Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Wake me up before u go-go

Sometimes I do wonder where my sense and sensibility lye. I mean I am a semi-intellect, or so I label myself anyway. But my moron-ness lies here..Picture this if u will.

I am laying in my tanning bed, minding my own bees-wax. My time runs up, and I hop out of the bed..I grab my shorts, and socks, put my shoes on. Everything seems semi normal. I head toward the door not giving it a second thought. I open the door a tad, as I am about to walk out of my room, and that's how you get out of rooms..You open the door. As I have the door almost halfway ajar, I realize something. Something very awful.

I forgot to put my shirt on. AND MY BRA..I am attempting to streak God and everyone within eye shot of my door. Now normally I am not a nudist nor do I practice it at home..ask Mr shaky..But for some un-known reason I thought I would meander into the lobby with no shirt on.

Now luckily, I realized my error before I headed out of the room. And thankfully I was the only patron left in the building as it was closing. But I have to wonder. What the bloody hell was I thinking? I don't normally forget to put clothes on my person. Not ever.

I would even forget to dis robe during a gyno visit..They practically had to pry my pants off when I birthed out the bees. So I am not sure what's going on. Am I going senile? Is this how it starts? Do you forget to dress yourself? I don't know. But I am scared now....Very scared.

As I was leaving the tanning salon I look across to the park. The park is filled with homeless, and kids playing and frolicking in the grass. As I am looking over at the park I notice one homeless man. He is dirty, looks to be well fed, has a newspaper..And he has a pack of smokes he is opening. Now my question is this. At what point do you give up smoking? The fact you can not afford a car or home does not hinder your smoking abilities? How is this? I don't get it. I wanted to go ask him how he could afford his smokes with no obvious showering facitlies nor sleeping facitleis. How do you afford them? Where do you get them? Why don't you quit?...Maybe save your pennies for a meal or something...I don't know...

Call me crazy, but if I could not afford to have clean underwear daily. I may, just may decide that smoking should seese until I can afford laundry soap, a toothbrush and maybe a stick of deodarant.

*
my Boo Bee is quite a little lady. Today she lets out this fart that any eldery man would blame on his wife. I mean it was loud. She says with a shocked voice

"momma, what was dat noise?"

" I don't know, what was it?

" I fartin momma, its a poopy fart."

" nice.....That's gross you know."

" no, I just kiddin momma, da doggy did it."

Already blaming her farts on the dog. Where do they come up with this crap?

Well here is hoping that today I remember to put my shirt on before I leave the house.

good God I am turning into my great grandmother.

Bee Real


37 comments:

Choppzs said...

Yah, I am first. Just wanted to say that it sounds like one of those bad dreams where you go to school and forget to get dressed. I was waiting for you to say "then I woke up!" lol

Oh and are the dates off on the posts? Cause yours already says Sept. 12th?? lol Or am I just dumb? lol that very well could be the case.

Angie said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know which part was funnier....the shirt ordeal or your kid farting :)

You have a knack there girl that's for sure!

Princess said...

Maybe your lacking some adventure in your life! In the back of your mind you WANTED to do a streak! lol
Or it could be as simple as, you just forgot! Kinda reminds me of a song by TV Rock - Flaunt it.

As for the homeless guy, maybe smoking is his stress outlet. He has nothing left in this world to do but to smoke.
xoxo

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

chopzzs,
yes it was kind of like those dreams where you go to school naked..

no your not crazy, I alwyas post mine the night beofre..u have not noticed that after all this time?..haha

Angie,
Hmm...I dont find any of it funny..hehe...

I think I missed a call from you today..I did not check my machine, but my caller id had your name on it..haha

Princess,
well I am ceratin I dont have an inner streaker inside, but I could be wrong..

but what I want to know is how he affords his smokes:)

vani said...

LOL! its good no one saw you in all your tanness! about the homeless man, i would think that being homeless sucks so bad, the least i would be doing is smoking cigs..lol

kaliblue said...

You're having Brain Farts and kiddo's having just plain ole' farts aye?. *LMAO* Ain't life grand?. :-)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

vani,
it was damn close, my tannes was nearly saw by all:)

kaliblue,
haha..so true..

Blazer1234 said...

LOL, that is TOO damn funny! Maybe your inner self if telling you that you want to be a nudest. Or maybe just that you want to be on a topless beach. For whatever reason, I think it is hilarious.

With the cost of cigarettes these days, the guy could have afforded a stick of deoderant, a toothbrush, and maybe even a bar of soap. I guess he has his priorities.

Your little Bee is SO going to impress the boys when she gets older.

Meow said...

You must've been a nudist in a previous life, and it is trying to ressurect itself !!
I, too, am so amazed at the blokey noises that can come out of a little girl's rear-end ... my Chicky is for sure her father's daughter !!!
Have a great week.
Take care, Meow

Peggy said...

hey now at least I am not going down the forgetful road by myself. LOL Welcome to my world. And gotta love the little fart!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Blazer1234,
topless beach?..well as long as its a beach and its warm I guess I am game;)

Meow,
its amazing what can come out of the rear end of a tiny tot:)

peggy,
dont tell me you have left the house without your shirt on...

Yankee Belle said...

OMG how funny! Next thing you know you'll be taping lables to your clothes so you remember to put tops on top and bottoms on bottom! LOL I think it's called Oldtimers Disease.


As for the homeless guy, I want to know the same thing!

pack of 2 said...

LOL...Where do you tan??? Just kidding!:)

Damn girl...be careful or you will end up in jail.

SHelly

Brandy said...

LOL... Blame it on the tanning bed. I am always half asleep when I get out of it...

Tooting kids are the best. At least she didnt say pull my finger first...lol...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yankee belle,
Lordy thats too much work to have to label my clothes..i am thinking i should just never leave the house again;)

Shelly,
um its called The Backyard and its acrosss from Central Park, where the homeless man is..hehe

Brandy,
i fear she is just one step awya from that:)

Britmum said...

Oh my Bossy you are just so bloody funny. I wasn't expecting that... LOL I know it wasn't a dream but I once dreamed that I was at school and for some reason I left my bra in my desk and I was well freaked out.

My kids put their gas maskers on if someone pops on in our house. Tell boo bee to put her gas masker on.

Take care sweetie.

xxxxxx

Jerry said...

What the heck, go shirtless. Tell everyone your Swedish. Ja Ja!!!

Hails said...

Maybe u were that relaxed that you just didnt even think twice. I wouldnt say your going crazy coz if thats the case, I was long gone years and years ago!

beth said...

oh, I hate it when I forget to put my clothes on!! you crack me up!

dakotablueeyes said...

lol I do a double take on myself before I leave that room. haha So far haven't forgotten to put anything back on.

keesh said...

Well, at least you caught yourself before you got all the way out into the lobby : ).

I always wonder that with my Mom, she complains about how broke she is all the time, but her and her husband spend over $400 a month on smokes. makes no sense to me...the refuse to even smoke outside and cut down on how much they smoke...dumb asses if you ask me :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Britmum,
I think we have all had dremas of forgetting clothes while going to school, but leaveing your bra in the desk..thats bloody funny..

Jerry,
I dont like being cold;)

Hails,
well it dosnt relax me....makes me nervous, i always worry someone is gonna bust in my room by mistake;)

Beth,
somehow I think you have never fogot to out your clothes on:-)

Dakotablueeyes,
well this was a first for me..at least I think so..and I pray its the last;)

Kish,
I know, my mom can be broke and still scarpae up enough for her smokes..i dont get it..these people are damn dedicated;)

brian said...

Hi,

Sorry to intrude on this party, I read your comment on Kaliblue's blog to her 9/11 tribute. I wrote a tribute to Gilbert Granados, and have over 200 tributes linked if you should care to read more, you are welcome to stop by.

Laura Elizabeth said...

Gawd i love your blog!

streaking needs to make a big come back.

you start!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Brain,
thanks fo stopping by, if i have time i will indeed pop over to see..

Laura ELizabeth,
thank you..although I wont take the lead of this one...u go first;)

jsull said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
atta girl boo!!!!
and the homeless thing, I'm with you. Come on down south and I will be happy to show several hundred falling down single wide trailers with 2-3 families living in them with a brand new Caddy not a lil car, a Caddy or a brand new 4 dr truck sitting out front!

Ok the topless thing I hope that doesn't happen again
what the address to the tanning salon? Just in case, see to help you out I will be in the lobby and advise you if you ever happen to come out naked or semi naked.
ole j

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker jack,
i know I dont get it..welfare folks popping out kids and living better then us..i dont get it..

um, its called the backyard and ts acorss form central park..haha

beth said...

well, aright, maybe not, but hubby would love it if i did!

The Kept Woman said...

Becoming somewhat of an exhibitionist in your old age, eh?

Oh and as to the cigarettes vs. clean underwear...priorities, woman. You've gots to have you priorities and when you gotta have a smoke an hour you don't gots the money for new tighty-whiteys.

Lady Noelle said...

I don't think you're going senile. Maybe you're just stressed. Stress does funny things to people. Or maybe your inner wild girl was trying to surface.

I smoked for 4 years. But I'm the kinda person where all the bills get paid, then buy animal food, the human food, and then whatever else. If I had to give up my smokes to live somewhere, I would definately do it. But I don't smoke anymore. Congradulations to me. It was hard to cute. But the fact that smokes are over $10 here in Canada was the reason I quit.. well and I needed to for my future healths stake.

As for your little lady blaming her farts on the dog, that is just funny!

Cliff Morrow said...

Until just recently...Just hanging out around tanning parlors had never crossed my mind.

In her younger days my wife wore halter tops almost all the time. One day she had the kids loaded in the car and was 5 miles from home on her way to town to shop for groceries when she looked down and discovered she didn't have a top on over her bra. Yep, quick u-turn.

Schell said...

God help me if this ever happens to me. I would scare the hell out of everyone. I have a granddaughter that says funny things like your daughter. Too funny. I told her one time she was good medicine for me, she makes me feel better, she was only 3 at the time and probably didn't have a clue in hell what I was trying to say, so she just said, I could burp on you, well gawd, I died.

Raggedy said...

LMAO....Great post!
I can't believe you forgot your shirt!
Dog fart has me rolling..
Thanks.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Cool Raggedy one

Binocular J said...

Ok
I either need homeless garb, so I can hide in the park with binoculars(although the folks up there would prolly think I was homeless in my everyday clothes)or I can wait in the lobby and you will just have to read my facial expression to see if you are fully clothed, partialy clothed or buck assed naked!!!
hehe
just for the record,
if i was in a tanning bed for .09 seconds it would surely scald the hell outta me.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

beth,
yes mine too, sick dogs they are;)

TKW,
i would perfer a man in clean tidy whityes wouldnt you?..hehe..course if he is homelss, no chance in me living off him, thats a downer.

Lady Noell,
well it could be stress, or i could just be a dumb ass..and congrads on the stop smoking..thats a big deal.

Cliff,
oh my goodnes, your poor bride, I feel her pain..thats why I could never wear halter tops..I would just over flow out of them anyway.

Schell,
kids are funny...its like they are natraul born comedians, then when tey hit about 7...they aint so funny anymore;)

Rageddy,
thank you...this little girl has me laughing all the time..


Cracker jack,
well considering this park is right across form the courthouse/jail/sheriffs office..chances are you would be picled up for being a peeper;)

The Blog Whore said...

Back when I smoked, I'd rather smoke than eat....

No cigarettes and ya get fat... But at least you can breathe, that is unless you get too fat.

That's funny about the fart. My kid BLASTED one this morning that was deafening, then tried to blame it on me!

Michael Manning said...

Mr. Shaky! What a funny name!!! I have a solution for perpetually blean underwear in case you wind up in the ER. Just buy the black ones. It's like "Nobody can hear you scream when you're in outer space!" Same thing with the black underwear bit. Either you or the techs will be so focused on either cutting them off or pulling them off to examine for trauma that nobody will notice! As for the deodorant. The TAD people borrowed from an old 1960's commercial for Hi Karate. Basic set up: A Geek splashes some on and women attack him in the office (Why can't this happen tome?) I bought two cans! So far Nada! lol! :)