Friday, March 30, 2007

Take the long way home

Ok, I know I said I was not posting again till Monday, but I do have a rant/slash observation. Now this might get lengthy, (and i HATE reading long ones, in fact, I don't/wont..so I don't expect any of u jack off;s to stay much past the second paragraph) but i do promise to cover a few topics and keep u at a steady level of amusement, if that helps any..


***********************




First up, I am thinking about taking the TV away from the kids. No TV.No video games. No free babysitter. No devil box keeping Boo occupied while I nap on the couch.

I feel as though it is sort of taking over. I don't want to be one of those parents whom rely on it souly for getting the fu*king kids out of your fu*king face. I would rather just tell them to get the hell out of my fu*king face or hand them some kitchen knives, or throw them the car keys and tell them to go have fun, but make sure u fill it up before you bring it back to mommy.




So, I am trying to think of ideas to entertain them when they are all home. I don't know...I was thinking about some sort of wood carving or scrap metal assembly, or jigsaw puzzles...Not sure yet.



I watch way to much kids TV for a soon to be 32 year old woman. When I am googling Robbie Rotten to see what he looks like with NO make up, that's shear desperation there...If your curious, this is what he looks like WITH make up...





















Enough to give any tot nightmares..right?







But this is him without the get-up





































I know, wipe the drool from your mouth you Mommy's who thought he looked like Jay Lenos evil twin...he is pretty damn sweet huh...





As we know I have drooling fantasies about this guy..















































he has nice form, good definition, and his body aint too bad either..he can do the splits, back flips, and can jump super high and flip mid air... PLUS he has an accent..U can take the ugliest of humans, give them an accent, and holy shit, they are totally reformed.



DAMN.



This is him without the jumpsuit..




























<3<3<3<3<3<3




Don't get me wrong, he is a hottie...But I prefer the jumpsuit.


So these are my main inspirations of wanting to get rid of the television. When me and my three year old are fighting over who Sportacus's girlfriend is, you know you have a problem.


<3<3<3



Hello. My name is Bossy,and I am a Noggin addict. I am addicted to the handsome fellas who parade themselves innocently in front my TV, thinking its all harmless and educational.

Well its educational alright...



sonofabitch.

~

Why is it that some people feel the need to birth out lots of kids? I know some folks whom are going on their 5th or more child, yet are getting help from welfare. WHY??

Stop producing like a damn rabbit. If you cant afford it, I don't much care to raise the kids for you...I would rather my tax money go to helping sick puppies, ridding the world of flies, or helping preserve the lions. Not to help u get free baby formula so u can buy your smokes and you Frito lays.

*************************************************************************


Go ahead and send all bashing comments to idontgiveashit@yahoo.com

or stickitupyourrear@gmail.com

its one thing if you fall on hard times, and need help...that's what it is there for, but when its your main source of income, and you think just because you can get free shit doesn't mean u can squeeze all sorts of babies out your hoo-haa.

~~~~


Sorry dudes...get on the damn pill, or go get fixed..

Dogs and cats have fairly normal lives after they are spayed and neutered...Give it a go people.

My male dog still liked humping my leg...it will be OK. I am just tired of paying for your kids.

~

I am getting a new purse. A blog friend of mine, well we are in talks of a purse making extravaganza. I saw a purse she made...LOVED it, and am begging her to make me one.

With the cost of the supplies and her time, it might set me back about 145.00, but its gonna be a birthday gift to myself.

Thats what happens when you get old and are married for more then six months, you have to resort to buying your own gifts.

Its a hard fact of life people, get over it.

~
Can any of you top the day I had Thursday?

First off, I have a snotty nose, hacking couch and pain when inhaling.

I then, get a raw nose from the vigorous , yet effective wiping.

Then I get a feeling of the urge and need to vomit. I head to the bathroom, lift the seat and out it blows.

To top it off, I was already dressed for work and in the process and force of my barfing, I had pee running down my leg.



sonofabitch.




I change my clothes, and make camp on the sofa while Boo in mesmerized by Jacks Big Music show. I then quickly have to get up and vomit...and once again, wet myself.

I am not proud of it. But when you are forcefully purging, it all kinda rolls out..

So, I had to change pants yet again..





double sonofabitch




So if I seem a little out of sorts, its because I am dehydrated and lacking sleep, and also having trouble breathing out my nose.

So sue me.

Which reminds me, I need to start a load of laundry.




Bee Real

32 comments:

aatank said...

I'M NOT SURE BUT I THINK THIS IS YOUR BLOG AND YOU CAN POST/RANT ANYTIME YOU WANT.

AT LEAST YOU CAN PAWN YOUR KIDS OFF ON THE TV, MINE LASTS 5 MINUTES THEN THEY'RE RIGHT BACK BUGGING ME.

I HATE THE WELFARE BABY MAKERS. I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Aatank,
shit whats with the caps?..haha

Your not turning on the right shows..thats all:)

and thank you..feeling much better today, just a running nose and itchy throat...no pissing of the pants so far;)

patti_cake said...

Well I hope you feel better Hon. I'm sorry but damn you did make me laugh this morning!
My kid won't watch TV either, she'd much rather be hanging on my leg - unless Daddy is around. She's even given up on Strawberry Shortcake and that used to get me a good ten mins or so. Have a good week-end

Neurotic1 said...

Why take away the tv- then you just have to do more work! More work equals less fun ;) Maybe Shaky will get you some depends for your anniversay- I would say that is a suitable gift for 12 years!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Patty_cake,
shit, my kids dont like me well enough to hang on my leg, at one time all three of them have told me I have wrecked their life..haha..its not looking good for them, or me.

thanks, I am feeling much better now:)

Neurtic,
I was thinking more like poise pads, I am not bad enough for the full blown diaper just yet..

but damn, when u vomit, it all kinda runs down your leg...or maybe its just me:)

just_tammy said...

Sweetie, I think you have every right in the world to let off some steam and that was some steam! I hope you are feeling much much better by now. You shouldn't be thinking about taking away the TV when your head is full of snot. Wait and few days and then think about it.

I'm so done with people having more kids than they can handle. I'm not just talking about money either. If you can't 'cope' with one, you sure as heck can't 'cope' with eight! Sore topic around these here allergy infested parts.

Anyway, feel better and try to stay dry. Maybe you should see if Boo has any leftover Pull-Ups! Yes, you are small enough to fit in one!

just_tammy said...

PS - I feel kinda bad about dissin the hair, but I had a few sportin the same do in my wedding and I was married over a decade earlier. Shouldn't have been so hard on you when you're down and out. Forgive me...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Tammy,
so are u saying I was jumping the gun on wanting to take the tv away, that maybe i was under the influance of Nyquil or something?..maybe:)

Yes, popping out the kids weather u can afford it or not is not even half the probelem, its being able to handle them once u birth them as well..My sister fits into BOTH catagoreis.

Stop making fun of me for peeing down my leg.

Oh, and i am still thinking about wether to forgive u or not on the hair..haha

ktlee said...

I think that a purse addiction is something we can all relate to.

I get so ticked off with the whole WIC/Welfare thing as well. However, our state is one of the most generous in the nation. Stupid!

Hope your're feeling better!

Peggy said...

Hope you are feeling better today but just incase I am sending you a box of depends. Don't want you peeing on the carpet or furniture now do we? LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Ktlee,
yes, purse addiction is SO easy.

I have heard our state likes to supposrt these people out of the kindness of their heart...how sweet.

I am feeling much better, thank u sweey;)

Peggy,
man, if I start pissing on the floor and furniture, I would fit right in with Boo and the animals..haha

Choppzs said...

Ok, 1st things first, I hate welfare abusers!! Drives me insane. Although I will keep making babies myself, I will just make my husband work 2 or 3 jobs!!! lol

2ndly, I have tried taking away television. Ummmm, sorry to say, it came back after 2 days. I couldn't take it anymore. I love my sitter way to much!

3rdly, I am sorry you are barfing and shitting yourself!! It really sucks when you have to sit on the jon and barf in a wastebasket all at the same time!! Hope it leaves ya soon!!!

Kendra Lynn said...

Hope you feel better soon.
I highly recommend taking time off tv.
We go two or more days on a regular basis without our kids watching anything on the screen.
It works out well for us.

Kendra

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Choppzs,
wait, your gonna have more?..no, no...u will never get them all out of the ouse in time for retirement..haha

and i was shitting myself, i was pissing myself, good Lord woman..hehe

Kendra,
oh, i didnt think u had a tv at all..well I have been limiting it, and it does not seem to be panning out, cuz they drive me nuts and i turn it back on:)

aatank said...

Sorry about the Caps, I was doing somthing for work last night and was to lazy to change it this morning.

Oh yaa sorry about your pissing problem. Did you know that you can have plastic surgery to repair that? I saw it on Dr. 90210, where this girl had leaking problems when she coughed or sneezed, and they went in a tightened a muscle that gets streched when we have kids. I'm thinking about trying it someday.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

aatank,
well I sorta thought it ws not intetinal..i cant spell.

well, i only leak when i hurl..u know that forcfull hurl where your eyes sorta pop out and if u were carrying a load in the butt, it would find its way out?..I have only ever had the pee trickle out..THANK GOD.

my grandma has had that bladder surgery a few times..haha

Kelly said...

Are you sure you're not prego? You've been sick alot lately! I told you to stop stalking that blue wiggle!

Raggedy said...

I hope you are feeling better soon!
Get well!
Take care,
Hugs

Wendy said...

Don't worry, I'm a Noggin addict too. I even fight with my kid when he wants me to switch it over to friggin PBS or Nick Jr. WTF? Noggin is way better than friggin PBS.
About the peeing, I totally understand. Seems like after kids nothing down there works the same anymore.

Feel Better!

Hails said...

chin up bossy. Your a tough chick!

hope you feel better soon though! hugs

Kendra Lynn said...

I don't have a tv...I have a big sc`reen and a dvd player.
Our screen doesn't get any channels at all.
Its great. LOL
I take away Dora and disney and my girls play like crazy.

Kendra

Anonymous said...

the no tv thing can be good to a point, erin went thru a no tv challenge this month for school and made it about 9 days out of the whole month..damn American Idol. Sportacus looks a little like Antonio Banderas *purring*

Later Chump

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Kelly,
I have had a chest cold, no babies growing..shut your motuh!!

haha


Raggedy,
thank u my dear;)


Wendy,
I know, when Boo wants to watch Playhouse Disney, im like..um hell no..how lame are we?..haha


Hails,
thanks u sweety, I am a tough one..hehe

Kendra,
ok, I thought it was something like that...its a good way to do it.

Lady whom calls me chump,

Not only are the kids additcted to Amreican Idol, and The Boy likes Sanjaya, but they are also loving "are u smarter then a 5th grader?"

that show makes me feel like a Go*damn genoius.

Miss 1999 said...

Rant on Sister! It's all good-- I'm telling you, with the people who keep on having kids, I've never understood that shit-- it's like, when is enough, enough? Damn, you can get birth control FREE at any health department-- it's nuts!

After all the ranting is done, I hope ya have a good weekend! *hugs*

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Miss 1999,
I know, I dont get it myself..I mean, if u wanna sqeeze out kids yearly, try getting a damn job so u can supposrt it, cuz holy shit, I get nothing for free..

damn..

well my weekend should go pretty good, i dont have to work..haha

Jamie Dawn said...

It's time for Bossy's Barf and Piss Show!!
Hooray!!
One solid hour of ranting, complaining, and grade A bitching.
Bossy never leaves a complaint unsaid.
She also buys herself exquisite gifts and is able to get the laundry done at the same time.
Bossy is addicted to kids' TV shows, and she secretly is in love with Barney, but she doesn't even know it!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Jamie,
U know me so well:)

thats why I love u missy!
:)
:)

Tomscockwhore said...

I have a nasty head cold. And every time I cough, sneeze, or blow my nose, I squeeze my legs together REAL tight so I don't pee.

Yeah, super fun. How in the hell do the welfare baby makers do it? 5 kids, sheesh! I'd be peeing every time I breathed! Bad enough now as it is!

I feel so lousy I don't even want sex. Now that's SAYING something!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

TCW,
u must be sick then..haha

ya, I dont know how they do it either..i had three and a bad case of the vomits makes me trickle urine down my leg, not a good sign.

Beanie said...

and for those people...how about
stickacorkinit@hotmail.com
or
putyourlegstogether@yahoo.com

or
kissmyhairyassori'llripyournoseoffandchewthroughtoyoureyebrows

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

beanie,
isnt one of them your email?..haha

Fantastagirl said...

I'm with you on the making babies when you can't cope with the ones you have - like adding one more to the mix is going to make it all better, and I won't even get started on the welfare - it's there for people who are down on their luck and really need it, it's not supposed to be the only source of income....

Hope you are feeling better soon - sucks to puke and pee at the same time!