Thursday, July 13, 2006

IM too sexy

what's grosser than gross? Not seeing the body of a dead snake but rather its head and torso area. And not a lot of of the torso. Second damn night in a row I saw a dead snake, or parts of a dead snake. I need to find a new path. I need to start walking in Siberia I guess..DAMN!

Have you ever experienced heat so hot you are sure your face is melting like a crayon you left too close to the heat duct? I have not either, but I guess everyone in my house is feeling that way. It is pushing near 100 degrees here, and I tell them " its summer bitches, come on now."

I have to brush up on all the curse words I know. And I am trying to download ones I may have never heard of. I am sure soon I will here terms spew at me that I have no idea of the meaning. In case it may be a complement, I need to know, so I can give the proper props for it. For years I thought fat was bad, but if you spell if phat it means something different. So you can say "sup, bitch, that's phat!"
Now depending on who you say that too it can mean a term of endearment, or you could have your self slapped with a slander suit. How do you know? My best advice is to never use bitch and phat in a sentence unless your talking about your dog in heat or a chubby baby.

I am so not hip to the jargon today. I am not sure what terms these kids on meth are using today. I need to start learning their gang signs. And who thinks up these gang signs? My guess is someone who has not the ability to hold a writing utensil with a proper grip. They are usually sqiggly lines and circles or something foolish. I need to learn the proper hand gestures. I need to be able to greet my pose inmates with the right hand signals. I may be a hip white girl, but I am not up on all this. I am a slacker in this area. I don't like being an outcast, even in the criminal circles.

The truthiness of it all is that I have no damn clue what I am getting myself into. I have dealt with crazies, oldies, uglies, kiddies and whatever else. I may have even had a run in once or twice with a mob boss, I don't know.

Anyway, here is hoping none of them have the ability to read, and have the smarts to look my address up in the phone book and pay me a visit when they are done serving their time in the slammer. This where I hope our school systems have failed.

Is that so wrong?

Bee Real


Cliff Morrow said...

You could be part of a new Bonnie and Clyde. BB and Clyde.
Good luck on this one.

Karin said...

Well I could help you out with California slang but I am not sure it is the same. Maybe all those snakes are a sign, or perhaps a clever marketing skeem for Samuel L Jacksons new movie "Snakes on a PLane" I would consider having my numbers unlisted while working with the criminal element.

JD's Rose said...

Interesting. I thought we were supposed to have scary stuff like that...

Jewl said...

I used to work with kids in gangs before I had my Monster. The gang signs they throw up are different and change.... I am sure they will go through what to look for. I had a police officer bring in some drugs so I would know what to look for... I didn't have a clue what anything looked like so how could I tell if a kid had something on them? As far as learning what they are saying... that is the worse part!! It is horrible and they only way you are going to learn it is to be around them. My only advise to you is don't act like a bitch in there... it won't work. Stay calm and don't show any emotions. You can Earn their respect by not being a bitch and still showing that you mean what you say. That way you will have an easier time and you might be able to get through to them. Remember these kids today have a lot of problems, they might act hard but allot of them just want to be cared about... Good luck.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

are u gonna be my partenr then?..

i was thinking of the un;isted number thing..but gosh if they got a hold of a an old phone book its there.. and no more snakes..

gosh i was thinking of moving down under cause i thought it was safe;)

i am not working with kids..i am working with adult convicts at the county jail..i book um, and strip search kids..

but your theroy on not being a bitch is a good one..for the kids..for the convitcs, well they dont care either way, they are pissed off they are there..and being a bitch is in my nataure..its kinda scary:)

Kendra Lynn said...

Wow..sounds like you are going to have some fun! LOL
More power to ya...I'm going to stay at home and keep my kiddos safe from criminals.


Jodes said...

love the new look, I bet I know who helped you with it!!! Melis???

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

good plan..haha

well it isnt so new, i have had it for 6 months, and yes meils did it..not sure what the hell has happend to her..i hope she is ok..havent seen her around in 2 months..

Lady Noelle said...

Sometimes, 'kids', now refer to getting braces on their teeth as getting a 'grill'... Or something like that.

'Hooking up' is having sex.

'PHAT', really isn't said anymore. And it stands for pretty hot and tempting.

Yeah, I'm 20 years old and I don't even know what the 'kids' are talking about sometimes.

~Deb said...

Ummm...... GET AN A/C UNIT!!!!!!! I tell ya, one more bad hair day and that's it! I look like a raccoon if I apply a little too much make up than I oughta'----and then my hair frizzes out like Crusty the Clown's.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

lady ,
wiat, your 20?..for real?...i so hate you now!

well i would get central air, only i have elcetric heat so that means i would have to put in all the duct work..which means about 20,000.

plus it is only hot here about 3 months of the year. my 2 window air condiotns get us by. but i like it hot.

i have bone straight hair, so i never have a bad hair day;)

Mrs. Diamond said...

yikes i hadn't quite thought about all that stuff yet. we had some gang symbols graffitied on our camper. I was not happy. Not one bit.

Meow said...

Good luck with the bad words ... should be fun learning !!
Take care, Meow

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