shit stick take two

well things are going the same. I walk into the crazy house thinking about what these asshats are doing to the poor people who live here. I hate pulling into that driveway.

I tell Mr Shaky I would rather push an elephant out my hoo-haw then go back..But for now, its the right thing to do. Until they fire me anyway.

~

So I am trying to find a home remedy to rid my crotch itch...or in lamemens terms..yeast infection.

These are some of the remedies I have came across

*take honey and rub it into the infected area, as it will kill the bacteria

* soak a tampon in plain yogurt and insert into your va-ja-ja for one to two hours or over night, the live cultures in the yogurt will kill the bad yeast.

* take tea bags, wet them, then freeze them and put them on the infected area until they melt.

* take a warm bath with adding a half cup of white vinegar and soak for 20 minutes.

* put cucumber slices over your eyes..

oh wait, that is for the bags under my eyes..scratch that one

well now I am hungry.

I am going to give the honey idea a whirl first, I am already hot, I might as well add sticky and sweet.

~
My friend Amy and I are going to get tattoos on our toes. A flower head, like a daisy. We are going in the next week or so...But don't u dare tell Mr Shaky. He has no idea and I am not going to tell him...

He does not appriciate things of that sort. And he never looks at my feet, so it will be there for years and he will never notice.

~

Man my crotch is on fire....its itching...I cant take it anymore. Curse the crotch sweat.

My doc told me some sort of work out gear to buy that prevents it from happening.

Pretty sad when you have to order work out clothes from the special store cuz your womanhood gets too sweaty.

Its a damn shame.

I would give anything to have a penis right now.

Floppers always welcome.

Trading Spouses

I will keep this short and sweet.


I have a list.

* Some days I feel like trading Shaky in for a revamped model only I don't remember what the waiting period is before you can break wind in front of a new person..and I am not willing to risk it.

* I am getting rid of my cats...They seem to have more bathrooms in my house then I do. And I have three bathroom, one on each level..Yet they have two on each level.

*I have a staff meeting at work on Tuesday. This may or may not be the end of my working relationship with this company

I have quit other jobs that paid me TONS more money, had AWESOME perks and a potential to be something pretty f-ing cool...BUT...I could not live with myself any longer knowing some of the shit I did...

and this place...Not as much money..by a long shot..But I love my job..

so this makes me sick. This meeting could get ugly.Not looking forward to this.

* My kids are bored with summer already. I am thinking about sending them to camp for the summer.

In North Korea

* Its hot...and every night the weather guy tells me to watch my back as a f-ing twister could drop out of the sky and any given moment.

* I think I am smarter then just about every person I come in contact with.

* I want a piano

* Boo told me the other day that she is a woman.

* Blondie is worried she is going to have boobs as big as mine.

* And last but not least......

I have another raging yeast infection.

My crotch is on fire. I know when it happened too. One night last week after my four mile run, I was too tired and lazy to shower right away.

You know how I tell you about my crotch sweat? Well my doc says that is causing my flare ups.

Shes like..Um...dont be so God*dang lazy and shower after u work out..

Do you like your crotch being on fire? Do u Do u?

and start eating some yogurt for Christ sake..damnit woman, your fat and stupid.

Well not in those EXACT words, I am just paraphrasing of course.

Its the damn crotch sweat. I need to build a fan of some sort I can put in the underwear.

I gotta go. And I am sorry I have not been able to visit you guys as much as I would like. Let me tell you, if this meeting goes the way I think it might..I will be free and clear people. Free and clear, cause I wont put up with shit, and I am ready and willing to walk out the door and not look back.

I wont run out the door as I don't want a crotch sweat flare up.

Time for bed...Time for a beer..whatever.

Flippy loves you guys..don't forget it.

gonna make you sweat

I have a question. For some reason my questions as of late are bit gross or inappropriate.

But as I am heading home today from my walk, I smell something rank. At first I think it must be a dead rotting corpse. I mean there are lots of dead rodents rampid along the paths I tread. But no, I realize its me.


And its not the usual suspect. Sure my under arms smell very wretched. As a matter of fact I sweat so much with my jaunts I have permanent smell stains in my all my workout shirts.


But what I am talking is what I refer to as...crotch sweat.


I know, its hard to believe that a nice wholesome gal like myself would admit to getting crotch sweat, but I do.


If I ride my bike a few miles, I get crotch sweat


If I walk or run 4-6 miles, I get crotch sweat


If I mow the lawn, I get crotch sweat


and the list goes on..


WHY?


its not like my mention-ables are getting a workout...They are just mainly along for the ride.


I don't know. I don't claim to know everything. But I can tell you this, crotch sweat smells way worse then pit sweat.


I'm just sayin.

~
So we broke up with our church. It was a long time coming, I have told you about our pastor and what a major asshat he is.


Well Mr Shaky finally broke it off.

So Sunday we went church shopping. Trying out different churches until we can agree on one, before Sunday School starts up again.


Well today we went to a church that is just a hop skip and a jump from our house.

They had a band. I am not sure if I like that.


Anyway, we happen to go on a Sunday they were giving Communion, and holy shit, it was real wine, not grape juice my Friends. First time ever I have been giving wine for that...I may go back next week.



But Mr Shaky was so pleased with me, he told me I can go get a piercing.

Hell Yeah bitches.


~
My son has wanted to grow his hair out for some time now. I told him once school is out, I will let him grow it for the summer so he can see what a jackass he is looks like with long hair.



he is starting to resemble this




































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Its been about two months since I cut his hair, and its already looking pretty damn long..



At one time I liked long hair on dudes, as a matter of fact from the ages of 11 till...ok now..I wanted this guy to father all my children






































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That there my friends is the bass player for my Lepps...

I LOVED him in the 80's.

His long wavy curly hair blowing in the wind, frolicking about in the music videos. Aww, my heart is going pitter patter just thinking about it.



Now adays though when I see a dude with hair like that, I automatically think he has no job.



WHY?...Or I think he lives in a van down by the river.



I do not want my son living in a van down by the river.


~

Here are some pics of the girls...































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Hopefully one day they don't take off with the dude who lives in a van down by the river.

So much to worry about.


Will my son grow his hair out and start doing reefers?


Or join a rock band?


Will my girls not pose for nudity pics with their boyfriends....and end on youtube.

All this may make me want to start doing drugs.


If it stops crotch sweat, I don't mind so much though.


~

Have a Flippy Day