Never gonna get it

After a long hard day at the crazy house, I come home to crap. Not crap literally, like I did not come home and step into a pile of dog shit, or like one of my kids pooped their drawers on the kitchen floor. Nothing of that nature at all.

I come in the door, Shaky is standing over the stove top with an apron, making no bake cookies.

ok, he was not wearing an apron, but he might as well of been

First thing he asked me was " so did u buy regular tanning minutes today, or the extra minutes that burn your face off"

I have a slight burn because they stuck me in a bed with NEW bulbs.

Then he asked why I had my glasses on. i told him cuz I wanted too..He then bends his head slightly, looks at me and says " your glasses are crooked, and u look like your sister"

Then he asked me if I planned on bathing, as I stunk.

I wanted to take my fist, and either ram it up his asshole, or take my foot and ram it in same place.

I go take my bath, as I do nightly if I am home. I get my jammies on, and sit on my bed and watch my favourite comedy. This show is one of the best, and if I did not know for a fact this show uses no scripts, i would use what pull I have, or did have and beg to write for it..I would offer up my first born..

Curb your Enthusiasm, is great. No great is an understatement. I use to think The Office was my favorite comedy, but no..its this gem.

So after it was over, he asks what I am doing, like maybe he has sort of sick and twisted plan to tie me up or something..I don't know.

I told him I was going to bed.

I said you can not tell me that I smell, my tan looks like shit, and I resemble my obese sister and then expect to get laid.

That's not a way to woe your lady, or get her to want to speak other then naughty 4 letter words to your face.

So I am here, typing this, while Shaky is curled in the fetal position next to me snoring..

sonofabitch

Bee Real