Saturday, July 15, 2006

Tell me...Why

I think my mind is boggled down. That is where my humor has gone. Its boggled down. Has your mind ever been filled with so much diarrhea it makes you wonder if your smell is lingering to the innocent bystander?

If you have not experienced this euphoria I would compare it to LSD, only I have not tried that, so I can not be sure. I am in way promoting drug use.

So while my mind is fuddled and boggled I think odd things in my mind.

Why in the middle of summer do people complain about the heat? I mean its summer. It is normal to be in the high 90's or low 100's, for a few days anyway. Stop wasting time on the news telling us it is going to be hot. Its summer, we are not complete and utter idiots. Are we? Maybe we are, and I did not get the damn memo. You don't need to remind us to drink plenty of water and to go to a shady spot if we are hot.

But in the winter when its 50 below zero you also tell us to keep warm. Ok, you do think we are idiots. I just confirmed my own question, so I am not such an idiot after all.

Why does my six year old daughter refuse to get her ears pierced? She says she will wear them if they are magnets. She will pick up worms, catch cattipillers and rescue spiders from the wrath of me. But she wont get her ears pierced.
Is there any logic to that? I have offered her many rewards if she will do it. She refuses them all. Even a college education. I will be damned if I am paying for college now.

Why does my 2 year old daughter think that dancing around and singing "the doodlebops, the doodlebops" is entertaining to me in the least bit? She should know by now I am a die hard wiggle fan. The Blue wiggle. I repeat, the blue wiggle. I do love him so.

Why does Mr Shaky Pants feel the need to stare at me when I am watching TV or typing on my computer. Take a damn picture it will last longer.

Why does my dog pant in the heat but refuse to drink her water?

Why when I am on my yahoo messenger do I get these weird sickos pop up outta nowhere and want me to view their nekkid buttox? Or ask me if I wanna chat. Where do the weirdos of the cyberspace psycho wards find me? I attrack the scariest people. And I have no idea how they find me. I never go to chat rooms. I mainly talk with old friends, family or blog buddies. Granted a lot of those people are weird.

Why do I want to live on a diet of bacon cheeseburgers, chili and cheese fries and frostys from Wendys? That would not be good for my bowels nor my arteries. Yet, I crave these deadly treats.

Why does Weight Watchers suck? Why cant a cheeseburger be 2 points?

Why do I have the desire to consume a cake? A big cake.

Why is the age limit for Amercian Idol 28? They are coming to Minnapolis on Sept 8th. I could so win that damn show but I am too old. Its called age discrimination butt cracks. I am so getting a pettion going on this one.

See, this is why I have no humor right now. I have all these things on my mind.

Oh another one, why cant cable, phone, internet, cars and homes all be free? I would be ever so wealthy if they would change that system. My pocketbook would be over flowing with green if I did not have to pay for anything but concert tickets, plane tickets, food, clothing, and toilet paper.

I am willing to pay a good price for toilet paper. I like nice paper. I know its gets flushed down into the sewer, but I treat it likes its a form of rare gold. It keeps my bung hole clean and dry. It has a damn good purpose.

Ok, any advice to my ponders is greatly unnecessary.

I plan on laying in the 100 degree heat all weekend getting a suntan that will more than likely kill me in 20 years and leave me with wrinkles and sun spots. But I am also willing to pay good money for a chemical peel and a face lift. But not on sunblock. That should be free.

Bee Real





18 comments:

Cliff Morrow said...

Too many deep thoughts BB. How am I supposed to go to sleep now with all of your problems floating around in my head??
btw, men stare at good looking women. We can't help it.

deni said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting.

What an interesting post. ROTF.

ninibeans said...

OK I'm stupid, but what does ROTF mean?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cliff,
sorry cliff. i did not want to disrupt your sleeping.

i have issues:)

deni,
i am an intresting gal..stop by again:)

ninibeans
it means rolling on the floor.

Kendra Lynn said...

Wow...lol. Amazing thoughts, truly.
It would be lovely if we didn't have to pay for internet and cell phones. I'd be alot richer as well.
As far as tanning goes, my hubby won't allow it. I had a form of skin cancer a few years ago, and he is terrified of melanoma. Even though that was NOT what I had.
Go figure.
Sigh.

Kendra

Fantastagirl said...

I've been here - stop by just about every day (between 9:30 and 10 pm)

I don't always leave comments - but I'm lurking... that's what working full time has reduced me to - a lurking blogger - who posts and reads at night - next week will be worse - as I have to work during the day and night - don't these people realize that they are cramping my style?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

kendra,
i know your lying, nothing amazing bout these thoughts..

and i know the sun is bad..but i cant help it..

fantstagirl,
ok, i feel better seeing your face now..i thought you ran away or soemthing..and I totally understand. I do miss you when you dont stop by for a day or so;)

kaliblue said...

I found myself giggling while reading your deep thoughts. You're a riot..:-)I was reading up on your blog last night, and now I'm addicted to it:-). You do have me thinking, that when we walk outside we usually go, "Man, it's soo hot out today isn't it?". Well duh!!! You make perfect sense, but it is the way you say it all that makes me laugh. Thanks!!

Jerry said...

Bossy,
I think a day in the hot sun will melt away your crankiness. Or maybe a heat stroke will fry your brain some. Either way, you won't be questioning WHY so much.

Buy cheap paper towels, but get the expensive toilet paper...with aloe. Your bung hole will thank you.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

kaliblue,
why thank you my dear..nice to have you here...please stop by whenver you feel the need to giggle at someone elses expense..haha,,glad to have you on board;)

and it is a hot one today..heehee

jerry,
i think mr shaky pats is hoping it fries as well..i think i have een driving him crazy..

on the paper towels, i like the kid you cna use over and over..i think they are bounty..i like to get my moneys worth out of it..and i like the ones that have different sizes..

i am a mother earth killer..i like paper products;)

pack of 2 said...

I can''t believe your daughter won't get her ears pierced. I was begging for that when I was a kid.

Every yr in Oregon, we get reminded about sneaker waves & drownings...people still die by the truck loads...I guess that is why they keep talking about it.
Bossy, you give people too much credit...trust me, they can be very stupid. Some really need the reminders about heat, cold, etc.

Shelly

Lady Noelle said...

I think it is in our nature to complain. And yes, the weather people think we are stupid.

Is your daughter a tom boy or maybe she just thinks getting her ears pierced will hurt? They kinda do. I got my 3rd holes pierced nearly a month ago and their still healing.

Your 2 year old sounds like a cutey.

Who's Mr. Shaky Pants? Your husband? LOL!

Your dog is just a weirdo.

And weirdo people are out there everywhere! And they are looking for normal people to rub off on.

MMM, bacon cheeseburgers, cake, it's all good.. Dieting sucks! I go right for the exercise.

And yeah, it sucks that everything we need cost so much money.

Keep your chin up and smile! even if you don't want to.

Thanks for the comments cheeka!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

shelly,
same here, people die in the winter cuz they dont wear hats and then they go baoting in the summer and drink, fall over baord and die..its hard to belive people are that stupid, but your right..

my blondie bee is a wuss;)

lady,
my daughter is afraid of the pain AND she is a slight tombyoy, but she looks just like meg ryan..I swear to Gawd.its so weird.

my dog is weird and yes mr shaky is the hubby...

my 2 year old boo bee is pretty cute;)

i need to update my blogroll, have been meaning to for months and I am gonna add you as soon as I get off my ass and do it;)

Badoozie said...

okay then. feel better now? you are needing to calm down some. maybe a doobie or two might help.

or maybe you could just stop asking dumb questions.

the thing most disturbing is you saying the words bung hole, and that part about mr shady smelling you......i mean mr shakey pants staring at you. i hate to be stared at too. do you ask him what he is doing that for? is he trying to make you feel guilty, make you want to talk to him, WHAT for the love of pete. ask him i WANT TO KNOW

The Blog Whore said...

Mmmm..

Cake!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

suzie,
he stars at me cuz he is weird.

blog whore
exactly!

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