Friday, March 31, 2006

Bossy's a lil pissy

Something is pissing Bossy off. Trouble is Mr. Shaky pants forbids me to write about it...But its my blog and I should be able to write what I want..I guess he must be worried too that non- inviters are reading, I dunno..

But Bossy is upset bout something..probably no reason to be, but I am...

Mr shaky pants doesn't realize some things that I know for a fact....

As far as for me saying the kids are crazy...seeing clowns, and ghosts..ect..ect...let me just say that now I know for a certain fact where they get the crazies from....Sure some of my family are total wack jobs..But my family aint got nuttin on his..

That is all I can say.......

Bee Real

And so it goes..

My bees are crazy...They come by in honestly though..

Blondie bee refuses to go in the living room when its dark out because she claims to have seen a clown in the window one night when she was sleeping on the couch..

Boo Bee claims to have to "go potty" every 5 minutes then just sits on the pot , dangling her feet, chatting away, then telling me " go away momma, wanna pee lone"..Yet , she wont go on the potty yet..She also claims to see ghosts as well..

Butch Bee claims to see ghosts....He has even seen them go inside people...

order up..I need 3 straight jacket and a case of valum please...Make that STAT mmkay?

What, your selling crazy, no thanks we are fully stocked here.....Try the neighbors house..Thank you..

I am going to need to do some heavy drinking tonight to make these people I live with seem normal....but Im cool wit that....
Bee Real..

I am going to start an affair

With a guy named Gym.....As I in I am going to start going to the gym...Yes I know what your thinking

But Bossy, you have a treadmill, why do you want to go to the gym?

Well the reason is simple, I am not being challenged enough. I mainly want to go for the weights...I am working toward becoming that bodybuilder..Oh heck yeah..

And this gym is dirt cheap...It is only 37.50 a month. For unlimited use of the gym..And its open 24/7..So that means I can waddle my horse's behind up there at 11pm if I so wish..I don't want any gawkers...Place should be gawker free at that hour..Right?

I have decide I am going on Oprah's debt diet..Boy do we need it. With student loans, car loan, 2 houses, credit cards...Are you sitting down...If not, you better sit..

We are about 300,000 in debt..Can anyone top that?...If we could sell that home in Michigan, things would be SOO much better..But alas, it aint happening..

Now if Bossy could find a job, things would be even brighter.. I am still waiting for the hotel to call....If they don't call I will be burning it down..It seems no one wants to hire a fat, frumpy, SAHM...Oh drats...

I just would like the extra money, its not like any money I would make could make our debt go away..Unless I get one of my "friends" to take care of it all...And I don't have any "friends"

So I am going on the debt diet...Or burning down one of my houses....Not sure which yet..

Thanks for the comments on the wedding pics ...We are going out tonight..And I don't plan on putting out either..We are not going to Red Lobster..That is a deal breaker..

Bee Real

Thursday, March 30, 2006

For lack of anything better......

I know its not till Saturday..( April Fools Day) but I am gonna smother you with a few wedding pics...mmkay?..Shut your mouths and just enjoy it..okie dokie..

here is one of me and my maid of honor..She is my lesbian friend..She's been my very bestes friend since 1988...And never tried to kiss me once..Does that mean she don't like me?

Here is me and Mr shaky pants himself..He looks like a baby...We both have that youthful young glow...aww..Too be young again..

look at my pretty dress. You know who designed that?..That's right I did...I drew it up,sketched it, picked out the fabric..Then paid a lady a crap load of money to make it cause Bossy cant sew buttons on her britches..

April 1 , 1995 I signed away my rights..My rights to:

* playing the field

*being the town whore

*having babies with multiple boys

*getting herpes

*wearing a thong and fishnet stockings together out in public..

instead I have this

*the joy of knowing I don't have to put out to get a second date and a free dinner

*knowing that I will not have to have my hair done to go to the store

*not having to shower for days if I so choose

*having 3 cute kids..Who look like the milk man..Um I mean Mr shaky pants..

There ya have it...That's all I have for today....Red Lobster here I come....

Bee Real

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Shalom in the home

now that ole Bossy has her hive back, things are getting back to normal.

I could not get on my treadmill while they were here...It felt weird having the step FIL looking at my legs as I was running on it..

There was a paper in our door...I guess our good friends at Watchtower stopped by, and alas, Bossy missed the knock on the door. But they left their jargon in the door for me to trash. Mr.Shaky Pants decided to read it, out of boredom I guess.

In this it says that Jesus is here on Earth right at this very moment living in an invisible kingdom..He must be living in Delaware...You don't ever hear about anyone living there...Think about it..Do you know anyone in Delaware?..See..Told ya!!

also says there is paradise here on Earth...And to that I say you bethca, its called Hawaii..

I get to travel back to the homeland next week. Going wedding dress shopping with my soon to be mom...I am looking forward to it...

My wedding anniversary is Saturday...11 years on April fools Day....Mr Shaky Pants wants to go to Red Lobster..To this I say..

huh? You don't like shrimp and or lobster..In fact you don't eat shellfish or seafood of any kind...Very puzzling to me...Very puzzling indeed..

Lets I have anything else...Nope..Just a bunch of blabber nonsense that no one wants to hear anyway...

Bee Real

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


In a few short hours I will be free. I must say I was able to get thru it with no injuries or fatalities.

These are some things I had to hear

these are things the MIL said to me
"when are you going to realize he is perfect?"..referring to Mr shaky pants

to which I replied " when are you going to realize he isn't?"

then yesterday when I was attempting to read and comment on some blogs, the step FIL says
" oh, you must have a pen pal huh?"

me a pen pal? You are not serious are you?
" I know a guy at work who met this person on the internet and they turned out to be a criminal"

" oh really, you ask for that when you decide to meet people you don't know.."

" you can be anyone you want to be on the internet"

to which I said "sounds like you have some experince being someone your not on the internet.'

Over the last few days I have been asked at least 300 times if the door was locked. I was asked so this is clean huh?

I will be glad when I see their car descend down the path back to where they came from..I could go on and on about the crap Bossy dealt with, but I will spare you, cause I am cool like that..

I will be back to my normal scheduled blogging soon...Thank you for bearing with me thru this rough patch...This has been a very bleak few days..Bleak indeed..

Bee Real

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Saturday is all right for fighting

lets see, its Sunday so that means 3 more days till they leave.....But who is counting..?

I don't like people touching my things...Or dirtying my dishes,,,this is why I buy paper plates...Because I want to deplete the earth's natural resources and I am saving myself having to perform dish duty..

we went roller skating Saturday...Um, I saw a robin in my yard...Butch bee has an ear infection....Now Mr shaky pants has the bird flu....

when bossy had it, not only did I have to still take care of him...But everyone else too....But now MIL is telling him he needs to rest...oh hell no..

he will function as I had to..I don't care if your lyme diease is flaring will change a diaper, fix a plate or whatever else I say...mmmkay..

oh, and I don't need to be asked 100 times if the doors are locked......

bee real

Friday, March 24, 2006

There heerreee

at 6 am central standard time they arrived at my doorstep. Awakened my Boo Bee.

I still have sleep in my eyes.

I need to shower. They are napping.

I need to get my day going, need to make it look like I am super busy. Too busy to have small talk, exchange hugs, or glances.

There are donuts on my table. Bossy does not eat donuts, and the bees are not allowed to eat donuts. damnitalltoheck

I need to go shower, did I say that already?

Gotta look busy...busy busy busy..

Please pray, pray that these feeble old folks will not be mistreated too much, and that I can keep my mouth at a nice quiet steady pace...Not mouthing off too much, or causing to much trouble..

I don't see it happening....

Bee Real

Thursday, March 23, 2006

busy bee with bird flu

so Bossy Bee over here is still not feeling right. I feel like I am inhaling tiny peices of ice cold glass when I breath in. I am trying not to breath. Many people wish I would stop breathing, but alas, breathing has a strong hold on my person. I keep breathing, I am weak.

Butch Bee has a fever of nearly 104. He creid, " I feel like I am melting" And boy I know I coulda coooked me a nice egg over meduim on his backside..but I dont eat eggs..

Mr. Shaky pants had his test done, they shoved a needle into his spinal column. Still dont compare to pushing out 3 babies the sizes of water melons out something the size of a do the math on that one..

Hopefully by weeks end we will know if the Ticks have got him..Curse you Lyme Diease..curse you I say.. As long as the stuff isnt contagoius..Im cool with that.

My MIL will be here tomorow. She will be here till Tuesday. Have mercy on me Lord, I am a good girl.

I wont be spending much time on here while she is meandering around my hive. Dont need her going back giving detailed descriptions on how I dont have a job, yet dont iron and hang up her sons clothes..and that I spend way too much time on that little black box that looks like a tv...

I am in for 4 gloroius days with the in laws....please pray for me..

Well I need to go give out motrin, wipe noses, give baths, get hubby drinks..( he can not walk around after his "procedure", then get dishes and laundry done, workout, go tanning, workout again,mop the floor, do more laundry,fetch hubby something again, get Boo Bee out of the tiolet, let the dog in and out about 15 times, bath myslef, get hubby ice cream sandwhich ,and go to bed.....this is my few days off cuz I am sick..hip hip horray..

Oh forgot to tell you..I have a job interview and a lil fancy hotel here in town...I applied for a desk clerk thing...they have apool..I like swimming...nuf said..

Bee real

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

updating my peeps

I am still dying of the bird flu. Butch Bee is as well.

Mr. Shaky pants went today to get jammed in the back with a needle so they could suck some spinal fluid out.

Boo Bee has a double ear infection and she took a huge dump of diareaha at the doctors office yesterday, then told the doctor she smelled " disgusting"

Also told the doctor " adious" as she left the room. doc says
" how does she know spanish?"

"um, Dora"

Bee Real

oh and i think my computer has a virus too..hense i can not spell check..dangitalltoheck

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Ole Bossy is succumbing....

Well my female Bees seem to be on the mend, but now Butch Bee has a high fever and having a crappy spring break. He is resting on the "davenport" as my grandma would call it, and watching TV and sipping on juice and consuming popsicles in mass quantities..

Poor Bee was suppose to spend the night with Becky Bee last night, but now he has to stay to the confines of the hive here. He told me yesterday that she is my mom and that she knows how to take care of a sick kid, and that she probably has more skills than I do since she is older..

I get back talk..I am wiping your nose, getting you beverages and snacks, taking your temparature upon your request..Which is every 15 minutes or so...

After I took his temp and it read 101.5 he was sure the end was near...He puts his hand atop his forehead and proclaims

" boy, my forehead is steaming hot"

so I say " come here and let me kiss it."

" no mom, your lips might burn"

aww, you DO love me...When you care enough to worry bout lips burning, that is true love alright..

I must say with a heavy heart , that I Bossy, have succumbed to the rapid Bird Flu epidemic in my hive. My temp is already almost 99..Yes folks...You read that right...99..

My throat is scratchy, I feel a bit chilly, head is a tad achey, chest is a tad congested..


I was watching Dr Phil Monday and there was a woman on there who says she can not do housework because who boobs are too big..

Ok, works for me..

My MIL will be here Friday. She is staying for a few days..So with my Bird Flu, my sick Butch Bee, and the preparations for the coming of the MIL...

getting her cage warmed up....

I may be out of commission for a few days..Don't panic...I will try and check in on everyone before bed, Lord willing..

I have the bird flu, MR shaky Pants has either lyme diease or a bad dental infection...Life is good...Yup..Life is good

Bee Real

Monday, March 20, 2006

Lyme anyone??

Ok so MR. Shaky Pants is off for a MRI of his spine and neck this morning. They called him this morning to tell him his test for Lyme diease came back positive. Which this makes no sense. He only has one symptom of Lyme , plus that symptom is so common it could be for any number of things. I know those test come back with false readings all the time..My mom even had a false positive Lyme test years ago.

He has to have a lumbar puncture Wednesday.

I was reading about the false positive reading..He either has syphilis or a dental infection..In either case he haas some explaining to do...

Or it could just be a false reading...Or he could have it...I highly doubt it..

Ok, has anyone here ever had a false positive reading on a Lyme test?..Anyone, anyone , anyone?

I knew I shoulda finished med school..dangitalltoheck

So we still no nothing....Nothing seems to be what I know best these days.

Carry on then, we are done here..

Bee Real

ok, just to be clear I do not think he has was suppose to be a funny..just want to make it clear...haha

Now go read the post about the Toys..this one is not really that funny or amusing in the least..mmkay??

You have lost your youthfulness

As a youngster I sometimes felt jilted, or left out if you will. It seemed all the toys I wanted, my friends had..But not lil ole me.

Let me give you some examples. I always wanted the tree house that the wood little people went in. It was a big tree with green leaves and you opened it and inside was there house..What kid wouldn't want the splendor that was the tree house?..Well my best friend Brenda who lived 3 doors down had one. Not me.

I also wanted a light brite. Again, my parental figures failed to get me one. My friend Hollie had one. The bi*ch never let me play with it.

Then there was the game Operation...Oh I woulda killed for one of them..I knew a girl who had one, I only befriended her because I knew she had one. She was kinda scuzzy, but she lived right around the corner. Her house always smelled like onions and pee..Not a good combination, well not good separately either..anyhoo, I used her to play operation. But soon the smell and the scuzziness became too much for lil ole Bossy britches. And Operation became no more.

Now these are the toys I had, but were just not all that.
1. Twister.need I say more, after 5 minutes I had wanted to smash it

3.Baby Alive....Who thought it was a good idea to invent a doll that craps out her rear end?

4. Easy bake oven....Now this is a toy that Blondie Bee finds very amusing. I can remember as a tot thinking..this cake is too damn small....No way I am sharing this with my sister..

I now find myself buying my kids toys I had wanted. I bought them a lite brite a few years ago, they were not impressed..For the first few weeks I sat alone in a dark room.

Then I tried buying them the Little People...They are plastic now...And there is no stinking treehouse..I hate it when the wreck a good thing...

So Butch Bee got a gift card to Toys R US for his birthday. We went Sunday, and Mr. Shaky Pants told him he can not buy me anything...I tried hard to talk him into wanting operation....

mom that game looks stupid....If you want it, you buy it yourself...

We walked in the doors of toys r us and its like the angles are singing to me...Calling my name...I wandered down the Cabbage Patch asle...I whispered,I love you cabbage patch baby...I will be back for one of you....

I then saw some hulla hoops and those skip it things....I told them..When I bring Blondie Bee here, we will clean you guys out...she loves hulla hooping..

For some reason my dear son wandered down the Star Wars aisle and would not budge...Its like he was in some kind of magnetic force field of sorts...He could not be pulled, coaxed or talked down...

Now when I took Blondie Bee for her spending spree at her birthday, she looked up and down every aisle. Poor kid was so over whelmed. She told us she needed to go home and watch some commercials to figure out what she wanted..she was going to do some research , if you will..

Oh to be a kid again....If I could only go thru life only wondering if I should get the pink Big Wheel or the Sit and Spin..Life would be so much easier..

what toy did you want but never got?

Bee Real

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Can u really become a man overnight?

The birthday festivities are done. Another year has come and gone, and my son is a year older. It seemed like the morning of March 17th, when my son approached me, he looked as though he had sprouted a foot over night and has the startings of a mustache and goatee. I am sure its all in my head, or maybe he just needs a bath.

Here are some pics to wet your whistle...You know you have been waiting..

The cake

Butch Bee...Making sure I put the right number of candles on the cake. I am not a Moran dude.

Boo Bee testing to make sure it aint full of poison

Becky Bee..(Bossy Bee's parental figure)

Becky Bee..Again...Walking to the potty room..

Blondie Bee, Butch Bee, and Big foot Bee..( Butch bee's buddy..He has huge feet)

Butch Bee blabbing on the phone

Butch Bee......Yup that's him alright

It seems The Bird Flu is running rampid thru my home. Blondie Bee was sick all last week with a fever and such..She missed a whole week of school and she still doesnt look up to par. She went off to the children's museum with her little friend, I hope she has a good time.

Boo Bee is dyeing now..High fever..No apatite..Grumpy..

Well have a good weekend, I will be back Monday to check on all my honeybees...

Monday is the start of Spring Break here, man it sounds like tons of fun don't it?

Bee Real

Friday, March 17, 2006

Although he is bigger than your average leprechaun

Dearest Butch Bee,
Today you embark on a journey of sorts. Another milestone has passed. You have successfully managed to go one more year without me doing great bodily harm to your person.

Today you are nine years old. Almost a freaking decade old. This means I am also almost a decade older, but we wont go there..

Over these past nine years these are a few things I have witnessed from you..

*being totally obbssesed with Woody and Buzzlight year. I mean they both could of ordered a restraining order against you at any time

* being totally fascinated by dinosaurs. You know so much about them that your first, second and even third grade teachers would tell me how you corrected them on certain things...And each teacher looked up what you had told them..And indeed, you earned your place as the dino king..

* Being totally fixated with stop signs....I wont even go into detail..But it was pretty weird just sayin..

*becoming a big brother.....Granted , with your first baby sister I had to untangle a many plastic bags you had put on her head...But I am sure it was just pure accidental on your part..

*becoming a big brother for a second time..Well this time you were an old pro..You are so good to Boo Bee...You even let her touch your star wars dolls..I mean action figures..And you will even go into a light saber battle and pretend to die..

All and all you are a good boy. A bit of a drama queen at times, but you are a good boy..

when you were just a few weeks old you were very sick. You had to go and have an operation..I was so scared. But now nine years later your as healthy as a horse.

You have managed to live about 7 years of your life eating only peanut butter sandwiches, cheez its, bananas, ginger ale and milk....Hats off to you my friend, hats off..

Hope you have a good birthday, and NO Ugly Kid can NOT come over. Let him crap in someone else's yard....

I love you butch bee...

love bossy mom:)

Thursday, March 16, 2006


So the snow will be falling soon.I hate snow.

Blondie Bee is still on her death bed. And Mr. Shaky pants will soon be going into a "home". If he can continue to control his bowel and and bladder, I will let him stay here a bit longer. But one accident and he is gone...

Why is it that we mothers of toddlers can not even walk into a bathroom without tiny feet following us? I can not take a pee in quite anymore. Boo Bee chases me down..Opens the door and demands her hands be washed or to have her teeth brushed.

Listen boo bee, sometimes I just want to pick a zit in private...

I am old. This has recently come to my attention. Things I once thought to be enjoyable, are now chores. Such as....Getting up in the morning, pottying myself, finding clean clothes..Heck even the art of dressing is highly over rated.

Butch Bee is still fuming over the break up from ugly kid. He is all up in arms because Ugly Kid is having his best buddy "Brown haired kid" over on Friday , which is the day Butch Bee had wanted Brown Haired Kid to sleep over. You see, Friday is Butch Bee's birthday. He wants a sleepover with 2 friends..And ugly kid is not one of them. So Ugly Kid is having Brown haird kid over so that he cant sleep over here.

I want to take Ugly kid and run him over with my bike...Then drag his body down a dirt road...And make him pick up all poop he made in the neighborhood...Yes this kid craps outside....He needs a diaper and a good clubbing...

Bee Real

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Are you there God? Its me Bossy

ok this is what has went on so far today..And its only noon

1. Blondie Bee has a fever of 103.3
2. She cries cuz she cant go to school...And she is star of the week

3. She has a virus...
4. She saw a monster on the door in the doc's office..I need whatever she is on

5. Mr. Shaky Pants tests came back normal, now they are doing an MRI of the spine , cause there might be something back there compressing on things....So again, we know nothing...

6. We are under a winter storm warning......damnitalltoheck
7.I had to bribe Boo bee home with offering chicken nuggets from the crappy place with the ugly clown and big shoes.

There that about sums it up..Blondie Bee is sleeping here on the couch and Boo Bee is watching Days of Our lives with me and munching on her chicken..Only good thing in the future is her nap.

Bee Real


well Mr. Shaky pants had a successful birthday. I mean if your alive to celebrate it, I call that a success.

His mother called to wish him a happy whatever and I could hear her talking as I was sitting here eavesdropping. She says, " so how many birthday's does this make now?"

Mr shaky pants replies with " 37"

which a total lie , he is 35

she then says, "wow, 37"

Mr shaky pants " mom, I am really 35."

" oh I knew that....I just wasn't paying attention "

if I ever get so old and senile I don't remember how old the bees are...Just unplug my machine ok?

I will update on the bottom of this after Mr Shaky appointment.....check back around noon or so if you want to know what he found out..

I call Boo Bee I say " Boo, come here"

to which she says "what's up mom"

My gosh.....I give up..

Blondie Bee is star of the week at school this week. She is in kindergarten, and this town/state sucks so bad because she only goes every other day...anyhoo she was suppose to go Monday but there was a snow day.

She cried and cried because they cancelled school Monday. This girl knows she is getting short changed on being star of the week. Well now the girl has a fever and tummy ache....Not sure if she is going to school Wed. Or not..Poor kid...She just cant catch a break.

Ok this is all I have, be sure to check back later for an update on the appointment..He may be off to a home sooner than expected, cause this girl will not change adult diapers or wipe drool from anyone over the age of 6 months..mmkay...

Bee Real

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Lost in translation

It has come to my attention that I am the only mortal being that can decipher what my Baby Boo Bee says when she speaks. Some may say she speaks in tongues or in some kind of mid evil code. Truth is , only the brightest minds and most gifted persons can understand her..Which is why I am the only one who can carry on a conversation with her..

Boo Speak : " I want sex momma, sex momma"
Translation: " I want some socks mom"

Boo Speak: " no shit momma, I no shit"
Translation: " I don't have a shirt momma"

Boo Speak: " I want red Jews, Jews peeees"
Translation: " could I bother you for a bit of red juice my lady"

Boo Speak:" Ieetzs peeees"
Translation: " yo, mom could I have some cheeze its please"

Boo Speak: " damn it"
Translation: " ok, that one is pretty self explanatory"

Today is Mr. Shaky Pants 35th birthday. I better go make some kind of baked goods. I think that is what is expected outta me. People expect too much from me. I am fat, lazy and try to do as little as possible daily...

And I like it that way....

Bee Real

Monday, March 13, 2006

Big guns and flabby abs

We had a snow day today. This means I was home with all three kids ..All day long..

I decided I had nothing better to do then to take really stupid pictures.

Of body parts..Sounds like fun huh? I thought so..

First off I will start of one from few months ago...My arm before I started working the heck outta them..

Now this is what I took today....wanna see my big guns?....Ok here ya go..

I will punch your lights out if ya mess wit me..mmaky?

Now we move on to the abdominal area....Now mind you, it is pretty flabby, I need to start doing more crunches..And the stretch marks, don't get me started on that...That's what having 3 kids will do to ya...Im just sayin..Now my Boo Bee is the one who took those..I was laying on the floor and she picked up the camera and said " momma tummy..Cover up"..Then she started shooting ...

Now we have learned another important lesson here.....Do crunches....And keep your shirt down at all times...

Ok, anyone catch The DoodleBops today?...They totally have a new DeeDee Doodle..They can not pull the wool over my eyes..

Sorry to spoil your dinner, but heck..I don't know any of you anyway..But use this as a tool to not over eat or have kids..mmmkay..

Bee Real

Technology sucks donkey balls

Ok, so I have been thinking about stuff. I really don't think all the advances in technology are all that. And let me tell you why...Let me enlighten you ,if you will.

Now I have a pretty good collection of CD's. Ten years ago I swore I would never buy a CD. I would keep faithful to my trusty casstette tapes. I would never buy a CD player..No how, now way.

Well it was starting to get harder and harder to find cassettes and such so I had to break down and buy CD's. Now mind you in the last 10 plus years I have went thru a number of CD players. No matter how much I spend on one, it always seems to break down in one form or another. And I still have 2 cassette players from my youth, one from when I was 10 freaking years old and it still works..Along with my record player.

I have also found that my CD's and DVD's get scratched way too easy. I have many I cant even play anymore because of little tiny scratches. Now with my cassette tapes, I could always wind those suckers back up if the tape got caught. It was a very simple fix people..You take your finger tip or a pencil even, and you wind...Keep winding till she nice and tight. Even if it got to the point where it was a little crumpled it would still play, it would just be distorted over that spot, then play like normal after that part passed..

Same with vcr tapes. Those were easy fixes too. You just use the same technique...Wind er up and she is good to go..

But now I find myself getting not much use out of CD's or DVD's..They scratch way too easy..And I think this is what the makers want, they want us to wreck them, so we keep buying. Well sorry suckas..I am on to you..I just download everything to my trusty IPOD now, suck it people..Not gonna get me anymore..

and I will just start buying bootlegged movies, I mean I can afford to spend 2 fifty on movie for it to work only once or twice.

I am telling you, it is a huge conspiracy. There was nothing wrong with vcr tapes or cassettes...They just want us to think they are bad, when really, that was the only way to go. The tricked me, but I tell you what, they wont be tricking ole Bossy ever again..

On to family matter. Mr. Shaky pants has a birthday on Tuesday, Butch Bee has one Friday and Mr Shaky pants has his other appointment Wed...His symptoms are getting worse, now all his muscle groups are affected..He is going to hell in a hand basket...

Butch Bee was wanting to play with one of his friends Sunday. This friend could not play as he had company over. So Butch Bee wanted to play with this kid I can not stand...I will call him Ugly Kid..

Butch Bee goes on and on about how Ugly Kid makes him mad all the time..SO one day I told him to stop playing with Ugly Kid.

Sunday Butch Bee says " well I cant go play with Ugly Kid, Because you made me break up with him"

I only hope its that easy when he bring home Ugly Girl..

Bee Real

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Rinking it

Well today the kids had some kind of barbaric function with the church. You know where we went? Go ahead and guess.

Ok I will tell you. We went to the roller rink. That's right, you heard me, the freaking roller rink. Now mind you, from the years of 1986-1992 I had frequented my local rink weekly..Every freaking weekend. Mr shaky pants even worked there, as a skate guard and DJ..That's right folks, I am married to a former rink disc jockey.

Now in my day, we took our roller skating with the upmost seriousness. There were many rules at our roller rink, the place was very clean and very well maintained. A few of my friends even got jobs there working in the snack bar and such...Me, I was too lazy to work...

The thing about the rinking experience I miss, is the music and all alround feeling of pure joy. Those were some of the best days...But alas, I had to grow up and they turned our local rink into a video store and dollar store....Really sad ..Really..

But here in this state I did not know what to expect out of the rinking scene. I was hoping to re-live some kind of weird moment, a moment I have been missing.

Instead , it goes something like this....

there is utter chaos, the rink floor has people going in all directions..This is against regulation..Has to be..

People walking around with shoes on...This would not fly at my old stomping ground...Wearing shoes beyond the front door was prohibited....That could get you a ticket outta there..

and the music...Don't get Bossy started on the music....If I hear "who let the dogs out" one more time I will shoot someone...Of heaven forbid a Kelly Clarkson song..

What happen to the good music?.....I felt like a fuddy duddy, I didn't know any of songs...

Well they played one Madonna song.................And one Kiss song...

In my day I coulda skated circles around some of the hoo-haas I saw trying to be cool. But with my hair, my eye brows and 30 extra pounds in the trunk..I wasn't going to risk it.

The bees had fun, Butch Bee was even sporting some tricks before we left. I coulda SO showed him some goods moves.....Damn the eye brows..Why have you forsaken my confidence...

Oh you know what, I had not weighed myself since around the holidays. Out of fear mostly, cause I did make lots of chocolaty balls..Remember..

Well Friday I decided I needed to be a man, and step on to see what I am dealing with..The number I was thinking I weighed was a fear....But when I stepped on..I weighed 20 pounds less than I thought I did..And 10 pounds less than the last time I had weighed myself...

I guess I don't have much junk in the trunk as I thought I did...Its all in the front seat I guess..

Bee Real

Friday, March 10, 2006

pop quiz

I have seen this on a few sites, and i wanted to play here is my quiz..Lets see how well you know ole Bossy..

Take my Quiz on!

Good Luck.....and have a good weekend..

Bee Real

R my brows in yet?

As I keep looking at the mess I have created on my person, I see that I truly need an eyebrow transplant..I am thinking I need to trim some hair from the back of my head and ever so slightly and delicately put tiny drops of super glue on the ends. Then I will fixate the strands of hair to where my eyebrows should be. Drastic times call for drastic measures people...

But it has come to my immediate attention that I am dire need of a brow lift. Better just make that a whole body lift. It will be smarter to get all the work done at once, better to only go under the knife once...Keep cost down that way.

Last night Mr Shaky Pants was in charge of making the mashed tators. I see him add a great big glob of butter and I noticed it was not my I cant believe its not butter fat free spread. To my dismay I look and ask.." What are you doing? Why aren't you using my butter?"

" Because that stuff taste like dog crap"

ok how the heck do you even know what dog crap taste like?

Bee Real

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Look away, I am a monster.......

I had forgot to mention that Sunday I colored my hair. I am trying to get it back to its original color, which is like a light ashy blonde flavor. I have been sporting a dark brunette for over a year now, and just ready to get back to my normal self.

Anyhoo, I picked up the lightest blonde I could find as I know it will take a lot to cover up the dark. Well to make a long story short, my roots are brite blonde and the rest is a darker strawberry blonde. I am what you may call two tone...Then last week while I was tanning I got raccoon eyes so I was doubly two tone.

Well yesterday I completed my hideous makeover transformation. When I was shaping my eyebrows I was not paying attention. I took way too much off the right brow, and I could not get the left one to even look halfway close. So it looks like I am wide awake on one side, and a total freak job on the other side..

I am a two toned, freaky eyebrow piece a something right now..

Note to self....Pay the professionals, that's what they are for.....

And no, there will be no Kodak moments to fully document my transformation. So don't even ask suckas....Don't even ask...

Bee Real

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Such a rush, but no hurry

Have you ever noticed during the beginning of the Holiday Season folks are in such a rush to get their Christmas Decorations up, but yet they are in no hurry to get them down? I have a few morans on my street who are still sporting their holiday decor, and trust me, it has been up since before Thanksgiving...And there has been plenty of nice days to get the crap down. Pretty soon I am going to start my own "neighborhood watch" program and help these nice folks take their crap down...

Sorry for them, but where its going , they wont be using it next year..

during dinner last night Boo Bee looked at her plate and started eating her potatoes. I told her to eat her meat. She looks at it, picks and pokes at it, then says " gross"

Then half hour later she takes the laundry basket, uses it for a ladder and dips her hand in my " I cant believe its not butter fat free spread" and says " momma this good"

I see I need to take some culinary courses if my baby would rather eat butter than my cooking.

Here is something I stole from Angel Jr.....

You take your favorite singer/band and answer the questions using their songs..Get it?..Here is mine..

1. Name of band/artist: Elton John

2. Are you male or female?: All the girls love Alice

3. Describe yourself: Madman across the water

4. How do you feel about yourself?: I think Im gonna kill myself

5. Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Honky Cat

6. Describe current girlfriend/boyfriend: The one

7. Describe where you want to be: Take me to the pilot

8. Describe how you live: Saturday's all right for fighting

9. Describe how you love: original Sin

10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish?: 60 years on

11. Share a few words of Wisdom: The bitch is back

wasn't that fun?

Bee Real

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Must be my lucky week..

So again I went to my mail and what do you think was there? Bills?...Yup...But also a package from Peggy..
Remember when I was complaining about not being able to get mittens in February? Well Peggy sent Blondie Bee the cutest hat, mittens and scarf...Look here....

Blondie and her new duds

Then of course Boo bee had to get in on the action...

And I can not forget Butch Bee, he is sporting a peace sign..

There I got all the Bee's covered...

But thank you Peggy, that was a nice little surprise today..Your such a kind and sweet lady.


Now my Boo bee comes running up from the lower level of the hive last night saying

" momma poop"....Which means she just crapped her pants . So she lays down on the floor with a clean diaper for me to change, when I take off the diaper she says

" momma that's gross, poop gross"

why yes, yes my little Bee poop is gross, will you please make your deposits in the crapper from now on?...mmmkay?

Bee Real

Monday, March 06, 2006

Cuteness only goes so far

I have said before how I let my Boo bee get away with everything, and that she could very well talk me into committing robbery, assault, or even dare I say, jay walking..

The other night Boo bee , Mr shaky pants and I were in the lower level of your hive, and boo bee was dancing around to music from her piano. Mr shaky pants was telling her to quiet down because he could not hear what I was I ever say anything important..

And do you know what my cute little Boo bee said...??????????
She said " shut up dad"..Just like that, it rolled off her tongue ever so nicely. Now I don't ever tell the bees to shut up, but I do tell the dog to shut up sometimes..My bees all consider shut up to be a naughty word.

I look at my boo bee and wonder how such a cute girl can have such a vile mouth. Later on that night she was playing with her blocks, she was building a pad for her race car and babrie doll. The tower got to tall and it tipped over. Guess what she said??????????????

" damn it".

My little boo bee said Damn it...Ok now I might let that one roll off the tongue at a more high rate of speed than shut up, but she isn't suppose to be listening to every word I say....Not only is she throwing out shut up and damn it....But she now is demanding to eat what ever she feels like for every meal, and demands chicken nuggets for every meal. Now once a week we get her chicken nuggets from the place with the ugly , scary clown with the big red shoes..But now every time I or Mr shaky pants leave the hive, she wonders where her chicken is when we return..

I need to trade the bee model in. Maybe for a much uglier model, it is her cuteness that doesn't make me pummel her for saying "damn it"

I have been thinking about getting a job, I am getting a little bored of being here in the hive all day...So I went and applied at the mother of all stores, the God of all department store shopping....

You fill out the application on a computer..You will never guess what one of my questions were..

" do you find that politicians are

A. Mostly truthful
b. Truthful 50 percent of the time
C. Truthful 40 percent of the time
D. Truthful less that 20 percent of the time..."

WTF...........What does my political thoughts have any thing to do weather or not I can ring an item up or make sure that the size 3's are not with the size 12's?

If I do not get the job it will be clear to me that the store is run by Repulicans..

BTW, I know your here....I know you found me...You must not know my blog tells me who comes here and where you are from and also gives me your IP address....I know you were here Sunday afternoon...Please don't make yourself seen here again....This is private...Your not invited..Please get the helloutua here...Thank you..

Bee Real

Friday, March 03, 2006

Look what I got suckas..

I went to check my mail today, not unlike any other day, and I find a lil something for me in there. And it was not a bill, or a credit card come on..

Look what my blogger friend Meow sent me.....

Go pay her a visit, she lives down under ya know...

Thank you Meow........It really brightened my blah kinda day...


Here is another photo for your viewing pleasure..Guess what this is. The winner will receive a big fat red lolly...

Now if your a diabetic your prize will be a glass of water...

Bee Real


Thanks for all the kind words and prayers....Please keep them coming..

I was not going to post again, but I feel the need too.

Lately I have been feeling as though I am losing my mind. I get short tempered with the worker bees on nearly everything they ask of me. I find myself yelling and being a mean SOB...I hate this.

My bees will only be little for a very short time, and I am wasting all this time. I worry about whether the nosy no gooders are lurking here, I worry about if I have commented on blogs I like reading..I worry about crap that means NOTHING.

I look at my bees and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. At any moment God could take myself from this Earth or God forbid one of my bees. And I don't want their last moments of me, being the memory of me yelling at them for asking me if I can get them a drink or read a book. I do not know why I am so short lately. But I feel like crap for acting this way.

My oldest bee Butch will be 9 years old in a 2 weeks (St. Patty's day) and I cant believe how fast the time has gone..A whole decade has almost passed since he was spewed forth from my nether regions. Soon he will be graduating and getting married. I did not realize how quickly time passed. I thought they would be babies forever and ever.

I wonder if my parents regret not spending enough time with us as kids, or feel bad for being mad with us .. I doubt it, but I do wonder...I would never ask them, and maybe I don't want to know the answer..But I do know that I feel like I have wasted so much time not being a good enough mom for these bees.

Maybe I am not a good enough wife for the king bee. My house is not always as sparkling..It should be, no reason for it not to be...I am here all day doing nothing. Sure its ok looking on the surface, but when you really look, it is shameful really.

I do not deserve this family I have, and at any given moment I feel it could be taken away because I do not appreciate it enough.....

Look at these bees and tell me what the hell is wrong with me...

So what have we learned today folks?

Bossy is an awful mother and an even worse housekeeper..

Carry on now...

Have a good weekend

Bee Real

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Hey all, come check out the freak show

So off to the doc we went today. When the doc came in the room and witnessed the uncontrollable limb condition of the better half, she abruptly got up, opened the door and called for one of her cohorts to come in and witness the freakshow in progress. I need to start charging admission.

They are not sure what's going on. He had an MRI done, and we go back in the morning to go over the report on that, plus some more blood work. Right now they are trying to rule out any type of brain tumor.

I told him maybe they will realize he is really a super hero of some sort. I mean it could happen..

So he is off work for the rest of the week until they figure out what's goin on....This is totally going to cramp my style.

But if this continues I will enter him into the traveling circus as a freakshow attraction...We can be a husband and wife team..He will be the Mr shaky pants and I will be the bearded lady..Minus the beard I guess..

I will keep you posted. Sorry I have not been by to see many of you, but things are really hectic here..I will be around later tonight..Hopefully..

Bee Real