Monday, July 31, 2006

Room 2 move

I did the most assnine thing you can do when the tempature hovers the boiling point.

I re-arranged bedrooms.

I did however bake in the sun Sunday for an hour. When I went out it was 94, when I got back in it was a nice toasty 101. No wonder my backside felt like I had urinated on myself.

I had to clean up minimal flesh soup outside.

My bees were not allowed outside past 6am....But they were sleeping at that hour..Sucks for them. And me..

I moved Butch Bee's room to the lower level, now the girls get their own room again. Next month is Boo's 3rd birthday, and she is getting a big girl bed.

She wants a pink room. Blondie Bee wants a black room. Guess who won and guess who lost. What 6 year old girl wants a black room?...MINE DOES.

So now Boo will have her own room and her new bed. Now I only need to get her to crap and piddle in the toilet. Hell, cats can do it. Why cant she. True, she is a tad retarded. But still...Even my mother who borderlines on the crapping yourself kind of retardedness can still poo in the potty.

But Blondie and I compromised. It wont be black, but yellow or red. Ok that is technically not a compromise, but whatever. I am older, I pay the bills..ok technically that is wrong as well. Mr Shaky pays the bills. The point is I told her she was not having a black room.

As I sit here at my desk typing this mindless drivil, I am experincing more butt and booby sweat then I have in my life. I am so hoping that hell is a dry heat. U don't smell so fresh when u are bombarded by the sticky heat.


So my weekend was spent with my 2 year old trying to make snow angels on the carpet, my 6 year old trying to talk me into letting her room be defaced, and my son telling me how his life sucks because he has to clean his room and go to summer school.

NO Blondie Bee, U can not turn Goth on me, your 6, your room will have flowers and butterflies,no black anywhere. Or your moving out..mmaky?

Hey Butch, sorry your life sucks, but NO you still have to go to summer school and take showers. Its just the law. And please do something about the odor your omitting from your feet. Did you step on a dead carcass of some kind..Really dude, get your feet off my couch, thanks bud.

And to you Boo bee, no we can not make snow angles on the carpet. And on you "birfday" you will be "freeee ears ode" I know this baby, I was there when I birthed you, and yes you can have a pink cake, party hats, and bawoons.Pink bawoons. Yes and a pink room. Oh and yes, Dora on your cake of course, oh yes, and Boots too..Ok..Got it.

why? Because your so damn cute and I love your baby talk..That's why.

I have a question. How do parents who do not allow their tots to watch TV get anything done? I am all for restricting the use of the devil box...For sure. But how do you get a load of laundry done, or get dishes done without a kid hanging on your leg begging for something? Or some peace and quiet time. You can turn on Blues Clues and you magically have a half hour of non speaking or moving. Kick your feet up, sip some lemonade..Whatever..

What do you do without the means of a TV? And don't even tell me you have a nanny to mind your kids needs. If you tell me that I will personally come kick your ass.

Or don't tell me you read and play with them all day, cause that will be a bold face lie and I will still have to come kick your ass.

And don't tell me that they occupy them selves and play outside.

What kid plays alone and outside ALL day? If you tell me yours does..Again, ass kicking in order.

Someone please give me an answer. I am clueless as to how this whole process happens.

What the sam bloody hell do you do with a 2 year all day? If you don't turn on Dora or Elmo, what do you do? I want a detailed schedule.

Oh and don't give me a schedule of

1, we go to the pool in the morning
2 go to the library in the afternoon
3. We have a tea party after lunch
4. Outside time
5 naptime
6. "School work time"

don't even think about giving me a schedule like that. Normal people don't have that kind of time.

You wont get an ass kicking, but maybe a strong nodding and finger pointing at.

Ok, leave me your answers if you have some good ones..If your gonna tell me the crap I just told you NOT to tell me, then forget it..I don't wanna hear it. I want a real, honest answer, cuz I am thinking of doing this...So any real help would be grateful.

Ok sorry this is way to damn long...I got to go do something.

I think Bob the Builder is on...And I think he is hot.

Oh and it has come to my attention that the MN lotto is rigged. I mean I bought 5 tickets for better chances of winning the 170 gabzillion dollars, and I did not get ONE damn number. NOT ONE. That money is meant for me. I have had a premintion. A premintion of me living in house with 3 pools, 5 good looking shirtless pool boys.

And 3 nannys so I can have some quiet time with no TV on...

Bee Real

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Back to the future

I am bored. I cant go outside, they are warning us if we go out, our flesh may start to peel off. It is 101 right now. Going to be in the 110's sunday and monday. I live in the north, ok the midwest..same thing. It is not suppose to get that hot here. Al Gore is on to something with this global warming crap..

So since I dont want a yard full of flesh soup, I am staying indoors.

Since I have nothing better to do, and feel like posting something totally worthless and meaningless..i know what your thinking...thats every post i write..

I know, I know...but tonight we are gonna have a little stroll down memeory lane and we are gonna view it using picutres of Bossy. WHy?....I just feel like.

Its 106 degrees out. I have a mentlaly challgended kid making snowmen and angles on the carpet, one who has locked themself in the lower level, and one who is runnin amuck outside, probably vandilzing property or rolling mariuana ciggs.

I will let u guess who is who..

Anyway, onto our feature prestentaion. For your viewing pleasure I will now show you some pics of ole me when I was a mear tot...well pre-teen anyway..

This is me wearing a purty red dress...

This is me and my freshly permed hair do. I am holding our cocker spaniel puppy named Magnum. Yes my dad thought he was a regualr Tom Selleck. That damn dog drowned in our swimming pool. RIP magnum.

This is me, my mentlaly retarded sister, and my father who belives he was Tom Selleck. We are in Niagra Falls. Its called a family vaction butt wades. Not sure where my mom was, she musta been taking the photos..these find Kodak moments.

Well it wont let me post anymore pics, so I am gonna have to start a new post..The next one will be me in the teenage and adult years. It will be right below this peice of garbage.

Bee Real

OK, onto to the teenage and adult years. This is me in 11th grade I do believe, notice the short bob and IOU shirt. Those were really hip back in 1991-92 era. ALong with BUM and GUESS shirts. Remeber those days people? We so sucked back then.

This here is my at my High School graduation. The year was 1993. Notice I am showing a little leg.

Here is one of my senoir photos....Notice the bad hair and the lame sweater. I am not sure of the look I was going for, but its bad whatever it is.

Now this one has a trampy feel for some reason..and I dont match real well. I mean I have a black shirt and blue shorts on..but if u take a look at my hiar I am wearing a white scrunchy.I do not pull that look off well.

Ok, now wee move onto presnet day..I dont have much in between cause after I got morbidly obsese after birthing some kids, I refuse to be in picutres. This is as close to seeing me now as your ever gonna get. Until I can start having the will power to be anerexic.

The only part of me with no cellutlite.

So how is your age progression coming along?...I would love to take a gander..

Bee Real

Friday, July 28, 2006

Loving every minute of it

This is going to be my first weekend off in it seems like 20 years. Well I guess about 2 weeks really.

It is going to be hot here over the weekend..Suppose to be 100-104 Sunday. I plan on spending most of the weekend in either my birthday suit or my simming soup. Depending on what are visitor ratio will be. If it is a low census coming, that will reflect what my daily attire will be

I plan on putting a blanket on freshly mowed, yet crunchy grass. Taking my bottle of dark tanning coconut oil, my radio and a good Jimmy Buffet CD, maybe some drinks with little umbrella's , my sunglasses, and a sign that says " do not disturb unless I look like I may have suffered a heat stroke"

With the humidity should reach the 110's. I don't think I would stroke out until at least the 130's....I have not put this to any scientific data, and or research of any kind. Its just a hypothesis, if you will. But I do know what burning flesh smells like, so I will be keeping a watchful eye for that.


No more news to report on the weird stalker guy. Course he could be on a greyhound bus headed for here, and he may trespass over my "do not disturb " sign, in which I believe, gives me the right to shoot him. I mean it will be a no tresspassing sign. Granted it is meant for the bees, hubby and mostly insects, I will still shoot on site.

Course I don't have a gun nor know how to use one. So a good kick in the balls will have to do.

My mother started a blog. I got it up and running for her. She has no clue how to do these things. She is a tad retarded as well. Almost borderline drooling and crapping pants kind of retarded.

She is going to write about her adventures of being single and looking for love. We all remember the midget now don't we? Gawd I try to forget about that..

hence the drooling and crapping of pants retardeness

I am going to put her blog on my sidebar, if any of you wanna go say "hey retard"

her blog name is Old~Motherhen

yes I came up with that all on my own.

until I add it there you can go here

Ok, that's all I have.

Have a great weekend. Now if you don't hear from me again one of two things have occurred.

1. Stalker found me and the kick in the balls did not take him down

B. I indeed can die of heatstroke before the 130's and my field research went array.

Bee Real


I have a burning question. Well not burning so much as just an annoying itch. I have stated before how I really detest resturant buffets. It seem old people and people who think they are sticking it to the place are drawn to them. There is just something about putting food on my plate that I know is either being heated by stale luke warm water or heat lamps that makes me feel like vomiting in my mouth. Then there is the not knowing how long it has actually been sitting there, or if anyone has accidentally put there scummy, dirty finger in there that they just picked their nose or scratched their bum with.

I will however make an exception. I do like a good Chinese buffet. I adore Asian food. Not the meat, I will not eat the meat. I have had one to many experiences with eating meat that should only be consumed by vultures or cannibals.

But my question is, how many trips do you make in order to get your moneys worth? If you only go up one time, that is not getting your bang for your buck. If you go 3 or more times, people will talk...And u walk out waddling because your an idiot.

This is my normal run thru the chinse line. First trip is noodles, satued' mushrooms, broccoli, and the green beans sauted' in some kind of brown sauce that looks like gasoline.

My second trip is more mushrooms, baked fish..(or maybe its eel, shark, snake, or puppy) and garlic bread. I don't consider fish a meat, its more of a solid food with protein and mercury, plus you can normally look at it and know it is a fish of some kind..Might be a blowfish instead of cod..How the hell do u know? Or it might be something along the lines of a fish they found dead on the beach and grabbed what was left after the pelicans and seagulls were thru eating it.

My third trip is the best yet. Its the dessert bar, which intales cream puffs, little coconut cake, rice pudding and almond cookies. Yes, I actually put all that on my plate. And eat it. Not willing to share. Not even if you begged or cried. Or threatened me with bodily harm.

Am I getting everything I can out of it? Or should I load up more? Or am I eating way too much and not leaving enough for the starving people who may rummage thru the dumpster after the shop closes?

I will say, one buffet I would gladly eat at again and again is a dessert only buffet. A place I can get any kind of cheesecake, bread pudding, cake, jello desserts with whipped cream, um cheesecake...I love cheesecake. Maybe a strickly cheesecake only buffet. That would be nice.

In my dessert only buffet there would be the finest selections of fruit and juices, as well as milkshakes, malts and smoothies. basically anything that would put you into a diabetic shock.

All this for a sound and stable 2dollar and 50cent.

If you are on a shoe string budget, u can still afford to come. Take back some pop cans and come on in..if your state does not collect money for pop cans as this one does not....Maybe get a job mowing the neighbors lawn or babysitting.

My mentally impaired two year old is walking around with her t-shirt and diaper while wearing a winter knit hat. She is laying on my carpet telling me she is making snow angles. And now she keeps yelling for me to watch her..

"ookk momma, I make snow angels...It likes me. Look at the snow momma, u play wit me peese,lets make a snowman"

It is 104 outside right now. Heat warning in effect yet this retard is seeing snow.

Peace out...c-ya monday, if u wanna know what I am doing this weekend, look at the post below..dont be jelous..i am jsut a normal girl with big dreams, thats all
Bee Real

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Here I go again

I have dealt with the amnesia I believe. It is a rampid epidemic I think. Kind of like gambling, drugs and wife beating. Only these are juveniles. Poor stupid juvies. There minds are so delicate, so mushy like oatmeal. I believe my Butch Bee has made a full recovery from the deep depths of his memory loss. Thank you Lord Almighty for keeping my family so insane. It makes me seem less crazy. But then again, I seem to be breeding the crazy, and that is never a good thing. Its people like me that need to be sterilized. But yet we keep breeding like rabbits and goldfish.

so onto other matters. I don't know about any of you, but I really hate TV commercials. They are kind of like a nasty bout of runny diarrhea. But hence, we still have to live with it once in a while.

I notice on ads for weight loss products, be it Weight Watchers , nutri system, or what have you, that when they show the person who has lost weight they state in small letters..*results not typical*....

My question is this, if paying for your crap isn't going to help anyone lose weight, why do you think we would want to buy it? Sure..The woman who lost 500 pounds using Nutri system, that might not be a typical result, not everyone is that motivated. But when they show a woman who lost 15-20 pounds and they still say that *results aren't typical* it makes me wonder what the whole point of their ad was. What are you trying to sell me? If it isn't typical to lose weight while paying a small fortune for your product, why the hell would we want to buy it? It is just more proof to me that this planet we live on is inhabited with morons and retards. I see it everyday. If not at the DMV then on TV or hell...At church. RETARDS ALL ARE WE...We must stand united in the fight against stupid people.

Another thing that pisses me off...

yup there is more folks..Sorry

When I spend , lets say 4 bucks on a bag of Baked Lays Cheddar and Sour Cream chips and then open the bag and it is less than half full. Why do they sell half eaten bags of chips? When I spend money on my Baked LAys or Sun Chips even, I expect to pay for the whole product, not a half eaten bag.

Same thing with cereal. I did not pay for a half a box of raisin Bran or coco Puffs. I paid for a full bag. Maybe on small print somewhere on the bag it says *having a full bag of these crap is not typical* Am I missing the boat here. I want my moneys worth. If I am paying indeed for a full bag, you better give me a full damn bag. I don't have that kind of time to read all the fine print on the crap they sell at the store. If it indeed says on the bag that I am only paying for half a bag, then I hang my head in shame.

Now when it says "contents may settle during shipping" I do not count that as a half eaten bag. To me that means the sweaty , bald guy delivering the stuff to the store might of sat on the bag and crushed all my chips. Like they have settled to the bottom of my bag. But maybe it means he eats it..I don't know...If anyone knows anything about this..Please inform me..

I am a tad on the slow side as well..Thank you.


Ok, something weird is happening, as I am sitting here with my butt and boob sweat typing this I have this strange person IMing me on yahoo. I don't know them, nor do I know how the found me. They have bothered me for a week now, but I just ignored them. Today I finally asked what the hell they wanted.

So he asked me if I work in law enforcement...How the hell would he even know this. I mean I have worked in law for 2 weeks now.

He then goes on to say he wants some advice, that he has been stalking some women and he cant stop. He goes into all the details of how he gets pleasure out of doing this and wants to know if I can help him. He wants me to turn him in.

Now I don't know who this person is or if they are even telling me the truth. And I don't want to be involved in any of this. But then if he is telling the truth and he is planning to do harm to these women, and he asking me to turn him in before he does...What the hell.. Now he says he wants me to call him. Damn, if Bossy ends up MIA this is what happens when you talk to someone you don't know...I normally do not do it, but this person has been coming on to talk to me a lot, and I just wanted to see what they wanted. I am a big fat Boob..Someone shoot me.. And dont talk to strangers people..remeber that..didnt Mr Rodgers once tell us that?..Why the hell didnt I listen?

Now I have a feeling I may have a stalker. I just pushed the ignore button. Hopefully he can not talk to me anymore. But now I am a tad freaked out. He lives in PA..Or so he says.

Damn...PEOPLE....Don't come to me with this stuff...I have enough crazy to deal with. Have you READ my blog?...damnitalltoheck.

I will keep you posted on this if need be. I told you this planet was run by morons and retards. My point gets more valid as I keep breathing.

Bee Real

ok let me add that I did NOT call him, nor did I even give him the chance to give me his number. this converstaion took place in the span of 15 miuntes and after a while I pushed the ignore button so he could no longer talk to me. I never had any intetions on calling this person, nor talking to them in any great length. And he has not been able to contact me since...yet anyway.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Blame it on the rain

So it has been discussed that ole Bossy needs to get a MN drivers license before I end up with a huge fine or spending nights at my place of employment..without pay mind you....Beings that my mother also needs to get one, I sent her up there first so I would know how hard the test is.

Now most US states have plenty of common sense. Hell, most have Seceraty of State offices which are open 5 days a week, some have DMV's that are open 5 days a week. This state? We go to the national Armory office...All week you ask?..Nah...That would be much to easy. Only time you can take the test is Tuesdays between 10am and 11:15 am...Then u need to go to the court house and get your photo snapped. It is not only NOT a one stop shop, but its only a one day per week, one hour 15 minute shop. Who the Sam bloody hell can work that in and get it done in 90 days after moving here? I tell you, the state of MN is run by complete Morons. Shall I even dare to call them..Butt-wades? Maybe its just this county or my city...But I have never heard of such an ordeal.

My mom went up there and they told her she needs a copy of BOTH her marriage papers as well as the divorce papers as well as her birth certificate. She has been divorced from my dad since 1987...And from what I like to call...her big, fat, huge mistake that I told you not to marry him..Begged you the day we went to the place where you wed..Mom! Please don't marry this asswipe...I am begging... marriage..She has been divorced from that big fat mistake since 1993..

So it is going to take me till next Tuesday to find this crap. I have been married since 1995 and I have a crappy filing system..Chances are I wont find my marriage license for months....Gawd I hate stupid people.

I told my good friends up at the Sheriffs dept about my traffic mishap..They asked where I got my ticket. As soon as I told them the highway and city, they bellared out the lady's name. I guess she has a reputation of that of a heartless puppy kicker. I think she may eat her own young.

They told me the reason it is not going on my record is because the city she works in is in such dire need for funds, that if you send your fine into them , they don't put it on your record.

If I would of known I was participating in some sort of fundraiser for that city, hell I woulda baked some pies or something...Not 137 bucks worth, but maybe at least 20.

So that's the story on that one.

Bossy was duped by a fundraiser gone arry.

My nine year old Butch Bee..God bless his soul. A few nights now we have found him out in the living room sleeping with the TV on. When he is questioned ..Or grilled rather, he chalks it up to sleepwalking.

So last night I get home at midnight, no TV..No kid on the couch. But when Mr shaky gets up in the morning he comes up to tell me we had another "sleepwalking mishap" and my son suddenly wound up on the sofa again.

I ask my sweet little boy how this has happened. He tells me he doesn't remember a thing. He told me he has amnesia and is not sure how he got there.

I told him for his own saftey I better start locking his door at night so there are no more mishaps. I then tell him that playing games on the X-Box can also trigger bouts of amnesia and that he better abstain from playing until his condtion clears up.

he then all of a sudden remembered what had happened and his amnesia was gone.

Thank you God for sparing the wrath of amnesia on my harmless little buttwad of a kid. He really means no real harm. He is just an addict of the electric vibes he feels from the small boxes in this house. I think 10 years at a good outreach program for little boys addicted to TV will do him good. I am getting his bags packed as we speak.

So this was my day wrapped up in a big nutshell. Not only am I still without a license, but my kid is suffering from amnesia and I was tricked into a fundraiser..

Well, now I have to go deal with the inmates. The one up on charges of first degree murder for killing his girlfriend has a crush on me. Wanna know how we all know?

because he doesn't call me a the f-word and he uses please and thank you when I speak to him.

I am giving him my phone number just in case things don't work out with Mr shaky. He should be out of prison..Say...NEVER.

Bee Real

Didn't I blow your mind this time

Well it seems the little bees in my hive are a tad more motivated than I. I go out to check the mail and I see on the corner in my front yard, a tiny table with a jug of MY water and 2 plastic kids cups on this table. I call one of the bees and ask what the Sam bloody hell is this mess in my yard. Blondie bee proceeds to tell me she was wanting to sell lemonade, but we have none, so is selling my water by the cup full. In our plastic cups that the dog has chewed on. I told her I was not happy and for her to get all the crap and bring it back into the house.

She wondered how on Earth she was going to sell anything that way.

I asked her how on earth I was gonna get the 4 dollars back it cost me for that jug of water.


I am in need of a day off. My work week started last wednesday where I worked 2 12 hour shifts and then worked 8 hour shifts all weekend. Now I am working Monday and Tuesday from 6pm till midnight at the sheriffs office. I am really way to lazy to work that much. I am so not working again this week after Tuesday.....And I am so NOT working the weekend. I keep repeating that over and over in my head. trying to convince myself if I am asked that I will think of some family member who has died.

Its so hot today that I am wearing under garments and still have acquired some butt sweat while sitting in my chair. Even some boob sweat, but that is not on the chair...Yet.

When I go to work, I am gonna bring my ticket with me, to see if there is any way I can get out of paying for it. Or maybe see if I can make a reservation for the cell I will be in if I don't pay it. I believe it was racial profiling. Well that is what my mom says.

And moms always know best right? Cop lady musta been looking to bust a big boobed blonde momma in a rocking hot 2003 dodge caravan. My poor sweet innocent van. It has been with me 3 years now, and has never seen a police man. And now has seen their like -ness one too many times in the last 2 months. When she sees them coming now, she gets the shakes..Poor baby.

Cops suck donkey balls....Big schweaty balls...

I will never get over the trauma of this.

Bee Real

Monday, July 24, 2006

Hangin tough...

Oh gosh, remember New Kids on the Block? Don't know why they just came to my mind. They remind me of all sorts of odd things. Summer of 1988 and 1989.., my first few boyfriends, sneaking out at night to meet my boyfriend at the city park and "deface" picnic tables....Um...I will leave it at that. I wanted to marry one or two of the New kids. Not the ugly ones, the good looking ones.

Anyhoo, now that stroll down memory lane is over, lets get back to business shall we? I worked over the weekend at the home with the mentally ill. A new girl was working there with me.

Now let me take you on a side story for a minute. I boldly admit I am lazy. In fact, I am pretty sure I am the lazinest person on the Earth. My fatness and lack of general motivation are clearly seen in this area. I am lazy. I would not wait on the bees if I were not legal bound to do so. In fact, it should be the other way around, they should be waiting on me. But that is beside the point of relativity here.

Sometimes I am so lazy I wont even change the roll of TP. I will just set it on the sink next to the pooper. Now that is lazy..Am I right?

I have always been lazy, this is not a breaking story or anything. I was birthed out that way. I have no motivation or energy to do stuff. Lazy, yup that's me. I would not be so fat if I were not so lazy. I know it. I deal with it. I accept my size 10/12 pants will more than likley live with me till I die..probably from not moving out of the way of a train or something, because I am that lazy. My house would be cleaner, no clutter or tiny pieces of lint stuck in the corner of my carpet. Lazy. And. Me.Go. Hand.In. Hand.

There, I said it, Bossy is lazy. Feels good getting that off my big chest. Again, why are the boobs so big? Because I was too lazy to use birth control and got knocked up, then too lazy to go get a boob reduction. See...Lazy.

Ok , so we have established I am lazy. I have made my case.

I thought I was the laziest gal / human on the Earth. Until this past weekend. I can safely say that I have witnessed the deep end of lazy. This girl puts me to shame.

So I am at my place of work with a new gal. Just me and her. What does she do when she gets in the door? Turns on the TV and watches 3 hours of Full House. While I do meds, lunch, cleaning, and answering the phones..Preparing the snack...She watches Full House then some weird shows on the WB network. I have never in my life watched the WB, and I can safely say it will never happen again.

A woman came with our groceries for the home , she honks when she pulls in the driveway because she is old and cant carry them in. I tell miss lazy that honk means we need to go out and get the stuff from the old lady.

" oh do you need help"

" well I am not sure how many bags she has, but come out and meet her so she knows who you are."

I go outside, get the bags..No lazy girl.

she is still on the couch watching the WB.

I turn the TV off, tell her to go clean the bathroom. She is gone for 10 minutes cleaning two bathrooms. Then she ploops back on the couch. I tell her that this TV is for the guys who live here, and we need to be making sure they don't want to watch anything..They normally watch TV down in the basement, but I was calling them all upstairs to watch TV, because miss lazy was getting on my last nerve.

They wanted to watch baseball. So that's what we did for 3 hours.

I now know what lazy is. I no longer will consider myself lazy. I a more motivationally challenged. Or decreased mobitilty sufferer.

I can just thank my lucky stars that I got this slap in the face. I now know what I do not want to become. It was ugly.

I think I could become a motivational speaker on the art of being lazy. But I now am turning a new leaf.

See, my leaf is slowly turning. I am working up a sweat. Being non lazy is hard work.

But what I don't get is I walk 4 miles everyday, sometimes more. But to walk from the living room to the kitchen just seems like so much damn work. And I don't like work.

Well I need to go lay down.

Bee Real

Friday, July 21, 2006

I hate everything about you!

So I went and got my ring put back in. It was not closed, just needed a little extra painful push is all. I drive nearly an hour one way to get this done, cause I am stupid like that.

On the way home I am minding my own business ,as always. I pull onto the highway that leads to my hive and out of the clear blue yonder I have lights in my mirror. I am thinking this better not be for me, or the cop better be worth looking at. I get my purse open so I am in easy reach of my lipgloss...

I pull to the side and see this is indeed meant for me. So I find my lipgloss, look out the window and see I am not going to be needing my lipgloss. Rather a Billy club.

it was a female. Female cops always give other females tickets..I don't know why, but they do..We are bitches, I guess that explains it.

So anyway, she asks me for my lisence and blah blah blah....She says I was going 55 in a 45.

your telling me you are pulling me over for THAT?....Oh hell no this is not happening.

Then it gets better, she says she is going to write me a ticket. And that since I don't have a MN license that she could issue me a ticket for that as well as impound my car.

But since she was a nice gal and all that she would just be giving me the speeding ticket.

hey lady, suck it.....I had a good looking cop 2 months ago not give me a ticket..He saw my charm. You suck.

so the wench gave me a 137 buck speeding ticket. I hate her.

I am so egging her house this Halloween.

So right now all cops suck. Stop pulling over mini vans with mommy's in them going to get their nose rings put back in..And go catch yourself some criminals for crying out loud. Isn't that what we pay you for?...Damn.

I better go pay my ticket before my boss has to book me in the county jail next week. I have a feeling I might get canned for that.

So what have we learned?

Cops suck
getting a nose ring re inserted hurts like hell
cops suck
and don't chew on your cheeks and not expect to get a canker sore

oh and cops suck

Bee Real

jailhouse rock

So my first night at the jail was slow..We only had two bookings in the night. There are around 50 inmates at the jail, and half of them are women. There are 3 murders, lots of druggies and drunks, and some attempted murder people. Just your run of the mill good citizens.

One poor feller brought in at 2am was brought in on 5 charges. He kept saying " I have never had so many charges in my life."

you dumb fool you should never have any charges against you dude. This guy was huge. Around 6'5 250 pounds. I was Leary of him. He kept telling the arresting officer he was full of sh*t and wanted to talk to his attorney.

When the officer was ready to leave he yelled " by dipshit", then the officer put him in lockdown.

I will be glad to get my two nights in to have one day off and to work the weekend at my other job.

Ok I am gonna get serious for a minute. One of my good blogging buddies is upset with me. I just want everyone to know to never take anything I say seriously. I say retard, fatty, porty, asswipe, buttcracks, ugly ass... ok I make fun of everyone. I never ever think I am offending anyone, I just figure everyone here knows I am full of shit. That's what I am, I am always full of shit. Please don't take anything I say the wrong way. I love all my blogging peeps and never ever want to make them feel bad.

So suck everyone, I am as politically incorrect as you can get. I don't mean any harm, and I am sorry if I offend anyone. mmkay?..Are we all on the same page?....

Ok now that is out of the way I need to go put on some under garments and get dressed. I am sitting here without any protection in the nether region area. I am getting butt sweat on my chair. I need to get my skanky uniform on and think about heading to work in a few hours..Lucky me, and lucky the inmates.

Have a wonderful weekend. I will be working my fatt ass off....Such as the life of a working...And it sucks,

oh and something is burning my britches.....I had to take my nose ring out last night. And I can not get the dang thing back in....It was only out 12 hours. I think I am gonna have to get it re done..but then everytime i work at the sheriffs I have to take it out..does anyone know if I can get a small plug or some sort of thing to jam in there to keep it from closing?.....damn i am mad as all heck.
Bee Real

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


I don't know if any of you read Rosie Odonnles blog, but she has a section where you can ask her a question. I got answered...Why?..I dunno?

go to

and click on ask ro...Mine is the first one..

ok back to our regular scheduled crappy bloggin..

Hello America

Ok, I am back. Def Leppard so kicked some major ass. For being nearly old enough to enter a nursing home, them boys still have IT. They put on a really great show, this is my 3rd time seeing them, and they only get better. I looked like a drunken fool while they were playing, I was in the aisle singing and dancing, I so love them.

But I made some notes to myself as to what people should and should not do.

don't wear tanks, or backless shirts if you have shoulder and or back acne, or are over weight. I don't like you flab bouncing about behind me.

If you do not think you can fit into a seat, gosh, don't buy a ticket. I saw more than one person not be able to fit into their chair. Please stop eating if you get to that point folks.

If you do not know the words to the song being sung, please keep your trap shut. I don't want you screaming in my ear. I did not pay to hear you sing out of tune or in my ear..But thank you anyway.

Well that is enough for now. I have my first night on the job tonight. I work from 6 pm till 6 am, and again Thursday night. So I wont be posting again till at least Friday.

I may not have looked slutty, but there was enough big girls dressed slutty enough to cover for me.

And pretty much the whole crowd were people my age or my moms age. Nothing like a bunch of drunken moms and grannys ohhing and ahhing over a 80's metal band 20 years after their prime.

but damn, they still have it. And I want some.

Bee Real

i am posting some pics below if u want to take a gander. or not. makes no never mind to me.

anohter one of my mom and I..arent we sluts....ok I know we arent, but just say yes to make me feel better.
my kiddies

i was trying to get a good shot of the one aremed drummer, but he pretty much stayed behind his drums the whole night..go figure...but thats him in red..he is amazing. you try and play the drums with one arm, then get back to me..
my kiddies

just anohter shot, Joe is drinking from a red cup..see?..
my kiddies

this is towrd the end. thier encore songs were Love Bites and Pour some sugar on me..I wanted to be sticky sweet.
my kiddies

see the one in white?..he is the one I wanted to father my kids. but then he had long curly hair. just like I did. how lame is that?..still good looking though;)
my kiddies

This is Joe Elliot, the lead singer..I was drooling over him the entire evening.And he isnt the one I wanted to marry back in the day. Thats how well he has aged.
my kiddies

ok, still not a good shot, so sue come here for free, dont complain.
my kiddies

Def Leppard. My camrea did not catch very good shots. But too bad.
my kiddies

OK, this is First Ave. It is the nightclub Prince shot Purple Rain at. He owned it, not sure if he still does. But thats it. Feel privlaged I showed you...mmmkay?
my kiddies

Hard Rock again. I love this guitar.
my kiddies

the big guitar in front of the Hard Rock.
my kiddies

There is the Hard Rock Cafe. It was very busy as you can imagine.
my kiddies

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

A rocking momma dn a rocking granny...we are as NOT slutty as they come..
my kiddies

Rock Star eyes.....nuf said..
my kiddies

ok, you can not go to a rock show without your proper rock glasses on...although I have not decided how i am for sure wearing my hair, this is just a preview or what i MAY look like when i it ok?
my kiddies

ok, I have slut glitter on my "bossom" area, i am afraid that is as slutty as she gets..I suck..sorry
my kiddies


So tonight is the night. As someone stated yesterday I am off to see a geriatric rock band. That hurt Suzie, I hope your happy. I did not go buy a new slutty shirt. I am going to dig through my heap of crappy clothes and see what I can find. Maybe I still have the shirt I wore back in 1987 when I went trick or treating as a punk rocker..I mean hooker.....I told the parents I was a punk rocker..For some reason being a hooker for Halloween was in back in the 80's.

Anyhoo, maybe before I leave I will snap a shot of what I may or maynot be wearing. Since they are old and feeble I better wear long sleeve and a hood. I don't want to aggravate their already delicate heart condtions...

And trust me, my bossoms are enough to knock anyone out. They are that big. NO really. They. Are.

There are some homeless people who have been sleeping in the park right down the street from us, and its troubling me. Sure its sad they are without homes, but that is not my issue as bad as that sounds.

My nine year old son should work for UNCEF or Save the Childrens Christian Fund. Everything we see these guys laying on the benches with paper over top their bodies, he asks me if they can live in our basement. His reasoning is simple.

We have a bedroom down there we don't use, plus there is a bathroom.

Oh how sweet your thinking. Well it gets better. He then follows that with..we can charge him 100 dollars rent a month, then in 3 months I will have enough money to buy an X-BOX 360.

Kinda melts your heart doesn't it?

I tell him the men have no jobs that is why they are homeless. His problem solving for this one is..

nervermind then

that's my boy, saving one homeless person at a time...

Boo Bee wanted me to teach her how to drive yesterday. When I told her I would not she was all sad and said.." Its easy momma, just twy"

Then she found a stick in the back yard grabbed her bucket and walked over to the pool. I asked her what she was doing she told me she was fishing. She put the stick in the water, pretended she was reeling a big one in, bright her pole over to the table I was sitting at, and said " dare momma, dats your dinner, a fish."

Thank you Boo bee, your pretend fish was ever so delightful and eating this way will surly get me down toa size 0 in no time.

Your the best..You always have my back..

Bee Real

Monday, July 17, 2006

Love bites

I think it is going to be Manic Monday..I can feel it in me bones sailor

So the weekend was a nice reminder of what hell will be like. I liked it. Everyone in my hive hated it. How did I become surrounded by incompetent heat haters? I will not lower myself to their standards. It was 110 yesterday at one point in the day...that was with the humid so thick you swear you saw monkeys jumping in the trees..Or any other animal from the tropical rain forest.

Maybe that is where I need to live. I need to move to Madagascar and live with the Lemurs and snakes so big where they could make a small meal out of me. I could live on coconuts, banana's and whatever else I find living under rocks and swampy areas. This diet alone will get me to a size 2....

tomorrow I get to go see Def Leppard and Journey. I told Mr Shaky I wanted to go buy a slutty shirt to wear to the event. He told me he was not impressed and that this would be the last time I would be able to wear slutty shirts.

Guess I have more slutty shirts then I thought..I was thinking I did not own any..I stand corrected.

My mom and I are going to enjoy a slutty dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe which is located across the street from where the entertainment will take place. Which is also across from the bar/night club Prince shot the movie Purple rain at....I may, for your viewing pleasure of course ,snap some shots of said landmarks. Minneapolis may not be known for much, but I will show you some of the small details..because I care that much..That's why I do the things I do for you people!

I will now show you the proper attire for when its 225 degrees outside. This is Boo, she wore this a lot over the weekend. I am thinking she may be more than slightly retarded, maybe borderline seasonal disorder

Mr Shaky swears by the hand of God he lost 2 pounds over the weekend because of the heat. I am going to suggest we get a sauna. Think how thin we would be if that were the case.

My boo is turning into the next Joan Beiz or Joni Mitchell if you will. She has taken up the art of playing folk music on her guitar. She has all sorts of matreial. I heard her "Ode to watermelon song" and lets not forget her " i like to pay da git-ar" song. She then hands it to me and asks me to play. I tell her I am not a muscian and can not play these box of wood. She then says " just twy momma, just twy"

I did try. I sang a wonderful randtion of such classics as " Somebody come and play with me" and " rubber ducky" also the classic " Id like to visit the moon"

Hello butt cracks at American Idol, I have all sorts of talent ozzing outta my bossoms and shorts, raise your age limit and I will give you a show you shant forget....

Right now Boo is swaying to the crap playing on The Lawrnece Welk show. Mr Shaky is poisning her tiny feable brain. I wont tell you what they are doing right now. Its way too damn embaressing.

Well I am off to find a slutty shirt. Don't ask me what that means for I really don't know. And if they ask me to join the band I will not be back. After they see my moves in my slutty shirt they may request I be a back up dancer. I know rock shows seldom have dancers. But trust me..It will happen. Or they will request I be removed from the premisces. It could go either way.

Bee Real

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Another one bites the dust

I just wanted to document our 110 degree day for you. Mr Shaky pants was all up in arms over the heat. Says it gave him massive diarrhea. I say he ate too much, but whatever.

Remember when I wrote about him wearing my old skanky maternity shorts as under garments , then putting shorts on over it and the skanky shorts spilling out from the bottom?...Well I have proof today my friends. Behold...This is what Bossy deals with.

Someone needs to tell him this looks wrong. He wont listen to me. See this is him not listening to me..

hello dude, its not a good look...

This is what the sky looks like when its 210 degrees out...Yup, its just blue, go figure.

Here is Boo bee thinking about swimming in the 300 degree heat......She would make a smashing swim suit model with that big budda belly.

This is her lounging on the deck after her swim..Wait she refused to swim because there was a dead fly floating in it. All morning she said "momma put on simming soup peese"....yes she says simming soup..its not a new Campbells dish, its the way she talks. She is slightly retarted mmkay!

Ok it wont let me do anymore, I will post them below using another program..Blogger get your head out of your glourois butt crack please..thank you..

Anyway, I have decided what my new diet is going to consist of. Are you ready for this?

Sugar free jello

fat free popcorn

diet dr pepper


all which are fat keep my blood sugar stable i will consume one bacon cheese burger per day.

I am uping my walk time from 4 miles a day to 6. I will walk my normal 4 around my lake, then 2 extra on my treadmill. Only days I do not waork though. I need to get to single digit pants. I am tired of wearing a 10/12..they suck....

Ok I am posting more pics at the bottom, please just humor and look...I know you hate it, but damn it....too bad.

Bee Real

this is boo bee parking her brothers cars on top of the cat. it was so hot my cat dint mind being a parking lot. and yes they are using my treadmill as a driveway.
my kiddies

my feet. See my deck? I am peeling all the paint off by hand. Becuase I like to work up a sweat. No power washers for me...i use the old fashion muslce power..I am woman. I like to work..sorry!
my kiddies

There is my Blondie Bee. The one who refuses any type of holes being stabbed into her ears. No college for you!
my kiddies

here is boo bee...aint she purty? this is her decked out in her simming soup people.
my kiddies

Tell me...Why

I think my mind is boggled down. That is where my humor has gone. Its boggled down. Has your mind ever been filled with so much diarrhea it makes you wonder if your smell is lingering to the innocent bystander?

If you have not experienced this euphoria I would compare it to LSD, only I have not tried that, so I can not be sure. I am in way promoting drug use.

So while my mind is fuddled and boggled I think odd things in my mind.

Why in the middle of summer do people complain about the heat? I mean its summer. It is normal to be in the high 90's or low 100's, for a few days anyway. Stop wasting time on the news telling us it is going to be hot. Its summer, we are not complete and utter idiots. Are we? Maybe we are, and I did not get the damn memo. You don't need to remind us to drink plenty of water and to go to a shady spot if we are hot.

But in the winter when its 50 below zero you also tell us to keep warm. Ok, you do think we are idiots. I just confirmed my own question, so I am not such an idiot after all.

Why does my six year old daughter refuse to get her ears pierced? She says she will wear them if they are magnets. She will pick up worms, catch cattipillers and rescue spiders from the wrath of me. But she wont get her ears pierced.
Is there any logic to that? I have offered her many rewards if she will do it. She refuses them all. Even a college education. I will be damned if I am paying for college now.

Why does my 2 year old daughter think that dancing around and singing "the doodlebops, the doodlebops" is entertaining to me in the least bit? She should know by now I am a die hard wiggle fan. The Blue wiggle. I repeat, the blue wiggle. I do love him so.

Why does Mr Shaky Pants feel the need to stare at me when I am watching TV or typing on my computer. Take a damn picture it will last longer.

Why does my dog pant in the heat but refuse to drink her water?

Why when I am on my yahoo messenger do I get these weird sickos pop up outta nowhere and want me to view their nekkid buttox? Or ask me if I wanna chat. Where do the weirdos of the cyberspace psycho wards find me? I attrack the scariest people. And I have no idea how they find me. I never go to chat rooms. I mainly talk with old friends, family or blog buddies. Granted a lot of those people are weird.

Why do I want to live on a diet of bacon cheeseburgers, chili and cheese fries and frostys from Wendys? That would not be good for my bowels nor my arteries. Yet, I crave these deadly treats.

Why does Weight Watchers suck? Why cant a cheeseburger be 2 points?

Why do I have the desire to consume a cake? A big cake.

Why is the age limit for Amercian Idol 28? They are coming to Minnapolis on Sept 8th. I could so win that damn show but I am too old. Its called age discrimination butt cracks. I am so getting a pettion going on this one.

See, this is why I have no humor right now. I have all these things on my mind.

Oh another one, why cant cable, phone, internet, cars and homes all be free? I would be ever so wealthy if they would change that system. My pocketbook would be over flowing with green if I did not have to pay for anything but concert tickets, plane tickets, food, clothing, and toilet paper.

I am willing to pay a good price for toilet paper. I like nice paper. I know its gets flushed down into the sewer, but I treat it likes its a form of rare gold. It keeps my bung hole clean and dry. It has a damn good purpose.

Ok, any advice to my ponders is greatly unnecessary.

I plan on laying in the 100 degree heat all weekend getting a suntan that will more than likely kill me in 20 years and leave me with wrinkles and sun spots. But I am also willing to pay good money for a chemical peel and a face lift. But not on sunblock. That should be free.

Bee Real

Friday, July 14, 2006

What have u done for me lately?


My sense of humor. If you see it please send a self addressed stamped envelope to

654 whathehell lane
Witchita , Kansas
not sure of the zipcode.

There is a handsome reward. Might not be monetary, just the fact you know you did a good deed should be compensation enough.

Maybe having two part time jobs but not working even 20 hours per week has drained me of all funniness. Maybe its the heat. Maybe it really does affect me. Kind of like a tick sucking your blood, but you don't know its there. And this is a side effect somewhat like lyme diease.

I may need prozak, or maybe a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Maybe both. Maybe a 5th of some sort of hard liquor. Maybe some street drugs.

I may have to do some experimenting just to figure out the combination.

My butt and legs are sore. I cant sit. I am not sure what I did. But I need some good looking man to rub some ben gay on me. A man with oil and lots of muscles, because I need lots of kneading. I mean my butt and legs need kneading.

Ok I am off to find my sense of humor. If you happen to see it call me at

no need to dial a 1 first. Its my direct line.

Bee Real
see previous post for reason i am saying this...acctually see my last weeks worth. I am having an off week. aww, well....


Man I hate that movie...And song, anyhoo..

I have some sort of injury. Not a life threatening one by any means, but one none the less. I don't know how or why, but something went arry somewhere Wednesday. I am not sure if it was performing my life saving skills on my Annie doll during CPR training, or when I attempted to jog the other night at the lake trying to get the dead snake out of my line of vision, whatever happened it is not good.

My upper thighs and buttox area are tender. I can not sit without complaining. Its almost like having hemorrhoids, I don't want to sit. But it is my muscles. Maybe I have huge roids on my muscles. I don't know. But I need some been gay and good looking man to rub it in for me.

My Blondie Bee is rather gifted. This morning she walks out of doors, looks up at the sunny, clear blue sky and takes a big deep breath. She looks at the trees, takes another sniff of the air, then proceeds to tell me we are in for a storm today. I tell her she is nuts. Its clear skies, a high of 96..No rain in the forecast, in fact we are having a very bad drout. My grass is crunchy and has not needed to be mowed in weeks.

But I will be damned if 3 hours later they did not post a severe thunderstorm watch. Sometimes these kids are retards, sometimes there are gifted retards.

We played a very dysfunctional game of beach volleyball yesterday afternoon. One side is me and Blondie. Other side is Butch and my mom, Boo bee was over at the sidelines putting sand down her diaper and in her hair.

My mom would wail the ball over, I would run to try and hit it, my son would say he was forfeiting because he hates doing anything that requires him to move.

I get the ball, spike it over, boo bee is crying because I wont let her play with her Dora ball. I tell her to sit down and be quiet, its my ball now. She cries some more.

My Butch starts to leave the game, I tell him to get his butt back there and not move.

So the whole rest of the game he stays stationary. He even lets the ball hit his big, fat head. I tell him "hit the damn ball". He then reminds me I told him to stand there and not move.

Then Boo is screaming again because I wont let her touch her ball.

this is what family outings are like here.

Not only do I force my son to play a riveting game of volleyball with two fat ladies plodding in the sand trying to smack my 2 year olds Dora ball, but I wont even let my two year old touch her ball. I throw her some rocks and tell her to "hush now, momma is busy."

My kids are gonna need lots of therapy.

Have a good weekend.

Our skin will be melting off our faces this weekend. Its gonna be in the 100's here. I love heat but I hate the smell of melting flesh. I just can't win.

Bee Real

Thursday, July 13, 2006

IM too sexy

what's grosser than gross? Not seeing the body of a dead snake but rather its head and torso area. And not a lot of of the torso. Second damn night in a row I saw a dead snake, or parts of a dead snake. I need to find a new path. I need to start walking in Siberia I guess..DAMN!

Have you ever experienced heat so hot you are sure your face is melting like a crayon you left too close to the heat duct? I have not either, but I guess everyone in my house is feeling that way. It is pushing near 100 degrees here, and I tell them " its summer bitches, come on now."

I have to brush up on all the curse words I know. And I am trying to download ones I may have never heard of. I am sure soon I will here terms spew at me that I have no idea of the meaning. In case it may be a complement, I need to know, so I can give the proper props for it. For years I thought fat was bad, but if you spell if phat it means something different. So you can say "sup, bitch, that's phat!"
Now depending on who you say that too it can mean a term of endearment, or you could have your self slapped with a slander suit. How do you know? My best advice is to never use bitch and phat in a sentence unless your talking about your dog in heat or a chubby baby.

I am so not hip to the jargon today. I am not sure what terms these kids on meth are using today. I need to start learning their gang signs. And who thinks up these gang signs? My guess is someone who has not the ability to hold a writing utensil with a proper grip. They are usually sqiggly lines and circles or something foolish. I need to learn the proper hand gestures. I need to be able to greet my pose inmates with the right hand signals. I may be a hip white girl, but I am not up on all this. I am a slacker in this area. I don't like being an outcast, even in the criminal circles.

The truthiness of it all is that I have no damn clue what I am getting myself into. I have dealt with crazies, oldies, uglies, kiddies and whatever else. I may have even had a run in once or twice with a mob boss, I don't know.

Anyway, here is hoping none of them have the ability to read, and have the smarts to look my address up in the phone book and pay me a visit when they are done serving their time in the slammer. This where I hope our school systems have failed.

Is that so wrong?

Bee Real

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Cuts like a knife

well as I stated in my last post I am the new Corrections Officer in this crappy county. I will try and save one Meth kid at a time. I am not a freaking miracle worker.

The next few days are going to be very yucky. First off I have to be up at the sheriff's dept at 8am Wed. Then Wednesday night I am working midnights at my "crazy house." I work from midnight till 8am. Then Thursday morning when I get out of there I head back up to the sheriffs dept again for my paper work. I am gonna try and work in a nap in the next 72 hours if I can. So if my posts become few and far between in the next few days, please forgive me. And if I don't stop by your place, please don't cast me out. I am working for a living damn it..Cut me a damn break.

My Butch bee and my mom were watching a TV show about the new pirate movie with Johnny Depp. My son tells my mom that I think Johnny Depp is dreamy. One day I told him jokingly that me and Mr Depp were suppose to be married, but I ended up turning him down and marrying his dad. For a few minutes I think he believed me. He said I should of married Johnny Depp cause he is a millionaire and I like money.

I saw a dead snake last night on my walk. From now on I am hovering. It did not sit well with me. Anything without legs does not sit well with me. But then I don't like centipedes either. So I don't like things with legs either. Maybe it must have fur. Ok I take that back. I hate bats. I hate rats.

Oh, speaking of bats, the night before we left for our road trip to Michigan we had a bat in the house. Then one night while I was sleeping nicely on my dads couch, one was flying over my head and my dads cat caught it. I woke my dad up, told him he had a bat. We followed the sucker into the kitchen where my dad and his manly ways started beating it with the broom. He left a blood trail.

When Mr shaky catches them, he does it humanly. So the sons a bitches can get back in.

I like my dads way better.

Death to bats, rats, bugs and snakes....Which sums up much of my family and some in laws.

Am I right people?

Bee Real

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


May I have your attention please.....

You are now speaking to officer Bossy..That's right. I am the new Corrections Officer of this county, with the Meth trouble..

I got a call this morning from the sheriffs office asking if I was still intersted. I said "yes, I am sir."

He said " its yours then."

I know they interviewed a good 20 people. Why they chose me? Not sure..They must know I am a bad ass...

So watch your p's and q's folks, or I will come use my handcuffs and my strip search techniques on you...

Be afraid, be very afraid...

Bee Real

Kids wanna rock

I am smart. As I was watching VH1 last night I realized I have been wasting all these years trying to conform to what society refers to as "crap we need to know." When in deed all I need to know is summarized in two words. Pop Culture. I have been thinking for years of ways to get on Jeopardy. Now I don't need to get all smart and crap, I can win millions being dumber than a box of rocks. And I have proven it while watching this show. I am dumber than a box of rocks. I am not afraid to say it.

As long as I know who played with Kitty Kerry-all and who Eric Clapton wrote his song Layla about, I am good to go. I am the goddess of pop culture. Sorry, but your not.

As I sit here Mr Shaky is getting on my last damn nerve. He is so needy between the hours of 8pm-till he starts to drool on the pillow. He needs constant attention. He is like a puppy. A puppy who keeps nudging you so you keep petting it. Or kicking it, whatever your way of life is. He doesn't stop talking. I am about to smother him with his pillow.

Want to hear something very sad. The company that runs our mental health houses that I work at have been asked to build an adolesecnt home for young boys. Not young boys with your average bad ass attiudes , but kids who have Meth problems. The home will house 10 boys ages 12-14. Our city has a HUGE Meth problem. It starts about in 4th grade for some. My Butch will be in 4th grade, and this scares the crap out of me. I have heard different rumors about the meth situation here, but I guess it is worse than I had thought. When I was in school kids would sneak a pack of their parents smokes and try and smoke one without choking on it. In 4th grade we never would of dreamed of talking about drugs. We were busy playing spin the bottle and being afraid to kiss a boy for the first time, not about finding our dealers and getting high. Getting high to us was going to fast on the swing at recess or hanging upside down on the monkey bars so the blood would race to your head.

What the hell is going on in the world today? The planet is going to shit so fast. Not only do we have to worry about our kids being kidnapped out of their yards while playing with their balls and barbie dolls, but also getting involved with drugs at 10 years old. And I must say, I see young kids walking by smoking. I swear I have seen junior high kids smoking. It makes me sick. And another thing we have a lot here are little girls getting pregnant. One girl I worked with at target said that 6 of her friends have either had babies or about to have one.

We need a woman running this country. Women don't take crap, and we wont settle for crap. Amen.

Now Mr shaky keeps coming up to me and licking my arm. What the hell is wrong with him. I better fill up his water dish or something. It must be a full moon. Everyone is crazy, Even the crazies at work are in rare form. Today the delima was going to a rodeo. He thinks he is a cowboy.

Bee Real