Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Owner of a lonely heart

Going on day 3 with no Sheila. It is starting to effect me in ways I never imagined.

Ipods suck.....well they suck when their cord breaks and you can not charge them...I miss sheila, sheila can u hear me...

I was watching Oprah the other day, I hate her, but I watch her...OK I love her, but whatever. She had on this odd looking doctor. Dr Oz is his name. He is the oddest looking lad I have seen, but he knows stuff. he can tell you anything about diarrhea, farting, or anything to do with body fluids in general.

this Dr Oz informed me about a situation I have. I have talked about how I smell really bad after I workout. well he told me that sweat itself does not smell, only if you have lots of bacteria living on you, do you stink. So not only do I smell, but I am being eaten alive by bacteria . damnitalltohell.

this doc also said he does not wear he wears deodorant, just not the AP...because he says sweating is something u should not try and stop. That is when I realized he was crazy. But I then thought to myself, I bet he smells just as rank as I do..and then I did not feel so bad.

I had this fly buzzing around me yesterday. it only buzzed around me. it did not fly around the other 3000 square feet of my hive, just around my head. I kept telling the sucker I was going to kill it. But I could not catch it. damn thing. Its probably mating with another fly as I speak, making babies to fly over my head all winter...

My kitty is cute, take a look here, see my elderly cat in the background...Her name is sagwa and she is a Siamese..She does not like other cats...She just sits at a distance and glares at her, I think she is sure if she tries hard enough she can kill her with her death rays.

This is Boo bee kickin back on the sofa with the kitty. No she is not sleeping, she is watching tv...this happened to be her tv hour..and u guessed it, we were watching Handy freakin Manny....Then Dora....

What i don't get , is how can a child read a map and not get lost? I get lost even when I read a map. Damn I am stupid.....Dora has got more smarts then me..

So I have decided that since I am being eaten alive by bacteria, that I should live like there is no tomorrow. Or start using antibacterial soap when I shower, rather then my Dove body wash that smells like shey cocoa butter and honey....

I will smell like Lysol from now on.....rock on I say...But I wont be smellin anymore.

Oh and only a little less then 2 weeks and I go to Fargo to meet the band....I need to get my skank off by then...Oh Lord please let my skank leave by then..

But chances are I will get lost, cause like I said, I cant read a map.

Bee Real


Karin said...

So you have lots of stinky bacteria huh? I have been watching Oprah and I hate her more everyday. So why can I not stop watching her. Her road trip is truly irratating. The kitten is so cute and she looks like a cuddler. I hope she keeps that quality. Don't worry SHeila will be back and charged soon. Until then try to stay sane and upbeat.

Michele_3 said...

You kill me about the sweats and bacteria & Lysol! too funny!

Boo Bee is so adorable- That is such a sweet pix of her and the kitty- ADORABLE!

What is the kitty's name?
Did i miss that part? forgive me if I did- I have been running around crazy lately w/ Hubby gone in Vegas

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

OMG...I feel the same way, I hate her but yet watch her out of nessaity..the road trip really pisses me who is so vain they think crashing a strangers wedding is a good idea..OH ITS OPRAH..hip hip horray..i think not.


well I told mr shaky he could name her..big freakin mistake..



Blazer1234 said...

Maybe Lysol should make a body soap. Then the world would be rid of stank.

Kitty is adorable. Hopefully she is not learning too much from Dora's maps, and planning to escape from your overly-anxious-to-make-a-friend dog. Did tortise watch Dora? That may be your problem right there.

Poor Shelia. I'm sure she hears you talking to her, she just can't respond yet. Get her a new life-line, OK?

The Kept Woman said...

Ha...I've never been in the single digits as a commenter!!

Now I'm going back to read...will return...

The Kept Woman said... for my insightful commenting...

Or not.

About that fly...did that episode happen to occur just after a workout by chance? I mean, I'm only wondering...

Working Mom said...

Oh your new kitty is adorable!

I've heard that about AP before. Don't know where though but I thought it was odd. I'm sure we can come up with a cure for your funk before you meet my Joe :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I am sure the tortise watchrd countless housrs of dora..but he did not have a map, at least i dont think he did.

ok, i am waiting...ok done...good..

um, it was before..but the shirt i was wearing stink all the time, its like my odor is imbedded in it..gross really.

Oh me too...I dont wanna scare him away..

I have to give him your number, he wont take a number from a skanky smellin skank:)

Kendra Lynn said...

What a cute kittycat. :)
Too bad they make me sneeze and my eyes swell shut..not fun.
Looks like Boo loves it though.


Brandy said...

First Shelia will be back in your loving hands Friday!! And she will sing your praises!!

Boo and Kitty are sooo Cute and Sweet and Adorable.. you get the picture right?? LOL

2 weeks you get to meet the band and in 2 years I get to go to Paris, Riviera and Rome with my daughter.. Wooo Hooo!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well I am glad i am not alergic to them..course i would have 2 keep them anyway:)

wow, 2 years is a long time to wait for that..

why 2 years?...can I go 2?

Jerry said...

You've just got to get a new Sheila. Maybe Target has some cheapie MP3 player for a third of the price of an iPod. No tunes makes a super Bossy BossyBritches.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

is it that obvious?

novaks8 said...

I saw that too.

Oprah was looking at him like he was bat shit crazy too!

She is seriously annoying lately.

What is up?

All that money finally went to her head I guess.

I was thinking of you today...on my drive I heard "Satisfy" by Prince. woooot.

JUST A MOM said...

you have so many friends,, ok here is hte deal with this stupid Dora,, she has a talking monkey guy and the map talks and her back pack too so she is not so smart in the long run. Man I wish I had the whit as you do I love it. Have a great smelly day.

deni said...

Boo Bee and kitty are just too cute!!

Don't wear AP? What, does that guy have rocks in his head?

Now I have to go and kick my kid out of bed for school, I yelled about 20 times already, maybe it's time for a bucket of cold water. Grrrrr.

beth said...

cute kitty! way too cute! no wonder you had to have her! So do you have Dora everything in your house, too?

Angie said...

well I am feelin your pain. Yesterday I dropped and completely destroyed my clunky ole CD player. I mean, COMPLETELY destroyed the stupid thing. So while you and apple aren't getting along, now I've gotta figure out some other way to listen to my tunes while I work I'm right there with ya. I saw that Oprah too. I flipped the channel after Dirrehea, something about watching a man talk openly about poop just before dinner made me want to hurl...

Hails said...

Your kitten is so cute! Bugs! YUK! Flies annoy me. They are checky little shits. BUT HAHA I have fly spray that attracts straight to them, so suck eggs flies!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

and I love that song too;)

Just a MOm,
I figure Dora must be trippin on drugs to think everything talks...why the hell cant I have a talking monkey?..not fair..

did u get a buclet of cold water, or did they get up?

nope, not everything..somethings..I am not one of them to buy "commercail" items..I am odd that way..

but she does have lots of dora dolls, and a dora chair..ok we have lots of dora stuff:)

oh my..see now this is a delima..I hate to tell you to break down and waste 400 bukcs on an ipod..but i suppose u can alwyas buy anohter cd thing..

man, i feel for sucks..i know.

bring some of that fly spray here please;)

Carmen said...

I was visiting my Mom in Michigan one time and I stupidly forgot my deodorant. She tried to get me to use this stupid crystal that you wet and put on. It is suppose to work better. Needless to say I ran to Target to get some new deodorant. I hate Oprah! I refuse to watch her. Maybe your turtle is on it's way here to show my moron dogs how to get out of our fence. Sure would make my life easier!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh I have only heard fables of that rock..never knew anyone who had

well my tortise ran away in June of 05..I hope to goodness he woulda made it there by now, I mean he can haul ass.

Jewl said...

I always wanted to have a Stanky friend...
Didn't you know that Oprah is really God....

js said...

maybe the band likes skanky chicks
I'm sure that the other groupies trying to get their attention will include some skankies!!!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well now u got one...and i had heard rumors she was God, but I have had no confirmation yet;)

well I want to attract them with my eyes and my boobs, not my smell..

or maybe my rock hard calves..i dunno..they will mor ehtne likely walk right by me unless i take my damn shirt off..

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh and cracker
last night when iw as watching south park..chef called all the white people crakcers and I thought of u..hehe

i laughed and mr shaky wondered what was so funny..but i knew he wouldnt get it..haha

Choppzs said...

Well Lysol will now be your best friend! You may smell a little funny, but at least it wont be a yucky smell! lol

I HATE DORA! That bitch needs to speak more english! lol But unfortunatly Crazy Boy loves her, and I am forced to hear her day after day! Damn it all to hell if he starts speaking fricken spanish!

Brandy said...

Hey Bossy... They have it set up for 2 years so you can make payments on it. I am going to be talking more about it on my blog. Definitely will have to do some fundraising for it and all.

You can go too!! LOL Should have a blast. I feel so good that my teenage daughter wants her old mom to go with her!! Should have a blast!!

deni said...

She got up, finally, kicking and screaming the whole time, and I didn't even have to use a bucket.


js said...

please in the name of all things good if you do whip the puppies out get some photographical evidence to send or post!!!!!!!
So Mr. Shakes didn't get the cracker thing huh??
well I'm glad U sniggerd at me even when I wasn't around

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well Boo Bee is saying things in Spanish, and wanna beat her.

wow you can make payments on those kind of trips?..i had no idea..I could afford that..haha..

well if ur having a fundraiser I will make some cookies..haha

I was the same way when I was that kids get up before I do, and my son makes his own breakfast..he gets up about 530, and does not even need to get up till about 645..he is very odd..

I wonder if there is shrinkage. Ya no when its cold men supposedly have shrinkage, although I dont belive a word of it..

But it would not be fair to the people out there to nt get a full veiw, and if its as cold then as it is today..(its freaking snowing right now)..there will be no booby lifting:)

cracker j said...

hell I'm the only guy on the internet that is in a constant state of shrink!!!!!!!
and as for breasteses they would probaby condense causing them to rise because the skin would contract a little. As far as I can tell most moms would like them to contract ans rise up!!!!
so there ya go, one excuse gone gone gone!
Well is 80 degrees here so anyway enjoy the snow, notttttttt accccckkkkkkk
I also am fully confident that nobody would be disappointd at the state of the pups, warm, cold or otherwise!

The Blog Whore said...

I want to slap oprah.

The kitty is cute.