Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Desperado

Why don't I come to my senses? Because I am a damn retard that's why.

The last two night I have had rampid sex dreams about that blue wiggle again. I don't know why. I have had a crush on him for years, until he grew those nasty Elvis sideburns that is. And when I saw him at the croc hunters memorial service, his teeth were just too white. It sorta blinded me. Now I am all about good oral hygiene, in my house I am the tooth natzi. I make my kids brush there teeth not once, not twice, but three times in row, just to be sure they are clean. I don't like looking at people with bad or no teeth. They creep me out. But ultra white teeth make me shudder.

Now I don't know what my fasination with him is. Maybe I have a deep seeded love for kangaroos or dingos. I don't know. But I do have a crush on him. I have not had a dream about him in a long while, so I thought our relationship was over. I thought we made a clean break.

But Anthony has come crawling back, as I knew he would.

All this isn't saying much about me. I have also had sex dreams about Oprah. I attribute that to her money.

My house is slowly being taken over by those lady bug impostors. I don't know how the little bastards get in, but they are all over. I don't mind bugs, as long as they stay where they belong..Outside or under my shoe..Whatever

~
When we were at the pumpkin patch Saturday, they had kittens. Cute little kittens. A sign above the fuzzy little crappers said " kittens can be adopted out, contact staff"

Mr Shaky would not let me contact staff. I keep telling me that cute little calico keeps calling my name. He tells me its not my name she is calling, she is saying...let me come and crap on your floor please.

I tell him if your going to be a minister you need to love all Gods creatures. It makes him physically ill when people tell them how their dogs live to be over 20 years old. Our dog is 2 and our cat is 5. I think he is hoping there time is up soon. Most days I would like to put my dog under the tire of my mini van and let her go. But I don't like seeing blood, or dead carcass's and it would be all over my drive way, and I would have to clean it.

dogs are too much work. Kinda like husbands and kids. I keep looking for the lady who tried to dognap her. I might put a sign around her neck saying " free to semi good home.."

~
I am conflicted. Both the Twins and the Tigers are in the play offs. I want the Tigers to win the whole shebang. If I tell anyone that here, I get death threats. As my son would say.." Cant we just make a peace treaty and agree to disagree?"

I like baseball, as long as I don't have to watch it or hear it. Hell I like most sports as long as I don't have to see it or hear about it.

well I am off to cause some much needed ruckus at the county jail. I think them bitches up there are missin me. And the guys in MAX...Yup they are hot for me too. Gotta go curl my hair.And lipgloss, I need my lipgloss..hotdamnbaby!

Bee Real

39 comments:

Blazer1234 said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one having crazy sex dreams (vividly, disturbingly CLEAR sex dreams) with people from TV. Man,TV really DOES rot the brain, like my mom always told me!

Another cat? Sweetie, they don't stay cute kittens forever.

Hope you get those jailhouse boys and girls in line.

ole fella j said...

Oprah???????????
good god woman!
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh
but then when I think of her money i might could
but the visual of you and her makes me shudder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont guess i know the wiggles
im thinking i know what wiggles tho!

you could really f with the inmates
i mean just a lil smack from you, pretty as you are would surely catapult you to superstar status.
I mean in the yard they would be saying, "you know what fucking fine assed sexy jailer chick with the rock hard calves said to me?????"
get em girl!!!!!!!!!!!
jsull

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

blazer,
oh I dont want a kitty..it was one of them passing fancy things..kinda like when u see a baby, and u think what a good idea it would be to have one...

one cat, one dog and three bees is enough..oh i forgot i have a rabbit too..damn..

so who r ur sex dreams about, I am dieing to know..

I also have sex dreams about the guy who plays Dr House..dr Troy from Nip/Tuck..once i had one about phil collens..what the hell is that about?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cracker,
well, I am not saying the Oprah dream was one of my better sex dreams..hehe

Dont your tots watch the wiggles?..oh they must crakcer, all lil tots do.

Rock hard calves huh?...ur damn right there..I work my ass off for the legs..my best feature i say..my arms are pretty good too, I hate to toot my own horn though..haha

;)

needsta lose 150 j said...

Well I have seen your calves, therefor I can comment on them, and your breasteses were very covered but I could guess they were ok. You said they were 2 big, I think most guys would wonder "whats 2 big?" haaaaaaaaaaa
anyway
u look very nice to me and I'm sure all of you is acceptable. If you lose 50 tho I am positive you would be uglier than burnt cornbread
just what I'm thinking
and I dunno if my brrod watched the wigglers or not but if you say so then i reckon they do!
ole outta town while my youngn's watch the tv j

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

aww is crakcer missin his tots?

so uglier then cornbread huh?..I guess I need to post a photo of before I got fat..and u will see what I mean...

but yes, I do have rock hard legs..oh and abs...well under a tiny layer of fat..but its there i swear it is crakcer:)

you always crack me up..thank you..

j said...

well damn if that counts then sheeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt
I have a 6-pack!!!!!!!!!!!!
its hidden under a 12 pack but its there all the same!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah it is
i promise!!!!!!!!!!
ur crack

karen said...

Animals are way better than people in my eyes.
I'll take your dog!
Your blog is very entertaining.

J R Estelle said...

I'd take your dog too, if I didn't have a Westie of my own and live in a house with a, ready:

1. St. Bernard
2. Golden Retriever - who is old and barks when the wind blows
3. Black Lab
4. Dalmatian - I would never own one of these, way too high maintenance.

Hails said...

My dreams like that are always weird and I never quite understand them.

Kats make me sneeze. I love dogs though.

Hope u have fun at work!

aatank said...

I will never be able to watch the Wiggles the same way. That's just creepy that you sleep with opera and then a gay wiggle in your dreams. HMMMM is your head trying to tell you something? ha ha!!!

We had our house sprayed for those damn lady bug things. With all of the fields around our house they were horrible. But with much joy after $100 and the spray later we had no lady bugs, bees, or spiders around our house this year. They will definitely come back to spray again next year.

The person with cancer on my blog is Erin Hull, her older sister was Gwen. She is in her 3rd week of Chemo and last week her MIL and grandfather passed away. She really needs the prayers this week.

Crashdummie said...

I dunno whether I should feel sorry for you or laugh - cuz sweety, your even starting to get retarded dreams. Sexdream abt Oprah?!?

Buggz, euw... So totally agree with you - everything has its place. You should just add that they should be either outside, underneath your shoes or on your blog...

Its amazing what wonderz lipglos can make!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker,
are u sure it isnt under a 24 pack?..hahah

Kare,
well so far no people in my house have crapped on my floor..peed?..yes..hehe

Jr,
well my kids love the dog, I however can tolerratre her, plus I paid 700 bucks for her, so I guess she has to stay.

Hails,
I would rahter have cats then dogs..or kids..hehe

Aatank,
wait, who said he was gay?..is he relaly gay?..one of my best mates in Aussie said he was the most aviable bachloer downunder..she did tell me the gay bacholer.

Gosh I dont remeber either one of them, but I am sayin a prayer for the family..how sad.

when we lived back in the homeland we had the orkin man come every three months to spray for bugs..I hate spiders...

Crashdummie,
oh these are new dreams, the wiggle dream is a reoccuring one for about 2 years now..

I did say the bugs belong under my shoe..didnt you catch that part?..haha

Carmen said...

Could you use your connections at work today to send a hit for Barney this weekend- I will be seeing him in person. Not sure if I want the hit on me or on Barney yet though!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Carmen,
good lord...your seeing him in person?..ok not only am I praying for you, but consider it done..

I will first put the hit out on him..if they cant get a good shot, I will give them your pic..haha

Badoozie said...

shake n bake girl! first they see you now they won't....

i don't much care for overly white teeth meself. there needs to be a happy medium.

when will you be posting your profile on gobhole hotties? remember, those who don't participate in a timely fashion, I will do it for you?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

suzie,
I will do it..I keep forgetting..I will either do it before work today, or when I get home..ok mother?

and gleaming white teeth outta be outlawed.

Jerry said...

Bossy,
I like your comment about being a sports fan as long as you don't have to see or hear it. I agree. I like the theory of sports, just not the reality.

Working Mom said...

Why can't I have some sex dreams?!

My kitty's 11 and my dog's 5, we keep waiting for the dog to keel over....LOL No really, I love my animals, I'm just a cat person more. I keep trying to talk the hubby into a kitten and he refuses, so I try to talk him into a baby and he still refuses, WTF?!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Jerry,
amen, finally a man who knows something:)

Denise,
oh gosh you dont want a baby...goodness me..i would take a puppy anyday over a baby:)

your kitty is pretty old..i had one live a long time..i think he was 15 when he died..of course i accidnetally ran over him.

yes accidentally:)

Lisa said...

Doesn't Oprah have blazing white teeth too? Or did the gleam of her money make you miss the glare off of her teeth? LMAO

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Lisa,
I cant see anything past the billion dollars:)

~Deb said...

You didn't mention any sex dreams about me, yet you mention Oprah. GAWD I gotta get a better job so you'll start dreaming of me more woman!!!!

Michele_3 said...

I hate ladybugs, we have them really bad here now & I'm cleaning my car like every other day! ENOUGH!
You crack me up about the sex dreams & the wiggle dude! Oh & Oprah too? what have you been eating before bedtime anyways?
Does Mr. shaky pants know this? LOL!


Can never leave the house without my lipgloss- I feel naked without it..
:)

Kristen said...

Oh man you totally have to come to my blog and comment to tell people about this crush! I posted about weird crushes today!

And I have a thing for Sportacus- those arm muscles- the push ups...oh baby! LOL.

Brandy said...

Hope you didnt give the inmates to hard of a time... Ok maybe a really hard time wont kill em...LOL

Sex Dreams... hmmm I cant recall any that I have had... well maybe one or two in my lifetime..hehehehe

BTW I love the Eagles.. exspecially the song you have playing today...

Have a great week!!

no Mr. Wiggles here said...

well a 24 pack prolly is more close to the reality!!!!
js

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

deb,
your on tap for tongiht:)

Michele,
not only does he know, but he is jelous:)

Kristen,
oh yes, sportcus is yummy..i will come over and spell my secert crush..hope noone laughs at me;)

Brandy,
I alwyas give them a hard time! and they love it.

well I hate having sex dreamsn, makes me feel like slut..ok I like it:)

cracker,
haha..your just tellin stories now.

heavy j said...

Moi?
ole honest J?
come on now I'd neva fib
eva
well ok sometimes!
hehe

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker,
can i hook u up to my lie detector?

j said...

i guess that will depend on what your hookin and just where your hookin it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker,
thats top secert.
r u in the lone star state?

j said...

yes ma'am I surely am
why for thou asketh?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I was just wonderin who was hangin out here from there..it did not look familar..I reckon u was in MO yesterday....if I remeber right..

shiverin j said...

Oprah????????????
haaaaaaaaaa
usually i beg for the details but i aint sure about this'n!
acccccckkkkkk

j said...

nope
I was in louisianna
how do you know where the post comes from???
hmmmmmmmmm

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh yes..loiusinanna..that was it...your right..hahaha..

I knew it was one of them..u mighta been in MO one day last week, I think u was there one day.

Oh I magical powers..

naaaw, its my site meter..tells me where everyone lives..

most blogs have them..
:)

j said...

ok cool
just so you know
u have me confused with some other sexy smart wonderful great handsom fella
I aint been in MO is about 3 years!

Them facts are good to know I gotta bewhere of some freaky cyber stalker chick!!!!
I am alluring like that you know!
haaaaaaaaaaa

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

hmm...ok maybe it wasnt MO..I dont remeber what it was then..

but i alwyas know..haha

I have short term memorey loss:)