Thursday, March 16, 2006

oye!

So the snow will be falling soon.I hate snow.

Blondie Bee is still on her death bed. And Mr. Shaky pants will soon be going into a "home". If he can continue to control his bowel and and bladder, I will let him stay here a bit longer. But one accident and he is gone...

Why is it that we mothers of toddlers can not even walk into a bathroom without tiny feet following us? I can not take a pee in quite anymore. Boo Bee chases me down..Opens the door and demands her hands be washed or to have her teeth brushed.

Listen boo bee, sometimes I just want to pick a zit in private...

I am old. This has recently come to my attention. Things I once thought to be enjoyable, are now chores. Such as....Getting up in the morning, pottying myself, finding clean clothes..Heck even the art of dressing is highly over rated.

Butch Bee is still fuming over the break up from ugly kid. He is all up in arms because Ugly Kid is having his best buddy "Brown haired kid" over on Friday , which is the day Butch Bee had wanted Brown Haired Kid to sleep over. You see, Friday is Butch Bee's birthday. He wants a sleepover with 2 friends..And ugly kid is not one of them. So Ugly Kid is having Brown haird kid over so that he cant sleep over here.

I want to take Ugly kid and run him over with my bike...Then drag his body down a dirt road...And make him pick up all poop he made in the neighborhood...Yes this kid craps outside....He needs a diaper and a good clubbing...

Bee Real

20 comments:

Princess said...

why do you hate snow? i think i would love to live near the snow or just have it snow once in a while. i would make snow angels! :P
hehe

poor blondie. i hope shes feelin better!

xoxo

Anonymous said...

YUCK where are UK's parents? he poops in public? isn't there laws?

we here, in this household have "Stinky Head Kid" SHK. I do NOT like him. my son insists on inviting this kid over, and he stinks up the entire house with his head smell. why can't parents make their kids wash? is it that difficult to tell your kid to use shampoo? and deoderant? the last two friends dyl has had over for a sleepover have had to be sprayed in the pit area. we just won't tolerate BO here.

SHK is also loud, and whiney. i have to yell over him. he constantly wants all the food that is expensive lunch food, he won't take no for an answer, and i just plain can't stand him. I forced dyl to go to his house last night.

by the way, you're ticking me off referring to yourself as "old". what about me? i must seem ancient to you. I might as well order my casket!
you are not old! you are just feeble! stop it! didyou know you can order caskets online from costco? i think i'll put one on layaway. want me to see if they have a 2 for 1 deal and go in with shakeypants?

Jill Monroe said...

You know, I thought that bathroom thing would stop after they got older. Nope, 7 and 9 - still there. The shower - the agony of taking a shower with people knocking on the door.

Karin said...

you know sometimes I long to be a mother and I am sad I have not yet had offspring and then I come around here and think to myself wow maybe not having kids yet is a good thing. It stinks that ugly kid is also a jerky kid and is ruining butch's brithday. Maybe Ugly kid could have a little accident and therefore will be unable to host brown haired biy this weekend. Maybe Meg should go breathe on him.

Anonymous said...

Snow? Again? crap.

eyes_only4him said...

princess,
well snow is a barging tool sent fomr the devil..becuase I could bargin just about anything in order to never see it again..its cold, its wet, it makes school be cancleled..honey i could go on and on..

so they dont get snow at all down under?..i may have found where I need to move now..

suzie,
ok, you can go ahead and get a tooferone specail at costco..letme know how much i am gonna owe ya.

jill,
amen..i think most males would defacate out of doors if we let them..they are vile creatures..teehee

karin,
sorry i am turning you agninst motherhood..but hey..just gving you a heads up;)

autumn,
helltotheno..not as bad here..school is still on..hope you dont have a lot to shovel;)

jacks,
well if your older than me..then yes..your even older..hahahahah

we didnt get as much snow as they said..but as i look out the window, its falling oretty hard now..damnit

Cliff said...

Indeed an inspirational and heartwarming post.
Don't let Ugly Kid crap in your yard or they'll be able to match his dna to the dna on your rope that you drug him with.

eyes_only4him said...

jacks,
but i dont want it..just for that, I am sending right to alpena...and adding 10 more inches to the storm..so there!!

cliff,
aww shucks..i wasnt going for heart warming, but i will take it:)

ugly kid will get his one day..i am hoping the hawks get him mid crap this summer;)

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

Ok, you can call him ugly kid now cause he poops in yards....ewwww!

When I have to potty, I run for the bathroom and Bug runs after me & usually I can make it to the door 1st & lock it. Then she screams bloody murder the whole time I'm in there. Mean, but hey, maybe she should be a little faster...lol

Kendra Lynn said...

LOL...I can't believe he poops outside. That is totally disgusting.
Then again, nine and ten year old boys are many many times disgusting. LOL
Hope your hubby starts feeling better.

eyes_only4him said...

denise,
yes...it makes ugly kd..even uglier..I dont ever lock the door, unless there are people in my house that dont live here..but it isnt a bad idea;)

kendra,
it isnt just little boys..I know some grown men who like to potty in the great outdoors;)

Felecia said...

Bossy, bossy, bossy... this is why we've installed LOCKS on our doors. The kids could be setting the dog on fire but you can bet that I'm not dealing with it until AFTER I do my business.

I think you should have chit-chat wtih brown-hair kid's mom and accidentally slip in the fact that UK has a nasty little habbit of crapping on the lawn. That may all of a sudden free up more of brown-hair kid's time!

Michele_3 said...

Don't even get me started on peaceful showers & alone potty breaks- Lord, they don't exist in my house, I guess that's what I get for having a house full of boys! I lock the door during showers but like you, the knocking never stops...(My husband is constantly reminding them I'm a girl who needs space) It drives me crazy!
My little one always has to follow everyone to pee, you would think he would be potty-trained by now, he's had enough demostrations. LOL!!

eyes_only4him said...

felcia,
well I amy start locking the door..I try to only do my huisness twice a day....I have a bladder that can hold 50 gallons and can go all day only peeing twice..pretty amazing really;)

I was thinking of calling brown haired kids mom today..but tommorw is friday..the kid might have already commieted to ugly kids sleepover..

i dont like this ugly kid..not one bit..how much snow did you get?

Michele,
when I take my showers in the morning I have to do it durring a show i know Boo Bee will sit thru, or lese she will find LOTS of trouble..then she will still come knock on the door and say " momma, come here"..dang kids

Felecia said...

Call the brown-hair kid's mom say the following: "I'm not sure what the plans are for Friday night, but Butch Bee would like a friend over for his birthday thought it would be fun to do a sleepover with your little guy."

(Throwing in the fact that it's his birthday should help...)

DO IT.

NOW.

(now who's bossy?) he he

We got another heap of snow - Andy thought it was about 3-4 inches total since last night but it's really fluffy this time; not like that nasty heavy wet stuff on Monday.

Jamie Dawn said...

You are gonna have to lock the bathroom door when you're in there. That way Boo can lay on the floor outside the door and say, "Momma! Momma! Momma!" over and over and over and over again.

Ugly Kid sounds hitonious!!

eyes_only4him said...

felcia,
are you giving me lip???

when i know his mom is home i am gonna send butch over with a note..dont worry, I am all over it:-)

Jamie,
heck when she cant get in, she lays on the floor and stick her tiny, yet chubby hands under the door and says " see momma see momma..see see see momma..my hands"

yes he is hitonius jamie..very hitonoius..

Anonymous said...

Hey Girlie. So sorry to hear that the little girl is sick. I can relate to the dread that can be faced in just getting showered, dressed, and out for the day. I guess that's what I'm going through right now. Instead of napping, I'm trying to get things done around here. I'm still exhausted even though I'm trying to stay active and the kids drive me really crazy insane really easily. They are literally up my butt all. the. time. :) <--Smile but so not funny. :) I will talk to you later. Don't rule me out of blogging forever but just a little bit longer. I felt the urge to blog the other night but it was about this sexual thing that happened between my husband and I . . . so I just didn't think it was appropriate. heehee :) Talk to you later. And, please hang in there. :)

eyes_only4him said...

Marel,
darn good thing you stopped by, I was gonna send out a search party to look for you..I was going to email you tongiht..funny how that worked....hopefully blondie bee will get better soon..she still has a fever today..well when you find the urge to blog..just blog..if its dirty..we wont mind..heehee

beth,
haha, I would rather your as$ be down not up..ok i have nothing, that was pretty lame...wanna come kidney punch the kid with me?

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Is Ugly Kid still being a pain ??? Where are the parents ??
Hope your day is improving.
Take care, Meow