Friday, September 16, 2005

The day the lights went out in Wallymart

So me and baby spawn head out to Walmart..Only to get paint mind you..Only paint...On the way baby spawn is trying to peek out her window..Then I hear "momma cows" I turn my head..And I will be damned if there aren't a heard of cows out her window..This baby is starting to make more sense everyday, kind scary..

We get to Walmart and I feel dirty going in..Like I am going into some seedy strip joint or sex toy shop..(not that I have ever been to either place..I am just assuming this)..We go over to the paint, I try to pick out a good shade if green..I get "rosemary green"..It looks good on the color swatch..Looks good all mixed up...So I am thinking...way to go you got yourself a good color ..I get home and paint..Then I realize it looks kinda like mint...Maybe a minty color pepto bismol...But it is staying..I am not painting it again....No how no way..uh-uh...

Anyway..While we were in line at Walmart to check out..The lights go out..I mean wallyworld is pitch black dark..And you could hear a pin drop...I was kinda all freaked out...I am thinking..Shit..I bet the doors wont open...Crap I am gonna die here in walmart..The very store I despise...How will my family explain this one away???? So I am thinking I should quickly maybe write my " death note" explaining why I was in walmart to start with...Just so everyone knows I was only in to by paint...Just paint...That is forgivable right??? right????..

Well the cash register only have half hour left of juice till they quit..And I had a man in front of me with a crap load of groceries...And the cashier is slower than molasses....Finally she gets to me....I am like hurry up lady I need to get out of here...Please hurry...Well she got done and I head for the doors..In the mean time baby spawn is saying " goodbye" to everyone she sees and giving them a very pleasant wave...Crap..I think baby spawn likes walmart..No..Cant be soo...No..Please not walmart..

The doors were pried open so we GOT OUT ALIVE...!!!

Now after I have the kitchen all painted...My ceramic tiles on the back splash look awful and don't match..So tomorrow I am off to Home Depot to get supplies to paint them...I will show you my finished product soon...I know you are all waiting with antipaction..Keep your britches on..Its coming:)

Well I am off to bed for the night...Have a good weekend friends:)

Toodles

7 comments:

momma of 2 said...

Hey - at least you have a choice other than Wal-mart - I need something and don't want to drive 60 miles - I get it at Wal-mart....

But we will forgive you - you can't buy paint at Target.

vani said...

I once got stuck at Walmart- some little girl went missing, and I too was shopping with my 2 yr old spawn at the time. So they closed the doors, letting no one in or out, no registers, nothing..just an annnouncement that a child is missing, the mother gets on the speaker to describe her LITTLE GIRL, ABOUT 2 YRS OLD, spanish (i too am spanish)..so I suddenly start getting evil looks from the people around me realizing they think that the kid sitting in my cart looks exactly like the missing kid! I was like, OH HELL NO!..I was ready to fight, I mean my daughter looks JUST LIKE ME for god's sake...there is no doubt. Thank god about 5 min later they found that damn kid..I never went back after that..lol

midwest_hick said...

Walmart is not one of my favorite shopping places either...I like Target much better.....Is it ok to change britches as long as I'm wearing em?

Kristen said...

I love your Walmart stories. Always an adventure.

Cliff Morrow said...

geez louise, we went to Omaha last nite and stopped at a Wal-Mart on the way out of town. What a hell hole. It was 11:00 pm and all the isles were filled with pallets o-stuff to be stocked. What a mess with some real 'low-life' working there.

Pyranthas said...

What does everyone have against walmart?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

not your wallmart..just wallmarts in genral:)