Tuesday, September 19, 2006

A Mandatory staff meeting

So I had come to a boiling point. It is never a good idea when this happens. Not for the staff here at my hive, nor for me.

Saturday after we got back from our trip to the damn zoo, I get some work done around here and then I have to pee really bad. I head to the restroom, pull my drawers down, then I notice sprinkles of what appear to be someone else's body fluids on my seat. I call my son in, tell him to clean it, then he would be writing 100 sentences.

" I will not pee on the toilet seat"

100 times. He whined and cried and said this to me in a fit of rage

"can we please make a peace treaty? Can we just agree to get along?"

I told him to consider the sentences he was writing as our peace treaty and that him writing that was our agreement that he would never piss on the toilet seat again.

After he was done, which took him about 3 hours......I had him bring me his notebook so I could make sure there was 100 .On the second page the lad drifted off from our original sentence agreement this is what he wrote.

"I will not be bossed around by my mom"

Oh hell no you just didn't write that.

I wont go into any detail about what happen after that...

So I have laid down some house rules. Along with bathroom rules. If they are broken they will be moving out.

*
While I was at work Sunday night a man who we are boarding grabbed TP off my medcart when I was passing meds. I told him, and I quote

" you ever grab shit off this cart again and that will be the last thing you grab for..Got it."

he then asked me if I was always a bitch. I told him yes. He then said he remembers me working at the prison he use to live at. I told him have he has a shoddy memory .

He then told me he had been in prison for 16 years and he never forgets a face. I then told him that 16 years in prison was very impressive. He then told me to go f-myself and that I was a total bitch.

So I did.

*

as I was watching the season premiere of Oprah Monday, I was very pissed off. How arrogant is this woman that she thinks we want to watch video of her and her lady lover on a road trip? Over half of working Americans can not afford to take family vacations, and here she is bitching and complaining about the price of gas and how she doesn't even remember how to pump gas. Who the hell cares? Why does she think we care? Why does she think we want to see her and her lady lover fighting over the radio, fighting about directions or fighting about driving . That is the sign of a woman who is has got the ego of a superhuman asswipe. I use to love Oprah. I dated her in a dream once, and we had good times. But I will be dammed if we want to watch her on a road trip. Who the Sam bloody hell cares?

And how can a billionaire complain about the price of gas..She should talk to Mr Shaky who drives an hour and 15 minutes ONE WAY to work everyday..Cost us over 100 bucks a week in gas.....

I just must be in a pissy mood. I hate Oprah now.

*
Later today I take Blondie Bee for her dental extraction. She gets two more baby teeth pulled.Poor lassie has no room for adult teeth. I say that's fine, that's less teeth I have to worry about her brushing....But whatever.

then I work 3 12 hour shifts in a row starting Wed. I am wondering why I thought getting a job was a good idea. I now see I am way to delicate for such features. Being told to f-myself is not only the making of a great day, but gives you that warm fuzzy feeling. Like when grandma use to make you oatmeal.

Good times.

Bee Real

54 comments:

beth said...

I saw part of that oprah show. well, read the subtitles while working out at the gym. i'm with you, who wants to watch a bigillionaire complain about gas prices and how she hasn't pumped gas since '83. i'm glad i'm not the only one that was disturbed by it.
so, what are the house/bathroom rules? the rest of us could use them, too!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...
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Bossy♥'s YOU said...
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Bossy♥'s YOU said...
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Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Beth,
I am glad I am not the only one as well who has trouble with Oprah..

ok here are the bathroom rules as follows

1.LIFT SEAT BEFORE PEEING..(FOR THE BOYS OTHE HOUSE)

2.ALWAYS FLUSH, IF U DONT, THATS JUST PLAIN GROSS

3.IF U USE THE LAST OF THE TP, REPLACE IT, DONT LEAVE IT ON THE COUNTER,PUT IT WHERE IT GOES.

4.RINSE SINK AFTER TEETH BRUSHING

5.ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS, THATS GROSS IF U DONT KIDS.

6.PUT ALL DIRTY CLOTHES/TOWLES DOWN LAUNDRY SHOOT.

7.WASH HANDS...REMINDING AGAIN

8.FLUSH CRAPPER..SECOND REMINDER..

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

not sure how i posted that three times....

damn i need a nap..

anyway, tjose are the rules as i have them tapped in front of the toilet:)

Lisa said...

So, butch bee is still alive after writing that he will not beeee bossed by his mother? If you wanna' get together and strangle our boy-childs, let me know...;-)

I saw some of that Oprah too. Damn, I hate pumping my own gas too, but as I'm not a go-zillionaire, I still have to do it. And no, I did not get a vacation this year myself. So, she can S.T.F.U. about her road trip as far as I am concerned too!
I think I must need a nap myself...that's so not gonna' happen. Oh well..at least I laughed while reading your post.

butch acts like JS seed said...

to reply to your comment on the fri post ask and i'll tell anything you wanna know.
i think Butch B might be mine
he made me snigger
ok gotta be honest here
the go f urself....... and i did
ok mr shaky isn't gonna like the visual I had
hate u vouldn't open the mail it woulda tickled you
on the road this week
\js

vani said...

now i hate oprah too! poor thing, has had people drive her around for most of her life and she doesn't remember how to pump gas? please....

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker jack,
well maybe butch bee could be yours, i dont remeber much of 1996:)

be safe on the road...

Vani,
hell yes..I say we boycott ole facny pants who cant pump her own damn gas.

j said...

always safe
I'd definately remember
ole j

Peggy said...

bossy bee is living up to her name today!! send the kids my way for a few months and I'll house train them for you. LOL

Blazer1234 said...

Ok, first, I'm with you on the pee pot rules. My dh misses all the freakin' time, and it about pisses me off (not literally though. If it did, I wouldn't miss like he does). How hard can it be? I'm using your rules and posting them in both bathrooms.

As far as the job, I have total sympathy. You see, I use to teach those criminals of yours before they were full-blown adults. I was called an effen-bee about 10 to 20 times a day. I'd say, "Why, yes I am." I was also called many other things. But I did my damnest to try to educate those little shi...blessings and keep them out of jail.

Hope the tooth fairy doesn't go bankrupt with all of your little Bee's teeth being extracted. I guess that's why she is working three 12 hour shifts in a row, huh?

Oh yeah, and the Operah thing...that has been my state of mind for quite awhile now. I hate it when famous people are like, "My dear friend and designer, Oscar de la Renta..." Why don't you shove it in our faces a little more that we made you rich enough to afford Oscar's clothing, but we are still buying our clothes from Target and Old Navy.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cracker jack,
well I was about 50 pounds lighter blonder hair...ring a bell yet?

hehe

Peggy,
by all means, come train them PLEASE:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Blazer,
we must of been posting at the saem time..hehe

by all means take my rules and apply them to your house. I have them only posyed in one bathroom, as they are not allowed in MY bathroom, and they rarley use the one downstairs..but I may have to post it all over if it keeps up..

well some minda are unteachable. I think u are born a criminal to tell you the truth..kinda like being born gay...little sons a bitches some of them are..

yup, Target, Old Navy, and JC Penny are our stock supply of clothes:)

Working Mom said...

Sheesh woman, I have alot of posts to catch up on!

So is Butch still breathing or do we need to call the cops?

I used to love to watch Oprah. I haven't been able to watch her for 3 years now (I changed my hours at work). I had to put my vacation on the credit card or we'd never go anywhere so I definately don't want to hear about her whining about the cost of gas or that she doesn't even remember how to pump it. That shows she has way too damn much money. I like Ellen. I'll stick to watching her when I can.

j on yaho said...

Well if I remember and you don't then that doesn't speak well of me. That doesn't even speak kinda ok for me. That actually speaks way shitty of me!
Then my answer is hell no I don't remember!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you were 50 pounds lighter you would be skinnier than Kate Moss and that is very very very unappealing. I don't want to think of you that way. You are much prettier than that.
ole j

Badoozie said...

oprah is a tramp.

nuff said


this has to be one of your funniest posts ever. sorry, here you are in the worst mood ever and i'm laughing til i pee. at least something good came out of it?

i love butch bee, he is my new all time hero.
as for that guy at the prison, well, he is also a tramp

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Denise,
yes I am all about ellen..in fact my dog is named after her..Oprah has lost her touch..

Cracker Jack,
Oh gosh, no Kate Moss honey..ok maybe 30 pounds lighter..

hmm..i will have to email you aboutthe baseball...i really wanna know..


Suzie,

Butch would be happy to know he is a hero to someone..

glad you peed yourself, at least you did not have to lift the seat.

js said...

have no fear
I am available on yahoo, msn and mail
I'll always answer
any question
I'm game with nada to hide
so ask and ye shall..............

Don't get scrawney, I assert no man, not any worth having, wants a rib countin girl
ole played b-ball j

Brandy said...

My son and I had this discussion when he was younger. Now him and my hubby both put the seat back down for us girls in the house. Also my son has a new respect for the bathroom and making sure it all goes where it needs to ... He was on bathroom detail for 2 months... Does a pretty good job cleaning it I might add...LOL

Hope your week gets better for ya. I am looking to go back into the work force and now I am getting alittle worried about it.....

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cracker Jack,
you crack my shit up..

well i am not logged into yahoo right now, maybe after the Daily show is over and I brush my teeth I will log on...course youll prolly be in bed by then;)

Brandy,
maybe i need to put him on bathroom detail as well...

well unless your gonna work at a prison, i would say your job will be a more pleasent experince then mine..hehe

kaliblue said...

Hmm wondering if the writing sentences would work on my hubb-z?. He doesn't pee on the seat, but dribbles on the friggin floor and the toilet rim ...Geeze!!! *giggles*. I bet the dude who called you a bitch has a crush on you. I do, I bet it. Cause that's how they act when their to scared to tell ya out right *LOL*.

my name really aint Jack J said...

nah sugar
ur the one who tickles me!!!!!
anyway
I'll be around fer awhile
try me if u want
if u dont wanna then thats ok too
like I said I'm on the road
I have no time limit
and I'll always answer any questions
always
but please brush ur chewers before u contact me
even if ur scrawney I can deal as long as u have some fresh breath!!!!
hehe
anytime
ole crack

Raggedy said...

Huge Hugs....
so glad I don't watch tele....
I hope blondie bee is feeling better soon...Dental stuff hurts...
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Cool Raggedy one

Hails said...

I love oprah to but why the hell is she complaining about the price of gas. Jezz, she really needs to get a grip. Its nothing to her. I wont be seeing that episode til lets say the middle of 3210 because australia is that far bloody behind. grrr

Has ur son learnt not to pee on the seat since?

Maisha said...

lmao!
when i saw the post saying you were in the bathroom with your pants down i thought "shit!someone forgot to replace the tp roll again!"

dakotablueeyes said...

Right who wants to watch a billionaire bitch about the price of gas. Hubs drives an hour to work every day and an hour home and I shudder to think what we spend on gas but let me put it this way we maxed out the gas card in six months and started on another gas card and by the time we get the tax refund check to pay those two fluckers off we will have the second card maxed

keesh said...

Doesn't your son lift the seat up when he goes? I gotta say, I am pretty lucky, my 4 year old has great aim! and last night, he overshot and got a piece of TP and wiped it up...I would do the same thing as you though..they gotta learn to take the time they need to not dribble!

Oprah can only complain about gas pricecs if she plans to do something about it...here in MI it is slowly going down...but holy hell oprah, pump your own gas once in a while you sound like a looser....

Mike said...

So, how's that PEE treaty working out so far?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Kaliblue,
well it wont hurt to try...but i would make the hubby do 1000:)

Cracker JAck,
well I ended up falling asleep..and came down with a monster of a headache, so i didnt even log on..maybe tonight..


Raggedy,
well i need to stop watching it, makes me mad when i do:)

Hails,
geez, I need to send you more recnet stuff..that sucks..

Maisha,
nope, so far that has not been an issue..it ebtter stay theat way too..

DBE,
I know what you mean, we spent about 100 a week or so on gas for just for hubbys car, not even including mine...

Kish,
he has a habit of NOT lifting the seat if he has to go real bad..but I think he is learning to take the time, he hates wrting senctes.

Mike,
so far the pee treaty is panning out smoothly;)

Choppzs said...

You crack me up!

I hope Butch Bee's hand isn't broken as I am sure if he is as dramatic as my girl, he would be whining and complaining about that. Damn kids anyways! lol

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

OK, I THINK THIS MAY BE THE END. I HAVE HAD THE MOST GOD AWFUL HEADACHE SINCE LAST NIGHT.PRETTY SURE I HAVE AN ANNRYSUM.

I DONT HAVE TIME TO MAKE OUT A WILL, SO YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT OVER EVERYTHING..

ITS BEEN NICE KNOWING ALL OF YOU..LOVE TO ALL..

<3
BOSSY

Celebrity Rant said...

Oprah gets on my last nerve!

I just cannot picture you being such a hard ass to those jail birds.

aka The Blog Whore, I was just too lazy to sign in again.

Celebrity Rant said...

WTF? Did you die?

No will?

I havta think of what I want.

Be right back.

Lady Noelle said...

Making your son write a sentence 100 times sounds like a good idea. *takes notes of all the awesome ideas bossy has*.

I tried watching Oprah the other day (cause it's on after Dr. Phil which I love which is on after The Tyra Banks Show) and I just found my self grimacing a lot. She is so rich and so into herself she just reeks of ... ego. And I agree watching other people have fun sucks.

Are you a nurse?

I so don't miss working, I just miss the money I was bringing home.

cathouse teri said...

Well I kinda like fucking myself! I know exactly what works! ;)

Yeah, I was just a unimpressed when I heard what a hard time Anjelina is having with a new baby at home, waking her up at all hours of the night! And Brad is having trouble with all the mess that is about! Horrors! I don't believe for one minute that two millionaires are struggling with having a third child.

~Deb said...

Wait! LADY LOVER? Hmmm.... So the rumors are true, huh? And I never knew you dated her in one of your dreams. Hey, *wink wink*, I have better curves than her...come to New YawK BossY!

And how dare that prison guy say that you're a bitch! You need "your lady lover" to kick his arse for you? I'll be right there!

*flexing*







GAWD I'm so pitiful.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

blog whore,
you get first dibs, better get here..its not looking good..

lady noell,
I am full of ideas, I cant say any of them work..

i went to nursing/med school for a while..


Cathouse teri,
amen to that lady..amen..


Deb,
i am a hard ass with them, pisses me off our tax dollars pays for thier meds and food and whathaveu..

please, come and kick some asre for me..you can be my knight in shining armor:)

Mrs. Diamond said...

i agree...bodily fluids on the toilet seat is just disgusting. i think you let him off easy.

1 plus twins said...

how funny, i make my boys write sentences too when nothing else seems to work. for some reason that gets them. i can't believe your son wrote that. i know it isn't funny but it is. i used to love oprah too but i can't stand her any more. she just thinks she is always right and she thinks she is the best. it is just too much. have those same rules for our bathroom and i get so damn sick of reminding them and stressing them.

Peanutt said...

HAHAHA that your son wrote that! Kids, they try to be soooo hilarious sometimes!
Don't usually watch Oprah, but I agree with you, how can a fuckin' billionaire bitch about gas prices??? Yeah, don't think that she drives herself around everyday! I think she just assumes this will make her more beloved in the eyes of all the poor folk that watch her on a daily basis.
Pat on your back for standing up for being a bitch! I believe in it to its true form! Amen Sister!

just_tammy said...

Sorry to hear your head is ready to explode. Never a good feeling. It could be a staying at home headache which will go away as soon as you get to work where you know you feel the love! Well, at least where it is legal to lock up anyone who bugs you.

Speaking of locked up - do you have proof Butch is still alive after that little stunt?! Justifiable but don't want to have to testify on your behalf.

Almost reached through the tv to slap Oprah upside the head. Silly me for thinking I might be able to stomach watching this season. She sooo doesn't live in the real world but loves to pretend she does and can relate. Like to see her try my life. Heck, I was going to leave this comment hours ago and just got back to it. I've had some great ones for all your tales but they're still in my head and not on your comment section.

Feel better!

The Kept Woman said...

I know it wasn't funny to you, but your son slipping that in was hilarious!

May you never sit in urine in your own house again.

P.S. You are my idol for being a bitch and noto getting flustered with your "clients."

Nerdine said...

Oh MAN! Sometimes I just wish you worked here with me...
Like today. In comes this Asian guide. First thing I see - is not that he's Asian, but that he has the most enormous yellow, infested zit on his upper lip. I'm talking HUGE! THEN - as if that's not enough, I smell him... Oh dear patience.. I have to turn my head take a deep breath, and I cant breathe again until he's gone. And while holding my breath I must smile, and prentend like nothing is wrong. All the time while that gigantic thing on his upper lip lights up the whole place like a beacon.
I just BET you'd be able to deal with those LOOSERS! I'm WAY too polite...

Marel Lecone said...

These kids are driving me crazy too. I think what you made him do was great.

Right now, Faith is using the words "You're fired!"

What the !@#!?#!#?&!&

Where do these children get off?

Take care, Girl. :)

pack of 2 said...

I respect your hatred for Oprah but i LOVE her!
I laughed the whole show....sorry:)

I can't even imagine working at the jail...those peeps would drive me crazy!

Maybe the little man could go to work with you once to see where he will be living if he doesn't quit pissing on the seat!

Shelly

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh gosh, i am still alive..

i just got back from taking blondie to the dentist to have her teeth pulled..

now i need some gin..

js said...

me too
zzzzzzzzzzz
hope ur thinker gets to feelin more better
js

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

thank you cracker jack:)

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm sensing some deeep anger in this post. I'm sensing that your son most likely had the PEE scared out of him after you saw what he wrote. I have to admit, I laughed at his "can we just get along?" line.
That kid is smooooth. You better watch out for his teen years. Trouble with a capital T!!

I have not watched the Oprah show in years. I have a feeling she can afford the high gas prices.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

jamie,
well he was not expecting me to read it..when i told him to bring it here he froze like a statue. I think he was saying a prayer:)

Jerry said...

"I will not be bossed around by my Mom". That just brought back a flashback to my youth and testing Mom's authority.

Good to see the result is the same: Didn't work (big time). This is why big corporations have org charts; just in case there's any doubt who the boss is.

Funny stuff, Bossy.

Brony said...

Man I missed that Oprah.

I think any house with boys need bathroom rules.