Thursday, October 05, 2006

A word in Spanish

So, I am on a hunger strike. I am not fighting for any particular cause. .I am not dedicated enough to stop eating for a cause. So its just a good ole fashion hunger strike..

I decided against the whole detox diet, as some told me about some possible tooth loss..Good God know.

I am not only tired of doing dishes and cookin up the daily slop, but I am tired of everyone complaining about what I am cooking. I figure, if I can go without eating, surely these folks can. And they will. I can live on cereal and water. I have done it before.

Tuesday night before my hunger strike took effect, Mr Shaky made this cake he got from a lady from work. OH MY GOODESS .

instead of using oil in cakes we always use applesauce...Instead of eggs, I use eggbeaters..Cause I am worried about the potential effect on my heart eating that shit..

anyway, this is what the cake consisted off

yellow cake mix...use the substiutes I said..unless u dont mind getting fat.

fat free cool whip, mandarin oranges, fat free sugar free vanilla pudding,crushed pineapple in light syrup.

Now when you make the cake you mix the mandarin oranges into the mix..

the frosting is the fat free coolwhip with the pudding and crushed pineapple all mixed in..

It was so good...

I told Mr Shaky that I would be divorcing him and asking for the ladies hand in martial bliss. He then informed me she was married. I told him it was her loss then.

This is my son pretending not to be mentally impaired. I asked him how the dogpiling of the girls was doing. he told me he had retired. I said
" retired from dogpiling?"..he said " no, from girl chasing."

Gosh I hope he isnt gay.

not that there is anything wrong with that of course.

Oh, and he walked home from school today, I told him tommorw tell his kidnapper I said hello, and to tell him he only eats peanut butter and cheez its..jusst so he is well fed.

This is Boo NOT pretending she is addicted to the devil box.

This is Blondie Bee, the badd ass of the hood..My soon to be pistol packin daughter..

she claims she just tapped her too hard playing tag....But the girl claims she was punched..Now who do you believe? Look at the face. Is this the face of a beater upper? I think not.

Ok, my boo has new boyfriend/obsession. She use to be all about this pot bellied Mexican girl

Yes Dora. I hate Dora. I hate all she stands for. Which to me is annoying the sh*t outta me. Now here at my hive Dora is on at the same time as this

This my friends is Handy Manny. Another Spanish speakin toon for my Boo to get her diapers in a knot about. She says to me about 20 plus times a day

" momma, I wanna watch hanny manny"...Yes she calls him HANNY MANNY...She is a mentally challenged and can not speak the dialect clearly. I blame it on the Spanish that is taking over her brain. Instead of teaching tots Spanish, lets try things that are more useful.

Handy Manny, here are some tips from me Bossy, to you...

Try teaching my kid how to piss in the toilet and to change the roll of TP when she's done .Or tieing her shoes. This crap is useful to me.

Bee Real

BTW, I am taking applications for a best friend..or any friend for that matter. If you would like to apply let me know..I am not fussy. hell you can even pretend to be my friend if ya want. I will email you the 10 page application if your intersted in applying. And your shots must be up to date.


Butch's Uncle J said...

well I aint filling out nuttin cause I dont have to, see I'm like that. I get accepted anyway cause I have game like that. Why would anyone want a friend to begin with? They want to come over, they want to tell u their probs, cry on your shoulder, borrow shit, expect stuff, expect u to answer the fone
expect you to GAF. Friends suck really
thats why I have none.
Atta boy butch, don't be a girl chaser, let them chase you, you don't need em, really,
they have this lil stuff you think is all powerful, they will use it against you
run my lil man
run like ur on fireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

OMG, you are so right about the friends thing..But damn..I was hoping to tell somoen all my troubles..haha..but I dont wanna hear nobody elses;)

Oh my, and your advice to Butch, that is some priceless garb there, cracker.

the purty one said...

suagr I have forgotten more useless information like I posted than most folks ever knew!!!!
That is good advice for Butch. I still aint sure he aint mine. I like that cat.

Aint it so about friends????
I mean here on the interesting net its ok, you wanna aswer you do, when, where and how you want. IRL tho, they come over, they cry, piss, puke, fart (which I know you have never done :)) and you have to listen or be a son of the biotch. Friends suck, they all take more than they give, mine do anyway, both of them. Most folks think I'm an ass, I'm for it.
Don't hate me because I am Beautiful

Michael Manning said...

Bossy: Face it...Your Kids ROCK!


Karin said...

I would love to be considered a friend but I am not willing to fill out any more stinking applications. I feel they are a waste of valuable time. Time that could be spent drinking wine or baking cakes. I shall have to try your cake recipe at some point. I hope that your hunger strike doesn't last too long becasue then they just call it anorexia.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes internet friends are very benifcail that u sayin u dont want me comin over and fartin on your sofa?

thank you..sometimes they do, sometimes they dont;)

I will wave the application for you, and only long as your sots are up to date, and u bake me cake.

Uncle J said...

im thinkin u sluffed off on ur 2.5 hr workout

how could you????
u dont do that, I have been told.........
the elephant never fergets!!!
the interesting net friends are ok on my account but the irl ones need to find someone else!!!!!
the funny thing is most interestingnet folks dont like me all thast good either!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

nope not sluthing off, just did one huour on treamill, now getting ready to do my weights, then my jump roping..see I dont lie neither:)

Carmen said...

I will be your friend but first I need to get updated on my shots. Let's see - first I'll start with vodka and then I'll end with rum. Will that work? BTW if your kids continue to look that cute- no one will ever suspect them of wrongdoing!

Gette said...

I cannot be entirely sure, but I believe Handy manny is behind Thing 4's current habit of carrying around his toy tool kit and "fitsing" things. Fit-sing. Do not transpose those letters, you evil-minded internet commenteers.

vani said...

hehe- me, me! i'll be your best friend! but i'm not good at filling out applications, don't ask me how i got my job.

Working Mom said...

Now you went and made me all hungry for cake (not that it's very hard to do)!

Friends suck. All nice to you as long as you do what THEY want. Heaven forbid you need THEM for something.

I don't sound bitter, do I?

kaliblue said...

Ok, so I've had a really pissy day fighting with my SIL about my crazy MIL and all kinds other drama. And since reading this, I have to say a big ole thank you for the laugh. I needed it bad!!!!! :-).

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

those were just the shots I was speaking of..your in sweety:)

oh no, maybe those two should not play togher anymore, we dont need them too fising anything toghter, or shit will end up broken..hehe

I am so loving your new pic..

Hmm, let me think about this..ok u dont need to fill out an application, just a short essay:)

see that is where my trouble lies.I am like the best friend a person could have..I am loyal, I dont talk about u behind your back, and I keep secets better then santa..but when I am in need of something, they shit all over me..and i am done..

we need to start a friend bandwagon on getting rid of crappy freinds.

u poor thing...sorry bout your bad day..glad I was of help:)

j said...

yeah yeah yeah I'm buyin that
sure I am.
uh huh
jump it once for me!!

Yankee Belle said...

I would like to apply for the position of best friend.

Why? Cause I just moved to SC from Germany in July and I am still bestfriendless. I could be because I've poked fun of some of the the waitresses at the "Lizard's Thicket". I meant no harm,'s just that the sign outside said "Country Cookin' Make's You Good Lookin'" and I innocently said to my daughters, "guess the waitresses don't eat here".

Anyways, I am fully potty trained and I can make a mean Weight Watcher Friendly Cake. I can also survive on cereal and water if necessary.

I do have a retarded husband though who does things like go to the highschool to pick up my daughter 45 minutes early from play practice, and instead of parking and waiting in front of the doors she always comes out of, decides to cruise ALL the parking lots of the college campus sized school, calling me every 5 minutes to ask "What Parking Lot and has she called yet" instead of calling her on her own personal cell and saying, "I'm here, I'm out front, hurry up" and THEN decides to leave (at the very time she said she would be done) to drive up the road to McDonald's to go to the bathroom and of course LEAVES his cell phone in the car so he can't be reached and we think he's been car jacked from the Gym parking lot! Yes....retarded!!

And sorry I haven't been around much girls have been running me ragged with their after school activities and I joined Weight Watchers! LOL

So what do you say? Can I have the job??

Fantastagirl said...

Handy Manny... instead of the dora - and it's more tolerable? hmmm I may just owe you...

Wait a minute - I've just flipped through the channel guide - what channel is this on?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

belive it, and i have the rock hard calves to prove it, remeber:)

Yankee Belle
I have been wondering what happen to you..gosh you sound busy.

weight watchers sucks..haha good luck on it though..and can be my best freind..thank you:)

Disney Channel..playhouse disney..

j said...

the elephant never fergets...........
specially not pics!!!!!

and weight watchers doesnt suck
it doesnt eat either
I have watched mine
mine expanded often!!!!!!
risky biz J

Mrs. Diamond said...

I was gonna be your friend, but then I read butch's uncle j's post and now I can't stop laughing. Gotta love that attitude.

but I'll be your friend anyways, cuz I'm mushy about stuff like that.

Brandy said...

ROFLMAO!!! Fill out an application to be a friend.. I should do that to some of the people I know.. Then I would know which ones use me for my crafting talent.. LOL Still laughing at that one.. I think I will be laughing at that one all nite long!!!

The shows they put on for kids.. who think this shit up.. There was a few shows that my kids watched when they were little that I swear those people were on crack or something.. OMG they were horrible.. But it kept the kids happy!!

Have a great nite!!

BTW still laughing over the application for the friend and all the shots!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh contrare..weight watchers does suck:)

you keep bringing up elephants, is there something u need to tell me?

Mrs D,
thank you for offering to be my friend..makes me happy..

well ole cracker up there really is not his uncle, in fact I have no idea who that loon is..hehe..

he's good people though:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

gosh, I did not realize that the application process would tickle so many people..haha

well we gotta weed out the bad ones dont we?

and yes, I would want you to make me cookies and knit me booties:)

Brandy said...

Well you are lucky.. I just love baking cookies and making things. Lets see.. maybe I could trade ya for those and you could get me on a Ok who am I kidding I love to cook to much to go on a diet.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

how bout we make a bake and we both eat like we are gonna die tommorow:)

is it a deal?

js said...

No Mrs D
I am that dudes Daddy!
he is a cool cat, I like him a bunch
no I am not his uncle, if I was that would make my thoughts ummmmm devious at best :)~
I'm glad you sniggered at my take tho
and I am kinda good people
u gotta dig deep to get there tho

the elephant to which I refer is to my memory and weight!!!!
I watched it
it gained!
u kno i do!
ole uncle daddy naughty thoughts j

Bumbling Bav said...

I am a shitty friend... but ya need a hole dug for cover up... I am your girl. I will bring my shovel, the booze and loud music...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I have a memorey of an elephant too, but I hope to God I dont come cloe to the weight of one..good Lord.

I am thinking u never sleep..ur some sorta robot.

I am a shitty friend too. I mean I listen to your woes..I will pull your hair back if your puking cuz u drank too on the phone with ya off a buliding if ur gonna jump..

but yet I dont have any anymore, so I must be one shitty friend.

FRIENDS where did u all go, why have u forsaken me.


j said...

i am a great friend!
well a good looking one anyway
and smart
and sexy and sweet
and intellegent
and pretty
and funny
and humble

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh cracker,
somedays you are my only friend..


js said...

hit the rock again BB
You have many more posters that any blog I read
I preciate you classifing me as a friend
but please for the love of Darwin (it tickles thew shit outta me when I say that) don't come over to the house, well when the bride is home anyway.........!
Uncle J

JUST A MOM said...

ok i am not even reading them all you looking for friends when you have 31 comments PLEASE or PPPAAAAAALESE. AND I love the cool stuff your blog does I am bery slow on learning things.

Miss 1999 said...

This is my first visit here- and the first thing I saw was that you were from Minnesota- and referred to it a the crappiest of the lower 48, and girl, I've got to agree. My husband is from Minnesota, and I'm from the mountains in Tennessee. I depleted my supply of Xanax before getting back to the South again. I can't live on the flat lands!

Jewl said...

Dora Dora Dora... How I hate you, let me count the ways. Yeah, EM loves her and it is on in this house too much along with in the car!
I can so be your new best friend... I just had a falling out with mine about two months ago. I guess I am a "horrible friend" because I couldn't spend countless hours emailing her, calling her, and shopping with her because I am doing things like raise my child...Not that I hold a grudge or anything... :)
I have become a hermit.

Hails said...

Ur kids crack me up! They are just adorable. DORA is evil I agree. My niece LOVES her as well and when she was over for xmas, she had one of those leap frog pad things and she had dora and OMG annoying!

If I have to be your friend I can pretend for u :P

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

no worries...your bride will never see the likes of me:)

but I got hurt feelings..are you trying to hide me?..haha

Just a mom,
thanks for stopping by..I hope to see you here again, I will be popping over to your place for a read as well:)

Miss 1999,
yes it is the crappiest state..and I am not even born and bred here:)

I am taking my xanex to get my thru till we move outta here;)

I will not ask you to email me for counteless hours...or hell we dont even have to talk:)

so you are saying you will only pretend to be my friend..oh gosh I am bawling my eyes out now;)

Crashdummie said...

Dudette, regarding your friend application.. doncha think its a lil' bit creapy ala the movie Single white female

just_tammy said...

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend is sitting beside you in the cell saying 'man, that was fun!' Or something like that. I truly wouldn't know right about now. Seems like most of my friends including the 'very best' one forgot all about my birthday. One I haven't heard from in ages did send a little gift which arrived on b-day. That made me feel like dirt since I haven't been there for her recently. Nothing like guilt and loneliness on a day I wish wouldn't roll around so stinkin often!

BTW, you hate talking on the phone in case you've forgotten! You are avoiding all the things I like to make to cheer people up, so I'd stink as your friend. Hope someone who fits the bill applies.

Your bees are still the best. Oh, do you know why Dora is Dora? My Spanish speaking son explained it to me. Yeap, I'm clueless about all the new kiddie shows, but now I know why Dora is Dora. Whatever!

Hope you have a great day. Hope you find a friend. Think I'll tie a pork chop around my neck and try to get someone's dog to be mine!

j said...

i had no fear!!!!
ole friendly j

Crashdummie said...

ryc: awww, you can be my special friend (read: retarded)...

As i wrote, guily by association ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

OH gosh I never thought about that..

Just Tammy,
well your my bestes stranger friend..and talking on the phone only depends on WHO u r talking too..ya know what I mean..

I always like talking to you..

oh my gosh, did i miss your birthday?

when was it?...shit, I am sorry..I know its in Ocotber..damn..I was gonna send u a card too..shit..

ok, good..we got that one settled..

ok we can be retards togheter...does that sound good?


just_tammy said...

Okay, now I feel better about the phone thing. Just need to find your number again so I can torment you. That's what friends are for!

Monday was the big day. Hubby left on Sunday so the kids did their best. Both had school and other things so it was just another day for me. The antique show - ha ha - and the apple festival this weekend will make up for all of it.

I can be your stranger friend since I am younger - barely - than your mother and older - by a few decades - than your soon-to-be step-mom!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh well I was not in my right mind Monday..ya no, the MIL was here..


The Kept Woman said...

I would like to apply for the position of friend. Please see my earlier ad for same to see if our interests are on common ground.

Michele_3 said...

Love "The friend application idea!"
don't you wish you could do that for people you have to come into contact with daily & don't want to?
Send me the application,I'll be your friend(better not get denied though- & I have had all my shots too! :)
Your kids crack me up, somewhere I think they get their wit from another family member that lives at home with them though...HMMMM Who could it be?
Have a good one girlfriend!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I already know your a shoo in..For cripes sake you are in my neighboring state, we are practically related..and u kick ass;)

I wish applications came standard with everything..

well I am much funnier then the bees, but they are in trainng to be as great as me..haha

Ju said...

Hey bossy! I'm back! I sure missed reading your blogs. They always get a chuckle out of me. Hey, better handy manny than dora's cousin diego. He's just as annoying as she is. The cake sounds yummy. I need to try eating healthier myself.

Kendra Lynn said...

Oooh. Mandarin Orange Cake...I wonder if its as good as the one my granny used to make me. I've taken over the family receipe. :)
I make the best Mandarin Orange Cake and Lemon Layer Desserts now.
Oh yeah.


Kami said...

I'll be your friend. :)

I'm on a hunger strike to lose these pounds I found. DAMNIT.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

where the hell ya been girl?..glad to see you..

and she loves Dieago, but for some reaosn that dont give me diraha watching it;)

wow, now that sounds darn good.

yes, I have found some extra pounds too..that I am on strike for..damnit, why do we need to eat anyway?

Violet said...

the last time i went on a hunger strike was when i was protesting my boyfriend broke up with me. i figured it was win/win - either i'd lose weight and find another guy or the first one would feel bad and get back together with me...

that's only slightly crazy logic, right?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

so did he take ya back or did ya find someone betetr?..haha

j said...

I'm gald we got that all cleared up!
I was surely frettin it

Meow said...

What do ya want friends for ?? Get the kitten !!
Or a teddy bear.
Or something else that won't answer back, criticise, or whatever.
Take care, Meow

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I figgered as much:)

you have a point:)