Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Get a real JOb

It seems the ole Jehovah Witness peddlers were out in full force this weekend.

I have posted about this before, not sure why I am doing it again, other then the fact I think there may have been some illegal activity this time.

Now I am all for people who are passionate about their religious beliefs. Thats cool. I am all about God an Jesus and singing hymns and shit..really I am...

What I do have issues with, is when you come to my home and try a force it on me.

That is not the way you convert people. Normally cults are the only ones who try to convert you, and yes, I am calling the JW folk a cult. If you are a member of this cult, GET OUT WHILE U CAN.

Do not come to my home, do not talk to my kids and please for the love of GOD himself, don't leave your damn pamphlets in my door.

Ok, I would rather you leave them on my door, then lets say, my counter top.

You see, this is where the illegal portion of the post comes in...

We spent all day Saturday out of doors....All 5 of us...

We come in the house and there is a nice JW leaflet on my counter. I question all kids, none brought it in. Now unless the Almighty Jehovah brought it in Himself, I am thinking these creepy asses brought it in for me..

These people are sort of like the drug dealers who try and pressure your kids into trying some crack. You see, if I wanted some crack, I would have a dealer and I would not need to be approached.

Same with this, if I wanted your freaking handouts, I would walk my fat ass up to your cult headquarters and ask for one myself.

Unless you have seen my fat ass looking thru your cult headquarters windows, chances are, I don't want your crap, nor do I want to read it.

I realize our world is made up of all different types of religions, and that is great. I am all for that. it makes the world go round, if we all were the same, how boring would that be?

I do enjoy learning about other cultures and teaching, however, I go to them. Or hell I go up to the public library and read a book on it.

No other religion ,and I use that term loosely, goes door to door trying to push their cult on anyone else.

Maybe if you stop and think about it, if your having a hard time getting people to believe your shit, maybe you should take a second look at what it is you are trying to sell us.

Its all bullshit.

I don't want any of it.

And if I did, I would already be an avid member and own the freaking hymnal.

Course I am not sure if you are even allowed to sing.

I know you cant have birthdays or Christmas.

Who the bloody hell wants Christmas and birthdays taken away. Unless your giving out a free plasma screen tv, there is no way you can convince me its a good idea to join your cult.

I did some research and found out that only weird people are in this cult.

Michael Jackson

Prince..(yes, I called him weird...he is, but I love him, and we would just go to separate churches if we were married)

Baby Spice from the Spice Girls...I mean, if your calling yourself baby spice, you already are not playing with a full deck.

ok, the rest of the people I have no damn idea who they are...so whats the damn point?

But from now on....don't come to my home. I will get a sign and post it in my yard, this sign will say

all trespassers will be shot on sight...if your from a cult, I will shoot you from the road, have a nice day...

I am gonna go to the nearest walmart and buy me a nice new shotgun. Cause you can buy firearms at any walmart or party store for that matter.

I am still ticked off they came into my house. Nowhere do I have a sign telling people..

if I do not answer the door, please feel free to open it, come in, use the john, get a soda and by all means leave your bullshit on the counter and I will look over it when I take my next shit.

I swear to God, I am going to punch the lights out of the next damn holy roller that happens to make my acquaintance at my front door.

Normally I am nothing but rude and I tell them to leave...You would think they would not come here anymore..

Unless they are desperately trying to save my soul.

But according to their religion, we are all going to die in a firery pit where the devil tromps on our souls anyway..so whats the damn point?

If you have ever read any of their crap, they don't make it sound very appealing..at least lie for goodness sake. Thats how any good cult works. You lie, get them in your grips, then you lock them up, and make them watch episode after episode of Good Times staring fellow JW Janet, Miss Jackson if your nasty.

Thats how u do it people.

For crying out loud...

So please, don't come to my dwelling, cuz I will shoot you next time.

Or stab you...I am not sure...

consider yourself warned.


J to the I to the double L said...

I cant believe they came into your house...HOLY shit!! (get it tee hee) did you leave one of your doors or windows unlocked?? Man thats scary! I'd get a gun too if I were you..

Flip Flop Goddess said...

well we were just in the back door, my front door was unlocked...my doors are always unlocked when I am home..

Katie said...

I can't believe they came into your house. Not cool.

Humincat said...

I want to leave a big sign in my front yard saying "If you talk to my kids, my dogs, my plants or even breathe in the direction of my property without my direct permission, you will be hung by your dinky little man parts" Do you think that would be offensive?

Neurotic1 said...

I say go get a gun and start the tirade now! Heck- I might even come watch :)

Flip Flop Goddess said...

not cool at all;)

yes...that might just get the job done, very good;)

not offensive at all:)

well come on down;)

Jamie Dawn said...

We had our first JW pamphlet stuck on our front door just last week.
Hooray!!! They found us!!!!
I agree with you. I have no use for their crap.

1 plus twins said...

i sooooooooooo agree with you. that is such a sore subject with me. i hate when anyone trys to push their beliefs on me. and that is bullshit they came into your house!!!

Tom said...

I don't know how far you'd want to pursue it, but maybe a police report?
The police may know who the people are. We get Mormons 'round here. Maybe at least phone the local Kingdom Hall, or wherever you think they're from and raise hell. Social misfits tend to join cults like the JWs. Yeah, sneaking in with pamphlets, that should make you want to commit yourself for life to thier faith!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

it does not take them long to seek us out does it?

They kinda scare me.

one plus twins,
I know, I hate when they try and push their crap on me too..There really should be some sort of ban against them..we need to start something;)

good idea...I dont even know where our local kingdom hall is..I did not even know we had one, but we must somewhere..

JoeinVegas said...

Back east it was JW, out here it's the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (get it all right), come to your door in twos, usually young guys on bicycles, white shirts, skinny black ties, backpacks full of bibles and the Book of Mormon to give away. But I've never heard of them coming in uninvited.

KrazyMom said...

I would try to find out where they came from and let them know how offended you are that they let themselves into your home. That is just wrong! Some people are so incredibly pushy!

jsull said...

Mrs. Floppy Britches,
The craziest thing is if it never worked surely they wuldn't do it. I mean come on. I can tell you how to abuse them though if you wanna, its easy and fun. Since Mr. Shakes is gonna preach hell fire and brimstone I suspect you at least know a little about the Bible. If you agree to listen but stipulate that you will only listen if you can ask them quesion for question they will not do it. They cant rebut anyting, they have zero original thoughts. They are exactly like Democrates they spew their rehearsed lines, drink the kool-aid and can not win any debate or arguement.
Try it it will be fun. Ask them about specific verses that don't toe their line. They are stuped like when they axed John Edwards about who was his moral inspiration, he couldn't answer, haaaaa he is a Dem he has no morals!
Really you will enjoy it they stammer and kick the dirt, put their hands in their pokets to their elbows.
or shoot them with a shotgun.
I recommend for you a 20 gauge pump action shotgun. Also if you will be within 20 yards shoot 00 buckshot.
there ya go
good luck and go get em

Flip Flop Goddess said...

I have never heard of them coming in uninvited either, well I guess they come to our doors uninvited, this is just theri natraul progerssion I suppose.

well, trust me, next time I catch wind of them, its not going to be pretty.

I have done that before..Questioned them about their beliefs..I did it when we lived in MI and I did it the first time they showed up here a few years back..

they keep talking and telling what I was reading was false and that if I did get my facts straight, I would live in enternal fire.

Go me...

But I told them I thought they were going to live in a lifetime of fire cuz they wont get the fuck off my property;)

Cliff Morrow said...

1.I agree with you.
2.I have to ask...did you used to write the script for the Floyd R Turbo skits on the Tonight Show?? Just wondering.
Signed, a Fan From Nebraska

Flip Flop Goddess said...

1. Glad you agree;)
2. I have never even watched the Tonight Show;)


naked and undesirable said...

yo kno what u oughta do next time!
I neva thunk of this
say you will only listen under one condition
they can come in and spend as much time as they like telling you whatever but they haveto leave their clothes outside on the steps!!!!!!!!!!
all of them
thats what i'll do next time

Yippeeskip said...

I used to tell them and the Mormon's that if they smoked a joint with me, I'd listen to their bullshit.
They went away.

patti_cake said...

I can't believe they came into your house either. OMG I would be FREAKING OUT.

matt said...

1 I am a JW

2 If you call the local JW Kingdom Hall (Please do) they will likely have a talk about NOT going into people's homes (just in case)

3 Very unlikely a JW would have the @$$% to walk in an empty house.

4 stop and think -- JW's are not into politics so they don't try to get people elected to office and then have them make laws that YOU have to follow. BUT every other religion does. JW's are nto forcing their religion on you, all the others are. JW's come around once in a whhile to say "hey, we think that something bad is going to happen and if it does we want you to be ready." IF you don't care we leave... How is that 'pushing' our religion?

5 What is a cult? Notice that all religions actually fit that definition. I don't mind if people call my religion a cult, they just need to realize that if mine is, theirs is too (if they have one)

matt said...

SOme other stuff

Jw's wouldn't tellyou you were gonna live in eternal fire because we don't believe in it.

I love it when people ask me questions and so do most JW's so asking Q's when they come around is only going to get you more visits.

J to the I to the double L said...

You could always invite them in for a beer, like my dad does...usually they will come in and drink coffee..then he tells them that he is the pastor of his own church "The First Church of Whats Happening Now" and how the congregation all sit around naked drinking beer while he preaches then they usually realize that he is a nutjob and they politely back off...works for jimmy!!

Just A Girl said...

That is insane.

I don't care if you are drinking the kool aid or not, you are born with the common sense to know better than to walk into someone else's home.

Were any of your neighbors bothered by them that day? Anyone else complain about similar circumstances?

I'd definately call the Kingdom Hall and probably even have an elder come to my house to discuss it so I was sure they understood my point when I expressed my desire to press charges against their flock over the incident.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

I just got hom from work dudes...

I will be back later to respond to your comments;)

Choppzs said...

Yah, they are all over here too, drives me fricken insane!

Oh and have you ever wondered why they don't have windows at their churches, or places or whatever the hell they call their gathering place?? My Hubs always brings that up. He says its probably because it's a strip joint inside! lol Hmmm, makes you wonder just what the hell they do in there!