she is always there if I want to add something. This is the second template she has made for me.....And she rocks and I thank her....

Something bad happen to me Saturday. I was hooking up my Ipod to download a new CD..I was having BilboBaggins help me as I am so completely moronic with technology. Guess what he did on accident? erased my whole collection of musical vomit I had on there.....Everything gone...Wiped out, kinda like an f-5 twister. So guess what I did all day Sunday?...Yup reloading it all..Then I did something wrong and I have each CD on there 3 times...Am I the only fool this crap happens too?

Sorry for all the hoopla here, thank you for following me though, you don't know how much all your comments and feedback mean to me...I just know I forgot someone....

remember I am having short term memory problems..And its getting worse. I wont go into detail but it has to do with my cat, Boo, a litter box, and a pair of socks..Nuf said...

Bee Real.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Thank you everyone for joining is us today

ok, my new template is being custom made by my dear buddy Melis..www.onthemindofmelis.blogspot.com

it should be done tonight sometime..I have not had a chance to go and tell everyone yet, but I am slowly getting around to it....Please bare with me, I wont be posting a real post till after my template is finished....If you know someone I did not tell yet, you can gave them the password...And make sure you tell them not to call me by my old blogging name anymore....afterall..I am the boss..:)

thanks for following me thru the awful stupid journey...Its just some things I only want to share with certain people....ya no?

I am going to spend the day telling everyone.....If I don't have their email its gonna be a pain...But I will figure something out..

thank for standing by, and sticking with me..Love to you all:)


Friday, February 17, 2006

Girl interrupted

ok, I know , I hate posting more than once in a 24 hour period.

You know the saying " keep your friends close, and your enemies closer"?..Well that is good in theory. But I have decided that some people just do not deserve to read about the happenings here in my family. I have thought long and hard about it....Maybe too long and too hard...And I realize it is really not that big of a deal...But I do feel violated and a bit betrayed..

My good friend Melis www.onthemindofmelis.blogspot.com is making me a new template and I am changing the name here as well as my blogging name. It just is not worth it to me to have the beasts lurking over my shoulder and running back and talking about it all to everyone and their inbred brother.

This will more than likey be my last post here. Please send me an email if I do not have your email address....I don't want to lose any of my closest blogging friends. Most of you are better friends than my real friends.

I do not want to leave my address in your comment section, it is too easy to find people that way..

I am entering the BWPP....blogging witness protection program...

If I find that the party in question has some how found me..I will have to kill them, that's all there is too it....

Do they let you blog from prison?..Just wondering..


I am full of something....

**note...I decided I am changing the name of my blog along with its address...if i do not have your email, please send me a note so I can inform you of the changes...I will be changing my name as well...not legally of course, but I am not going to give the adresss out on your blogs..too risky..**

The last few weeks something odd has been happening here, in my house. It seems I am full of electricity. One day last week I went to answer my phone, and I literally had a charge go thru me that actually knocked the power out of my phone. I thought I was being electrocuted. It was painful. And it happened all day yesterday. I did not knock the power out of my phone, but there was a freaking lightning bolt that went from my fingertips to my phone set. I think I heard thunder and The count going " ha ha ha"....Does anyone know why I am so full of shockyness?..

another thing I did yesterday was decide to put on my mint julep deep cleansing mask. I like to put it on before I go tanning, so my face is really clean. Normally I do this before my shower or bath, so Toddler spawn has never seen me wear it. But yesterday I did it in the middle of the day, for no reason other than I wanted too.

I walk out of the bathroom with my invigorating mask on my face. As soon as toddler spawn sees me, she says with fright " momma, momma, no momma" and she backs away from me. She than runs to the couch and hides under a pillow. At this moment I am praying no one comes to my door, as I may frighten them. Then my dog wanted to go out..No way on God's green Earth am I opening this door under any cirumstances....Piss yourself dog..Sorry..

So I try to go cuddle up with the toddler and she refuses to look at me. She then says " green momma,yucky....Momma ghost"....Then I realize this is what I look like to her.

and that is a pretty close depiction.

I have a question. I was watching Oprah yesterday and it was about some ridiculous show where they turn white people black and black people white for 6 weeks..Really stupid concept I know...But what really pissed me off is the fact there was a scroll on the bottom of the screen warning us of the "graphic content" and "graphic nature" of the program, even before the show started there was a huge disclaimer...

So my question is....Why the heck is there a disclaimer on this show....But not a warning on a show that aired 2 days ago about a teenage boy who masturbated on his webcam for money, or when they talk about graphic sex topics. Are we so numb by the crap that airs on TV that openly talking about oral sex or forms other sexual subjects are non offensive to us anymore?...I for one am offended....And I am down right pissed off....

Our high tempature for today is negative 4....Yes that is -4 degrees F...That is the HIGH...The low is suppose to -15....Yes that is negative 15.....Anyone wanna come over for a visit today?

this is our weather alert for today


don't you feel a lot better about your life now?

I have been thinking of switching websites..Going to something with a password for a while..I have looked at MySpace.com but it just seems way to juvenile for me..Too many glittery things and changing colors...It is kind of like a bad acid trip..(not that I know anything about that)..I have about 10 blogs I read there....And they give me a headache every darn time...But they are ones I have been reading for over a year now..Even before I birthed this piece of crap...So I don't want to go there..If I was a teenage girl looking for glittery butterflies or to hook up with friends cuz I am a megga loser and cant make them at school, then it would be wonderful..So if anyone has any ideas on that, lettme know..mmkay?

Gonna go bury my head in an electric blankie with my long johns...Anyone care to join me?


Thursday, February 16, 2006

I think I got worms again

Old Mother Hen and I went to Applebee's last night. Again I asked for my steak medium well, and again I got animal flesh with blood dripping from it. And again, I got a stomach ache..One of these days I am going to stop eating there....Well not till after the Three course combo is finished..

I spent all day yesterday trying to get my toddler Spawn to go piddle in the potty. I would take her in every 15 minutes, set her on her cute little toilet seat that nicely fits over the gaping whole mt butt fits on..She would sit there kicking her little legs back forth talking herself. I would say " go pee" and she would say " P P P momma..P QRS..."

Then I would have her come in when I had to pee, and when she heard it trickling in the potty she would clap her hands and say " good job momma"

Its about time I get reconigzed for all the small things I do around here.


I am sorry lately I have not been myself. I am dealing with some issues. Stupid, crazy me went to google and checked the symptoms I have...I have one of two things..an enlarged prostate, or ovarian cancer...I have my fingers crossed its the prostate..

My short term memory thing is pretty bad. It seems my mind is always very muddled..no, normally it isn't, but thanks for asking. I forget the damnest crap and I feel like I can not focus. Yesterday I went to my laundry room to start my normal wash..I always toss my clothes in a pile next to the washer, then start the washer and throw the clothes in...Today when I went to switch the clothes to dryer, I saw I had not even put the clothes in the washer, they were still on the floor...Its small things like that, that I am having trouble with...Forgetting stupid things..

I am looking for a good nursing home right now......

But I will be going to the doctor next week.....I am in too much pain not too...So this is why I may not seem like my perky little self..Although nothing on me has been perky since 1996..


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Post love day crap

So I hope everyone had a good Love Day. And I hope everyone took my advice and used protection.

We had a nice Valentines day, although I feel bad because I did not get the husband anything, when he got us all stuff. But hopefully he knows I have no job which equals no money.

Although Meltdown spawn told me today on the way tp Ti Kwan Do that his school has a lach key program for kids whose parents have to work late. So he said there should be no reason I can not get a job now.

Not sure why this kid is trying to get me a job, but he seems to want me to find a job more than the husband. Or maybe they are in cahoots with eachother, not sure...

Yesterday morning when Toddler Spawn spotted her heart with m&m's inside, she refused to eat her Lucky Charms...She wanted her candy. Being it was a stinking holiday, and being she is so cute, and being the good momma I am...My baby had m&m's for breakfast...

I mean the chocolate has milk in it...HELLO...Its all good people..At least I am not forgetting to feed her...

Suzie had asked if my hubby would write stuff he likes about me, in response to what I wrote yesterday. So hold on, I am going to ask him....I can not promise anything, he is sitting here on the couch with his eyes shut...I will be right back, hold on...

Nope, he wont do it.....alrighty then...Moving along..

I could make up crap he said, but why bother...

I have figured out what's wrong with me......I am nocturnal. I think I may be a sloth....They are slow, they are fat, and they like to sleep during the day...I will show you what I look like..

It looks happy doesn't it?.....I better find out what they eat....If its bugs, I may need to rethink it and become a Koala Bear....

Well this slow, tired lil sloth is signing off for the day....Happy Hump day...


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I made you a love day card

Well folks, get your chocolates and teddy's out, cuz its freaking valentines Day people...And because I wuv you, I made you a card....I know it may be the only card some of you get..

I know you can not read it well, for some reason I could not focus on it...But all your names are there..I hope I didn't forget anyone, if I did I am sorry, and I will explain why I may have forget in a second..

So Happy Valentines Day bloggers...Remember use protection:)


Since I am too cheap to buy a card for the husband, I will now list reasons why he is a good valentine...Ok...ya ready?

1. He lets me control the television every night

2. He makes cakes with Meg Ryan spawn with her Easy Bake Oven

3. He gets up with the kids on Saturday morning and lets me sleep

4. He lets me have my way on most everything

5. He goes and buys female products for me. I swear since I started my period I don't think I have ever bought a box of tampons...Why is that?..Every lady has her period....Yes makes no dang sense I know..

6. Lets me write whatever I want on here, knowing that it may stir up trouble

7. Has agreed to have the talk with Meltdown spawn, cuz he is a man and such, and isn't going to make me torture myself by making me tell my son about erections and puberty..when the time comes, he is still my baby and I think he has no clue about any of this yet...Poor thing

8.helps give kids baths..oh wait scartch that one..

9. gets toddler spawn ready for her bath getting her undressed than chasing her around so he can get a wipe and wipe the crap off her bottom

10. he didnt tell me lose weight when i was a hefty 215 pounds months after I had Meg Ryan spawn.....and still doesnt give me a hard time about being morbidly obsese.

I know, I know...he is all mine ladies.

Ok, I wont go on....I am too tired....But its cheaper than a Hallmark..And we all know I am cheap.


Ok, I am having some short term memory problems. I can not remember anything...Do they make viagra to stimulate your mind? Because I think I am on a downward spiral towards needing 24 hour nursing care and Depends...Any suggestions?


why wont my little Toddler spawn eat her beans , corn, or even her spaghetti o's, but I catch her eating dog food and dish soap? This makes no sense to me. Maybe with my short term memory problem I am just plum forgetting to feed her. Or maybe the dog food and soap taste better than my cooking...That is always a possibility..


Monday, February 13, 2006

I am becoming a vegetarian

I mean this is many different forms. Not only am I wanting to stop eating meat again, but I also am done chewing the fat, if you will. I will stick to rawness. As in veggies and fruits and also emotion.

I try to be very light hearted here, and give a glimpse of my crappy little life to those of you who care. Ok my life really isn't that crappy, if summer would get here I would be all set. But aside from that, I like telling personal stuff, that I thought was between us. The people I let into this world were very "privileged" I don't mean that in the sense that I am all that. I mean it in the sense that I did not trust many folks with the address. Not many family or friends were given this address, and I thought that I had made some good choices on who I gave it out too. I write things here I do not share with people, things that are all in my head, or things that tick me off, or events that happen..If I had wanted everyone to know, I would call them and tell them..mmmakay?

I have come to the descion that I don't even care anymore. I am not going to hide my thoughts or feeling because of one bad apple. I can sleep at night knowing that I am not a gossiper, or out there spreading stuff about other people. Not that anything I write here would be considered gossip or anything, but I do write some stuff here that I have not shared with others..

I will give you an example of something. I talked to my grandma today. My grandpa drove by our old house, ( the one we are renting out) they guy was outside so gramps stops by to talk to him..

this guy told him "I hear a preacher use to live here"

Now my grandpa was all like, huh? Nope no preacher ever lived here. But someone told him my hubby was preacher...Now we all know he is not, and that he is thinking about perusing this in the future. So then I had to explain to my dear ole granny about the whole preacher thing..When I had not told her anything yet...But someone must have read it here, and decided to go spread it around the city limits of Craptown USA...Isn't that sad? My grandma heard a rumor from a story on my blog....Its kind of like passing notes in the 8th grade. So had to tell her that he was just in the thinking stage of this and No he is NOT a preacher yet, she had not missed anything.

I don't care what I write and I have never really censored myself before, but now I think I might have too. Which really ticks me off.But if I want to write about what a useless piece of crap I think my FIL is or how nuts my MIL can be, and how I think my BIL's have totally abanded our family since we moved here...None of them has made one single effort to come visit us since we moved here...Yet my one BIL and his wife make trips to Penn. To see her brother and his wife..But not ONCE have they EVER made mention of coming here..I say screw them all...SO someone please go spread it around...I know your dyeing too..I will be sure not to call your kids on their birthdays or to send out a card on time...Just paying it forward people....I am so damn sick of being the only one who tries to keep in touch. I am done.

Hubby talks with his one brother regularly, not real talk. Just surface talk. I think it kind of hurts his feelings that he plans trips to Penn and not here..But he would never say anything...Unlike me.

Anyhoo, I am done talking about this. I expect a phone call from someone in the hubbys family right about..

Lets give em something to talk about....Ok lets see...

We have talked about selling all our crap and moving...Just moving away from here. I feel as though I have become too materialistic. We have stuff, too much stuff, and stuff we do not need. Who needs 3 televisions, 2 DVD players, 2 cars, 2 cell phones, 2 houses?...Ok the house I have been trying to get rid of..

I feel as though we are bombarded with crap. I want a simple life. I have always thought I wanted to live in a huge city with a huge home and nice crap....

I now know I want a small home, just big enough for the 5 of us. I would not even mind if I had no phones. Maybe some goats and a nice sunflower plantation in the deep south somewhere...

Of course I will still keep my computer. I mean I do have my standards. My heart may stop pumping blood though out my body if that luxury should dissipate. I am only human folks.


Saturday, February 11, 2006

Violation of my..Whatever

Ok, it has recently come to my attention that people read my blog, who were not invited to read. This causes many issues for me, for one, this is a place where I can write whatever the hell I want and noone blabs there big fat mouths to anyone. If the crap I write here was for all to see, I would take out a page in The New York Times endorsing my site..

The people who come here are friends, most I do not know personally, but have become a huge part of my day and my life. The thing I liked about bloggin was the fact we don't know eachother, and we are all kind of annymous in most ways...

The outside people I gave my address to were people I trusted that would not blab the address and or its contents to the family and everyone else they may know....This is why I started a Family blog....But noone in the family reads the damn thing anyway, guess they are all over here reading crap that is none of their bushiness..

If I did not personally give you my address ( I am talking non bloggers here) then this was a place you were not invited too. There were only 2 members of family and friends that I gave this address too, one being my step mom..And I know she is NOT the culprit..In fact, she is the one I trust most of all, in many ways she is my best friend...

anyway, the point I am getting at is that I feel very violated and I am thinking of closing this down or changing my address again...I realize finding my blog would not be hard if you tried..And I purposely DID NOT give the address to some of the indivauls...The ones I trusted were not to give it out, or to "gossip" about what I write here....I thought this was a place I could vent or goof off a bit and not have to worry about anyone reading it or using it for family gossip hour..

I really hate changing my address again, because I know what a pain it is for those of you that come here...

I may go to a place where it is password safe..And those of you who want the password to read it will get it..But then it is hard to make new blog friends that way..And I enjoy all the new ones I have met over the last few months...

Please give me some advice..Should I change my address again?...I can see I wont write anything personal anymore...And its MY site, and I should be able to write what the heck I feel like....So screw all of you who were not invited to read it anyway..

I will inform you if I change it or quit...Love to you all

I changed my address before because of this....And this time I made dang sure I only gave it out to people I trusted....

what happen in blogland, stays in blogland....Thanks for ruining it assholes...

(sorry for the words, I hate swearing on here, but I am so mad and feel so damn violated)


Bossy Suzie saturday

So this Saturday Suzie has listed some questions she was nosy about, now we ansewer them...

here we go..

What is the most embarrassing noise you have ever made? I dont think I ever make any noises...I am as quite as a mouse....i will not admit ever to any noises that i have or may not have made

* What is the ugliest thing you can think of? it would have to be my BIL with his black teeth and moles on his face that are sprouting hairs...how would you like cuddling up to that ladies, my sister does..hardy har har

* If you were a dog, what kind would you be? a wolf....give me a reason to howl, now when I do it its just plain weird.

* If you have a college degree, what is it in, and what do you actually do for work? well I have done the buety school thing, but didnt do that for long, I have went to college for many things, but have not finished one particualr activity....Lets see, I can start IV's, draw blood, give shots, suture up and cut....anyone need any of these things done.....?

* Have you ever seen a two headed anything? If so, what was it.I think I have seen a two headed snake, but that coulda just been a nightmare.

* Would you rather be 4 feet tall, or have big toes where your thumbs should be? I would rather have big toes where my thumbs should be, and this is beacuse I dont want my kids taller than me. And Big fugly thumbs are easier to hide than being 4 feet tall.

* name the weirdest looking person you have ever seen. SO many..

* Give us a link to what you consider the "funniest post" on your blog. (html please). I dont know how to do that, plus I dont think anything I have wrote has ever been that funny, but at the end of this post i will cut and paste one that is kind of gross...might be funny to some becuase it didnt happen to you..

* Name an animal that you absolutely hate. I dont think I hate any animal, if you talking reptiles and archnids..I hate spiders and snakes...as for 4 legged furry nimals..oh wait..I hate bats.

* The weirdest thing you have ever seen on a blog. (unless it's nasty)?Other than having nakked pics of things, thats about it...I dont usually go to blogs I dont know..

* Estimate how much time you spend blogging each day? Lets see, about one hour in the morning, and about 3 hours in the evening. Is that too much?

* What would make you like/dislike a blog on first impression?Well if the first sentence is funny or intriging in anyway, I like it..I dont much care for curse words, but am willing to overlook it if the rest is good.

* Make up 2 random questions and add them to your list. I can't be expected to think of everything people

what is your favoitre color? it aint easy being green, but I likes it

cant think of anohter one, sorry...

ok here is the entry I was talking about..

i will post it later, gotta run

ok here is the lame post I was talking about..not really funny, but more yucky than anything, like I said..I am not too funny, so here ya go..

Friday, May 27, 2005

Crappy dryer..(literally)
So your never gonna guess what misadveture my life took me yesterday!!...It first started Wednesday night...At about 8:30 pm...My hubby asks me if I would start some laundry..I told him..Are you nuts?...

I did all the laundry today!!...Well apparently he had a stash of his clothes laying on the bathroom floor in our room...(I had not paid much attention when I was in there)..
He stated he did not have any pants to wear for work the next day.(typical man...Waiting till the last minute..Then not even doing it himself!!)...

So I made the treck all the way down to the basement...Grabbed some other dark clothes that had been thrown down the laundry shoot that night,as he didn't have enough for a whole load...

Any hoo....I start the wash...And he put them in the dryer when he woke up the next morning...

When my hubby came upstairs to shave and brush the teeth...I could tell he kept smelling his pants...But I didn't not question anything..Because at 6am..I did not care....I heard him leave bout 10 minutes later...Then bout 5 minutes later..I heard the front door open and him trek upstairs to the bedroom..

He said "I cant wear these pants..They smell like sh*t"..I said no they don't....He's like "yeah they do, smell them".

so he threw his droors at me..I took a wif...And I nearly dropped dead...

I said"..Well I wonder why they smell so weird"..

But he changed his pants (he had to wear his suit pants)...And left...

Well after I had awoken and got the kids ready for school..I went down to start some more laundry...I took those clothes out of the dryer...But as I opened up the dryer door..I was hit with a smell I had never smelled in a dryer before..It was.it was....ohh..It was awful.....

I held my breath and peeked my head inside of the dryer...And melted on the side of MY dryer..Was a big ole turd:-0

I know your thinking how could that happen...Well I do not know...None of the kids will fess up to it....

But I do have a feeling..As a trick of somekind..Whether by God or someone else...I think somehow cat crap was put in there...My laundry shoot basket is right next to her litter box...Maybe when my kitty was doing her scratching a lump of her kitty crap landed in the pants I was about to wash..Not sure though..

But that is the case of my mysterious dryer crap...It is all a big mystery...Needless to say....My new dryer will be here in a few days...I have to hang my clothes on my clothes line in the laundry room now..So it takes about 10 days for a load to dry..!!Oh..Such as life...:-(

there ya go, can anyone top that one?


Friday, February 10, 2006

Truth and lies..And being without straps

answer at the end...

So Suzie tagged me on this one....I may get this wrong but I think I need to list 4 truths and one lie..Or it could be 4 lies and one truth, I dunno I forgot, so I will just go with 4 truth and one lie, and you try and guess which is the lie..mmmkayyy?

1. In 1990 I had 2 members of New Kids on the block call me at home, at a concert I gave a roadie my phone number to give to Donnie, and 2 weeks later, I got call.

2. A girl I went to school with had a family member who was on Judge Judy 6 years ago..The girl was a teenager who had an affair with an attorney , who was married to my second cousin.

3. I once went fishing using corn flakes as bate.

4. I once ate dinner at a very pricey joint , then "went to the bathroom" and skipped out on the $250.00 bill

5. I wrecked the front end of my moms car back in 94 by running into a gas pump, but told her I have no idea how it happened..

Ok, guess what one is a lie..And yes, only ONE is a lie..Hardy har har

OK, so my future step mom has showed me the dress she is thinking about me wearing for the wedding. I am freaking out now..It is a pretty strapless number...

I told her I am kind of freaked out because I worry about the zipper busting and then having my girls make eye contact with the priest, then have him pass out, causing an uproar in the chapel. Or them "popping" out as I am bending over to adjust her train or something..I mean it could happen right?

Or have my duct tape that I will need to use to keep them in an upright position...Become loose and have my goods slopping out over top of the dress....I don't want any unfortunate accidents people..Lives are at stake here...

I have never worn a strapless dress....I have fear of the unknown...

I told her I would see if they have tent fabric as I think I may need a custom order to make sure I am fully covered..

Then she said I am crafty and I should have no trouble whipping up my own dress....This girl needs to learn to respect her elders....Jennifer, remember I am older than you Missy and I can take you over my knee little girl..


oh and my life sucks right now..We just did our taxes..We normally get back about 5,000..This year, we are getting back 155 federal and we owe the state about 2100.....I am moving to Canada cause our government sucks.....Opps did I say that out loud?

most of you guessed right, the dine and ditch is a lie....the rest were all the truth....if you need detailed explinations of the rest, let me know..:)

Thursday, February 09, 2006

My kids need a sitter

As I was taking a much needed break from whatever it is that I do during the day, I wondered where my cute little Toddler spawn wandered off too. She usually will go in her room and play or sit on her sisters bed and look at books, upside down..

Well today I went to go find her and this is what I found in my kitchen..

So I had a mess to clean up. I guess she wanted them floors to be clean enough to eat off from..When I decide to cook dinner that is...


Meltdown spawn asked me yesterday why I did not have a job like dad. I told him my job was to be here and make sure that he and his two sisters were taken care of.

He then says,

" gosh, my wife better have a job when I grow up..She don't need to be sitting around watching Days of Our Lives all day long"

Um son, Days of Our Lives is only on for an hour, Heaven knows I wish it was on all day long..But thanks for noticing the good job I do around here. I just may forget to pack your lunch tomorrow and find you clean underwear ...hows them apples?


Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Because I don't mess with a pregnant lady

My good pal Jd at www.jackdrose.blogspot.com tagged me for 5 weird habits, I am doin it. If you have ever been pregnant or suffered the wrath of a mad pregnant lady, you know what I mean.

I know I have done this one before, but trust me, I have more than 5 weird habits people..Trust me..

1.When I am driving long distances, alone, I crank up my radio and pretend I am in a music video....In the summer I will role the window and down and have the wind messing my hair up..Just like in videos....I once almost hit deer because of this..

2. I must take a shower every morning, but I must also take a bath every night...I do a load of towels about every other day...I like being clean I guess..

3. I have fantasies about eating bucket loads of nachos....And washing it down with cheesecake..I mean when I actually do sleep, I dream about eating this crap..

4. In order for me to fall asleep at night I need to down about 4 tablespoons of Nyquil, one Ambein CR, and sometimes I need to take an over the counter sleep aid bout an hour later...For those of you who can fall asleep easily, thank your lucky stars my friends.. one of these time I will hit the big sleep, if you know what i mean

5. I need to sleep with a fan on. Even when it is 40 below zero, I have to have a fan blowing on me...But yet I hate being cold..I lay in bed sometimes freezing my rump off, but I can not turn the fan off..Nope cant do it..must have fan, must have wind on me, must feel breeze.


We ate like kings again last night....This time I got take out..I may have to break down and cook a meal tonight, I don't want the spawns ratting me out..Little buggers.

Last night I was telling Old Mother Hen about Meg saying she does not like being a woman sometimes..Meltdown spawn says..And I quote

" is it because you don't want to get pregnant?"

what the heck do 9 years know about being pregnant..Must be all the MTV and soda pop..


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

We eat like kings when the master is gone

I forgot to tell you I gave Meg a haircut. Don't panic, I am a professional...Her hair was down to near her rump, and I could see it was getting a little straggly for my taste. So I decided to take matters in my own hands..And here is what happen..

Not too shabby huh? For those of you who are not hip on it, I took about 5 inches from her length and gave her very long layers...There..That will be 30 bucks please. What? You don't have a job? Ok I will be gluing your spiltends back on then..mmmaky?

So hubby is gone to Ohio for a few days. And I am a good mom so this is what I fed my babies last night for dinner.
Meltdown spawn : peanutbutter sandwiches..(this is what he has every night..He has issues)
Meg Ryan spawn: Easy Mac
Toddler spawn: spaghetti 'os
Mom: 2 bowls of Lucky charms with skim milk of course

see we eat like Kings over here people..

Ok I don't ever talk about celebrities or anything, but something has been pissing me off. It has to do with the Star Jones....

Please bare with me...okie dokie?

Ok we all know she was a good 400 pounds. She now claims she is 150 pounds and a size 10. Now if she can squeeze her big spongy rear end to a size 10, then I wear a size 5...And we all know this is a lie..

What I don't get is why she is so secretive about her weight loss. Why cant she admit she was morbidly obese and say she had bypass...Because we all know she did. I mean if she really wanted to empower women in their weight loss attempts, she would be upfront and not be so vain as to not admit she had her tum tum reduced to the size of a pea. There is no way she lost her weight doing Pillates...I can not even do pillates for crying out loud....Am I the only one pissed off at this?.....And I wont even start on how her hubby is really gay...I wont go there....

For some reason I can not get these words outta my head....Please read them..And tell me what you think?...

"Dear Mr. Man"

What's wrong with the world 2day?
Things just got 2 get better Show me what the leaders say Maybe we should write a letter Said Dear Mr. Man, we don't understand Why poor people keep struggling but U don't lend a helping hand
Matthew 5:5 say "The meek shall inherit the earth" We wanna b down that way but U been trippin since the day of your birth
Who said that 2 kill is a sin Then started every single war that Ur people been in?
Who said that water is a precious commodity Then dropped a big old black oil slick in the deep blue sea?
Who told me, Mr. Man, that working round the clock would buy me a big housed in the hood Cigarette ads on every block Who told me, Mr. Man, that I got a right 2 moan?
How about this bog old hole in the ozone?
What's wrong with the world 2day Things just got 2 get better
Dear Mr. Man, we don't understand Maybe we should write a letter
Listen, Ain't no sense in voting - same song with a different name Might not b in the back of the bus but it sure feel just the same
Ain't nothing fair about welfare Ain't no assistance in AIDS
We ain't that affirmative about your actions until the people get paid
Ur thousand years r up Now U got 2 share the land
Section 1 - the 14th amendment says "No state shall deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law" Mr. Man, we want 2 end this letter with 3 words
We tired a-y'all

no this is not my writing....you can thank Prince for this...This song makes me run faster on my treadmill...Its a great song..and so true ....

I was making the spawns write out their Valentine cards for school last night...Meg Ryan says

" sometimes I just hate being a woman"

just wait till you start your period, have your first broken heart, have boobs that are too big to fit in a size small shirt that use to fit you before you had kids, get married, and go thru labor and push out a 8 pound baby..Then do it again 3 years later, then again three years after that....Welcome to womanhood then my friend.


Monday, February 06, 2006

No mittens for you

I have a tale to tell. I must warn you that there may be some dirty situations...Maybe even what I may call gross..

Getting on with things, Old Mother Hen and I went out shopping Sunday afternoon after church. We went to our normal stomping ground of Applebees. I got what I usually get..And every food I name off to you, is what I eat....I mean I lick my plate clean, kinda like an Eathopian would do with a bowl of cat food..

I get the three course combo.now for a limited time only..I get steak, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed veggies, garlic toast,shrimp, and artichoke and spinach dip with chips.....Then for dessert it is white raspberry cheesecake or something...And I eat it ALL....I always order my steak well done, as I do not want t get worms...But last time I got well done it was a bit charred for my taste. So this time I got medium well.

I cut into my steak and I see blood dripping out. I tell my mother:"great, I am gonna get worms now, I hope your happy"
Half way thru the meal I start to feel rumblings in my tum tum. But I proceed to feast on the animal flesh...

After we eat we got to Target..I love me some Target....The husband calls me while I am shopping and tells me that Meg Ryan spawn needs a new pair of mittens...Ok, no problem I say..

This is where it all goes down hill...I all of a sudden get the feeling, ya no the feeling that If you were to sit on a toilet nothing put pure liquid would come spouting from the nether regions..But I hold it, cuz I am in target for God's sake, and I can not use a public restroom.

So this feeling has me cranky. I go to find mittens.....I see no mittens, so I kindly ask for help..

" Excuse me, I cant seem to find the mittens, I need some child mittens if you will"

" Oh, sorry mam, all of our mittens went to salvage the other day."

"um, its Febuary, in MN, and I can not get mittens."

" sorry mam"

" Ok, your telling me in the throws of winter in the coldest state in the USA, I can not buy my daughter mittens, I can get her a bathing suit, I see plenty of them, but I cant get her a new pair of mittens?"

" we have no more mittens, sorry"

" so wait....Its febaury, my daughter needs a new pair of mittens, and you don't sell mittens in February?, but I can get her a swim suit?"

"mam, I am really sorry, but yes this would be the case"

" ok, so I guess I will have to buy a few swim suits and tape them to my daughters tiny, numb hands"

why oh why in the Midwest where summer doesn't start till July, do the stores stop selling mittens in Feb? Can anyone tell me what the hell I am going to need a swim suit in Febaury for in Minnesota?..Anyone, anyone?

didn't think so


if you missed the sleep over pics they are on the last post....ummkay?

Cut, tied, burned..All in that order

Well this little slumber party we had was something ekse. I never knew 3 little girls could be so noisy. Being a once little girl myself, I do not remember ever acting this way, and I know if I would have my mother would of taken a pistol and shot me excution style..

We had Miss Bossy britches who wanted everyone to do what she wanted. She also told us a very lovely story about how she got sick at school one day and puked on the lunchroom floor, then proceeded to slip and fall in it...Cake anyone?

The other little girl I shall call timid girl who tries to hard to be her friend girl.. This poor girl tries so hard to make sure Meg Ryan spawn likes her...Why I have no idea..She is a sweet little girl though,,and I would of rather had 20 of her than one of bossy britches..

First here we have " timid girl" then Meg, then Bossy britches...3 little blondes all in a row..

lets see here we have the back of the kids heads, there is toddler spawn enjoying the fruits of the birthday cake, and metldown spawn patielnly waiting for his cut...And of course there is The husband cutting it all up into equally squared pieces..

So there it is.....I barely survived it....But this has taught me a lesson....3 kids is just enough..3 is defiantly enough....

Blogger has been very weird. I get your commnets in my email, and the last few days only some of them have been showing up on the blog itself..I know this is happening to a few other people too...Not sure why.....But I even posted this dang thing yesterday and it never posted..So something fishy is going on.


I will be having my own slumber party. The husband leaves bright and early Monday morning for Ohio or somewhere..He will be gone till Wed night...So I figure this is a good time for a party..If you want to come, just show up at my place around 5 pm Monday..mmmkkay?


Friday, February 03, 2006

I must hit gym, repeat..Must hit gym

Yesterday when I had nothing to do, I was messing around with my camera. I mean, I could of been cleaning the house, sewing buttons on britches, mending socks, praying..Or what have you.

But I wanted to mess around, and see what hideous things I could capture on film..

I have a photo here that will prove once and for all that I need to work out more. I am almost embarrassed to showcase this..Almost

I don't know any of you people so this is the only reason I am able to do this..

I need to add about 20 more pounds to my free weights I can clearly see...

Here is another one of me..I think I may have used part of this in my new profile photo..Now mind you, it looks a little creepy, because I was giving a cheesy smile because that is what I do..

you can clearly see I am PMSing as I have a ton of zits sprouting all over God's creation..

OK what have we learned here boys and girls?

I will tell you....Working out is a must if you don't want flabby arms like me, and Proactive may be a good idea if you have zits at PMS time..These are two things I should consider.


I guess this is all I have for today......We have the infamous slumber party tonight..This should be full of lots of materiel for Monday..

Have a super great weekend....And only 6 more weeks of winter

what Bologna


Thursday, February 02, 2006

Afternoon delight

well, a nice afternoon post here. I just wanted to say that I have been working on one of the children's books, and I nearly have the story idea complete. It needs some serious brush up work, but the concept for the most part is all wrote down.

I also have learned I am not the artist I thought I was. I tried sketching some pictures, I nearly wet myself from the hideousness that was my drawings.

Maybe if I work on it more, I will be better. Then again maybe not.....That is a book all in itself. It truly looks like maybe I had a one too many drinks and grabbed some colored pencils.

I have a bit of a rant here. We all know yesterday was Meg's birthday. My MIL called about 4 times, she even called last night and talked with meltdown spawn...She then called back not even 15 minutes later to thank us for letting him call her..

um excuse me MIL, you called us.....Please take your pills and call me in the morning

Then my sister called her, she got a call from my grandparents, got a package from my dad and future step mother.

Now what about the FIL....Well no call, but he said last week sometime he was just going to send her a savings bond...A 50 buck savings bond..

I have no problem with the savings bond per say.....But when that is all you do for every birthday and holiday, you are a cheap bastard. I don't normally like using curse words, but it pisses me off..Put some damn thought into something for once.

And the hubbys brothers did not even acknowlge she had a birthday. No call, no card...I swear, when his brothers kids have birthdays I am the only one who remebers and I make sure we get a card out and I usually try and send an email to let them know that something is in the mail...

I told hubby last night that I done remebering his families birthdays. From now on he is in charge of calling, card sending, and whatnot...

So there.

Here are two pics from yesterday..It is Toddler spawn enjoying the fruits of Meg's birthday and Meg showing off her cupcake. We get the cake Friday for her party. The damn thing better be cute too

you enjoying the picutres, yes me too..blogger sucks today.Im outta here


Still no writing area set up:(

Well another birthday has come and gone here.

Meltdown spawn wants to be a bounty hunter and Meg Ryan spawn wants to marry Simon from American Idol.

I have went wrong somewhere.

And why does Meg want to marry Simon you ask? Because he is mean like me..

Maybe I am doing something right afterall.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The first girl I ever loved

It was a chilly day 6 years ago today that I met her. It was about 2:36 pm when she first caught my eye. The first thing I noticed was that she had a bruised up face, like maybe she had been in some sort of bar fight or something. It was not appealing. But I was assured that it would heal. So I let it slide. I don't think she liked me at first, because she wouldn't even open her eyes to acknowledge I was in the same room as her. And if she did happen to take a peek, she only wept.

I knew she would be the prettiest girl in the room, even before the bruises oh her face healed. But what she would become in the next 6 years has bypassed even my highest expectations.

I will share with you some photos of her early days. I had to take pictures of pictures because my scanner is broken..*poor me*

I know these pictures are not good....Which is ok with me, because it showcases how fat I really was back then....

Here are some of her the first 2 weeks of her life.

Please concentrate on the baby, for I am fat and pasty, mmkay?

This is one of my favorite pics of her, although you can not see the real cuteness in it..But trust me, its a good one.

Here are some ones when she was bigger...At the beach and holding a kitten we had found outside...I brought it in a bathed it because it was smelly...I am a sucker for a cat..

This is at our old house back in Michigan...Her first day of preschool.

Here is the one with the cat, and yes those are my fat legs holding toddler spawn when she was a mere baby spawn.

Here are some recent ones of her....You all know what she looks like, but I don't care..

last summer when we went to the museum, you can see the Mighty Mississippi River in the background..

so there is the first girl I ever loved......She came in this world Feb 1st , 2000 a bouncing fat 8 lbs 13 ounces and 22.5 inches long....

She is now 43 pounds and 43 inches tall.....With a heart condition..haha

I love you Meg...


These are some pictures I took yesterday, here is Meg Ryan spawn doing a karate kick

here are the girls showing off their muscles

and last but certainly not least......My meltdown spawn says to me today....

" I have been thinking about what I want to be when I grow up."

now mind you ever since he was 3 he has wanted to be a paleontologist

" what's that son?, what do you want to be?"

" a bounty hunter"

yup, that sounds about right.