Friday, July 21, 2006

jailhouse rock

So my first night at the jail was slow..We only had two bookings in the night. There are around 50 inmates at the jail, and half of them are women. There are 3 murders, lots of druggies and drunks, and some attempted murder people. Just your run of the mill good citizens.

One poor feller brought in at 2am was brought in on 5 charges. He kept saying " I have never had so many charges in my life."

you dumb fool you should never have any charges against you dude. This guy was huge. Around 6'5 250 pounds. I was Leary of him. He kept telling the arresting officer he was full of sh*t and wanted to talk to his attorney.

When the officer was ready to leave he yelled " by dipshit", then the officer put him in lockdown.

I will be glad to get my two nights in to have one day off and to work the weekend at my other job.

Ok I am gonna get serious for a minute. One of my good blogging buddies is upset with me. I just want everyone to know to never take anything I say seriously. I say retard, fatty, porty, asswipe, buttcracks, ugly ass... ok I make fun of everyone. I never ever think I am offending anyone, I just figure everyone here knows I am full of shit. That's what I am, I am always full of shit. Please don't take anything I say the wrong way. I love all my blogging peeps and never ever want to make them feel bad.

So suck everyone, I am as politically incorrect as you can get. I don't mean any harm, and I am sorry if I offend anyone. mmkay?..Are we all on the same page?....

Ok now that is out of the way I need to go put on some under garments and get dressed. I am sitting here without any protection in the nether region area. I am getting butt sweat on my chair. I need to get my skanky uniform on and think about heading to work in a few hours..Lucky me, and lucky the inmates.

Have a wonderful weekend. I will be working my fatt ass off....Such as the life of a working...And it sucks,

oh and something is burning my britches.....I had to take my nose ring out last night. And I can not get the dang thing back in....It was only out 12 hours. I think I am gonna have to get it re done..but then everytime i work at the sheriffs I have to take it out..does anyone know if I can get a small plug or some sort of thing to jam in there to keep it from closing?.....damn i am mad as all heck.
Bee Real


Cliff Morrow said...

As long as you don't mention fatty's, moron's, retard's, lazy people, or dumb farmers,,, we will be just fine.
As you know, I can't provide any sympathy on that obnoxious nose stud.
Book them Danno!

Karin said...

First and foremost I am not mad at you I just couldn't let remarks that really bugged me continue and not say anything. Also you aren't the only blogger in this blog circle who has made repeated remarks about fat people and it is like nails on the chalkboard to me. I know you may not understand because you haven't had a lifetime of being the fat kid to know how hurtful this can feel. I know you meant no harm in what you were saying which is why I felt I should let you know that it was hurting my feelings. If I thought for a minute you did mean harm I wouldn't have said anything and went somewhere else. I value our blog friendship. As I said before I was just saying it to get it off my chest and it never need be mentioned again.

AS far as the nose ring yes it was too soon to have taken it out and you will probably have to repierce it. Yes they do make plugs that keep the hole open for when you are at work, but I am not sure where you get them. SOunds like your first night was eventful.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh no, i have said all those things but the dumb farmer...oh gosh, i am in so much trouble..

well I in no way ever even thought about hurting anyones feelings, I guess I just never thought about it. I am glad you told me, this way I know that things I say can be hurtful to some and I deeply appologize...i luv ya and would enevr wanna hurt your feelings..

i had it done almost 2 months ago, it was all healed..makes me mad as all heck..

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

ok...i called the place i got my piercing he told me it isnt healed over just might be a buld of of crusty stuff since it was my first time taking her out..i am going friday night and have him put a new one in..and i am gonna have him show me how to get the sucker in from now on..geesh..i need a drink now..

Working Mom said...

Oh I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face if someone was brought in saying all that! I would be laughing hysterically!

Hope tonight goes by quickly for you!

Michele_3 said...

So do they tell you right away what everyone is in there for?
How interesting...

buld of Crusty stuff? in nose?
You kill me girl!

Jewl said...

I could have gone without having the image of ass sweat on the chair... LOL Now that is all I will be thinking about the next time I sit in somebodies chair... Blah...

Krystal said...

Congrats on the job!

And yes, they do sell plugs for nose rings. You can't even see them when they are in.

I don't know who you offended, but hey, it's the net, it's a blog... grow a skin, people.

I've struggled with my weight all my life and have been obese. It is a daily challenge for me to not become a fat ass again (am currently up 17 pounds...time for the wide ass sign for my back side and time for me to get my shit together), but "fat ass" away. Life is too short to be be thin skinned.

pack of 2 said...

I think you can use clear fishing line to keep it from closing up. That is what my employees do when I make them take their piercings out:)

What is your other job?

BTW, you have never offended me...I just assume it's your blog & you can say anything you want. No worries here.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well it was hard to keep a stright face..those drunks are like regualr comedians:)

well its good to read up on what they are in u can be prepared for stuff..what is scary is there are some female murderes in there...they are freaky.

but I can take em down;)

ass sweat..think about!..its everywhere:)

well i need to find one of them you can even see, i dont want to go without somerhing in there for that long again. i think its gonna be painful to have him jam a ring in tehre later.

well I just never thought about hurting anyones feelings..I consider myself a fat ass, so I always assume if I am making fun of myslef its ok..but I do know it may be uncomfortable for someone to hear all the time about the stuff I say about being over weight. it is a very sensitive subject and I have never went through that, other than trying to lose 40 pounds of baby weight, so i dont even thik about it.

everyone is differnt i guess, and I had not really thought about bad:)

shelly ,
fishing line?..holy mother of God..

well i am glad you have never been offened and I had never realized anything i say could be viewed that way..I dog on mexicnas, ugly kids, over weight, name it...and of course i dont mean a word of it..its all talk out of my ass:)

Mrs. Diamond said...

well i bet this job will never be boring! how come you can't wear a nose ring at work?

Krystal said...

Look, your blog is pretty much your diary that you share. You shouldn't have to worry about other people's feelings.

BTW, I have a special needs son, "retard" doesn't bother me either. It's not PERSONAL ya know?


And do it with the same sarcasm as you always have. :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

mrs d,
because one of the little criminals could rip it out..we also have to keep our hair up, cuz theycan pull it..such babies those inmates are;)

well thank you..i always try to just write what is in my mind..never thinking anyone would take it the wrong way.

My sister is mentally challdged and so are her kids..and the term retard still flies off my toungue, but I do not for one minute ever think about hurting anyones feelings..I mean mostly I am calling my own kids a loving way of course:)

Kendra Lynn said...

Wow...sounds like you had QUITE a night. LOL
Hope tonight is better for ya.

Take care.


Lady Noelle said...

Hey Girly,
I used to work at a nursing home and had to plug up all of my piercings. Tongue and eyebrow. It sucked. I felt like it was discrimination against the way I wanted to look. Anyways, go to

They have great stuff there and if you click in the right places you can even search for jewelry by piercing.

Ass sweat on the chair! You're funny.

And I know exactly how you feel about people taking you serious when you're not trying to be serious. I actually lost a friend to this retarded-ness and in turn, my husband lost that friend too. See how much drama one person can create? It's crazy. Stupid mofo. Oh well, I feel like I'm a better person without him.

Anyways, I always enjoy reading your blogs. Keep it up.

Do you ride a bike in your skanky cop uniform? I'm not a lez or anything but I must say that would be sexy.

Lady Noelle said...

Wait atleast 6 months to take it our for any longer than an hour. Anymore piercing questions just come to me. Oh, and it shouldn't close up if your just changing the jewelry. It might hurt a little.. but it will be worth it.

Jerry said...

About that hole you put in your nose. Maybe you could plug it with a booger. At least that would be something natural to find in your nose.

As far as being offensive, you're still not as rough as what gets said around the dinner table at my house.

The Blog Whore said...

Yup, that nose will close fast. I took mine out after having it pierced for 6 months and it closed in a DAY! I think I included a clear bar on that card of nose rings I sent you....It's called a "retainer" I think that's about as good as you'll get to keeping something in there that's not too noticable.

Felecia said...

Bossy, bossy, bossy...

Hasn't the infamous "MN nice" made it into your repertoire yet?

You're going to make people think we're just a bunch of bigoted Norwegian’s, don'cha know?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes it was a night alright..glad i dont go back today, or i would go insnae;)

lady n,
ok..6 months huh?...well i did not want to take it out at all, but had too, if they would of told me at all my interiveiws i would have to remove it, i would of went and got something figured out..

i am going tonight back to the piercing place and they are gonna fix me up..hopefully they will have some ideas how to keep something in there.

i think that is what is plugging it now:)

blog whore,
i was looking at those ones you sent and i see a very tieeny tiny one..i think mine is at least half way closed, and i am thinking i will need to have it done again. I tried like hell to get one of the ones you sent me in tehre, but I can only get it half way through.

i did not know it would heal so fast. it was only 12 hours..not sure what i am gonna do, i cant keep taking the damn things out every time i work..and i guess i am not sure how to get it back in..i have tried for two damn days to get that back in...

so are people in MN really nice?..I always heard that, so far, your the only one.

but maybe its just me..i am not "socailable" nor "approachable"..i dont say hi to anyone i pass in the street unless they say it first..I am retarded like that:)

Felecia said...

I've not only had people say "Hi" or wave, but I've even gotten the occassional "you look nice today" or "I love your necklace" from fellow MN's. Now, I'm not apt to dish out random compliments, but it does wonders for me when I get them. (I my re-think my philosophy!)

Meow said...

Hey girl, you've never offended me, I know you never mean anything nasty by your comments ... they're just words, not big deal !! (and I'm a fatty !!). Sounds like your new job is interesting ... were'nt you scared ??? Hope you get the nose ring thing sorted.
Have a great weekend.
Take care, Meow

Badoozie said...

i have a splendid and hygenic idea. just don't' wear a nose ring at all and there will be no worries.

Badoozie said...

i saw what karin said, and she's right, she's good peeps, so you two kiss and make up or i'll have to back hand the both of you

Jamie Dawn said...

Just don't be calling me a fat, retarded hick and we're okay.

You are hanging out with some real winners there at the jail. Stay clear of those murderers.

Granny said...

Just saying hi. I've fallen a little behind on reading with our heat wave.

I'm now caught up.