Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I like big butts

Its all clear to me now. Rather than have children I should of started breeding goldfish. You feed them once a day, clean the bowl once a week. No sass, no peeing on the floor, and no grazing like a cow all day. The past 2 weeks have made me rethink this whole mother business.

I need to live on a Dude Ranch. I need to wear cowboy hats, and wear leather pants, whip horses and chase cattle. ALONE...I want my skin to become so dried from the sun that it looks like a leather purse. I want snake skin boots, and a skull on my belt buckle. I want to be a bad ass.. I want to be the kind of bad ass like Curly in City Slickers. Minus the dying part and being buried in the open desert.

You know you have a stupid baby when she says she wants pie and you tell her that her meat loaf is pie, then she eats it and says " momma good pie."

You know your kids have a stupid mother when your on your walk and you spot a cute little chipmunk, you make eye contact and he scurries into his nucker hole, and you stick your finger in there...Hope the little bastard was vaccinated.

I am calling today to set up my interview for Friday for the Corrections Officer job. I still can not believed I was called. I mean I put that application in 2 months ago..I figure they must of hired a few and they have quit, or the prisoners have killed them..I really need to start reading the paper.

I work today from 8-4..So I will try and catch up on everyone soon...Happy Trails and Happy Hump Day.

Bee Real


novaks8 said...


(imagining the posts that would come if you get the job!)


Karin said...

To be a worry wart if that thing bit you, you need to go to the doctor and get a tetnis shot. Animal mouths are very dirty and dangerous. Good luck at the new job and with the interview.

So your saying I should stay on the pill?

Meow said...

I'm with Novaks8 ... hope you get the job !!
Hmmmm, did the bite break skin ... didn't know chipmunks were evil !!
Don't work too hard.
Take care, Meow

Badoozie said...

sounds like corrections officer is right up your alley. wow. hope it works out for you. although i'm a bit worried about your fondness for big butts.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I know, it oculd all be pure gold;)

no it did not break the skin...he just nibbled;)..and YES stay on the pill..geesh..

well this chipmunk was leading me on..he wanted me to come inside for a spot of tea, but I could not fit, I think he was just trying to pull me through the hole;)

well I have one, might as well embrace it right?

LZ Blogger said...

You crack me up! ~ jb///

~Deb said...

You're hysterical woman! If my mama told me her meatloaf was pie, I'd throw it in her face! ba ha, ..!

Hey--good luck with the job! Hope you're doing well busy bee!

~Deb said...

You're hysterical woman! If my mama told me her meatloaf was pie, I'd throw it in her face! ba ha, ..!

Hey--good luck with the job! Hope you're doing well busy bee!

Mike said...

You have to be careful sticking a finger in any hole...just saying.

Good luck on the job thing!

Nerdine said...

Tell me you didn't...
Like mother like daughter I say.. LMAO

better go to the doc and get that shot..- (still laughing)

Gette said...

Maybe if you quit buying snacks, or just buy really crappy snacks, the kids will quit grazing or better yet, go to someone else's house and eat their food.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

lz blogger,
glad i can crack someone up..haha

i am thinking her taste buds must be off;)

say no more..i have learned my lesosn.

oh I did honey;)..but it did not break the skin, I am ok..i hope;)

well that would be good, but I dont buy snack to begin with, what they want are full course meals..damn kids..

Kendra Lynn said... you now have good jobs to choose from...this is good! :)
How's your son and his peeing problem? LOL
You so crack me up.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

nothing but peeing trouables all over here...

i am re thinking the other job, might just stick with this one..