Saturday, March 03, 2007

Two out of three aint bad

The one good thing about getting 4 feet of snow in a two day period is...

nothing..

The bees have been having fun playing in it, only problem is their sleds are under 4 feet of snow..They tried making snowmen, but its not the right kind of snow for that.

For you people whom do not know there are two different types of snow, Ole Bossy is gonna give u a crash course on them..

your first type of snow is what I call "heavy ass snow that sucks ass"

the heavy ass snow is wet, is easy to roll into to snow balls, and is harder then hell to shovel. This is the only kind of snow u can make a snowman with, or snow balls, or any sort of mundane object from snow...And trust me, u can make nearly anything outta snow..

Your second type of snow is what I call " fluffy, dry useless as shit snow but u can shovel without having chest pains"

Now this snow is so fluffy and dry. Now I know some of u morons wonder " but Bossy, how can snow be dry?"

Ok fools here is the scoop. Imagine you take a box of instant mashed potatoes or potato flakes and dump them on your floor and try to make a snow ball with them..

that's the type of snow that is..Its just like that...It blows, its easy to shovel, but it so light that it blows off your shovel and into your face..

I hate both types of snow, they each have their pluses, for the kids sake anyway, but the potato flake kind is easier to shovel...

Now, the 2 feet we got last week was the wet kind, the kind we got yesterday was the dry kind..

The dry snow has covered up the good making any mundane object snow , so the kids are pissed off, plus they cant sled down it, cuz holy shit, the sleds are buried under 8 feet of snow.

On my way to work last night, I saw the strangest thing. You see, I drive by the old , run down, ramshackle of a "trailer park" on my way..It is filled with "Mexican Folk"

Not saying that in a bad way, but hell, that's where all the Mexicans live, so um..Yeah..

Most of the trailers have no doors or windows...

I saw one lonely Mexican man outside his pride and joy of a home...It was midnight, and the little man was out shoveling..

with a rake.

A rake I normally use to rake up leaves. He seemed to be having a hellofa time moving snow with a leaf rake..And all I kept thinking was why doesn't he own a shovel?

Then the next morning, my kids are outside playing, I see Blondie Bee shoveling..

with my rake..

I asked her why not use the shovel?

Her answer

"momma, this is much easier"

Maybe them Mexicans know what they are doing...I mean they cant get your orders right at McDonald's and they speak no English, most have no teeth here..

but damn...They are on to something with this shoveling with a rake business..

Kudos to the dwellers at the city trailer park, kudos to you..


~
Ok, so starting Sunday u can vote for me in this blog awards thingy majig...If u click here




I think I am in the Western Confrences, as soon as she has the direct links up, I will post it..But all u do is scroll thru, look for a grayish box with my blog name in it, there will be two blogs per box..Just click the one u want..

Lets say u think I suck, well then pretend u are clicking for "worst blog"..

Lets say your mad because u have been calling the hotline for American Idol to vote for Sundance, but the line is busy but u just wanna vote for something..

well just head over and place your vote there...For me, not sundance, u wont find sundance over there..Sorry.

Thanks in advance, for either casting a vote for me, or against me..I don't care, just click for me..

if u value your life anyway. I mean I am not threatening anyone persay, but, well...

Ok, maybe I am.

If u wanna see our 12 feet of snow, scroll down the post below this shitty one..


Oh and I have decided I want a funeral like Anna Nicole Smith..

I wanna be laid up in a morgue rotting for 3 weeks, while my mother tries to steal my body, in hopes of stealing my baby, in hopes of stealing my 500 million dollars. Then I want my weasel of a friend, to keep the baby away from the babies real daddy, then trash eachother durring my eulogy..

Then I want Entertainment Tonight to pay said weasel..thru a thrid party of course, for tax purpsoes, thats all, to air my funral on tv while all parties involved are making a killin off it, at my expense and digitnity..

U dont get much more redneck then that people..

And dont forget to have my coffin with my rotted body in it, carried over a red carpet. Red looks so good on me..


Bee Real

16 comments:

Neurotic1 said...

Oh I remember too well the different kinds of snow. Now it doesn't matter what kind it is- I hate them both ;) Bizarre funeral, bizzare weasel friend, bizarre situation. Someone should put a choke hold on ol' Howard K. Stern! He is a creep!

Cliff Morrow said...

I agree with everything except one. Grandma said she wanted to raise the baby and she didn't want the money. Everybody around Howard K seems to be dying of a drug overdose. If it's possible, he's given the names 'attorney' and 'Howard Stern' even lower reputations.
I will vote for you because you work for the Sheriff and I don't want to be in your jail if you're not there all the time.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Neurtic,
Oh sweety, I LOATH both..me and snow go toghter like nicole richie and paris..

bizarre indeed girlfriend, and yes, crepp is written all over harwards face..

Cliff,
my main issue with the momma is letting her daughter rot in a morgue for 3 weeks while fighting this..Her daughter had her plot bought and picked out already..no fuss no muss..I lost all sorts of respect for that woman after that, and I feel she is out to make a buck, and last week when i was watching the bizzare court hearing on court tv, she avoided anwering questions related to her being paid or "profitting" from her own kids death...what a waste..

and thank you for the vote...I am sure u wont be let down..haha
:)

Fantastagirl said...

and now Daniel's father wants to move his body... all I can say is - let them rest in peace!

Jamie Dawn said...

In order to have a funeral and big media hoopla like Miss Anna, you will have to sleep with every male you come in contact with, then have another Bee, and have a reality show made about you - and I know you hate those reality shows.
If you DO decide to have a reality show about YOU, I would like to be the director of the show as well as your media manager.

BossyĆ¢™¥'s YOU said...

fantstagirl,
I know...the man didnt even go to his funreal..what a pathtic piece of dog crap..

Jamie,
consider yourself hired sweety:)

the perfect neck js said...

it appears that you have a by in the first round of voting meaning that you dont have to be voted to round 2 but get to go there by default. Thats what I can gather from 2.5 hours of studying Leeza over there
anyway
why u gotta always crack on the necks?
I bet not one neck ever shoveled with a rake!
hehe
hope your weekend is snowy and cold and and and and dark.
so take that neck hater!

Jerry said...

Bossy,
Just remember the phrase "Isn't the snow so pretty?" requires just one response. Hit the idiot who said it in the mouth with the business end of a snow shovel.

Kelly said...

Isn't this whole Anna thing just sickening? What other case could drag out a DNA test so long? Poor little girl. I think she should be with Larry, but that's just my opinion...not that you asked.

It finally stopped snowing here, good thing or I'd have to break out my rake!

Stop pickin' on them Mexicans girl! I always had a soft spot for those good lookin' dark, boys. No, seriously...Hubbs is debating on whether to take me on that Mexico vacation or not. Says I may decide to stay there, he may be right! Thought for sure I'd have some Hispanic babies of my own by now, who'd have guessed I'd marry TWO white boys??

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

slick willy,
well did u not read where i said th voting starts sunday?..damn cracker, follow the class will u?..haha

Jerry,
when ur right, ur right..amen.

kelly,
yes, i think that baby belongs to larry, i mean she looks just like him..

ole maury povich coulda had this dna figured out in one episode..

JD's Rose said...

I'm still stuck on the instant mashed potato and potato flakes! What the hell is that? Don't they have potatoes over there?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

JD,
haha...yes we do have potatos..but u can also buy a box of instant tots, which is flakes...Amreicnas are lazy...

:)

ktlee said...

Spring better come early after all this snow.

I talked to my sister today, she lives in Duluth and had 21 inches and 60 mph winds. She was stuck at work from Wednesday - today. She was home long enough to shower and had to go back.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Ktlee,
yes, it sure as hell better..

our snow fall from LAST week was 19 inches, our snow fall from THIS storm was about 2 feet..a tad more, but two feet more or less..

it just seems wrong...

Luckily I only work across town, and hell I would walk home beofre I would stay any longer then I had to..hehe

Britmum said...

I feel sorry for Anna Nicole Smith even more so for her baby daughter who has to try and grow up normal. I don't get why people don't leave shit alone. Let the woman rest in peace because she certainly can not defend herself now. O.k. rant done.. this topic just makes my blood boil.

Anyway tough shit about the snow bossy. lol You will miss it when its gone.

Take care xxx

P.S. I want to see a picture of you dressed for the snow.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

jojo,
no, I never miss the snow, infact, it rasies my blood presure..

AND, i dont evern dress for the snow, I dont own a pair of boots, gloves, scarf or hat..just my jacket, and half the time i dont wear that..

sorry to bust ur bubble..hehe