Monday, June 04, 2007

gonna make you sweat

I have a question. For some reason my questions as of late are bit gross or inappropriate.

But as I am heading home today from my walk, I smell something rank. At first I think it must be a dead rotting corpse. I mean there are lots of dead rodents rampid along the paths I tread. But no, I realize its me.


And its not the usual suspect. Sure my under arms smell very wretched. As a matter of fact I sweat so much with my jaunts I have permanent smell stains in my all my workout shirts.


But what I am talking is what I refer to as...crotch sweat.


I know, its hard to believe that a nice wholesome gal like myself would admit to getting crotch sweat, but I do.


If I ride my bike a few miles, I get crotch sweat


If I walk or run 4-6 miles, I get crotch sweat


If I mow the lawn, I get crotch sweat


and the list goes on..


WHY?


its not like my mention-ables are getting a workout...They are just mainly along for the ride.


I don't know. I don't claim to know everything. But I can tell you this, crotch sweat smells way worse then pit sweat.


I'm just sayin.

~
So we broke up with our church. It was a long time coming, I have told you about our pastor and what a major asshat he is.


Well Mr Shaky finally broke it off.

So Sunday we went church shopping. Trying out different churches until we can agree on one, before Sunday School starts up again.


Well today we went to a church that is just a hop skip and a jump from our house.

They had a band. I am not sure if I like that.


Anyway, we happen to go on a Sunday they were giving Communion, and holy shit, it was real wine, not grape juice my Friends. First time ever I have been giving wine for that...I may go back next week.



But Mr Shaky was so pleased with me, he told me I can go get a piercing.

Hell Yeah bitches.


~
My son has wanted to grow his hair out for some time now. I told him once school is out, I will let him grow it for the summer so he can see what a jackass he is looks like with long hair.



he is starting to resemble this




































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Its been about two months since I cut his hair, and its already looking pretty damn long..



At one time I liked long hair on dudes, as a matter of fact from the ages of 11 till...ok now..I wanted this guy to father all my children






































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That there my friends is the bass player for my Lepps...

I LOVED him in the 80's.

His long wavy curly hair blowing in the wind, frolicking about in the music videos. Aww, my heart is going pitter patter just thinking about it.



Now adays though when I see a dude with hair like that, I automatically think he has no job.



WHY?...Or I think he lives in a van down by the river.



I do not want my son living in a van down by the river.


~

Here are some pics of the girls...































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Hopefully one day they don't take off with the dude who lives in a van down by the river.


So much to worry about.


Will my son grow his hair out and start doing reefers?


Or join a rock band?


Will my girls not pose for nudity pics with their boyfriends....and end on youtube.

All this may make me want to start doing drugs.


If it stops crotch sweat, I don't mind so much though.


~

Have a Flippy Day

28 comments:

J to the I to the double L said...

yeee haw #1...everyone sweats..everywhere! dont feel so bad!

Tom said...

Bossy, I think people sweat most in areas that are in contact with other skin. Shins don't sweat as much as armpits or groinage areas, as the only thing between a shin and the open air is some fabric and the groinage areas have no exposure to cool, dry, comfortable air.
As far as church goes, I grew up Anglican (Episcopal) being in Massachusetts and a British Grandmother. I go to a different church now with a different style. As long as you agree with the theology, the style really doesn't matter, but I'd make sure the Sacraments are right.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Jill,
but there is something about crotch sweat...

Tom,
so you have theroies on sweat, I like that.

I am not too fussy with chutch, but the hubby however needs to attned a certain church in order to go to this seminary he is going to, or else he may need to join a differnt school..so many things..

all because our old pastor IS an asshat.

Ba Doozie said...

crotch sweat has it's ups and downs. I'd prefer not to have it myself. It is not as bad as butt crack odor sweat. Why are your pictures aways so far apart?

why don't you like the band at church?

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Ba doozie,
all full of questions arent cha?

I have never smelled butt crack sweat, and I am thanking my lucky stars.

picutres are so far apart because blogger if a shitter, and if i dont space them two miles a part, they end up all jumbled toghter and the words dont coinside with the anything...trust me, i wouldnt do it if it wernt nesscary.

band..ok...

I would rather sing hyms in church then have the pastor rip out a guitar and start jammin..if i wanted a rock concert, it sure would be a christian rock show..

not that there is anaything wrong with that, but when i go to church i like the piano and the congragation singing very badly to "he walks with"...ya get what i am sayin

Gette said...

Bible. Doctrine, worship style, wine vs. juice, if the basis of everything is the Bible, it's all fair game. If it isn't, all bets are off, game over.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Gette,
I am not sure I like my kids sipping wine..although it was the first time The Boy never complained about taking commiunion.
;)

just_tammy said...

So now Butch is a long haired hippy enjoying his wine - interesting! Hey, he could join the band at church. Just a thought.

I am so troubled that we were both pondering the crotch sweat issue. It frightens me on so many level how often we are on the same wave length especially considering the topics - Wal-Mart, sweat were it shouldn't be, McD's...However, I am sticking with one hole in each ear lobe. No one make me punch another hole anywhere. Half the time I never even remember to wear earrings so why even think about any more holes.

Now I'm rambling so time to say have a great Monday with your darling children! Do not harm them in any way on the first official day of summer vacation!

Fantastagirl said...

Juice? You don't know what you've been missing...why do you think Catholics have such good attendance? It's real wine...although since Mr. Shaky pants is married he can not be a priest so that church is out.

uhm...shower and change your clothes? I've got nothing for the sweat problem sorry!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Tam,
shit, I never thought of him joining the church band..shit..

I am glad I am not the only one worrying about pressing issues like crotch sweat..it sucks big time.

Fantstagirl,
shoot, is that what the Catholics use?..I shoulda known..

no worries, I am fully cleaned and have on my P.J's..

1 plus twins said...

omg i can't stop laughing i am gonna have to back again and read it. when your son grows his hair out you will have to post a picture. my oldest (which i think is your sons age) wants me to shave his head bald!!! completely bald!! lol i think i am gonna do it this coming weekend for him!! let you know how it turns out!

Ba Doozie said...

now that is weird, I would never have you pegged for a hynm woman. I'm blown away, really I am

JD's Rose said...

Ewww... yep, sorry girl, but that is all I've got on the crotch sweat issue.

Church shopping... I love it!

Jerry said...

Crotch sweat? Dear lord. There's another reason to be thankful that I have no sense of smell.

Hails said...

LMAO, hun u make me laugh!

Anonymous said...

Laughing hysterically right now....crotch sweat sucks. My son is also ten and last year he grew his hair out, he ended up looking like those twins on that disney show. We finally couldn't take it anymore and shaved it a few months ago. Yesterday I showed him a pic of himself,with the golden locks, and he was adament that he would NEVER grow it out again.

patti_cake said...

LMAO at the crotch sweat.

I loved the communion wine at St Mary's! I don't like a church with a BAND. No way.

All the little boys are growing their hair out a la' the 70's!

Cutie patooties!

Neurotic1 said...

I agree crotch sweat sucks! Let Butch grow his hair. Then Boo and Blondie will be able to have fun this summer dressing him up like a girl ;)

Mr. Conservative and I used to go to a contemporary service with a band. I didn't like it either. Just seemed kinda cheesy and so NOT rock music kinda stuff!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

one plus twins,
when it gets long enough I am SO posting pics of it..dont u worry.

Ba Dozzie,
see u learn something new everyday.

JD,
trust me, I dont expect anyone to have anymore to say about crotch sweat then that;)

Jerry,
well, I am assuming u dont go sniffing in that rea much anyway, unless your hound dog;)

Hails,
glad to be of sericve to ya:)

Annymous,
its funny u say that about the twins from tht show, we were wtching it the other day and I told him "those are the ugliest girls I have ever seen"...he said they are boys, I said then thier mother needs to get them hair cut cuse they look stupid.

but he still wants to grow it..kids are stupid.

Ptti cake,
and i wanna know, what the hell do these kids know about the 70's anyway..dont they know the era of free love is over?..hehe

Neurotic,

well his hair is almost getting to the point i could easly put a barrett in it..I may just do that today to prove a point to him..


and bands to kinda make a church service kinda cheesy.

Katie said...

My sister dates a guy who has the long 80's hair. She says he has a job, but I don't believe her.

The Kept Woman said...

Fucking fuck...I've left two comments now and both times my compter has lost connection.

Fuck.

Choppzs said...

Yep, us Catholics get the real thing over here too. That is one reason why i go to church 3 times on Sunday! lol Just kidding, I am usually lucky if I can get my lazy ass to go once! lol

Crotch sweat....I hear ya girl!!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Katie,
i doubt he does..hehe

TKW,
fuck fuck it all.

Choppzs,
man, i am missing out from not being a catholic...

ok, no I am not..haha

Yarn Tails said...

Crotch sweat is some funky odor.... I say get some FDS and you will still be smelling like roses! LOL

I tricked my son the week before graduation.... hee hee I took him to get his hair trimmed and the lady and I had an agreement and she cut it short. The son looks awful with long hair and I cant stand. I told him when he is 18 do whatever you want!

Kendra Lynn said...

Church shopping, huh? If you want a really good church..one that you will RARELY be bored at...you ought to look for a Pentecostal Church. Yep...my brand of religion...but I'm tellin' ya...boredom is very rare in a United Pentecostal Church.
Try it...I dare ya.

Kendra

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Kendra,
well we are not shopping for a relgion, just a church of the relgion we attend..

Plus we have to attend certain churches for hubbys schooling, he has to preach for a certain relgion, he can not change horses in mid-stream..ya no what i am saying..

we like the church we go to, just not the pastor..so it has made us leave that church, now we are looking for a pastor i can acctually stomach.

Kendra Lynn said...

Stomaching the pastor seems like something that MAY be necessary.
Hope you find the right one.

Kendra

Jamie Dawn said...

Real wine in church. Woooo Hoooo!!
Bring your own large glass on communion Sundays instead of those tiny, plastic thimble cups.

Put on new undies after exercising or any other activities that produce crotch sweat. We ladies must try and keep our area somewhat moist-free to reduce yeast infections. We are indeed cursed.
One more tip:
Wear a panty liner for part of the day. Halfway through the day, remove the panty liner and it is like putting on fresh undies. I do this a few days before and a few days after my period because I hate moist undies.