Friday, September 22, 2006

Everybody wants to rule the world

it should be marked somewhere in granite that I can not work with inmates for more then one day in a row. Otherwise I come home and want to run my house like a jail, which in theory is not a bad idea.

I hate getting up at the crack of dawn to go and serve inmates their cocktails of narcotics that we pay for, and 2 meals they don't appreciate. I get that here, without leaving. Well minus the narcotics.

At the jailhouse yesterday I caused an uproar with the ladies. I did a cell search and found a pair of tweezers. Which of course is considered a weapon. Now they are allowed tweezers, they just have to return them and the officer who hands them out should always make sure they are returned.

Anyhoo, I found the tweezers, and took their TV away for 48 hours. I think I may have a hit out on me now, not sure but the word on the cell block is I do.

My partner found some other items as well, but for some reason I am the one on the shit list..Course I am the one who took the TV away, afterall it was my call, and I called it.

Then I come home and find out I have forgotten to send Blondie Bees permission slip for her trip to the the apple Orchard Friday, my son has been purposely missing the bus so he can walk home from school and Boo Bee tinkles on my bathroom floor cuz she just cant hold it.

Oh and my house, don't let get me going on that. At least the jail is clean. Hell the inmates even clean their own cells. Yet I cant get anyone to clean at the hive. I obviously have no pull here.

Well again I Friday I will be up at 5am to be to work at 6am. I will get verbally abused by 6:30 am because I refuse to give the ladies breakfast in bed, I actually make them get up and get it themselves, good God.

Then I will be sexually harassed by the guys in MAX. They will ask me to come "trim them with the clippers"

Then the little dude in Medium will beg me to let him make a free call to his mommy because he has not spoken to her since Sunday. I will deny his request and he will cry.


Anyone wanna trade places?

This weekend I plan on doing nothing. If I shower it will be considered a job well done.

Bee Real


beth said...

you took away their tv for 48 hours!! are you crazy! survivor is on tonight, no wonder you have a hit out on you!! i can't believe they even get tv. they probably get to watch more than i do!! well, you do a great service to society, even though it's gotta be tough. so thank you.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well I dont watch that so I had no idea it was on..hehe

I may rethink that..acctually they would hate it worse if i took thier phone away, so they should be thanking me i say:)

and thank you.

The Kept Woman said...

Dude, at least your inmates don't throw their food, sippy cups and utensils on the floor for you to squat down and clean up like an animal.

My one year-old sucks.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh contrare my lady..they do thro it,...but tey also have to clean it..hehe

i could tell you stuff you wouldnt even beivie;)

crack said...

well damn
if they wanted TV they should have thought of that prior to robbing the c-store!!!!!
Butch prolly wants to walk home with the chicks that live tween ur house and the bus stop
don't blame him, he's mine, best he knows chicks rule!!!!!
Boo need to quit p'n on the floor though
and the inmates at ur house need to clean up behind theirself!!!
I hope your weekend is damn good
why don't u lay around on the couch in your white socks and drawers and even scratch yourself and fart when neccessory"?!?!?!?!
I think that would cure what ails you!
ole j

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cracker Jack,
you alawys get me headin in the right direction..hehe

but i dont fart..EVER! it?

gasless j said...

yeah yeah yeah whatthefuckever
ur smart
and sexy
and mean to the kids and inmates but i dunno if i buy into all the no gas deal!!!!!
well maybe itsa poot or toot or whatever deal
i kid my children about doing a "blow out" maybe thats what happens up there in the cold country!!!!!
hope ur pea feels more better

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker, are u calling me a liar?


always believing you said...

well see here i'm thinkin u hada pea ache the other night!
I think you were maybe full of hot air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok i tickled myself
and no dear I'd never call you a liar
ur married to a preacher man
how could u be a liar?
ole honest j

Brandy said...

Man you had a rough day!! If you traded places with me, you would get stuck cooking, doing laundry, making cookies and listening to them bitch cause you only make them once a year, and taking kids here and there!! Hope tomorrow goes better for ya!! Have a great weekend!!

Peggy said...

you know you love that job! Its the one place you can go and be the boss and they have to listen and do what you say!! LOL have a good weekend, think you earned it.

Blazer1234 said...

Ok, waking up early sucks. Waking up early just so you can be verbally abused by criminals sucks even more. I guess that's why I quit my last job. Makes you wonder some days if you're the crazy one for doing your job, and keep going back to it.
Hope you survive tomorrow. I don't want to wear green quite yet. Then enjoy your super-duper weekend!!!!

Badoozie said...

i think your job sounds fascifreakinating

so there.

get over it

and then some

and over and over

and i'm a commentard

B.A. said...

I told you I got my degree in CJA. But right before I got it I went on a ride-along (very cool) with this tough Marine woman.
THEN I went to Las Colinas County jail (all women) in Santee CA. I walked out of there and said, "Hell No!"
Those people were freaks!!
I watched a woman rocking outside who refused to wash the shampoo from her hair, another in higher security threw herself against the door to show us her breast and spit, but the worst was peeking in at the woman who had scalded her niece to death. She looked happy. I was not.
You're a good mom. I don't think people really know what you deal with daily. That is tough.
Some of them deserve a second chance...many are just hopeless.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading!

1 plus twins said...

man i don't know how you do it. no thanks i don't want to switch places. good for you taking away the tv. they shouldn't even get tv as far as i am concerned.

JD's Rose said...

You could go one step further and have a bath... good luck!


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

make sure you check out the time stamp here..

love you guys, i dont have time to answer back to each..just know bossy loves you..hehe

well off to get vearbally abused:)

dakotablueeyes said...

See I don't understand why inmates even have a tv. To me they are in there for punishment why should they get the perks. My way of thinking comes from a guy in this town who purposely got his ass arrested just so he would get thrown in jail for the night and be able to watch tv, yes some sporting event was on cable at the jail and he didn't have cable access so he got hisself arrested so he could watch it.

~Deb said...

There's nothing better than tweezing busy brows and downing a bunch of narcotics before breakfast to get you going! Hell with the TV---give me some of that good medicine you're handing out for free. What are the meals like? And are the cellmate gals cute?

I should just rob a bank and find out. (That would be federal, wouldn't it?) Hmmmmm... I have such goals.

I'll trade places witchya' if the $$'s right! ;)

~Deb said...

*bushy brows*

Sorry. Typo. What the hell is a busy brow?

Krystal said...

If you can't get the bees to clean the hive, don't feed them. When our place is a mess I give each child a list of things to do, when they each finish their chores, THEN they get to eat. It works wonders!!!

And while they're cleaning, you can take a nice long hot bath with LOTS of bubbles!

Kelly said...

I could not do your job! I will admit, I am a chicken. I would be looking over my shoulder 24/7! Cluck, cluck...that's me! Was married to an inmate once...remember?? Ya see how that ended!!!LOL.

Ya need to take Butch on your six mile hikes in the evenings. Then maybe he won't be yearning for his afternoon walk home from school anymore.

I know what you mean on the whole house cleaning bit. Maybe we need to go on strike. If the house got dirty enough, they'd have to start helping out...right?

Michele_3 said...

Girlfriend, I have no idea how you do it!I would of lost it by now dealing with all those criminals..
I'm too emotional for a job like that anyway-
Tell Mr. Shaky pants to take you out on your next night off, Tell him you deserve it!
Catch ya later!

P.S- Your post title has me singing the tears for fears song- Thanks! LOL!

Dottie said...

What a job! I used to work as a dispatcher and I sat in a little round room surrounded by inmates behind glass walls so that the jailers could share my space and see the inmates. I had to deliver their dinner a few times and HATED it! I was always getting harassed and propositioned. UGH! Don't feel bad, my kids wont' clean either.

Mrs. Diamond said...

i'd have a hit out on me if i took the tv away for 48 hours too. LOL

You wanna come whip my kids into shape?

Bumbling Bav said...

Taking the tv away... I need to do that here. Maybe then I will get a little cooperation!

Andrew said...

It's the same at my "hive" - it's hard to get the worker bees to pull their own weight :o) I don't blame you for wanting to do nothing after a week like that! I can't imagine what it must be like to work at a place where your payback might be a hit placed on you. That's intense.

I saw your comment over at Cathouse Teri's site so I wandered over here. I'm glad I did. Enjoy your weekend.

Andrew (To Love, Honor and Dismay)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well they dont get that good of tv..i think they get 5 channles maybe..not worth a night in jail to me..hehe

dont rob a bank, rob a convince store, do it in my county, and i can strip search you..haha..make sure u do it sunday bewteen 1300-1700. that is my next shift:)

and no, none of the gals are worth your me..

mine would never eat then:)

well one good thing is, I dont let what they say bother me..I have never let that stuff get ot me..but u do have to have the right frame of mind I will admit that.if they wanna come put a hit on me, well it was my time to go..haha

althouhg being sexually harassed isnt so bad when your bloated and have sleep in your eye.

its a tough job, but I am just the bad ass to whip them into shape..hehe..or die trying I guess.

oh well you know first hand how them inmates are...good for nothing..hehe

nice to see you by the way..

Mrs d,
same here, only we dont misbave so no need to worry huh?..haha

Bumbling Bav,
it works everytime!

first up, thanks for stopping by..

I will admit this has been a for shit week..I need a drink and a street drug of some sort..hehe

well I am glad my hive isnt the only one run this way..haha

Lisa said...

Maybe narcotics at home would not be such a bad idea after all? For you, for the other bees...the possibilities are endless..

No tweezers? OMG how will they fix their brows? The girls have to look good, don't you know? LMAO

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I would never leave my house if I had the narcotcs they get..

oh and to top the day off..we had an inmate who tested Postive for freaking TB...YIPPIE

Jerry said...

Good for you for taking the TV away. Too bad it's only for 48 hours, because I'm sure they're not watching anything educational.

Granny said...

Enjoy your weekend and get some rest.

Claire said...

Your job? Is crazy! Have a relaxed weekend....


Badoozie said...

i don't even know if you sassed me, but just in case you did i'll tell you now, don't sass me....

go here and read this guy, he is literally killing me

Jamie Dawn said...

Good GAAaaaawd! You are living the crazy life these days. You are so tough! I bet you could bitch slap those inmates, even the men.
If they harrass you again, tell them to bend over to receive their medication rectally.
On second thought, don't do that... they might enjoy it.

Have a nice weekend, and cut those cutie bees some slack. They have a tough mother to contend with.
Make them some brownies.

EmmaSometimes said...

I don't know which is better, my daily grind or yours..there are days I wish I could just GO TO WORK. :o) Thanks for the smiles.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

taking the TV away was just my first step in world domination..

well at the cuonty jail anyway;)

and same to you!

crazy does not even begin to describe it:)

thank you, you have a relaxing one too my friend.

I sassed you:)

well they dont make enough latex for me to give it rectally..or money..haha

I bet yours is..hahaha..

since i have not worked for 6 years, it is all crazy for me..i am thinking i need to retire.