Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Parents just don't understand

I am at a boiling point. And I like to be hot, just not that hot. I like to burn a sweat, I like to stink afterwards, I like it so hot you cant breath. But I don't like the boiling point. Me and boiling points do not mix.

I honestly feel as though I am gonna blow. And the contents that spew on the walls will not be easy to clean.

My son is giving me a hard time . He has meltdowns over having to do simple things. I can not take it anymore. Today I honestly wanted to tell him to pack his shit up and leave. I figure why should I have to leave, I am the one making the house payment, not him.

I think every house with children or husbands in it , should come complete with a jail cell. One single cell. When the inmates at your house act up, you lock them in there and shove their food thru the small feeding door. You only give them TP upon request. I swear to God I would have this boy in lockdown if I could.

He is to write 100 senteces for me later. He told me I need to start being nice and that I need to be a mom, a good mom.

I told him "why start now?"

Somedays I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I wanted to have kids. I swear, I clearly needed to be under strict psychiatric care at the time. Nothing like being diagnosed 10 years too late.

I mean don't get my wrong, kids have their place. You need a very dependable person to wipe the drool from your mouth after you get old. A person to mow your lawn when your too lazy to get out and do it, or someone to put your air conditioner in when your 80...And take it out...These things we need to prepare for.


this just in Butch just informed me the reason he gets a few wrong on his spelling tests is because he has Wiggles songs in his head. And that I should not let Boo Bee listen to her CD's anymore because it is drastically effecting his ability to study and pass a spelling test..

I indeed will not be getting a mother of the year award again this year.

curse you damn wiggles

In other news......

ok there is no other news right now......

Lets all ban together and make cells for our homes. I swear if Dr. Phil steals this idea I will indeed kick him in the balls again.

Bee Real

37 comments:

Unknown said...

My cell is already in the basement. Used to be a coal room. Now I can start threatening them with it!

Anonymous said...

Don't even get me started on the blame being passed around - in this case the Wiggles. You should have had Butch with you at the dress shop and then you could have handed him over to dear Phil. They both have it coming! Kidding - or am I?!

eyes_only4him said...

Gette,
I see your one step ahead of me..

I tried writing you back on messganer, its giving me trouble..I am NOT ignoring you..just wanted to let you know..it gives me trouble a lot of the time.

Tammy,
Dr Phil dont have the smarts to handle such a complex situation:)

I have missed you. where you been? I need to email you or something..u nver call me anymore..I feel neglated..

ok I am off to workout..

Peggy said...

I get such a kick reading what the
little bees are up to or in to! One day you will be like me and laughing at your kids while their kids are driving them to drink!!!

Karin said...

Ok so just today we started talking about hunting for a detached house so I will make sure to add a cell to the requirements. I say if butch's additute doesn't improve you lock him in a room and blare wiggles music none stop at him. Yes I am evil.

Twisted Lady said...

I agree, we should have had our heads examined BEFORE we spewed forth children. I mean c'mon wtf were we THINKING?

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

I'm first in line for a cell for the hubby! Right now I'm considering the dog's cage but I feel that's too humane :)

Anonymous said...

ok
I think me and my boy butch might be kin
buttttttttttttttt
I have 1 lil split-tail that wants to throw down on account of her clothes. My bride purchases the main most best clothes ever (if the price is in evidence) but my lil'est girl has a fit to wear em. So I am tryiong to broker a deal. Ur lil outie for my lil innie..........
hehe
ole crack

eyes_only4him said...

Peggy,
dont laugh, when I die they are all living with you:)

Karin,
for not being a parent, you have damn good ideas...and its never too soon to start looking for cells:)

Blog whore,
I know, it should be a mandatory pyche evauation for people who want to breed.


Denise,
amen, amen, amen...thats all I can say:)


cracker jack,
someimtes I have a hard time de-coding your redneck talk..haha

i tried Iming you, but u never answered. be that way.

well I am off to shower the skank off my body..worked out 2 and half hours, and you dont even wanna know what I smell like people.

oh and cracker jack, what housewives blog were you speaking of....let me know so I can check it out..

MommaMonkey said...

Oh crap! They start to talk back and refuse to follow parents' directions when they get older? Nobody told me that when I had Boo. What's the time-limit on returns?

eyes_only4him said...

Blazer,
well dont teach them to talk and you will be fine honey:)

JD, rose,
well, one big cell would be good...dont wanna waste too much space:)

Anonymous said...

yeah yeah
I was there
i had nuttin
tis ok
I know you have like 2838347474747 fans to IM
I never ever expedct you to im me
a housewives confessions
thats where I commented on you and her
nn
jsull

Kendra Lynn said...

LOL...your kids crack me UP!
I bet Merry is going to turn out like Butch...she is going to be FULL of excuses for everything. Oh man.
I am so in for it.

Kendra

eyes_only4him said...

crakcker jack,
accatually I dont hardly Im anyone. I usassly have tons of messgaes, but never have time to responde to anyone, I feel bad..but I am busy like that:)and sometimes my dang yahoo acts like up on me and kicks me off or wont let me type.

now get ur jammies ON and go to bed cracker...

and oh God if only I had fans..

Kendra,
good luck with Merry, I tell ya, get yourslef a cell..hehe

Cliff said...

You are scaring me Bossy.


I think I drove close to your place the other day with one of the best groomers in 4 states. You should have called one of our cell phones. We could have dropped in and done the grooming (previous post) for the price of a home cooked meal.

eyes_only4him said...

Cliff,
I dont wanna scare you..

well I dont know what I was thinking, I woulda gladly put something in the ole crock pot for you and your bride...

my dog needs a cut, maybe you outta come back by...u like carrtos in your pot roast?..or would you rather have chili?

or I could order pizza..that might be better for all our sakes:)

Angela said...

Start drinking, maybe that'll help ya out on not gettin to that boilin point*giggles*. Or maybe you should be spikin his fruit loops with beer instead of milk *LOL*. Jokin people!!!! Not serious here.. This is why I don't have kids. When I feel the need to have lil' ankle biters around I go to the nearest Rent-A-kid center *wink*.

eyes_only4him said...

Kaliblue,
ankle biters?..how dare you!


hahaha....well maybe i will drop mine off at the nearest rent a kid center...maybe if i rent them out on a weekly basis, they can earn thier keep.

Cracker Jack,
no fans, just friends:)

someday when all my crap pulls thru I will have fans..when I am earnin me lots of beer money..hehe

please..for the sake of the housekeepr who may or maynot walk in on you..put your clothes on:)

Anonymous said...

she will be defrigginlighted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aatank said...

My kids now where the cell is. In our basement we have a food celler or they go to the creepy attic. Kailey knows she has to choose which one to live in by the time she is 12. Court hasn't reached that point yet.

So when you move to Florida just make sure you have a few of these places in your new home.

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Oh My Goodness ... the things you write about whilst I'm away. You are amazing !!! I love reading about your Bees antics (and yours) ...
Hope your week is improving.
Take care, Meow

Anonymous said...

oh, i knew those wiggles were evil!!

Anonymous said...

I think thats a brilliant Id. A cell for naughty people. or annoying people. I think my partner would be permanently locked up! hahaha!

Hope it all gets better!

eyes_only4him said...

cracker jack,
who would be?

Aatank,
I see your one step ahead of me too..letting them chose thier place, thats even better..

not florida, south carolina..or new york city now....either way it blows..but i will have a cell attached if I have to add on to a church..haha

Meow,
did you say whilst?...i cant stop giggling..

glad your back from your camping trip. hope u had a great time.

Beth,
well I thought they all were but the Blue one...but now his teeth are to white, I dont care for him anymore.

Hails,
a cell is a bloody brillaint idea, get one built BEFORE you have kids though:)

Anonymous said...

the housekeeper of course!!

mikster said...

Always remember...some day this kid may be choosing what nursing home to stuff you in.

*snickers*

eyes_only4him said...

j,
aww yes, the poor housekeepr:)

Mike,
I know...I am hoping the gilrs have more pull, they may put me somehwere wit a nice raquet ball court..he would put me where there are no windows:)

Unknown said...

Love the song

My daughter meltdowns so fast at silly things. Grrrrr I don't know why and she has always done it

Anonymous said...

shed surely run like she was afire!
haaaaaaaaaa

eyes_only4him said...

dakota,
isnt that a great song..reminds me of the good ole days circa 1989.heh

my son only has meltdowns when he is asked to do more the 5 minutes of homework or house work...lucky us huh?

cracker ,
well she might leave a mint on yur pilla:)

keesh said...

OH GIRL, can I relate now. My son is always telling me I am mean. He is so mouthy right now. i am really struggeling on what to do. anyone has any ideas, please let me know! he is backtalking so bad! I hope your son gets it soon. if they could just realize that good behavior will take them so much further than naughty behavior they would be all set!

Laura Elizabeth said...

Dad's solution (and he had five kids... three kids an yer whinging? piker! :) ) was forced manual labor and if you didn't do it you didn't get fed. Period. End of Conversation.

Not that there was much conversation... mostly orders.

Do I need to mention he was in the Navy?

Complaints against siblings resulted in the removal of the issue causing the complaint. If child one whinged about child two's music, music for all was removed. Didn't wanna watch sibling four's tv program. Fine. No television for anyone for a month. Cut down on how much bullshit he had to put up with. Mind, it didn't stop it... just cut it down. You would have loved car trips in our family - complete and total silence or you'd find yourself walking. For some reason Mom always made him go back for someone after a mile or two. I'd have thought she'd welcome the silence.

In any event, he would have implemented your Cell solution (only his would have been sound-proof and outside of the house) 40 years ago. Mom wouldn't let him. She never lets him have any fun.

Frankly... I think both he and you have the right approach. Children should be seen and not heard. And the less seen the better. Isn't that what grandparents are for? Or juvie?

Amazingly, none of us has turned out to be axe-murderers - though the jury is still out on son number three. That boy ain't right.

That we never tied Dad to a stake for the bugs to feast off of is still one of the mysteries of the universe. My siblings and I have concluded that Mom probably wouldn't have let us anyway.

She was mean like that.

Unknown said...

I have threatened to put my kids in a closet on more than one occasion when I could not stand the crying and whining for one more second.

Have not carried through with it...yet.

eyes_only4him said...

Kish,
I dont know why they start to back tlak, but you kinda wanna wire thier mouths shut...my sons backtalk is more of a " im too old to have to listen to my mother"..hahah little does he know.

Laura Elizabeth,
I think your dad was on to something...

TKW,
dont delay, stop threatening..do it:)

Anonymous said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
prolly not
shed be scarred for like im sure of it!
j

Anonymous said...

life****

Dottie said...

Dangit, all these years of parental frustration and it was just the cell that I had forgotten! LOL, you kill me!

Parenthood definately is not for the weak of heart or mind!