Tuesday, March 06, 2007

crazy

I will be the first to admit that I have issues. I sorta have a heart like the grinch, only mine isn't two sizes to small, it just has a big hole in it. I know it, everybody who knows me knows it. I don't hide it nor deny it.

I am the biggest pessimistic u will see, and the most judgmental. I DO judge a book by its cover, I believe your first impression of a person is usually right on.

Now I am a normal woman. Women are creatures that need to be dissected, cuz we don't make any sense.

If I meet someone, and they have bad teeth, I think they are lazy and stupid because they don't take the time to visit a dentist chair once every six months.

If your teeth are blinding white, that make me have to squint in order to focus on your face, I think you have porcelain vinears and are trying to hide the fact u had no teeth or bad teeth previously.

If your a nice looking woman who looks well groomed, I will assume you have had work done and have fake boobs.

If your unkept, meaning: greasy looking hair pulled back in a pony tail, or hell hangin in your face, dirt under your finger nails, or sporting stained sweatpants out in public, I will assume your welfare check just came and your coming to get your monthly supply of Frito lays.

if your at the store sporting same attire, but have a gaggle of kids whom have dirt on their face, uncombed hair and dirty clothes, I will assume that all the kids have different daddies and that I am somehow helping you support them..

by supplying your WIC or welfare.

See, I told you I am an awful bad person. But I admit it. I whole heartedly admit that I lack common sense and decentsy for other humans.

I am sorta like a wild animal. I just run on pure gut instincts. Sure fault me if u will.

I am human. I was born this way. Kinda like being born gay, I was born a cold heartless bitch.

I could give you many examples of my pessamistic nature, but I will save you the time. cuz I am cool like that.

~
I am having some troubles with a kitty of mine. I will likely kill her. I have had her for 6 years, and she has been a good wise cat. Since I brought home my new kitten in October, this cat thinks she doesn't have to obey my rules.

I found a spot in my bedroom where she has been pissing on my clothes..NOT Mr.Shakys clothes, just mine.

Its like she can spot what clothes I wear, then decides she needs to relieve herself on my shit....I think she may actually laugh and or chuckle to herself after she does it.

I swear, as God as my witness, if this keep it aint lookin good for her. I mean she is big enough to make a nice cat skin rug for my dining room.

And if my son misses the toilet again with his armed machine gun full of urine, he will be laid next to cat on the dining room floor.

How lazy do u have to be to NOT hold the penis down when firing into the john? I mean, it takes virtually no skill, because men aren't the skillful sort. I mean, if men had to actually sit down and wipe the urine from their bodies after each urination..They would literally smell like my cat ridden pissed garments.

Maybe that's me being judgmental again. But I think not.

As I sit here, laying in my bed...All I can think about is the clothes I have had to throw away because of my cat. Not only do I pay for this cats room and board, but I supply her with food and drink all day, as well as her own private shitting and pissing facilities. Yet, she takes it upon herself to pee pee over my some of my clothes , yet expect to remain living.

I don't know what gave her the idea I had transported her powder room right directly atop of my garments.

son of a bitch.

I have a lot weighing on my mind.

My cat pisses on my shit, my son pisses on my floor, I hate people, and cant find the good in anything.

I just hope to God that people out there don't think I paid for my boobs. I mean, they are big, and they are nicely shaped...Um..If I can say that..

I will make one bitchin preachers wife, dontcha think?

now you all just go into your prospected huddles and pray for me...

But don't forget to vote for me either...

Western Bracket

rock the vote people, I have issues, lets not piss the crazy lady off..

bee real

18 comments:

Miss 1999 said...

Nah, you're not crazy. You're just a plain ol' normal human. Well, as normal as one can be, since I haven't figured out what the hell normal really is anyway.

Ok, enough on the rambling. A lot of what you described, I do too. Maybe we're both bitches? That's ok, 'cause I like ya! *hugs*

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Miss 1999,
glad I am in good company:)..thanks for the attmept at a "pick me up"..hehe

Hails said...

Rite, this aussie dumbarse has now voted for the cold heartless bitch. Hope your happy. :OP

Anonymous said...

I think the same things about peaople. That would explian why, when I was painting my sons room in sweatpants and one of my husbands t-shirts, and ran out of paint, I had to get fully changed and put on make-up and everything before I ran to Lowe's! My husband thought I was crazy. He kepy shouting...go like you are....you look fine,lol!

aatank said...

I truely believe we are all judgemental in our own way, it's just that most of us don't have the balls to admit it. But thanks for telling me....so if we go out to lunch again I can panic that your thinking I'm not good enough or what I have had fixed.

As for the teeth crap...I would love a set of pearly veneers. My teeth suck.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Hails,
thank u dumbarse..haha

Annymous,
I know me too..Last fall when I ws painting my daughters room, I ran out of paint..the hardware is like 2 blocks from my house..yet..I had to fully shower and put my real clothes on..

its sad, but we do care what people think about us..its wrong..but there are more people out there like that then u think..

Aatank,
It doesnt count for people I know..This just applies to people I have never met...so your safe:)

flea said...

hee! too funny, and actually i do the same thing...so perhaps were all evil cold hearted bitches...nah!!

and i think your kitty has jealousy issues, my sister's cat does the same thing and now she drugs her, talk to your vet see what they say

~Deb said...

I agree with Miss 1999 - you're human. We all have our little 'thoughts' on different types of people of different lifestyles.

I have to say- my sister's cat just 'sprayed' her entire wardrobe. She's getting rid of everything. She has to go shopping and now wants to get rid of her cat...but she can't. She loves him anyway - but he was just marking his territory. That has to be the WORSE smell in the world though, huh???????

Neurotic1 said...

I'm right with ya! I always judge the book by the cover. Hell first impressions are everything. Funny thing is normally I am right. It drives Mr. Conservative crazy when I say something about someone and it ends up true! Why don't you have Boo train the cat to go in the pisser? It will keep them both busy ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Flea,
I like being a good comapny..

yes i think she is jelous..because she has never done this before..

i think she would run away if i let her outside..hehe

Deb,
cats are stupid..I want to get rid of her too, but I have had her since she was a baby..and she is 6 years old..she has been a great cat..up until now...

but i do get to go buy some new clothes,. so thats a plus..

maybe she was tired of seeing me wear the same ole rags year and after..she is just lookin out for me;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Nuerotic,
thats what I say too..the first impressions are the lasting..and I am 9 times outta ten right about people..its a gift:)

I like your idea, my luck they would just both start leakinig all over my shit.

Anonymous said...

I judge people who can't figure out whether "you're" or "your" is appropriate in the sentence.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes me too....I blame the spell check....the spell check does it automatically..

ya no, it aint got no grammer fixing..

People who have to send comments annymously cause they got no balls..yea, another one

:)
:)

Full Balls Js said...

why you let the cat piss on ur stuff?
what on you smells like somewhere a cat would piss?
I also am the grinchyest mofo ever. No i mean ever. I promise im worser than you about it. People don't refer to my heart they refer to my hole.
ha
so penis aiming is a problem for butch huh?
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
thats funny right there.
why u call ball-less on us anons??
js

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

slick willy,
well, i dont think i smell like something a cat needs to piss one, I think she is mad..she is female..we do that.

ball-less cuz no name..

dont come to tell me I dont use "your" right, when in fact I do, but y fucking spell checker changes it every damn time..so I just stopped giving a shit..and anyone who comes here knows i cant spell for shit and never use proper grammer..

balls checked and accounted for said...

ok whew!
i thunk i was falling in the ball-less category. I checked and whew! i was glad to see i was not!
whew again!
people suck when someone has something good like ur blog they want to do whatever they can to try to mess it up.

are you saying that women might piss on other peoples stuff if they are mad or moody?
js

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well i know gals whom have done worse things..

not me, but i have been a witness to such events..

as far as i know, u got balls

js said...

3 to be exact
i jest not

what have you witnessed u must tell
it'll just be tween us
js