Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Blame it on the rain

So it has been discussed that ole Bossy needs to get a MN drivers license before I end up with a huge fine or spending nights at my place of employment..without pay mind you....Beings that my mother also needs to get one, I sent her up there first so I would know how hard the test is.

Now most US states have plenty of common sense. Hell, most have Seceraty of State offices which are open 5 days a week, some have DMV's that are open 5 days a week. This state? We go to the national Armory office...All week you ask?..Nah...That would be much to easy. Only time you can take the test is Tuesdays between 10am and 11:15 am...Then u need to go to the court house and get your photo snapped. It is not only NOT a one stop shop, but its only a one day per week, one hour 15 minute shop. Who the Sam bloody hell can work that in and get it done in 90 days after moving here? I tell you, the state of MN is run by complete Morons. Shall I even dare to call them..Butt-wades? Maybe its just this county or my city...But I have never heard of such an ordeal.

My mom went up there and they told her she needs a copy of BOTH her marriage papers as well as the divorce papers as well as her birth certificate. She has been divorced from my dad since 1987...And from what I like to call...her big, fat, huge mistake that I told you not to marry him..Begged you the day we went to the place where you wed..Mom! Please don't marry this asswipe...I am begging... marriage..She has been divorced from that big fat mistake since 1993..

So it is going to take me till next Tuesday to find this crap. I have been married since 1995 and I have a crappy filing system..Chances are I wont find my marriage license for months....Gawd I hate stupid people.

I told my good friends up at the Sheriffs dept about my traffic mishap..They asked where I got my ticket. As soon as I told them the highway and city, they bellared out the lady's name. I guess she has a reputation of that of a heartless puppy kicker. I think she may eat her own young.

They told me the reason it is not going on my record is because the city she works in is in such dire need for funds, that if you send your fine into them , they don't put it on your record.

If I would of known I was participating in some sort of fundraiser for that city, hell I woulda baked some pies or something...Not 137 bucks worth, but maybe at least 20.

So that's the story on that one.

Bossy was duped by a fundraiser gone arry.

My nine year old Butch Bee..God bless his soul. A few nights now we have found him out in the living room sleeping with the TV on. When he is questioned ..Or grilled rather, he chalks it up to sleepwalking.

So last night I get home at midnight, no TV..No kid on the couch. But when Mr shaky gets up in the morning he comes up to tell me we had another "sleepwalking mishap" and my son suddenly wound up on the sofa again.

I ask my sweet little boy how this has happened. He tells me he doesn't remember a thing. He told me he has amnesia and is not sure how he got there.

I told him for his own saftey I better start locking his door at night so there are no more mishaps. I then tell him that playing games on the X-Box can also trigger bouts of amnesia and that he better abstain from playing until his condtion clears up.

he then all of a sudden remembered what had happened and his amnesia was gone.

Thank you God for sparing the wrath of amnesia on my harmless little buttwad of a kid. He really means no real harm. He is just an addict of the electric vibes he feels from the small boxes in this house. I think 10 years at a good outreach program for little boys addicted to TV will do him good. I am getting his bags packed as we speak.

So this was my day wrapped up in a big nutshell. Not only am I still without a license, but my kid is suffering from amnesia and I was tricked into a fundraiser..

Well, now I have to go deal with the inmates. The one up on charges of first degree murder for killing his girlfriend has a crush on me. Wanna know how we all know?

because he doesn't call me a the f-word and he uses please and thank you when I speak to him.

I am giving him my phone number just in case things don't work out with Mr shaky. He should be out of prison..Say...NEVER.

Bee Real


Karin said...

Well I guess that is one way to start a fundraiser. As for Butch's sleep walking, if that was happening at our house it would be because the swamp cooler is by the tv and it would be a way to finally cool off and get some sleep. Wow you have already secured yourslef a crush, now you have someone who will kill for you, I will be nice from now on.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

wow...I never thought about that..wonder if he would take care of the fundraising lady for me?.

ok that was bad..haha

Lady Noelle said...

Do you live in a really little town?

Are you reall sending your kid away for 10 years? Maybe you were just being sarcastic and I didn't get it.

A couple of elderly residents, in the nursing home I used to work at, had huge crushes on me. Feels good not to have old guys asking me to get into bed with them. LOL!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

lady n,
well it is a small town, but not as small as the one I grew up in mIchigan..and they still had a seceraty of state..

ok, no i am not sending him away.some days i would like to send all 3 of them away.

I had some eldery men ht on me when i worked in a nursing home too..that just really grossed me out..haha

Kendra Lynn said...

You gotta be kiddin' me! You have to go TWO different places in town to get your license? What were those morons thinking?
I'd never manage that. At least, not without a babysitter!

Hope you can find your marriage license.

Stay away from those inmates...they spell trouble. :)


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes two places...is that insane or what??

You can take my word..I stay FAR away from them killers;)

just_tammy said...

Even when we lived in rural Louisiana, you could get your DL 5 days a week from 9-5 or something like that! One and a half hours a week - INSANE!!!

Try to stay away from the ticket queen in the future, but there's always your crush as you stated. Bet she puts her handcuffs to use on a regular basis since she loves power. Once again - INSANE!!!

To top it all off - sleepwalking and amnesia! Some life you are living right now!

mckay said...

don't those dang fool xboxes have some sort of parental control switch that makes it inoperable at times designaged by queen bees?

my lilbee is 4 years old and i'm not looking forward to the day when one of those boxes flys into my hive.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i tell you..this town state is like some bad version of the twlight zone..you need to come over and help me deal with the kids amnesia propbelm;)

well..I bought that danm thing for the hubby for x-mas 4 years ago..but the kids seemed to have taken control of it..although there is a 15 minute time limit on it..they sometimes exceed it if i forget to set the timer..beware..

although we only have g-rated games..they are still annoying as hell;)

Gette said...

Must just be your own county. If you just need to change address, all you need to do is show up with a utility bill or some sort of proof of residence with your photo ID and SS or BC. However, if you've waited too long and need to retake the test, most counties only offer the test on certain days. Most also have the little license photomat right on the spot as well.

Don't you love it when some old fart lying in his own poo invites you to crawl into bed with him? Makes me hot just thinking about it.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well I dont have a MN lisnce at all..i just have a michigan one..they neeed all this for whatever reason..becuase this state sucks is all i can come up with..and i thought it was odd you can only do this one day per week as well..what county do u live in?

well i havent had old farts asking for me to tuck them in , in a long time..thank goodnes..teehee

LZ Blogger said...

Bossy ~ Boy you are FUNNY! Make sure your new (in the joint) boyfriend doesn't already have a boyfriend named "Bubba" that he is also saying "Please" and "Thank-you" to as well. Or he may not be getting out in TWO lifetimes. (His & yours)! ~ jb///

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

lz bloggr,
well his cell mate is in the same boat he is..they are in the maximum secruity area..

they dont see much tail if ya know what I mean..they must be desparte for some flirty eyelashes.

only they dont get that from me..so maybe they do need to keep eachother company;)

hopfully I dont ever meet him in a dark ally..

Peggy said...

I am glad your life is so interesting... at least I can have a few laughs reading about yours... mine is boring but our license office is open 5 days a week and photos are taken there..wanna move here?

Working Mom said...

Well, you got me thinking (uh oh) and now that you've mentioned it, I don't know where my marriage license is either. Last time I saw it was when it came in the mail.

I may need to borrow your new boyfriend. I need to do some "clean up" at work...LOL

Britmum said...

Hang on a mo................ o.k. I am back I just had to go and get a tissue to wipe my tears up. No I am not crying about you I am laughing my big bum off about you. You are so funny, well bloody funny....!!! A day in the life of Bossy would be too much to handle. LOL Oh my!!!!

Only you could get a date with a murderer. LOL BTW is he cute? I think that you got fleeced over by the copper though. Next time she stops do offer to bake her some pies. LOL

We are having problems in our house with electrical boxes that one certain young boy can't seem to leave alone. I am sure he is going to turn into Luke Skywalker. I haven't had the sleep walking and amnesia yet but hey maybe thats next. I will prepare myself but maybe use other threats because I have tried the sending him somewhere threat.

O.K. Bossy me old mate have a good one.

Take care xx

Kelly said...

I can sympathasize with you! Three last name changes was no walk in the park either. Licenses, soc cards, etc...what a pain in the ASS! Nothing like running from one office building to the next...and I too am sooo unorganized! Not to mention all of the address changes we've had in the past 4 years too! Good luck on getting your license updated.

Oh, and go easy on your poor little lad! It's summer vacation, woman!

mal said...

gee, MN DOT has an office that keeps regular hours about a mile from Shakey Pants job...of course it is way the heck gone for you.,,,,,,

Jerry said...

Wow. It's a lot easier to get a license down in Indiana. Maybe that's why we have so many illegal aliens driving around.

Fantastagirl said...

Oh Cripes - it's official I now know why all the trees along our state's border leans to the north - your state sucks... ha ha ha

Hope it all works out for you!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes..yes i do wanna move there:)

my filing system is not good..i cant even remeber the last time i seen it..

i wikk give my boy toy your number..i think he would do a mighty fine job:)

no he is NOT cute..he is tall and lanky..he is a black man, not that it matters..but he is VERY creepy looking..and he is young, which is so sad.

watch out for the sleepwalking..its bound to happen..

sorry u had to waste a tissue on me though:)

i am WAY unoragainzed as well..i mean its bad..

well summer vacation can be over any day now...am OI right?..haha

hmm...so is that a one stop shop then?...might be worth the dang drive.

well, its not that hard getting one in Michigan either i dont think...there a bunch of retards running the state..it cant be helped;)

u took the words right outta my mouth..it does suck here..

maybe i need to move south of the boarder to your state:)

Heart Of Darkness said...

Sounds like the Far Side - DMV open only on certain days, certain hours (and cosed for lunchbreak), and forget about calling in to get an appointment (which you have to do ahead of time) - the calling hour is 7.30 to 8.00 am, and then they line's busy...

Thank God I'm all done with the DMV! And - although I do want a MC license - NEVER again!

Good luck! :)

Jewl said...

Actually, having a inmate for a hubby wouldn't be so bad! You don't have to feed him, clothe him, don't have to share the bed, don't have to put up with his crap... not too shabby....
Ummm, just kidding, kind of.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

heart of darkness,
they sure dont make it easy for people do they?...some people are retards..i have learned that the hard way.

well, i had been thinking the same thing as well...only they would keep calling us collect to send the money for the soda machine..

~Deb said...

The DMV sucks ass big time. They always give you a hard time. I think they go to some school on how to treat people like absolute crap!

As far as your son--hehehehehheheheee,....too funny. I had amnesia once too, when I was 13 yrs old caught with a beer. I really thought it was a can of Pepsi. Really....really.

And be careful with your prison admirer...I don't want to see your mug on a milk carton. Stop wearing those tight t's to work!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i agree with the DMV thing..retards run this whole damn planet.

I have had amsnia a few tmes as well..but thankfully recovered quickly;)

well I have to wear a cop uniform to the work place...and its big and baggy, they cant even tell if i have boobs;)

kaliblue said...

Geeze, next thing these folks will want is a blood sample along with all the other info just to get a license. :-). Aw!!! your boy is sooo cute. One day he's gonna make a very good Lawyer ;-).

Choppzs said...

LOL, you crack me up!! I swear amnesia is the in thing these days!! oops I forgot is the saying of the day around here!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

gosh, if it gets to that point i might get a horse and buggy and ride like the amish do:)

I think amnseia is an epidemic with small kids..a good kick in the ass is the cure:)

Felecia said...


What MN are you living in?! You need to get your hive moved to the metro area for cry'n out loud. DMV's are as abundant as Starbucks.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well i think I just need to get my hive moved outta MN..haha

the town i lived in michigan was much smaller then this one..our sectrary of state was open all week and one night a week till 7pm...

just thought every place was like that..I stand corrected though..

too many scary people in the metro area..i saw some last week..heehee