Friday, September 29, 2006

photograph

Two nights ago Mr Shaky wanted me to give him a hair cut. Now this man has always prided himself on having his hair. Both his brothers have lost their hair already. Not only did I get the good looking brother, but also the one who still had hair at age 35.

As I was leaning over the top of his head, I noticed something. Something awful. I told him he had a huge bald spot on the top of his head. He did not believe me. So I should him the proof. Somehow it seemed to be all my fault. Somehow his life was just mediocre.

















Poor fella, I told him as long as he can keep all his teeth I will remain to be married to him. After that I will sign a yearly contract.


The other night my son came up to our room. Asked us if he could entertain us. My son comes up here with 2 pair of his undergarments. clean I hope. And he begins to juggle them. My son. My 9 and a half year old son was juggling his underpants in my room.

My MIL is here. Oh the crap I want to say. The stuff that is flowing in my mind. I will just leave you with one story. She tells me she is going to make meatloaf. Which first off is MY best dish. Second of all, she bought red meat. We don't eat red meat. She said she was putting it in the oven at 4 that way it would be done when Mr shaky got home at 6pm...Now I don't know what planet she is on but on the one I live on it takes bout 40 minutes. I told her it would burn.She told me according to her recipe this is how long it would take. Again I said it will burn.

Which I did not much care cause I was not eating..I was not eating dinner because I had a muffin at lunch time. That means I don't eat dinner, and still walk 6 miles up hill in the snow.

Then she informed me she was making samon patties. I say huh? You just made meat loaf. Well her baby boy might want a damn choice for dinner...Good Gawd, heaven forbid her baby only get offered ONE course meal..Heavens to Betsy.

So I left in a huff for a 6 mile walk in the 45 degree air. Came back, and my house smelled of fish and burned meatlaof.I did a mini vomit in my mouth I do believe.

Some people have drinking troubles, or drug troubles..Or maybe even addictions the computers...Then there is my MIL who will pull up to a casino in the Wisconsin Dells at 3m , just to see how it pays out. So they roll in here about 5 hours later then were scheduled for. Slept till 3pm....

I am so ready for my house to come back to me. I had to do all the dishes of all the pots and pans she used. I prefer it that way. But damn...She used lots of pans. Alot.of.my.pans.

she told me a many things I was gonna blog about. But I will save it for a time . If ever.

We are going to the pumpkin patch on Saturday. More family fun. I am hoping to lose one or all in the corn maze.

I am also looking for a pumpkin with such girth that it could crush a human skull. No NO don't worry, this is for my skull.

MIL hubby who is a crazy goon, but damn he is one mart man, I will give him that..He told my son there is one setnces that is the same front wards as it is backwards. Wanna know what it is? Course you do

Rats live on no eviL staR
...

it is the same front wards as backwards. Get it?

Now my son will fail his vocab quiz, but now he knows this piece of useless shit.

I must go now. I must go kick my self in the ass for agreeing this is ok.





look....Only 22 dasy till I can wear this...

















well have a good weekend, I will be looking for pumpkins and anyway excuse to leave. I may indeed have to go on a 3 hour tour to find tampons, as I do have an extra guest staying in my uterus. For 3 days. Again, I have a 10 minutes TOPS deal...But I never can seem to get past that. They always stay longer...Bastards...

Have a safe weekend. Keep your clothes on. Have a sober driver and please, please for the love of man kind don't freebase on the courthouse lawn.

bee real

30 comments:

j said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
haaaaaaaa
It is a well known fact that some men have other things for their hormones to do than grow hair, thats always been my contention anyway!
Hope to see pics the pre concert in the lil shirt party!
try to stay sane with mil there
all of the advice is good cept the clothes part
ole j

aatank said...

Poor mister Shaky...You had to burst his bubble. At least his mom will feel sorry for him.

I would love to have someone living at my house so I could just leave when ever I wanted to. I wanted to do that last night at the dinner table when My kids were driving me insane.

Have a fun day at the farm!

Hails said...

two choices for dinner!!??? WTF!!! Okay his mother is crazy as. Mine, he gets one meal, you dont want it, tough starve I dont care. HAHAHA about burnt meatloaf. sorry it was in your house but goes to show she aint as smart as she may think!

Hope she hasnt driven u up the wall and you remain a little sane!

beth said...

are you taking notes, so when your son is off and married, you can go to his house, burn meatloaf in his wife's stove, cook salmon, just in case, dirty all the dishes....
we're off to go apple picking tomorrow, hope the weather is good! have fun!

Brandy said...

Dont let her get to you too bad!! It'll be ok!!! Have fun losing them at the pumpkin patch. We have football games and band contest and another football game this weekend!

Men are funny about losing their hair, huh??? Hubby is getting lite up top and wont face it...heheheeh!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker jack,
well I am thinking it will be to chilly for that shirt...I may beed to wear long johns underneath if I do:)

aatank,
well thats what a hubby is for, when he is there, you can leave...I leave every night after night after dinner to go to the lake for my run...trust me, u dont want your mother in law there to do it..

Hails,
yes, if u dont like what I fox...u starve, the kids follow the same damn rule..hehe

Beth,
my sons wife will have ti easy, the only food he eats is peanut butter sandwhiches:)

Brandy,
too late, she has alrewady got ot me bad....if they dont get lost at the pumpkin patch, i will:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE SHOOT ME.

My tv is on ESPN..I HATE having the tv on, especailly in the morning. I hate having people think they can control it...so I unplugged it.

I cant take it...help me, anyone..

I cant stand so much fuc*ing toghter time...

mr hsaky is SO gonna pay for this...little asshole is at work leaving me alone to deal with this..

I hate people..especailly in my house.

ok, i am gonna go shower now..

Meow said...

Oh Bossy, just take a deep breath, count to 10, and smile ... she'll wonder what you've been up to !!!'
HOpe you survive the weekend.
Take care, Meow

just_tammy said...

CRAP!!! Your hubby deserves to have his balding head shaved for leaving you with those two in your home (which must smell like - can't even come up with a word or phrase for the stench)!

Why don't you jump in the car and drive this way for the weekend? We can get apples and pumpkins!

js said...

acccccck
well good luck for the weekend. Type up some rules and mail them to all of your family members that way they won't do things that get on your nerves, like stop by, come over etc. I tried to get my bride to allow a mote around our shack so I could keep them out, I settled for a gate that is key coded or controlled from the house.
The shirt aint gonna look that sporty with LJ's under it. I was thinking cold night air, sans undergarments,3-4 drinks, a poloroid moment!!!!
DOnt kill anyone this weekend
cracker

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Meow,
I am trying, deep breathing doesnt work anymore:)

have a good weeeknd.

Tammy,
if I could read a map I would SO be there.

Cracker,
thats funny because I had asked for a moat around our shack too...but all I got was a chain link fence the dog can open.

well I am thinking now I will wear my short little skirt with orange and brown flowers with my nice dark brown button down shirt, of course leaving most of it unbuttoned..haha

~Deb said...

You know that karma is going to give you alopecia for posting your husband’s bald spot on your blog, right? (haha)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Deb,
haha..I already have it ..my hair has been falling out for years..I am one step ahead of him, although I dont have a bald spot..haha

Karma is a bitch though, and I can always buy a wig, or get a weave..am I right?

dakotablueeyes said...

lol my brother has a spot on the top of his head too. My brother in law hid his spot, shaved his freakin head

Choppzs said...

LOL, you crack me up. I feel for you! My MIL is not nearly that bad, except for the whole babying the hubs thing. That drives me nuts too! PUke!

Mrs. Diamond said...

lol.......... i'm glad i'm not the only one with mother in law issues. were you glad she burnt the meatloaf? just a lil bit glad?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

dakota,
Its funny, for years I told him it was "thinning" then BAM, its liek that..kinda gorss..I am hsaving is head this weekend..hope his mom enjoys seeing that:)

Choppzs,
well the thing with my MIL, is she really is not bad..its ME who has issues, She could be ANYONE, and the fact they are in my house for longer then say...15 minutes, really pisses me off. I am bad that way.

Mrs d,
just a little,....

but to her it was not burned, it was done just right, but it looked awfully damn crunchy to me...

Blazer1234 said...

OMG, a choice of main course meals??? Your MIL is smokin' crack. Who the hell wants to cook that much? She should have been considerate and taken you all out to dinner, so you could each have your own choice! DUH!

Have fun at the pumpkin patch. Hope you don't find any gords that are perverted looking, but for some reason I think you are going to search one out.

Karin said...

Ok the choice of main courses is over the top. My MIL came and stayed with us when we first bought the house and made the Hubs his favorite meatballs. She burned the crap out of the bottom of my new pan and it has never been the same sense. Now I have a rule no one cooks in my kitchen but me. You want to cook something rent a kitchen mine is closed.

I am sorry but I am not planning to keep my clothes on this weekend, so deal with it.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Blazer,
I know..I juat hate to see what she has lined up for the rest of the stay...I was not even gonna llok for gords, but now...now i am.

Karin,
sadly my clothes will not only remain on, but my i will talk in whiseper so nothing is overheard:)

Laura Elizabeth said...

Choices for a main course? That's not so strange.

Delivery or drive-thru.

The Blog Whore said...

God, you are entertaining. I'd tell you that but I wouldn't want you to get a swelled head, then you'd have to get a bigger pumpkin...

I want your recipe for meatloaf with no red meat. Thank you :)

Kelly said...

I should count my blessings then, my new MIL has only been to our house once in the last year. I am not defending your MIL by any means, but if someone came to my house and wanted to cook a multi course meal for my family I say "have at it"! Doesn't mean I have to be around to eat with 'em! ha ha

Hang in there. Can't wait for next weeks posts when the coast is clear. :D

Jewl said...

I just had my Inlaws for a week... I am still recovering.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Laura,
I will take delivery please:)

Blog Whore,
You just substitute red meat for ground turkey....all we buy is ground turkey..make spaegtti, hamburgers, anything u make with ground beef I make with turkey..

its very good:)

Kelly,
well mine has been here about 5 times in 2 years time, I say thats plenty.

And I would much rather be in control of what goes on in my kitchen..I hate other people touching my things..I am weird that way;)

Jewl,
I do feel your pain!!!!!

Wethyb said...

I love that shirt! MUST. HAVE. SHIRT! That's awesome!

Bummer about going bald. Hey, ya never know, he may be a sexy bald guy. Lots of them look good w/ their head shaved :)

Sorry bout the MIL--you can just shoot her and throw her in that lake as you're walking :) Kidding...well, sorta :)

Happy weekend!

Badoozie said...

your MIL sounds like she freebased in your kitchen while you were walking. did you pull a random u/a on her? might want to do one on both of them..sounds a little....spooky?

Jamie Dawn said...

This post reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where this guy Elaine is dating (who has shaved his head bald on purpose for several years) decides to grow out his hair. He finds that his hair is not growing in very well and he exclaims in horror, "I'm going BALD!!" It was a funny scene.

Just let your MIL do all the cooking while she's there. Give yourself a break. Eat it and tell her it is delicious. Tell her she can do the laundry too since you don't know how to fold the clothes right.

Krystal said...

You're life keeps me in stitches!

j said...

that pic works for me............