Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Warrior

I am not a planner. I think about doing something and BAM, I am doin it. That is not to say that after I had begun doing some things, I wish I had thought better about it before doing so. But that's who I am. I am a fly by the seat of my ass crack kinda gal . And I prefer it that way.

My son on the other hand , is a planner.I am not sure where he gets it from. His father is NOT a planner either. But my dear sweet turd of a son, does not plan things that are useful ...persay.

Sure he likes to have his school clothes laid out the night before. He is a dweeb that way. Me? I dig for something to put on after my shower and sometimes I have nothing clean. So that's always a problem.

Anyhoo, I came across something this weekend. I found a notebook under my sofa. Like it was its secret hiding place. On the cover of said notebook was wrote in my sons handwriting..

butchs, plot to get ..."insert lil girls name here" We need a victory to take her down

.Now this is the same kid who has a record at school for threatening to "take someone down" when they were playing star wars last year. This boy is the most harmless gent I know. Other then beating the crap out of his sister, he is a good boy..Oh and pissing on my floor..Other then that he is A ok.

On the inside it said this..And I quote.

Day 1



We will take down "lil girl" . First me and Jon will surround "lil girl" and I will try to call ugly kid and other neighbor kid and see if they are ready to help. Then I will tackle "lil girl" and dog pile on her

.And he has a nice graphic of where all said parties will be standing.

It seems his plans to dog pile a 9 year old girl, is more thought out then the presidents war. George needs to take some lesson here from a 4th grader. See he has plans..He has it mapped out....That's how you do things dude. You need a plan. George is not a planner as I am not. I shriek at the thought we have something in common


My Boo Bee was putting a pillowcase over her head pretending she was a ghost. I said to her..Your scaring me, I don't like seeing a ghost..

she says "no momma, I not a ghost, look its just me..Look momma its me"

Now tell me this is not the face of a girl who will ride the short bus to school.

That is one goofy looking kid..And I admit that. Do most parents admit if their kids are ugly or retarded?..Well I do both..That's how damn much I love thruthiness.

Then she laid her head on the couch, looked at me and said

I not tired momma, I just westing my hair here.


At work I was delivering mail to the end where I normally don't work. I walk in and they start whislting at me. One asked me if I was married. I told him that was not any of his business, and he needed to treat me with respect and if I heard whislting or harassing of any other officer, there would be trouble.

He then said I was hot, and he could not help it.

I then told him " you don't get out much ehh?"

to which he said.." Um, dude, look where I am at, I have not been outside in 3 months."

Touchette my young criminal friend..touchette indeed

Again this is a case where I don't think before I speak. I really need a representative or a speech writer.


I think my Blondie Bee beat up her friend today. To make a long story short...She called me from a strangers house because she was scared to walk home. He little girls mother was giving her quite a scolding from what the other kids said. They all said they were playing tag and that Blondie " tagged" her and tapped her gently.

I don't know but she is in the witness protection program for first graders now.

The sad thing is, I am afraid that one day I will be delivering my kids their pysco meds at the county lock up.

Bee Real


js said...

i spit my crown and diet pepsi all over the friggin screen
the short bus comment
shes a long way from ugly shes pretty asa speckled pup.
You could really torture those dudes in the pokie
haaaaaaaaaaaa@short bus!
I also don't do clothes lay out, I do the blind grab. Since there are no britches in the closet cept jeans and on one side of them are the t-shirts and the other the button shirts I just grab, everything matches jeans
ole haaaaaaaaaa J

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

so you think its funny she is gonna take the short bus huh?

The Kept Woman said...

Hopy shit. I'm third. I've never been this close to the top!!!

Anyway...I am cracking the hell up about the plotting out the war not being as well thought out as the How To Get the Girl Plan. I mean seriously, being the President is hard work.

(SNL referenece there)

I used to lay my clothes out the night before but ONLY because if I didn't I would lay in bed and contemplate what to wear and I'd spend so long doing that that I would then fall asleep again. Proactive choice, my friend. Like so I could keep my job n' stuff...

vani said...

your bees are so adorable! your little one is growing so fast. :)

j said...

shes much to purty to be a short busser
but i did spit alllllllll over my screen!

Blazer1234 said...

Hmmmm...Bees plotting to take down and tapping. The little girls in your hood must be some real biatches if your kids are trying to take them all out.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes being the president is hard work..takes lots of gusto to choke on a pretzel:)


thank you sweety;)

just cuz ya gots beauty dont mean ya got brains:)

Brandy said...

Gotta love them boys!! That sounds like something my son would do.. Only he would be to afraid to pull it off. Afraid of what You ask??? Me of course!! LOL

You have a beautiful children and I dont think any of them will wind up in the county jail.. exspecially if your son is that good of planning things out!! LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes being the president is hard work..takes lots of gusto to choke on a pretzel:)


thank you sweety;)

just cuz ya gots beauty dont mean ya got brains:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well I think it appears my daughter is the Biotch of the hood:)

thank you..but I still think they will wind up in jail..hehe

j said...

well maybe not a brainiac but there are very few chicks featured on the Budwieser calender that ride the short bus!

mike said...

These bees of yours sound pretty aggressive this week. Butch bee could teach ole GW a thing or two it sounds like.

Gette said...

Ole J- Crown and Diet? You must be a flippin' redneck to ruin Crown that way.

Bossy, you win. My kids just draw comics. In class.

CRJ said...

yes dear I surely am and I wonder everyday why anyone with a chooice isnt!!!!!! I'm a cracker too as you have read.
Don't be pissy with us "heavy" "fluffy" people.
ole cracker red j

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well I dont think any of them broads on your calander are half as smalrt as I think I am..hehe

yes aggresive indeed..and I do think he could teach dubya a thing or two:)

heck my son was making comic books in Kindergaden..hehe

and ole crakcer likes to drink his deit coke and royal cown with his wranlgers on the floor;)

Autummn said...

What an adorable nutcase!

j said...

ios there a problem with wranglerless crown and diet drinkin?????
I didnt have that rule in the 'neck handbook

Marel Lecone said...

Who knew that your kids were to be so feared? I know that I'm scared. :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

nutjobs come in all forms, mine are pre toilet trained:)

nope...nuttin wrong with fact, I doubt there is a handbook. that is something you could devise while your sippin your crown and DC:)

truth be too:-)

j said...

hell most of us 'necks caint read anyway
wer huked ohn foniks, it wurked fer me!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i would pay for the hooked on whateverthehell it is..if i could get a twang like you.

j said...

nah you wouldn't
its only sexy when we whisper it........

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

hmm...when people whisper I cant hear anyway..

wow, that was really intersting..i read the whole thing..

so i ask you u have a whip to crack?

dont u ever sleep crakcer?

Anonymous said...

that is too funny.

Scary, yet funny.

I remember getting in trouble in 8th grade for playing "War"

It was boys against girls and we were kicking some serious ass!

I don't remember what we did to each other but it was cruel I am sure.

crackin whipper said...

didnt it say in the cracker handbook that we didnt need sleep?
I do try to knock down a couple of hours a night. I have no schedule so I dont have to get up. And yes of course I can crack a whip. DUH!!
just so you know when I do sleep I never dream of Okra or Mr. Wiggly

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

scary yes..funny..hell yes:)

ok you will prolly dream bout your budwiser girls or someting more creepy like ellen..degenress, not my dog..

i am assuming your wife is a hottie, so i assume she will be in your dreams:-)

Jewl said...

I'll have to remember that one " I am not tired, I am resting my hair"... I wonder if that works...

Anonymous said...

your little bee is adorable hun.

as for your son - Im sure he would make a better president then george anyways.

Working Mom said...

LMAO over Butch's plan! I loves it!! He's a riot.

And your Boo is adorable. Leave her alone dang it :)

Blondie, I may be scared of. She's a tough little cookie...LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

its Westing your hair...only wya it will work is if you say it that way:)

well anyone would be better then the real george I do declare;)

I know, Blondie kida creeps me out too..her and her bad ass self..

j said...

i never 'member my dreams
of course I think shes a hottie, who the hell would marry someone they didnt think wasa hottie??

Angie said...

Dang, I wouldn't have put your kids in the "reason why are kids won't go to public school" category, but now I know....thanks for the heads up ;)

Angie said...

Dang, I wouldn't have put your kids in the "reason why are kids won't go to public school" category, but now I know....thanks for the heads up ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I did not figure you would marry an ugly:)

yes...but at least they dont carry weapons..

just dogpiling girls and hitting to hard durring tag...


Gette said...

If'n you wanna ruin some Crown, OleJ, try shooting it with Buttershots. It's got a really repulsive name, but we bartender gals around here call it a Shift Change, 'cause that's what we do at closin' time. I'm not pissy, jus' opinionated!

Bossy, I'll bet they were very well organized comicbooks, too!

Angie said...

true true....give it a couple of years though ;)

~Deb said...

Wow........sounds like me when I was little plotting the 3 o'clock 'kick her ass after school' type of deal. What a bully I was!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

just so you know, I did get your email, I just forgot to write you week far anyway..

oh wait, so your saying my kids are gonna be pistol packers?

OMG...I totally think we are soul mates..i did the same thing too:)

Jay said...

Does this little girl actually exist, or is this some new kind of game that I don't know about?

The Blog Whore said...

Shut up!

That baby is adorable.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes the girl does exisit...I have seen her:)

Blog Hwore,
oh shut up:)

j said...

I sure hope every married person thinks their spouse does ok at least!!!

female girl woman bartender huh?
id have to see if you were a gambler.......

Gette said...

All our current 'tenders are female. I think we skeert all the menfolk off...

j said...

I have absofuckinlutely no fear

Kendra Lynn said...

LOL...your kids crack me up...Butch better watch out or he's going to get himself beat up by a girl.
I bet she won't put up with being dog-piled by a bunch of siree.
Boo is adorable. As always.

Westing her it.


p.s. Merry told some lady in the checkout lane today that God named her merry.
The whole line of people went, "Awww...".
If only they knew her true personality.