Friday, October 31, 2008

dont stop, thinkin bout 2morrow


I have a lotta crap going on now, between mom moving in, my sister and her wandering pecker of a hubby...

oh the list goes on and on.

Sorry I have not been even stopping by to see anyone, but its just been crazy.

I did however manage to go somewhere awesome last night...

I don't want any back talk from some of you...because frankly, I'm not in the mood and I don't really give a shit.

I will let the photos do the talking for me...cause well, its Halloween and I have things to do.

yes. that is my love....Bill Clinton...I was 50 feet from him...


he is seriously considering groping and fondling can tell, he is thinking about it.

and i was willing too..
Ok, i have to go....
have a great Halloween...
and I'm sure Bill is somewhere right now wishing he woulda felt me up, just once.

Friday, October 24, 2008

bet on it

I have so much going on...things I will not talk about..

All I cant tell you 4 sure right now, is I am going to see him tonight..

And that will make it all better...

Plus I'm sick.....

just too much shit, I will be gone from the blogging world for little while..

I will be basking in the glow of seeing my Zac Efron..

We will get back to regular scheduled blogging at a later date..

Everybody's always talken at me, Everybody tries to get in my head, I wanna listen to my own heart talken, I need to count on myself instead..

Did u ever, lose yourself to get what u want, Did u ever, get on a ride and wanna get off? Did u ever Push away the ones u shoulda close did u ever let go did u ever not know?

THOSE are not my words, I stole them from Zac Efron in High School Musical 2...thats my favorite song in High School Musical two..

I cant wait to get a favorite song in HSM3..

good times good times..

u guys can now talk amungst yourselves, I will give u a topic..


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

sunspot baby

My mom has not even officially moved in yet, and I think I have a raging bleeding ulcer..

I mean raging.

I have been spending the last couple days bagging up up shit to get rid of, and trying to get things in order for her to move in this weekend.

Its too bad you cant do with parents like you do for a stray animal. Take it to the shelter an let them find it a good home.

I have already done more for this woman in the last 15 years then any kid should be asked...And she isn't even in diapers yet..

She has lived with us, I have supported her, I have driven her around for 2 years because she was unable to drive, I have helped her move, put deposits on places, bought her furniture..u name it, I have done it already.

Its like she is totally spoiling her golden years...Because by the time she is senile, I will be so sick of doing this shit, I will take her to the shelter.

Over the last 15 years she done some pretty awful things to me. I will not go into any detail or anything, but there use to be plenty of drama surrounding her..

I need a drink just thinking about it.


Remember during the summer when I was in the homeland and my poor dad crashed into the back of my hot mom wheels?

I mean my mini van.

Well when I left he told me to go get an estimate and he would have it fixed..I have not done that yet.

Mainly because well, its my dad...and well, I don't want his insurance to go up, or have to fork out money..or whatever..

The bitch is startin to rust where it was smashed..

And there is not an auto body in town I trust...they all seem like douche bags..

But everyone here seems like a douche bag to me...

I may just have to drive it to Lincoln, NB and have Cliff son Dan fix it..

He doesn't seem like a douche he is cute..and he owns a collision shop.

Can u fit me in?

Now mind u, if my father in law woulda been the one to ram my car, THAT fuckin day I woulda called the police, said a fat bastard hit my car, just plowed his huge back end right up in my ass...repeatedly...oh and he gave me the finger..

And I would of made him fix that shit before I left the state...and I mighta even sued him for damages.

What damages?

Just knowing him...thats damage enough..

He doesn't send my kids real gifts for holidays or birthdays anyway, so its not like I would be taking away from his grand kid fund.

He sends them worthless savings bonds...

Ya no, savings bonds my kids received when they were babies, and are suppose to be mature in 7 years...I have taken to the bank to put into CD's..

Then I have the teller tell me this worthless 50 dollar savings bond aint even worth the 25 bucks an asshat woulda spent on it.

Now I don't have an issue with savings bonds per say..but when its your only token of love to your grand kid..kinda makes u look like a douche bag.

The children know you have put absolutely no thought into a gift for them..

So therefore, I would milk him for all he aint worth just for hitting my car ever so slightly.

Cause that's how I roll.


The other night I watched this movie on HBO, it was called fast food nation.

holy mother of God.

it was very disturbing...I mean it takes a lot to disturb me.

The last ten minutes they showed actual slaughter of cows...

I totally didn't see that coming..I was caught off guard.

Now I know people make a living killing and slaughtering animals so we can eat them.

But its something I do not need to be seeing...

I mean they showed them skinning it, slitting its throat, gutting it...

and at the end they showed a bucket full of cow heads missing skin and and muscles, with its eyeballs staring up at you.

They need to put a fuckin disclaimer on that shit...before they started the cattle prodding and throat slitting, they shoulda said..

all u peeps who might find the slaughter of a cow a tad disturbing, go take a crap, by the time u are done, we should be done killing stuffff.

but they didn't..

and I saw it..

And I was in such shock, I couldn't even move to turn the channel..I was frozen.

So next time, you film makers with the fucked up minds...warn a girl next time u start butchering shit..mmmkay?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

papa was a rolling stone

So, lets see...

There has been a turn of events here in my dwelling. Something I did not see coming. Something that I was not prepared for.

It hit me like 14 tons of mother loving bricks.

Maybe 15.

I am not a planner by any means, but I don't like sneak attacks either, cause I'm not prepared.

That's why I could never be a combat officer in the front line of duty, cause I would be dead.

If I don't see it coming, I'm splat dead..


And I don't wanna be dead...not yet..

I know my time is coming, its not that I think I'm some wizard of immortal power..

God I wish...being a wizard would totally kick ass...and I woulda seen this shit coming.

I mean I have enough shit I'm dealing with, like trying to figure out how I'm gonna buy Halloween candy for the neighborhood hoodlums...I was going to hand out my TUMS and tell the tots they were sweet tarts, but I ate them all over the weekend.

every last one...

Thats the kinda stress I'm dealing with here...

I even ate a whole bag of licorice on Saturday...

A whole bag!

It seems my mother has hit some financial hardship..and guess what.

She is moving in with us.

Now she has lived with us before and it always ended very very very very very very very badly.

I mean, I was thinking of cleaning out my shed and throwing a cot in there and a couple flash lights..And a nice thick pieced together her toes would stay warm...but the hubs said that would not be proper living conditions.

Now I have been reading and seeing on the news that this is a popular trend taking place in todays world.

Parents are moving in with their children because they are having trouble making it on their own.

Just like in the Great Depression when many generations lived together in family compounds...and they baked together, sewed buttons on britches, had hot pots of gruel on the stove top, and darned socks...

Thats gonna be me.

I called my dad to let him know there would be no room for him at the inn he needs to call his other daughter if times get rough for him and the Mrs.

I know I complain about money, because well, everyone is having hard times...and really, I don't have it nearly as rough as some people do..I'm just spoiled and when I cant have my luxuries, I get pissed...

But now dear ole mom is coming to stay...I am not sure for how long...I'm hoping no more then a year...

Its not like I am giving her a deadline...

I wish I could...cause I kinda have a bad feeling about this.

I am not a people person and I do not play well with others.

And she knows this.

I am very temperamental and stuff tends to piss me off very quickly.

I'm sure u have not noticed that shit..

Anyway, this is going to cause me great deals of stress...So if at times I vent and use more four letter words then I normally do, I am apologizing now in advance.

cause there will be no apologize when it happens, thats not how I roll..

And I hope this living arrangement does not leave me as a victim, nor the defendant on a case Nancy Grace will be working on..

I'm just sayin...

And to boost your mood after bringing you down..

oh wait, your not down? its just me?

Here is a pic of what my son will look when he is an old man...

All you people with daughters his age, come have them take a gander ...

enjoy tweens....

Friday, October 17, 2008

The heart of rock and roll

Its been a rough couple days. My tots do not have school today, nor did they yesterday. And no, its not because we had a snow storm. Damn people.

So they have been bugging me for things like food, drink, and clean underwear.

I think one of my tots has been in their jammies since Thursday morning, and you know what I say? Good, because thats less washing of clothes I have to do.

I don't think my girls have brushed their hair either. As I glance over at them, I think I can see a small mammal living in each kids head.

but damn, their teeth are clean.


On a serious note, I have another raging damn yeast infection...I know...over share right?

I just like keeping you up to date on my vaginal health.

I think I caught it early, because it just kinda itches and burns with the wrath of one million bee stings and skeeter bites, instead burning like the firey pits of hell.

In my life I have never had so many...I didn't have my first one till I was in my 20's..and I wanted to die..I thought I was dying.

But I think I caught this one before I tore up the area trying to stop the itching...

I know...over share..

Its my pills I think....well thats what my doctor says, and she is smart..cause she is a she.


So, anyway...moving right along...

Tomorrow is my dads birthday. I don't see my dad but twice a year, and it may dwindle down to once a year, cause I just cant afford the trip there anymore...and people choose not to come here for some reason, guess they figure I should be the only one to waste money on trips....thing is, i think I wasted all mine...the well is dry and there is a family of field mice living in it now.

And if I don't find a job that pays me what I am worth, which is at least 6 figures, I wont be doing any traveling ever..

Back to my story, I got side tracked...I do that alot.

Saturday is my dads birthday...I sent him a card last week..cause I'm a good daughter

I found out last week that not only is October 18th the day my dad burst thru the seams of my grandmother, but it is also the day Zac Efron was burst thru the seems of a beautiful fairy to bring joy to all the middle aged women who basically have no life outside watching HSM....

that would be me.

I know some of you would say I am not middle aged, that possible my dad being 54 now is middle aged...Sure he is..but I am too...

I went thru my mid-life crisis about 3 years ago, and you cant have a mid life crisis unless your mid life. Right?

So I was in my early 30's, so this means I will be dead any time now.
I'm OK with that, cause its not like I can enjoy anything, cause I never have any damn money.

I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to buy Halloween candy..I'm thinking of breaking open my bottle of TUMS and telling the kids they are sweet tarts.

Anyway, shit I'm getting sidetracked alot, must be my over production of yeast.

So its Zac's birthday Saturday...shit, I mean my dads....

My dad has never seen me do karaoke, when I use to do it back home, I never told anyone I was doing it, cause wasn't cool...

Never even brought up the word to anyone...ever..

But here, there is so little to do, and so many drunk people, it kinda all goes hand in hand.

Every time I am home I try to find a place to do it, and I try to drag him, but he says he needs to go to bed cause he is like old and shit...

so I thought I would bring the karaoke to him...

I made some songs yesterday and will add more today for his listening pleasure. My dad and I basically have the same taste in music, only mine is a touch better..

I mean The Who, Neil Young?..get outta the 60's dad....

Someday my kids will have this same intervention with me, telling me to get outta the 80's, but I like it here.

And if you think I'm funny, you should try and have one conversation with him. I inherited his funny bone and his wit for sarcasm...

SO if you don't like me, you wont like him and frankly, we both don't care...


My dad and I went to two Def Leppard shows together when I was a teen...

When I got older I bought him tickets to an Elton John show and we went...just him and I...Then the next year we went and seen Billy Joel and Elton John together..I took my hubs to that one, he just sat and read a book..

which is better then what he did at the last Prince concert I took him too...wanna know what hubs did?..

he slept..yes he fucking slept...he totally missed sheila E..he totally missed everything, he slept, in his chair....fucking slept..

So anyway, got side tracked again..

I have brought the karaoke to him...

now when u listen, u hear two voices, thats cause i am harmonizing...with myself...cause two is better then one...

I will be adding more songs today, cause well, I have nothing better to do.

And plus, it bugs the shit outta my tots when I do it.

So, I hope Zac and my dad have a great birthday...

If anyone wants to wish either one a happy birthday, go ahead...

And don't feel sorry for my dad, he has a 30 year old wife and a plasma screen TV that is bigger then one wall in my house...and a good set of golf clubs..

Thats all any man needs..

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

pinball wizard

edit at bottom

So I was watching Oprah yesterday, well because I have ovaries. Its an automatic law. I don't make the rules, I just follow them..

They had a whole show on the treatment of the farm animals. At first I was sad. I thought those poor animals need to have a better life, since they will end up dead soon anyway.

It was mostly about the confines of chickens...

I like chicken. I like eggs.

My town has a huge chicken farm...well an egg farm. And inside this farm or so I'm told there are over 500,000 thousand chickens inside. And the buildings don't seem big enough to house that many chickens.

But now I know its possible.

I don't eat pork or red meat, only because I do not like the taste...thats the only reason.

But then as I was watching the show, I thought, these poor bastards don't know any better..

Thats all they know.

Its not like they took them away from a place where they had unlimited amounts of sex and got to free base soybeans and corn.

Because they didn't.

At least I don't think they did..

I should do some fact checking..

Anyway, my point is, living in cages for a couple years is better then being drug to the slaughter house to get your head cut off.

I'm just sayin..


Ok, on my new favorite show, news To Me..a couple weeks ago they were talking about this website where you can go and upload your photo and see what you would look like in another race or older or whatever..

So I did it.

Wanna see?

I used the picture that is here on my blog..the one most people have seen..

Now this is what they say I looked like as a child.

Now I'm not sure why I all of a sudden got black being a child..but they think I was..

Now this is a pic of me as an actual child..

Kinda like twins huh?

so this is what it says I looked like as a teen..

now this is somewhat closer to the real thing...sorta..

this is me as a teen..

go ahead and amongst yourselves..

Ok, our next test is what I would look like if I were...


brace may get scared. And I don't need that on my conscience.

I'm a total babe huh?

I strangely look like the doctor who birthed two of my kids...

and its a dude.

So this is me when I'm old...

I mean, I not as ugly as I could be...


who wants to tap that?

That there is some prime geriatric behind..

Im just sayin.

i4got to add the link..this is the website u can do this at.

if any of you do it, let me know, I want to see...I will be featuring a differnt member of my family every week..I 4got to tell u that..

go and have some fun...I wanna see what u look like old...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Lay down your love

In case any of you were wondering....all the flies in the world reside inside my house.

And even there nasty cousin the fruit fly...

all here...its like a big fuckin reunion.

I'm not sure where they came from, or why they chose to buy real estate here, but they have.

I am going to go buy some of those fly tape things, you see the people who live in trailer parks hanging as decorations..

I like to keep up on the current trends, hell even set them....

so everyone go buy one..and leave it hang all winter long with the dead flies on it..

trust me, its the cool thing to do..

I swear everyone room in my house has its own fly family living in it.

But the reunion ends today..


Ok, when I watched my new favorite show over the weekend, NEws To Me...they had a story of this kid with political signs in his yard who kept having them stolen, so he set up a sophisticated system to track em down..


I thought to myself, who the hell steals signs? That's kinda retarded.

Until this morning when I realized BOTH my Obama signs were gone.

I live on a huge cornor lot, so I have two signs, I mean HAD.

Every house on my street has an Obama sign, so why do they take mine? Then I noticed some houses with Obama signs, that had NOT had any signs in their yard yesterday.

Then when I take Boo to school, I hear a couple parents saying their McCain signs were stolen, and some other Obama ones were taken as well..

Then I think this kid is on to something, I need to set up some surveillance camera's to get to the bottom of this.

Then I email hubs to tell him about the missing signs..

He said he has heard a bunch of these damn teens are stealing signs and putting them in yards that had not had any signs, or putting Obama signs where there were McCain signs and vice versa..

Now, why cant kids go have teen sex and steal cars like they did in my day?

go smash some kids pumpkins or go skin some cats..

Just leave the damn signs alone.

If someone has a McCain sign, leave it...

If someone has an Obama sign, leave it..

Thats the beauty of America, you have the right to chose...

And if you chose to take my sign out again, I may just bust your knee caps.

So I made some calls, and I am getting two new signs put in my yard...

I need to go out and set some booby traps.

Yes I said booby.

Friday, October 10, 2008


So, I am still stewing in the juices of missing that damn Def Leppard show last night in Detroit. I turned on the hockey channel and did get to watch it live.

My Boo, who is completely in love with them as well, because its kinda like child abuse if you don't expose them to good shit, watched it with me.

She said..

and when she said it, it broke my heart into pieces....and then I wanted to beat her.

" Is that a girl?....she looks really old, and the song doesn't sound the same like in your car momma"

Albeit Joe needs to trim the tresses and lay off the eye liner, because he was totally going all Motley Crue on my ass and I don't like that shit..

Now I thought the performances were stellar, I mean to me they were.

There was one point where Joe made a big foe pa..

Now I am no hockey fan, and I don't play one on tv..

My mother is a huge Red Wing fan and has met them all and has an autographed jersey signed by Chris Chelios..or however u spell it..

I may not know much about hockey, but I know what direction the fucking Stanley cup sits..

I was yelling...

joe, joe, please don't do it...please, u will never live that down, holy shit its gonna fall, someone help him PLEASE..

Now I don't give two craps less about the Stanly Cup, I just didn't want that shit on his shoulders.

They have to overcome many

being Def Leppard..

They just didn't need it...

I couldn't sleep at all last night just knowing I knew this was going to make them look like asses.

I went to bed thanking God I was not their P.R. person.

And when I saw it was the lead story on Yahoo...

I just kinda rocked in a cornor of my house in the fetal postion and made my 5 year old clean the house and pick the boy up from school.


We all know that I am a Nancy Grace junkie. I mean I have to keep tabs on the tot mom. Because holy shit, I'm just here to protect and serve...

its a running joke in our house that if someone here ends up missing or hacked up to death, that if one of us tells Nancy she is a hero and her twins are beautiful, she wont think we had anything to do with it.

Anyway, last weekend it was late, and I was watching an old episode, because just seeing it once is never enough.

I kinda drifted off to sleep and woke up at the start of another show.

HOLY SHIT...i love this show..

its called.

News to Me.


The producer of this show, sent me this to post here...Seriously he did..

(Grayson, maybe u can give my blog a shout out..hahahahahahahahahaha)

Anyway, this show has the greatest stories on it...I mean its shit you wouldn't think you would give a crap about, but yet, you do..

Like last weekend there was a story about how Journey found its new lead singer. Now beings Journey toured with Def leppard two years ago, I seen Journey 5 times in one year.

And I don't like Journey.

Now I did not see this singer, but I found the story interesting.

They found the dude on YouTube.

I shit you not.

I totally need to put a video of me singing Joan Jett. or Heart, or Elton John or The Eagels...

People out there need to know im the karaoke queen...

I need a gig..cause this bitch cant find a job...

Maybe this dude can help a bitch out...

Anyway, this show is awesome...please watch it..

There will be a quiz Monday...and if you dont pass, I will come to your house and dirty all your dishes and sit back and watch while you wash them all.

Im just sayin.

and the host, he is a total hottie.

He is bald, and very sexy..

I'm just saying..

As you all know, I don't like much, so when I find something good, I like to pass that shit on to you.

Thats how I roll.


BTW, my tree is still green...

what the hell?

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Under Pressure

I have this tree in my yard...a big one.

While all the other trees are changing colors, this bitch is holding steady with her green leaves. I mean not even turning a shade of light green or light brown..

Just green..

Green as my grass..

I think she is protesting the fact summer is over. She is kinda like me, we live in denial about many things.

What the hell is up with that?

I also have another tree whose leaves are dropping like flies, but are dropping green, not brown or red or orange.

I don't get it...

Pretty soon I am going to go out and start painting the damn leaves with my paint brushes...

It is just bizarre.

And I don't much care for bizarre things.

Not really.

Ok, maybe a little.


I am depressed today. Wanna know why?

Because its Wednesday the 8th...and ya wanna know why this bugs me?

Because if I don't leave right now, today, this very minute, I wont be to Detroit in time to see Def Leppard tomorrow night when they play at some stupid hockey shit at the fox theater.

Wanna know what I'm doing instead.


wanna know why?

because I decided against robbing the tots of Christmas. I'm sure I will regret that later.

I just could not come up with a good enough excuse to drive to Michigan, other then to see my boys.

And really, I would rather sit home, with my kids and watch Drake and Josh and Icarly and Spongebob all day...

No really, I would.

Yup, I would rather spend time playing nice family time games, watching family tv, and waiting on these kids hand and foot, cleaning the house and making sure the hubs has clean underwear.

I would rather do ALL that, then spend one night with 5 men who I have loved more then half my life.

cause that's just how I fucking roll..


I'm going to spend my weekend now eating mass quantities of corn nuts.

Drinking mass quantities of vodka and cherry pucker.

and having mass quantities of dirty time with the hubs.

Don't be hatin.

This is really what I would rather be doing.

I swear to God.


I am going to go out on a limb and say I am going to have a way better weekend here then I would if I were to spend a long weekend in Michigan where I would see my boys and spend some time with freinds and family..


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Hot for teacher

There comes a time in a parents life when they must endure a parent teacher conference. Now when your tots are small, you only have to deal with one teacher. One teacher dealings are nice. Want to know why? Because its one teacher. One is a whole nice round number.

When your tots hit middle school, you need to converse with a many a teacher. Which can be problematic when your me. I am not a people person . This means I don't like making small talk with the other "parents", that's not how I roll.

The thing about these conferences is they can linger longer then you want..And you may encounter a teacher with either body odor or mouth odor, or hell, both.

Do you offer breath mints, gum, or heck even a toothbrush?..No. You cant or they will flunk your kid.

I just know it.

I had one teacher with breath that smelled like rotting meat. One teacher who kept looking at my boobs, and one who wouldn't stop talking...

Although the good news is my son is getting one A, 5 B's and one C.

So the teacher can look at my nice perky rack if my son gets an A...thats ok..

Its not dirty.

its not like I let him touch them..


I was offered this freelance writing gig....I would get paid 20 cents per word with an average of making 200 bucks a week.

Not bad right?

Until I found out it was for a pornographic dating website.

They wanted me to write this kinda stuff

Lilly here is a spitfire...her bodacious boobs are just wanting you to take your member and slide it thru them till you blow your wade on her taught stomach..

yeah, I don't fucking think so...

But hey, that was pretty good just coming from the top of my head right?

No NO...I wont do this job, I just wont..

I don't think so..

NO NO, its wrong..

Sure the money would be nice, but I think Jesus frowns upon a good mom like me getting my keyboard dirty with the usage of words like boobs, members, back door entry, and tossing salad or rimming..

oh God, I need to go shower now...


Monday, October 06, 2008

Sunday, bloody Sunday

I have done some pretty sweet things in my lifetime thus far..

Like travel 12 states in one summer, go to Niagara falls countless times, fly on a plane, meet many famous people, follow Def Leppard around every summer, dance on stage with Everclear, have random teen sex, been a groupie, wrote some pretty funny things for some pretty awesome things, partied like it was 1999, given natural childbirth three dang times..

the list goes on and on...not to brag, but I mean seriously..

But nothing is like seeing this..

This is my son walking from the field of a football game..Doesn't he look all bad ass and shit?

He is just so dang cute in his big pads and shit....

Even with the big pads, and his um...cup...he still comes home with blood and dirt all over his self...and most times he is unaware of who the blood belongs too..

Now when I am watching him out in the field, I admit, I have no damn clue whats going on. All I know is he is dropping kids like flies...

Aww, nothing beats that...

I should read up on the rules and what nots of the game I am watching...but that takes work.

All I know is he can tackle kids twice his size..

He cant throw or catch worth a shit, but damn it, his years of pummeling his sisters has finally paid off.

I had a pretty quiet weekend. got a little tipsy on Friday and I had a quickie.

get your mind outta the gutter.

Before I had my quickie, at the first bar we went to they had drink buy one get one free...

So b4 nine pm I downed 6 diet cokes with Cherry I was feeling sick..

thats too much to drink in a short 30 minutes..

not good, im lucky i wasnt passed out with my skirt shoved over my head and my crotch all exposed on the grass..

now onto the quickie.

its not that kinda quickie, I only had sex Sunday night, not on Friday..damn..

A quickie is this..

a shot of wiskey

a shot of rum

a shot of something else i cant recall...

all in one shot glass...a big shot glass.

and it was not good...not good at all.

It tasted sorta like how imagine warm horse piss with a touch of acid would taste.

I saw my life flash before my eyes...the room was spinning and my throat was burning.

Then I had a strawberry shooter...never had?

you poor poor fools.

its a strawberry with its innards scraped out and replaced with tequila rose and topped with whipped cream.

it was like I had died and gone to alcoholics heaven.

they were a buck a berry..

I had 15.

it was my fruit intake for the weekend.

So that was Friday..

Saturday I had Pale Girls daughters 16th birthday party at my house.

Not sure what i was thinking letting a bunch of teenagers run rampid in my yard and house.

See look...

My poor Boo is caught in the middle...there is no return..

Then they kidnapped Blondie....sure they look harmless and like they are having fun..

then look, one tries to leave with my tiny baby boo tot..

I don't think she woulda got far, cause boo wouldn't leave the yard without her High School Musical blanket...

Look at all the teens my girl tots and a wolf...
That wolf belongs to Pale Girls dog tried to eat him, but thats another story for another day.
Ya wonder where the boy is
He is upstairs in my room playing on the XBoX 360 because there were too many girls in his house.
On my DishNetwork I noticed something I have. A channel I never had before.
It is a channel called, and I shit you not..
And its got Obama on there talking about shit and whatnots...
I was looking for a McCain channel so I could have good listening materiel for when I have the such luck.
I don't watch the Obama channel, I have not yet been that desperate for mindless entertainment, but I found is comforting just knowing its there..
Kinda like knowing long underwear are in my drawers in case I get chilly..
Oh and I nearly ran outta gas going thru the drivethru on friday...I was getting my tots some dinner, cause every friday we get take out..
I took hubs car cause well, I figured it had more gas then my van..
I did not look at the gas gauge, which was a lapse in judgement on my part, because it was in the negaitve.
I practially sucked fumes to make it home..
I asked the hubs what kinda damn hillbilly he is to NOT have gas in his car...I mean what the hell..
I coasted into the drive way and went on a naughty word binge...
My son, God Bless him, when I start spewing 3, 4 and 5 letter words he says..
Aww mom..tot talk, tot talk..
When I start getting pg-13 he always says "tot talk"
oh and I said something to him about his pals having Playboys...
he got all red in his face and told me he would not ever look at one.
I asked him how he even knew what Playboy was, becuase that was a test and he had just failed..
he was not suppose to know what i was talking about.
He told me, and I quote.
"well parents out there who dont do a good job raising their kids and watching what they do, they let their kids look at playboy and the stuff gets around school"
and then he thanked me for being a good mom and not exposing him to Playboy...yet.
He told me all in good time.
Thats my boy, easing into playboy , all in good time

Thursday, October 02, 2008

sunshine, on my shoulders, makes me crabby


I have been sick the last few days. You know the type of sick where you pray for certain death, yet you don't want to miss the next episode of Nancy Grace or ER?

Yeah that kinda sick.

My head has been hurting bad. I'm sure my tumor and or aneurysm is about to implode.

I also have some sort of tumor or growth in my esophagus..When I swallow, it feels like there is something in there...Something bad..

It might be a jelly bean from last Easter, I can not entirely rule that shit out.

But between my head, my throat and my unruly hair, I am thinking my time is nearly up.

Plus Def Leppard is playing in Detroit next Thursday and I can not come up with a good enough excuse to drive there.

A friend of mine has the tickets and the hotel, I just need to get there.

Only I don't have the money to drive there right now.

Unless I take away Christmas from the tots...And they have been little bastards lately.

I don't know, I'm still thinking about it. I would have to take Boo with me and drop her off and some relatives house while I go slut around Detroit looking for my boys.

I have been so depressed lately. I have been thinking of going home for a visit anyway.

The job market in this county is making me a tad homicidal..

I have some prospects...very nice ones, working for some doctors and one is writing for a local newspaper.

but a of right now, everything looks pretty fucking bleak for this ole bitch.

I just need a get away.

Sure I traveled 12 states this summer, but none of it was for enjoyment purposes.

Either going to rescue the sister from the wandering pecker in Virgina Beach or going to spit on grannys grave in Lac Cruses..

Oh the joys of family get together's.

I am going to start a weight loss blog. And we are all invited.

Its going to be one where all the members can write in.

I have not set it up yet, but i will soon.

I am going to have it set to private so in case some of you don't want your weight business all over the world wide web, no one can see it but the members.

We can exchange recipes, tips, workouts, photos and things of that sort.

So if you want to join email at and when I get the blog started, I will send you invites to join and we can all post and just have a good ole fat time.

I must go now, I think my tumor is about to implode.

Good Day..