Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Never gonna get it

After a long hard day at the crazy house, I come home to crap. Not crap literally, like I did not come home and step into a pile of dog shit, or like one of my kids pooped their drawers on the kitchen floor. Nothing of that nature at all.

I come in the door, Shaky is standing over the stove top with an apron, making no bake cookies.

ok, he was not wearing an apron, but he might as well of been

First thing he asked me was " so did u buy regular tanning minutes today, or the extra minutes that burn your face off"

I have a slight burn because they stuck me in a bed with NEW bulbs.

Then he asked why I had my glasses on. i told him cuz I wanted too..He then bends his head slightly, looks at me and says " your glasses are crooked, and u look like your sister"

Then he asked me if I planned on bathing, as I stunk.

I wanted to take my fist, and either ram it up his asshole, or take my foot and ram it in same place.

I go take my bath, as I do nightly if I am home. I get my jammies on, and sit on my bed and watch my favourite comedy. This show is one of the best, and if I did not know for a fact this show uses no scripts, i would use what pull I have, or did have and beg to write for it..I would offer up my first born..

Curb your Enthusiasm, is great. No great is an understatement. I use to think The Office was my favorite comedy, but no..its this gem.

So after it was over, he asks what I am doing, like maybe he has sort of sick and twisted plan to tie me up or something..I don't know.

I told him I was going to bed.

I said you can not tell me that I smell, my tan looks like shit, and I resemble my obese sister and then expect to get laid.

That's not a way to woe your lady, or get her to want to speak other then naughty 4 letter words to your face.

So I am here, typing this, while Shaky is curled in the fetal position next to me snoring..


Bee Real


Fantastagirl said...

FIRST!!! I'm never first...


How does one bake no bake cookies?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oatmeal, peanut butter, coco..u have had them, everyone has..

u drop them on wax paper and wait for them to harden..

u know what I am talking about

Cliff Morrow said...

He'll get even anyway.
You write for a comedy show...yeah right.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I dont think he knows how to get even..

I know, I said "if" I could, I would want to write for that one..IF..yes..if I could chose, I would write for that one..

Working Mom said...

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but thanks for making me laugh. I needed it!

Neurotic1 said...

Withholding for one night is not enough for those words. I would say hold out for a month. That'll teach Mr. Shaky to be nice! Ummm- I haven't had no bake cookies in forever! I don't bake and I don't no bake either ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Working mom,
I am just sadden. Sadden at the fact this made u laugh..haha

a month huh?..maybe your right, cuz u know what my sister looks like..well what she use to look like anyway..

u dont bake OR no bake?..hahahahahaha

Kendra Lynn said...

I've got a book that Mr. Shaky needs to read. Its called, "His Needs Her Needs". That would show him how he's SUPPOSED to talk to his lady.


Britmum said...

Poor old Bossy, you seem to be in such a bad way lately.

I bet your face didn't look that bad. Its probably a lovely golden colour this morning.

love ya xx

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

sounds good to me..

U dont even know the half of it..hehe

The Kept Woman said...

Dude...even my husband isn't that stupid.

Jamie Dawn said...

You should have told Mr. Shaky he smelled like day old dirty diapers and his breath could knock over a rhino.

You writing for a comedy show would be super!
The show would NEVER be dull, and the audience could always count on a good laugh.
Also, you'd make big profits and could live wherever you wanted to, and you could hire people to do all your work for you.

Bons Bons and Sweet Tea!!
Masseuse and home facials and mani-pedis!!
Chef and personal trainer!!!!
All play all day!!!!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

there are only a few that stupid.

if only it really worked like sounds like a sweet deal though;)

Michele_3 said...

Guess hubby won't say that again right?? LOL!
I love Curb your Enthusiasm-
One of my favorites!!