Friday, June 01, 2007

gett off

Ok as of 10 am CST I am going to be the proud owner of two brand spanking semi close to the front row seats to my rock God...

Me and my friend Jody are going to fight over who he is going to leave with him. I totally know it will be me..stupid bitch.

For 140 bucks, I better get steak and lobster brought to my seat.

~

Today at the pharmacy I saw an elderly lady with dried poo poo on her shirt. Now don't ask me how I know it was poo poo I just know. Some things you just know..When you wipe asses of three kids, you know what dried crap looks like.

Then after my walk my mother decides she wants a sub from subway. I did not bring my purse as I don't like leaving it in the car whilst walking round the lake..so I don't bring it..She brought her wallet so she could get a sub after ward.

I pull up to the Subway Drive thru and order her shit. I pull up to the window and give them her debit card...After a good 20 minutes, he comes back and says the card machine isn't working..

I say " what do u mean it isn't working"

he says " I cant get a dial tone"

I say " um fix it, or find someone who can"

he says " do u have another form of payment, I can not fix it"

um, no asshole, I don't have another form of payment, as THIS was our method of payment, now get your ass back in there and re-do it..take a screw driver, call you daddy, do something, but fix the fuc*ing machine cuz my mom wants her damn sub.

Ok, I had no cash, she had no cash...

she got no sub.

~
My bleeding is about done...My bloating is ceasing...My boobies are not so tender and my thongs are no longer in danger of being tarnished by bodily fluids.

I no longer want to kill small children and rabbits.

I no longer want to suck the salt off of crackers just to end up throwing the crackers in the trash because, well I don't like crackers...

I no longer want to cram double stuffed oreos in my pie hole.

And I no longer crave fries from McDonald's..damn good thing, as I have no Golden Arches right now anyways...

~
Today is the last day of school.

As a kid the last day of school was sort of like Christmas morning. You cant sleep the night before, your giddy, full of anticipation....Nothing can bring you down.

Unless your report card says your taking the 4th grade over again..

So come fall I will be the proud owner of a 5th grader, a second grader and a pre school er.

Not bad for being 25...huh..huh..huh...

OK, I have nothing else..

Take care of yourself..and each other.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am SO jealous...I have never even heard of a Sub-way with a drive thru! School ends here next Friday.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Well we have a dirve thru, but let me tell u..sometimes u drive up to the window and no one comes to take your damn order...Its not all its cracked up to be, let me tell u.

just_tammy said...

I miss having a Subway drive thru! Sounds like it didn't do you guys any good though.

Happy to hear you are almost the proud owner of what you want and that you are almost feeling like your old self.

Make the most of this day. It may be great for the kids, but you know all heck is going to break loose tomorrow. Heck with your three it could start this afternoon - don't hit me!!!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Tam,
well I work from 10am till 6pm, nothing is going to effect me until at least Monday..cause the weekends are almost as bad as summer vaction.

Drive thru subway aint all its cracked up...pissers.

patti_cake said...

Oh boy that would have pissed me off if I couldn't use my debit card. YOUR problem. Not MINE. Argh.

Have a wonderful time with his purple hotness!

Neurotic1 said...

Now I'm hungry for Subway~ Yum-o! It doesn't seem possible that school could already be gettin' out! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Has Butch seen the seven nakid nymphs with his telescope yet?

"T" said...

I went to McD's this morning JUST to get those cinnamon things and do you know what they told me??? "We don't have 'em today." Very casual like it didn't matter. Well, it mattered to me. I was mad.

And hungry.

Speaking of fast food. Once I ordered a bunch of stuff from Arbys, their credit card machine went down and they just gave me the food. For Free! I asked if they wanted me to phone in my card later and they said nope, just take the food and go! Suh-weet. Free food from Arbys and no freaking cinnamon things from McD's.

See there. I left a comment. :)

Woot!

Just A Girl said...

I can not stand it when you go somewhere, place an order, they make the food, then turn around and ask for payment. THen tell you oh, the card machine's broke. Did you not know it was broken before I ordered all that food? Is your freaking sharpie broken? Make a freaking sign asshole, post it on the door, save us all some time!

Ok, rant off.

Glad you're almost feeling better.

If you're the Queen, and you run off with Prince...does that make it incest? I'm just wondering....

Choppzs said...

Summer vacation....I'm not to sure how i stand on the issue. Girly will be here to help, or do forced labor...whatever, but then again, I like it when I don't have to hear her bitch and whine about every little thing. So...Hmmmm...

KrazyMom said...

Who taught you how to do math? 25...hahahahaha! You forget that some of us reading this grew up with you and know all your secrets!! Well, at least some.

Have a great weekend!

Packof2 said...

I like your new place:) I haven't been on the blogs much so I didn't know you got new digs here...very nice.

I love Def Lep...but man Jon Bon Jovi is HOT!!!!!

Those were my two fav. boy band when I was in HS.

S

Katie said...

I can't believe they didn't have a crash system. Everywhere I have ever worked has one in cases where the machines are down.

Kendra Lynn said...

A Subway with a drive-thru? scott would be in heaven.

Kendra

Flip Flop Goddess said...

shoot,
I just got off from work...I will come back later and leave u comments..I have to go help my mother move into her new house..

Be back soon..

lo said...

I think God made drive thru's as a comedy show for those up there to have something to laugh at.....
What the f%$k else are they for!
And, as for 'fast food,' it's not even fast anymore and hasn't been since a Big Mac was 99cents!!! It is slow, sucky service with attitude and slow and cold food that is overpriced. But yeah, i keep going too. I figure the hell i go thru at the drive thru is penance for all the bad stuff i have done!
Lo
aka Canadian girl!

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

You must have good connections to get seats like that! Damn!

And you can DRIVE-THRU Subway?! There is not a subway in our state that you can drive-thru. We actually have to hget our asses out of the car to go in a get a sub. But at least the Subways around here have working debit card machines.

Glad your "symptoms" are going away.

1 plus twins said...

ok i so want the subway drivethru!! ok another thing we have in common, my oldest will be in 5th grade and my twins will be second graders!! just no preschooler for me just did the two at once deal. don't know what i was thinking on that one. lol

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Lo,
amen to every damn word u just said girl..amen..

Chels,]
no connections, just the perks of being a memeber of the fan club..but I am forking out nearly 200 bucks..

Boy it seems I have the ONLY drive thru subway..I guess I am a lucky gal..

1 plus twins,
how funny...But I will NOT be pushing out two at a time, I can tell u that much..

I can see I am going to have to post a pic of my sub way drive thru..

Honest to God I have one..hehe

Yarn Tails said...

Yay you got them! I hate that when the stupid debit card machines are busted. It happened to us out of town once. Ugh!

Drive thru hubby wont do....

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

gledwood said...

You "enjoy retarded things" ... sound like pretty normal things to me!

This is a well entertaining blog you've got here. I found you from your Aussie friend who I found through a friend of a friend ... great degrees of bloghopping have taken place of late ...

I'm at http://gledwood2.blogspot.com - that's my online journal - btw if you want to come see me you're most welcome.

See you later maybe. Keep up the great blog!

All the best to you

from

Gledwood "vol 2" ...