Friday, October 13, 2006

Oh Sheila part B

So, the saga continues...........

I call my local Applesucks store, they don't fix Ipods, I have to send it in....I have to pay the shipping and whatnot, even though it is still under warranty. which I find totally repulsive.

In order to get the account open to get my Sheila fixed, I had to make a user Id for Apple. My first attempt was applesucks..it was taken
My second attempt was applesucksass....it was taken...notice a theme here, i am not the only one who thinks so..So my last try was applesucksasses...BINGO, that was free.

When I was talking with the man on the applesucks hotline, he made a comment about my id. I told him if apple did not suckass I would not have had to resort to that.

When u first call it is an automated thing, which pisses me off. He says

say the name of the product your having trouble with

i say..IPOD

he says..I think you said MAC 360 sucksdonkeyballs

I say NO

He says, I am sorry I did not understand you, did u say Apple whateverbutiamsureitsucks

I say..NO

then I am put on hold...and I am listening to freaking Spanish music.

I spend the whole day trying to figure out how to get Sheila fixed. After a few strongly worded emails to my good friends at Apple...I think Sheila may be on the road to recovery. They are sending me a box, I will ship her, they will fix her.

It says on the website that if my Ipod should need to be replaced, they would do so, but it may be with a "refurbished ipod" I told my good friend on the phone that if they even so much as think of sending me a used Ipod, not only will I come there with a pellet gun and shoot everyone in the ass, but I will also come equipped with a paint gun, apples are red and green, and those would be the colors I would be bringing with me.

I told him I did not pay 400 bucks for my crap to break, then for them to send me a used one..I said and I quote

"that would be a dreadful mistake on your part to send me a used one, just consider that a warning...not a threat per say, but it is a verbal warning, and I will be giving it to you in writing as well"

to which he said..

" yes mam"

So here is Sheila...























She is going to the Ipod doc soon, and she better not be replaced with a phony.

~
This is one reaosn I am so pissed off...
















See that....it is snow, and snow sucks, and it kills. Kinda like crack. Not only is snow cold, but it is slippery and wet. And in order for it to snow, it has to be freak butt cold outside. And I don't like freak butts, or cold. Get my drift?


And this is what happens when u let your 3 year old pick her own clothes out..





















Yes that is a tie dyed shirt..she did make it herself....and those are paisley print pants.

So this has been my week in a nutshell, lets recap

*Sheila dies

*it snows

*I am informed I am full of Bactria and that is why i smell

*have to make threatening calls to apple and waste my time

*i learn we fart 14 times a day, not me, but everyone else

*Oprah thinks she is God, but really is only a disciple of the "i think I am God" club

* my spell check does not work

*Sheila dies, I am her only advocate, I try and get her help

* I threat bodily harm

* I call a lady about altering my dress for the wedding, and I get no call back..so I am going to drive half our out of my way to have it done..

*I want to make a tanning appt for 6pm. She says they are open till then, but the last appt so far is at 4, and she does not want to have someone sitting there for 2 hours, with no appts..to which I say, isnt that thier job?

only a few more weeks untill this wedding I am in. The wedding of my dad and the nice young gal who is way younger then me, and the sister of a gal I graduated with. Life is funny. Oh my dad surgery went well, he is off work for 3 weeks, got his staples out the other day. They did not kill him.

Man, a kid just walked into my house again looking for Blondie Bee. Who raises thier kids to just walk into someones house? I am gonna be putting a pellet gun on the back stoop, and start shooting these kids as they feel free to come into my hive. Maybe a good shoot in the bum will keep them at bay.

So this is my first weekend Sheila free. It may be too much for me to bare.

Please send your condlences to

5432 applesucks Blv.

Minneapolis , Mn

55555

No rules for the weekend, I dont care what ya do....knock yoursleves out and go ahead and get loaded on the courthouse lawn.

Good day mates

Bee real

67 comments:

deni said...

Don't you just HATE those automatic phone things, I always want to smash the phone against someone's head when I get those. What ever happened to talking to freakin real people?

Boo Bee looks cute, when my Pookie was little she would dress like that, we called her the 'bag lady', and if you told her it didn't match, she would say, 'Yes, it does, Look, they both have PINK in them!' Who can argue that logic?

She is 23 and a mother herself and she still dresses like that. Hey at least she's original.

Working Mom said...

Am I gonna have to send a cake with a file in it to you soon? Sounds like you're gonna go postal on them!

Your little Boo is so dang cute! Even if she doesn't match :)

Working Mom said...

Oh and I wanna visit and see the snow!

Angie said...

Good Lord Almighty your life is sucking at the moment, you better speed that summer date up to next week and take a long vacation somewhere warm without snow, somewhere that will take your mind off of Sheila and those nasty apple people, somewhere there are no guns within reach.....I know, come visit me!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Deni,
I know, I wanna just rip somones head off when i hear those automated things.

oh gosh, your pookie sounds like me:)

Denise,
I like chocolate..

and snow sucks.

Angie,
oh if I could I would, trust me.

I need some sunshine that does not come in the form of a bed and light bulbs:)

Blazer1234 said...

Bossy - you're not the only soul out there that thinks apple sucks ass. Tonight on the "Don't waste your money" segment of the news, they are going to cover why people are complaining about ipods and why they suck, and that they are all breaking and can't get help. So naturally, i thought of you. You are not alone. Hopefully apple will kiss your ass, and either repair Shelia OR send you a brand spankin' new one. I'm pullin' for ya. Hope you survive the weekend without her.

novaks8 said...

that sucks.

I drove over to go with my daughter to Best Buy today and we met with the Geek from Geek Squad who was very nice but apparently not geeky enough.

Then she called the hotline and spoke to a foreign man that we were laughing at but guess what?

Whatever he had her do to the computer fixed it over the phone!

I was astonished!

Good luck!

Peggy said...

why in the h*ll do you live in MN where it snows more than not if you hate snow and cold??? Just trade places with me cause I love the snow.... you will have to milk the goat and feed the chickens, etc though cause I don't think your neighbors there would let me keep them. The animals do behave better than some of your neighborhood kids though! LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Blazer,
so I am not cray then?..man I wish I coulda seen that news segment..I am still fuming..

Mary,
well they tried having me to crap over the phone, I told them i was having none of that:)

Peggy,
in a heart beat..you take my kids, and my house and snow, i will take your farm the goats and the mild winters:)

beth said...

Oh! I had something so funny and clever in mind to say in this comment, but then the kids interupted me and the phone rang and man! I can't remember. I am not getting old!! I hope. well, happy tanning, take deep breaths while Sheila is in surgery and recovery, hopefully it could still warm up a tad and don't forget yellow, apples are yellow, too.

Karitown said...

Kids are sooooo cute. My daughter is turning four and she not only tries to pick her own clothes out, she tries to pick mine out. Too funny.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Beth,
kids are a pain..

oh yes..yellow..i forgot about yellow..thank you;)

Karitown,
my 6 year old tries to dress everyone..

and the three year old likes to do my hair:)

vani said...

sorry about sheila. they'd better fix her up real good...isn't that crap? they want so much for those suckers...mine broke down twice already and i had to talk to a tech nerd guy who made me feel stupid by asking me questions i didnt have the answers to..lol. i was like "i don't know! it just won't turn on!"

and i love the tie dye on boo bee. :)

d said...

Oh Bossy, you are the funniest person I know. I am in tears here.

Good job girl, Applesucks won't be messing with you.

Mrs. Diamond said...

oh i am so sorry about sheila. :(

and snow...yeah we got it too. I am NOT happy about that.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

vani,
well i am glad i am not the only one who has had issues..they make u feel like a dumb shit when u call...i hate them

d,
surly u have more friends then that, i cant be the funniest..but i am..hotdamn i say:)

i love ya girl...and u always make my day when i see you..

Mrs d,
thank you, i hope sheila comes ut of this in one piece:)

Brandy said...

Keeping my fingers crossed that they get Shelia back to you in one piece or You get a brand new one.

One thing that my hubby would agree with you on is those stupid machines that answer the damn phones for those companies and then you get retarded people who dont know crap about anyting. (you do know this paragraph should be read before the previous one.. I am too lazy to switch it..lol)

Hey at least she dressed herself.. There is some kids out there that wont even attempt to do that. Besides I think she is adorable!!

YAY!! Snow!! heheheh!! We got some of that good white stuff too!!LOL Ok I will stop with the happy stuff about snow now!! LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Brandy,
those stupid machines piss me off..

i cant belive u like snow?..were u dropped on your head as baby?

well i hope they dont snd me a new one, i hope they send me back sheila..otherwise i have to download all that crap again..ya see what I mean.

LittleJen said...

Gday, Hope you get shiela fixed I know whats its like to purchase and for the good not to be up to scratch.. it sucks.

Karin said...

I am sorry that apple sucks, but trust me the repairs for her are a lot less painful then the money we are about to shell out cause MINI sucks. I hope your weekend goes well and that you make it through without having to become roomates with the people you work with. Boo is so cute all miss matched and with kitten. I think her and the kitten have made each other best friends.

JUST A MOM said...

ok first question,,, are them toys in your yard the wee little doll house ones cause they reallly look small.
Then I wuod please like to have some of the white stuff in my yard PLEASE!!!!
Oh hell I forgot the 3rd question so try and enjoy your weekend oh and you have a LOVLEY LITTLE BEE THERE!

Princess said...

Hi Bossy!
Im sorry i havent been around. But i will be back soon.
I cant wait to catch up on your posts.
Dont forget me!!

xoxo

dakotablueeyes said...

More people might have jobs if they would do away with stupid automated crapass system. I hate that dam stuff. I hate it when I have to speak the info too cause you know whatever you say the computer is going to say I thought you said.....

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

liljen,
hoefully she will be on the road to recovery soon:)

Karin,
what is MINI?

Just a Mom,
yes it is a small house, complete with a sink, phone and door..haha..u want the white stuff, then i will trade u places;)

Princess,
never could forget youo:)

Dakota

amen sista.

The Kept Woman said...

So hey, I've been thinking about getting an MP3 player and I've heard that the iPods are great...what do you think?

just_tammy said...

Hubby taught me a trick for when you don't feel like playing with the automated system. You just pound away on the operator button and you get a real live person much faster. It's been working for me since their way sure as heck doesn't.

Since you won't have Sheila for the weekend, you might want to try going around with a boom box on your shoulder. Just alternate shoulders for an additional workout.

Boo has a certain way with clothes. I know my Boo could wear a trash bag and look great. Some have all the luck.

Try to have a great weekend. Here's to hoping Sheila has a speedy recovery. Tell Apple (love your login by the way) you'll know if they send a Stella instead.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

TKW,
r u trying to start a fight?
;)

Tammy,
well I had known that about the automatied thing..and I was pushing 0, only probelm was that damn gyuy kept talking..

gosh i dont even own a boom box anymore, I am gonna have to carry aorund my compter or the stero..adn that wouldnt be pretty.

applesucksasses:)

Blazer1234 said...

Bossy - here is a link to the report on the news last night about ipods. Of course, I'm sure you could have added to it...

http://www.wcpo.com/wcpo/localshows/dontwasteyourmoney/312e43c2.html

Choppzs said...

See what happens on Friday the 13th?? This day is cursed. My day started out great too. I haven't slept since 1230 this morning. Baby decided he wanted to party hardy all morning! Terd.

And yes, I hate automated things too. Drive me insane. Especially when they play gay music during your hold time. Ughh! I say go for it and get that pellet gun out. While you're at it, could you shoot a few here this way and get my landlord, Girly's soccer coach, and that damn dog that keeps shitting in my yard?? Umm thanks in advance!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

blazer,
thank for the link, i am so gonna check that out.

Chopzzs,
oh boy...consider it done:)

js said...

Well you tickled the shit outta me again!!
the auto phone does suckass its a friggin miricle you got someone who even remotely spoke english when you did get a human.
don't shoot the lil children, shoot their parents who didn't teach them manners
I have a remedy other than getting hammerd, frolick naked in the snow!
that should make you feel better
or just make you cold as hell maybe making you ferget the trials of this week!
hope your weekend is better
oh yeah High 5 to your dad!
go boy
you da man!!!!!!!!
j

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker,
frolicking in the snow nekkid, would only cause to piss me off more:)

oh and my box came today..i just called yesterday at 3..my box was here at 10 am..applesucksass knows I mean business..

shooting the parents , very wise advice..thank you:)

~Deb said...

A refurbished iPod? Oh no. I don't give a rat's ass if they say that it's only a small nick and dent on the side-- but it doesn't affect it at all. We have this store (SONY) near us that sells refurbished stuff. Let me tell you that the products die within two months! Don't do it!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Deb,
well I have told the guy over the phone and when I send shiela in..i am writting a handwritten note that she best not be replaced with a phony..

damn!

Badoozie said...

oh my, it seems i am a little late for my motivational speech.....i will prepare one and attempt to cheer you up some....i recommend going and purchasing an ipod from your nearest costco, then when sheila comes home, return the other one for a full refund....just do it. don't sass me.

and i see that you are making numerous references to guns, albiet pellet guns, guns none the less, and i'm pretty sure you are anti guns? might i recommend some good "mindful based stress reduction" therapy? thats where you make up your mind that you will not kill anyone, and instead only maim them badly...try it.

Jewl said...

When I get those automatic fake piece of shit voice things I just keep saying Fuck you until a get a human dumb ass.
I haven't let Em pick her own clothes out yet because we live on a military base and I don't want people to think my husband is totally retarted.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

suzie,
as a matter of fact, I am anti gun..i dont even let the bees play with fake ones..BUT..i am all for leppt guns so I can pop them guys at apple in the ass...care to join me..

Jewl,
no worries here, the whole neighborhood knows we are all retarded;)

j said...

Well I am a hellova sight wiser than I look!
No naked snow frolick for you then. I guess the suckassers knew you meant bizness, atta girl!
When my 8 track tears up I just pull the truck its in (the truck doesn't run but I sit outside and listen to the 8 tracks sometimes) down to the service station and Cooter comes out and fixes it right up!
js

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker,
now your tickeling my shit up..your a hoot..

so who is this cooter you speak of?..haha

js said...

Cooter?
Well down here cooter has several different meanings.
We eat cooter stew.
A cooter is a turtle.
Cooter of course is a nickname for the female part that we enjoy participating in.
And Cooter is the dude that doesn't ever get the grease stains out of his clothes, has a red rag hanging from his pocket and was the station attendent on the Dukes of Hazzard(which of course had the object of the first lustful thoughts ever mid 30's men ever had as well as sparked the clothing trend I enjoy most!)
Cracker likesssss the chicks with the Daisy Dukes on!!!!!

Glad I could tickle you
but get your game face back on before writing the letter that will go with Shelia to the assheadedfucktards at apple
Cracker

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cracker,
oh man, that word has many meanings huh?..damn..I once got wrote up in beauty school for wearing daisy dukes..I was 20 and was not fat then..

oh I got my letter all wrote out..it is damn good to. I put it in the box next to sheila...they wont see that one comin;)

j said...

Yes cooter is a word with many meanings!

you get them assheads at apple
go girl
never say die
win one for the gipper
go get em
eye of the tiger!


Send all Daisy duke pics!!!!!!!
We love Daisy Dukes
oh yeah
please stop smoking crack before blogging
it causes you to write insane ludicrous things like "I was 20 and not fat then"
if you in anyway are implying you are fat now thats just crazy
js

Laura Elizabeth said...

Don't complain about a dusting of snow Miz Bossy. Buffalo got TWO FEET of snow.

If I prayed, I'd pray for your Ipod and it's speedy recovery.

Sadly, I don't pray.

I did google "prayers for electronic equipment". Nothing

Then I googled "prayers for dead ipods" and came up with http://www.macaddict.com/forums/topic/52822/2 and http://theconfessionator.blogspot.com/

"dead ipods" got me http://www.ipoding.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=630 and http://www.mcelhearn.com/article.php?story=20060628112207744

FWIW, and it's of no help to you now, Apple's have always sucked. They're only good as boat anchors.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cracker,
sadly there are no pics of the daisy dukes..the world will suffer now, i know this:)

crack is wack cracker, no smokin here;)

Laura,
oh gosh 2 feet? r u kiding me?..damn..

well thanks for the link..I am gonna have to check that out..I need to know the exact prayer I need to say..

and yes apples to suck...like boat anchors..hehe

j said...

well damn
thats my loss then if no DD pics are available
I'm glad you kicked your crack habit too!!
ha
Well don't frolick naked in the snow
don't shoot any kiuds or apple employees
don't pretend ur fat
dont go batshit crazy on the flunkie who answers the apple tech line.
Remember Cooter
and a fanfriggingtastic weekend
The Ultimate Cracker

just_tammy said...

Guess if pounding the 'O' button doesn't work, FU sounds like a good plan. In your case, applesucksasses might be the way to go. They are sucking up if the box is already in your hot little hands.

Do you want our sleds for the weekend? Just a bit of frost here.

Did your hubby have a thing for the Archie's? That's the only Veronica I can even think of. Maybe you could call her Ronnie. Maybe you should just rename the poor kitten.

Try to have a much better weekend than week. Loved the pictures. Thanks!

Gette said...

I wish your ipod's name was Sherry. I could stand to hear some Journey.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker,
no dd when i was 20....they were like negative A's:)

Tammy,
Ronnie?..u gots to be joking..

yes i got my box..i put in my nicley worded letter, that if they send me a used ipod, shit would indeed be hitting THIER fan:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Gette,
Sherry?..remninds me of a scummy girl in school, sorry dude cant do it:)

I am gonna eb seeing joureny next week. Unfornatly they are the warm up band for def leppard..and they sucked in July, so I am sure they will suck this time..

Oh Sheila:)

Amanda said...

Seems like the automatic phone thingies are taking over. Not only does my doctors office use them but so does my hair salon..wtf is that about..are people getting to lazy to talk on the damn phone??...Boo Bee is absolutely adorable and..she matches the kitten!

Memphis Steve said...

I love your description of how the hotline went. That's just too good. I always love it when they ask me what language I want. And even better when they ignore my answer and give me Spanish crap. Do they have the worst music, or what? Who still plays accordions, anyway? Even the French aren't overly fond of them anymore.

Marel Lecone said...

You truly are a nut! But, I love reading your rants. :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Amanda,
I know what u mean..they have one at my tanning salon, docs office, the school my kids go to..holy crap its everywhere, overtaking the world:)..hate it with a passion.

Memphis Steve,
Oh dont get me strated on the music..Lordy do I have many stories to share on that one..that no one wants to hear I am sure;

Marel,
you no u love me..admit it:)



oh in case anyone is wondering why Iampositng at one thiry am...its cuz i am working..pretty soon the, unbeknonest to my boss, I will be getting paid quite nicly for sleeping on this nie soft sofa..

I am glad the crazy peoplesleep all night;)

God bless the crazies:-)

Meow said...

Aawwww, Bossy, poor Sheila. I'm sure she's gonna be fine. I don't know about you, though ... all this time without her will be difficult. Hope you don't get withdrawal symptoms too badly !! Might have to dig out the old CD Walkman in the interim, until Sheila returns to you. Did you mark her in any particular way, so you know whether it's really her or not when she returns ?? Hope she comes back soon.
Love your photos of your bees ... they are just gorgeous looking kiddlies !!
Take care, don't be too sad.
Meow

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Meow,
oh not worry,Sheila has many birthmarks..she has fallen in the road, in the lake, on the treadmill..i have stepped on her..the boo bee has sat on her..sheila has cits and knicks, and scarthces all about...her momma will know if its the real sheila when she comes home:)

Cliff Morrow said...

I've found that if you are talking to an automated question deal that the best thing to do is get mad, hit 47 buttons in about 3 seconds and slam the phone down....it won't do any good but you'll feel better.

Tee said...

This is why I bought a no name brand mp3 player. It's never broken down - and if it does, well, it was only $30. LOL.

Apple sucks :p I'm so sorry you have to put up with all that.

Carmen said...

Thought about you last night as I was watching 20/20 on the tele. It was about the impact of the internet (blogs, utube) on businesses and products! I hope they get Shiela working for yeah! I feel your pain!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cliff,
yes I have done that beofre...it does make u feel better..but then after that wears off your pissed again:)

Tee,
30 bukcs?..damn woman...I feel so retared now.

Carmen,
I wanted to watch 20/20 and forgot. I got my Sheila in her box, and she is ready to be shipped. I am mad, I am pissed, but what the hell can I do?..

u really need to start writing a blog...your regsitered here, now get your ass writing something..dont make me come there and write the shit for you, cuz I will.

Well, speaking of writing, I need to get busy, Iwont be getting paid if I dont write some shit now..Have to have it submitted by Tuesday and it aint looking so good.

mal said...

poor Sheila *sniff* *sob*

we only fart 14 times a day? Gee, that seems a bit low to me.......

JUST A MOM said...

HOLLYCOW 60 SEE YOUR GOOD!!!! SO ARE YA DRIVIN DOWN TO THE MOTOR CITY???????

AT FLIGHT RIGHT NOW WILL COST ME,,,,,Round-trip Flight
+ 7 Nights Hotel
$433 per person
$433 Total
View Details
ADD to my Fare Watcher $718 per person
Based on double occupancy
THINK I AM STAYING HOME...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

mal,
so how many times a day do u pass gas?..haha

Just a mom,
oh this is a slow day...sometimes people like me, sometimes they hate..this is a mix of both i guess.

nope stayin home..i have to drive there next month for my dads wedding..or i would so try and go..and what the hell, your not suppose to take everyone,just yourslef..haha

Annie said...

Hi...my first time on your blog and I gotta ask...how the **bleep** do I turn off that blasted music that turns on and keeps playing the moment I come in here???? Nice blog -- except for that. Clue me in, okay? Love your blog name.

Nerdine said...

I actually LIKE snow (don't come shooting me with that pellets gun, now..) But then - I couldn't really live happily in Norway if I didn't.

I went and bought a new mp3 player. Not the one I was talking about, but a little brother. 8GB storage - I have 1500 songs on there and I still have 1.5GB left to fill. I can't imagine I'll ever need any more storage...

I'll pray for little Sheila..

Hails said...

i hope they fix sheila and for the love of god do not send u a used ipod as a replacement. Apple needs a big kick up their big apple arse I say. I cracked up when I read what ur new user id is on their site. CLASSIC!

You rock womman, stand by ur guns and do not give in!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Annie,
just scroll to the bottom and push ths top button..easy fix:)

thanks for stopping by ..please come again...i know many are not a fan of the music..

after this week I am not putting on for a while..starting monday is the start of my def leppard week..i meet them next weekend, after that I am taking a break from the tunes on here:)

Nerdine
dontt ell me u just said u liuke snow?..oh hell no.

i am thinking ikf shoulda just got an mp3 player, i am stupid.

Hails,
trust me, if she dont come back brand new or the same as i left her, trouble will be brewing at the apple store:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh ANNIE...

i just tried to leave a comment on your blog...but you have it setwhere only team memebers of the blog can comment.not sure if u mean to do that, but no one will be able to comment on your blog unless u fix the setting..i wasnt not sure if u knew it was set that way..