Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Trading Spouses

I will keep this short and sweet.


I have a list.

* Some days I feel like trading Shaky in for a revamped model only I don't remember what the waiting period is before you can break wind in front of a new person..and I am not willing to risk it.

* I am getting rid of my cats...They seem to have more bathrooms in my house then I do. And I have three bathroom, one on each level..Yet they have two on each level.

*I have a staff meeting at work on Tuesday. This may or may not be the end of my working relationship with this company

I have quit other jobs that paid me TONS more money, had AWESOME perks and a potential to be something pretty f-ing cool...BUT...I could not live with myself any longer knowing some of the shit I did...

and this place...Not as much money..by a long shot..But I love my job..

so this makes me sick. This meeting could get ugly.Not looking forward to this.

* My kids are bored with summer already. I am thinking about sending them to camp for the summer.

In North Korea

* Its hot...and every night the weather guy tells me to watch my back as a f-ing twister could drop out of the sky and any given moment.

* I think I am smarter then just about every person I come in contact with.

* I want a piano

* Boo told me the other day that she is a woman.

* Blondie is worried she is going to have boobs as big as mine.

* And last but not least......

I have another raging yeast infection.

My crotch is on fire. I know when it happened too. One night last week after my four mile run, I was too tired and lazy to shower right away.

You know how I tell you about my crotch sweat? Well my doc says that is causing my flare ups.

Shes like..Um...dont be so God*dang lazy and shower after u work out..

Do you like your crotch being on fire? Do u Do u?

and start eating some yogurt for Christ sake..damnit woman, your fat and stupid.

Well not in those EXACT words, I am just paraphrasing of course.

Its the damn crotch sweat. I need to build a fan of some sort I can put in the underwear.

I gotta go. And I am sorry I have not been able to visit you guys as much as I would like. Let me tell you, if this meeting goes the way I think it might..I will be free and clear people. Free and clear, cause I wont put up with shit, and I am ready and willing to walk out the door and not look back.

I wont run out the door as I don't want a crotch sweat flare up.

Time for bed...Time for a beer..whatever.

Flippy loves you guys..don't forget it.

25 comments:

1 plus twins said...

oh my i hope the meeting goes ok. can't wait to hear about it. sorry to hear about your crotch. lol just be like me, lazy and not work out. problem solved and you don't have to eat gross yogart. lol my kids are bored too and hate i am not home. the fighting is driving me crazy already.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

1 plus twins,
I love yogurt..and I have not been eating for the past few weeks, and its kicking me in the crotch..hehe

I say we both send our kids to camp and u an I hit the spa's and some shopping..r u in?

1 plus twins said...

i am so in!!! i so need it right now! hey at least one of us is eating good and getting in shape!! lol

Flip Flop Goddess said...

hey
whp said i was eating good?..unless u r...hahaha

JoeinVegas said...

There was a story a few weeks ago about parents sending their boy off to a Budhist temple thing in Thailand. He came back really changed, dropped the gang activities and is now a friendly little boy.
Plus no phones in Budhist temples.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Joe,
U may be on to something there..

Angie said...

well I guess the marathon is out...

kids to North Korea, I think their are still open camps in Afghainstan and Iraq, but NK works too!

Neurotic1 said...

Sorry about your cottage cheese crotch AGAIN! Start taking pro-biotics. You can get it at any health store and you will have no more yeasty yeasts! Hope the meeting goes better than planned!

Katie said...

Good luck with the meeting.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

ANGIE,
well I had thought about those other places, but I dont think the kids would do well in the dessert;)

Neurotic,
damn..I am gonna have to find that stuff...I cant deal with this anymore..

Katie,
thanks...I will post about it tonight when I get home, which is not until 9..UNLESS, I walk out..

patti_cake said...

Well.. I wish you the best on the job front. Whichever you want it to go!

Girl please shower! You are making me itch and twitch!

just_tammy said...

You realize your crotch was just feeling sorry for your tattooed back. Sympathy pains.

If you need someone to pack for your kids to go to camp, I'm your gal. I just got home from taking Kait to hers. I DO NOT camp but can pack for one like nobody's business after all these years. Roughing it is a hotel without room service. Plus with skin as white as mine...that's my story and I'm sticking with it!

Hope the meeting turns out okay. If not, can I tag along to the spa?

Kendra Lynn said...

Hope the infection eases up some soon...and that you can find your kids a good summer day camp.
My inlaws have one in NJ...maybe you could move there for the summer.

Kendra

just_tammy said...

Oh, forgot to ask why you are thinking about trading in Mr. Shaky. Is he still unhappy about the new nose ring and tattoo or is it going to the Prince concert? He had to have known you were a wild child when he hooked up with you. Was he ever a wild child? You two are great together and you know it. Tell him to grow his hair out and join the church band!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Patti Cake,
well I am hoping the meeting is civil, if not...its going to be ugly, there are a lot of us, and we are not backing down.

I just showered, do u feel better?

Tam,
maybe we need to pack stuff for ourselves..we can go camping at The Hilton or something..

I wanna trade him in cause sometimes he is just plain annoying..U know what I mean.

No, he does not like the tattoo or piecering, but he knows there is noting that can be done, and he does not have to sit thru prince, so he is thanking God for that one;)

Choppzs said...

Wow Girl, you are one cottage cheese loving chic! lol Ewww, makes me never want to eat cottage cheese again! lol I agree, eat you some yummy yogurt, and get that shit gone!

Add my kids to the bunch of ya'll that are sending them to Korea! I'm in on the shopping and spas!

Humincat said...

Let's trade. I could go for a change around here. You just can't spoil him with any good cooking, cause mine sucks and when you send him back, remind him that the cute blonde living here is his wife, not his personal asst./babysitter/maid/whore...well maybe that.

lola said...

I don't even know what to say-i look forward to reading your 'silliness' and your 'realness'
Keep it up sista!
Your new friend Lola
from Canada! eh!

Ba Doozie said...

crotch rot is just the pits. it is the pits of hell. there is definetely an imbalance in your system, I just don't believe sweat alone can cause all these problems. Mr shakey? is he pure?

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

Good luck with "The Meeting". Maybe they want to just promote you so you have less hours but more pay. That's sounds good to me.

Eat your yogurt and maybe if you stop wearing panties all together the flares up will go away. Just run nude...everything is more fun in the nude, right?

Fantastagirl said...

hope the meeting goes well - and damn it woman SHOWER!


and like I tell my 6 year old - USE SOAP...

Working Mom said...

I hope your meeting turns out the way you want it to!

And I also hope your flare up ends soon :)

Wethyb said...

Hubby would have rid your house of cats years ago if you'd let him. He hates them for some reason. Poor kitties.

Ick, yeast infection. I don't think I've ever had one. Could be because I eat mounds of yogurt each week. A plus for me :)

jsull said...

im pullin for ur lil stuff to feel more better.
you know me always there for ya!
js

Anonymous said...

rofl, ingrown heirs are my problem