Tuesday, March 20, 2007

If I could turn back time

So my son turning a decade old made me realize how old I truly am. Its almost like I woke up one day and BAM, I am old AND I am fat...what the hell happened? It all happened in the blink of an eye...

One minute I am a rabid little tramp in high-school, the next minute I am going on my 12th year of marriage celebrating laugh lines and the decade old-ness of my first born

My ever so kind gentleman of a husband points out to me on occasion that I am getting fine lines around my eyes, and then will tell me that if I lay my head a certain way, my skin kinda falls to one side and its very unappealing I guess. I just chalk it up to the fact he is an asshole..but no..that's not it..

I am really turning into a old hag...

the ass is droopy and hanging below the sexy threshold of assness...the boobs, well not only are the big, but I think they are also off kilter in the balance of nature. I am sure they should be sitting a tad higher then they are, but what the sam hell can I do about it?

My once ripped abs, have turned into a fleshy sess-pool of stretch marks squishyness.

I could go on..

See this here? This is me in 1993 at my Senior prom....I look young, no lines, small boobs, and my ass is nice and high..I am assuming


Now from there we head to graduation....a month later....still sporting nice small boobs and a ripped mid-section..

At this point in my life I had not a care in the world....I had no bills, no kids, no job, nothing at all was ever on my mind...other then sleeping in and eating..

Now here we are in 1995...my wedding day...I started my weight training around this time, I had buff arms and calves, no lines....a taught tummy still...

I am not sure at what point it all went down hill...I am not sure how I let it all go wrong..I am not sure whom or what is to blame.

Maybe its the fact when I was pregnant with The Boy, I craved nachos and cheese, and gained a full 115 pounds...

Now as of today, I am full of lines, squishyness, and a low riding ass.

but I do have buff arms and calves still, does that count for anything?

My abs on the other hand, I am sure they are taught under my layer of blubber and stretch marks..


So this is what an old hag looks like, look away...I am HITONIOUS.

It is almost a travesty...I use to be cute, hip, fit, and all that...
now I have zits, flab, laugh lines and a ten year old.
Its all going down hill very fast...
Please pray for me.
bee happy


Working Mom said...

Nah, you're still hot! Just in a more mature way ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

that doesnt make me feel any better missy!

Neurotic1 said...

I think you still look great. We all have the flabby belly. Thanks to kids. They are at least good for that! Laugh lines just add character. I am not sure which character (could be droopy dog) but hell it's character ;)

Neurotic1 said...

I just read your post about being horny and the bus. Had to be Mr. Brailey's bus. I can't begin to tell you the things I learned on there ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes it was Braliys bus...I swear I dont remeber u riding my bus...

I had some good times on that bus..haha

and I wasnt horny..hahahahahaha

oh and I dont wanna be droopy dog, I wanna be Betty Boop..haha

Karin said...

Well you see that is why I ruined my own body from the start, that way I never had to wonder who did it to me. I wouldn't worry until you have dangling skin from under your arms. thats when you know all is lost.

Leesa said...

I have a pouch! I feel like a freekin' Kangaroo! I know how you feel.

Blazer1234 said...

Awww, you're still beautiful. Inside and out.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well I am not far off from having wings...

and your perfect the way u are..so there.

not a pouch, good Lord woman..things arent lookin good for us are they?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I dont have any money, if thats what your after;)

Choppzs said...

wow, I'm not at all a lesbian, but you were hot in the picture with the red dress!!! lol I look back at my prom too and think, damn and I thought I was fat back then??? I was hot!! lol Don't feel bad, I am in the same boat!!! Hmmmm, yah, it sucks!! lol

ktlee said...

Yet more reasons not to have spawn. :)

~Deb said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhh come on girly!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stoppppp with thattttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!! You're beautiful as you are. You do not look flabby, and *if* you are, as you say, then you hide it well and you carry yourself beautifully.

So stop the b/s! ;)

kaliblue said...

Ok Miss Bossy after reading this and thinking about my age (38), and all my sags, bags, and so forth. I am now Officially depressed, oppressed, supressed, and any other press I can think of. Thanks sugar !!!! *LMAO*.
Your still a young'un, you have lots of good years left in ya:-).

Badoozie said...

well, I have two words for you...get over it...because I'm WAYYYYYYYYYY ahead of you. do you have crepe skin on your neck? or wrinkly elbows? call me when you do and we'll talk. as for shakey making mention of the skin hanging, I have noticed that about my own face...and it is making me feel bad. it happens to everyone i think. can you feel your jowls moving when you drive in your car and hit bumps? I can. I think I want to die right now before this gets any worse.

"T" said...

Oh shut up. You still look good.

Did you seriously gain 115 pounds being preggers? Serious?

My. God.

Kendra Lynn said...

I think you look beautiful.
Stop worrying so much.
I just wish I had a desire to excerise. I don't. Not an ounce. LOL
Ah well...good thing Scott likes "soft". That's what he's got, baby.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

u guys r too much..haha

and yes T..i did gain OVER 115 pounds, it was more like 120, no shit..and NO I wont prove it by posting fat pics..haha

I am gonna be 32 in May, and I feel like I look about 42...shazam no.

Jamie Dawn said...

You do NOT look hitonious!!
Not ever hideous or horrid or horendous.

You look cute as can be, just as you are right now.
So, the belly is jelly, huh?
Well, at least your face looks great.
Which would you prefer going down hill?
Belly or Face?
You can cover a belly, but it's the face that everyone sees. Be happy yours is a pretty one.

I can really feel your pain about the low riding bohunkus. Mine started out a low rider and has just dropped lower and lower and lower over time.
My boobs are too small to have any major drooping issues, so that's the good news on my end.

I think if you start making snide, critical comments about Mr. Shaky's male parts (such as smallness and softness and limpness), he may stop making those critical comments about your tiny laugh lines. :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i about peed myself after your last senteces..