Why oh freakin why

why is it that 2 days after I buy a feeaking head of lettuce..It is covered with this slime shit and turning gray?.....

Wonder if anything spooky will happen today?...Ya no..Being Friday the 13th and all...Maybe all 3 of the kids will behave...No fights.....My luck the fucking sky will start falling and a big piece will land right square on top of me..I will be calling for help,but none will hear as everyone has taken shelter...My cell wont work cause all the towers have been struck by a lighting force so powerfull all the pacemakers in the world will stop working...I will be left there...To die...Oh well..Such as life