Saturday, July 01, 2006

Right here waiting

I figured I would do a real post, I poisoned you enough with my photo vomit and I apologize.

Well while I was away on my "trip" I think I came back carrying about 10 extra pounds. Since I have been home I am not helping the cause much. Unless eating an entire block of pistachio fudge and a half a block of peanut butter fudge are part of a healthy breakfast, I am fine. I feel all fropy . That feeling mostly resembles what I think being a bowl of jello would feel like. Fropy. I just made that up..I am going to copyright it.

A few of my family folk back in the home land told me my sister made remarks about how bossy my Boo Bee is. Yes, she is bossy. This is her daily vocabulary:

faster momma
that's mine
im sick of it
I said no
peeese momma
no momma, I don't wanna do it
stop it now

I would not say she is bossy, just a bit demanding, the girl knows what she wants..Its called being a woman of the 80's people..

Between my bloated fropy body, my sober mind and pre pms hormonal imbalance, during my trip I wanted to knock my sisters block off.

She is the most lazy and irresponsible person I know. When I say lazy, I mean think of the fattest sloth, combine it with your lazy cousin on welfare..(we all have one) then add a dash of Roseanne....That's her..

She weighs a good 250, she has always been chubby or portly if you will. But when her belly roll hangs to her knees and she pats it while lifting up her shirt saying " boy, this baby is really giving me trouble" I want to body slam her. She has no trouble picking her ass, her nose..(and eating it) and has a habit of sitting in a chair with her hands down her pants while yelling four letter curse words at the kids. The whole time while she stayed at my grandparents house she had my grandma do her dirty laundry and cook and do all the dishes...That burns my britches. She has no respect or moral dignity whatsoever. It is very dis heartening. We were not raised that way and she is a total embarrassment. She is my Rodger Clinton or Billy Carter..Or hell she is my George W. Bush..We are not a political family, but I am just making a point..mmkay?

It is hot here. It is the kind of heat that may or maynot melt your face off. Ok, its only in the 90's, but that is with 90% humidity. I love this weather, but everyone is my house is a big fat wuss because they all are complaining about it. When I make my voyage to hell, I hope its a dry heat though, I really hate having sticky skin.

Well I hope everyone has a safe Holiday weekend. Mr Shaky is off for a four day weekend..I hope I don't have to scrape his drunken bum off the deck or out of the bonfire this weekend. That boy cant hold his booze...And I hope he doesn't try and light fireworks while intoxicated, that will just give the neighbors something to talk about...I mean the sirens coming to out the fire out will wake everyone up..

ok, he really does not drink but the story sounded like it had the potential to be a fun one...Now that would be a holiday to remember.

Bee Real

19 comments:

Peggy said...

yeah I am first for once!!! have a great weekend and have a drink for me. With the grandkid here I am being a good sober person for this 4th

eyes_only4him said...

peggy,
well whats your drink of choice and i will get er done;)

have a wonderful weekend with the grandkids;)

Unknown said...

so I take it you and your sister don't get along? and I take it she doesn't read your blog? ;)

I be a quick one, me is.

And yes, my kids just got out of school. We go til the end of June here in Canada. Today was their last day! (But we don't go back til after Labour day in September)

pack of 2 said...

your sister sounds just lovely...LMAO...WTF?

You must be happy to be home huh?

Shangie

Margie said...

I really like your blog...
I really like the music you have
on it.
The song you have on this post
"you had a bad day"
sure applies to me today... but I love the song.
Your sister sounds charming... NOT!
Have a nice week-end.

Karin said...

your sister and my sister in law sound like the same person, except my sister in law has 4 worthless kids and a grandkid. Next time you have to see her let me know and I will loan you some rope and my bat and you can tie her up and beat her like a pinata. Where does she get off saying any critism against your bees?

eyes_only4him said...

mrs d,
no she does not read it, and even if she did, this is crap I tell to her face anyway;)

shangie,
lovely indeed, I am just kicking my own ass for not taking a picutre of ehr while i was there..

samruu999,
well hello and thanks for stopping by..I acctaully hate this song, but its all i could come up with..haha..and charming does not even begin to describe her:)

karin,
well my sister has 2 small ones and one she is hording in her belly roll that hangs to the floor..and I would love the rope..and beating her with a pinata sounds more than a good idea.

Deb said...

..."This baby's gonna give me trouble!" HAHAHAHAAAA!!!! See, I love those type of people, because it's so opposite of my family who are very conscience of their appearance and 'status', so seeing someone be themselves is quite a relief to me. I find it funny and I love gravitating to people who sort of ....well....those 'debris blanc' folk, if you will... to say it with a better choice of words. ;) They're always interesting. Like bugs under a microscope. Not to insult your family--but it's funny. Have fun with it... And don't be embarrassed, she's responsible for her own behavior which does not reflect upon you.

Anyway, EVERY vacation, I put on ten pounds, then come back home and I'm STILL starving. Then I put on another few extra flabby pounds. Ugh, I so need to renew my gym membership!

Enjoy your 4th of July weekend! Have a safe and enjoyable time!!!

Kendra Lynn said...

I hope you have a happy 4th of july!
ARen't you glad you are home now?
LOL
You don't have to deal with "extended" family...lovely. :)

eyes_only4him said...

deb,
I am glad you can see the humor in that:)..she is so the black sheep, I might have a few cousins who have the same mentality, but no one holds a candle to her..its like my own freak reality show..damn good thing we dont live in the same section of the country..

kendra,
well i guess i would rather be here than watching her flabby belly hang out and witness her patting it..haha

Unknown said...

debris blanc! I am so there!

Anonymous said...

Bossy,
You can pick your ass and your nose, but you can't pick your family. Trust me, I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

Yes we all have em, mine is my cousin. Thankfully she is starting to get her shit together 4 (5 total with his) kids later and got her GED along with her medical assistant certification, and thankfully again she's never picked her nose lol.

KrazyMom said...

How dare she criticize your little "Boo". My great nephew pointed to about 10 adult family members at a gathering today and yelled, "You all is losers!"...and he was pissed off when he said it too. Now that is mouthy!! I think he has your Boo beat.

Doesn't sound like your sister has changed much. It pisses me off when people like that can have children so easily and people like my hubby and I can't have anymore!!

eyes_only4him said...

gette,
ok now your confusing me..i think u get some sick pleasure out of that..

jerry,
AMEN..

angel,
i dont see any hope for my sister..its sad really..nose picking and all..

kelly,
great nephew? damn woman your younger than i am..haha

If my boo is bossy she comes by it honestly;)

KrazyMom said...

By a day...and don't you forget it!! :)

Twisted Lady said...

I loved the pictures! Especially the crack. I was so excited to see the crack and I was not disappointed. I would say it sounds like you had a good trip, but I'm not so sure, so I'll just say, you had a trip.

Anonymous said...

ok, i was going to SAY, i hope a seminary student is not drunkenly setting off fireworks. thats would just be weird.

so, you gained weight, you got to hang around the sloth, and you are hot and sweaty. does that sum it up? you need a vacation

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Thanks for sharing all those photos ... they were great. The crack was a hoot ... teehee.
Like your word "fropy" ... think I may have to use that one, thank you !!
Shame we can pick our friends, but not our family, isn't it !?!?
Have a wonderful 4th of July.
Take care, Meow