Friday, December 02, 2005

Why I love my granny bird...

Today I called ole granny bird. I try to call her once a week if I don't hear from her. Today when we were conversing we got to talking about the Barbara Walters special with the most fascinating people of the year. Neither one of us watched the end so we did not know who the winner was.

She then proceeded to tell me that she purposely didn't watch it cause Tom Cruise was on it. And she can not stand him I guess..

Granny Bird: " I just don't get him, he isn't even that handsome"

Me: " I use to think he was cute until he turned into a creepy as$ mo-fo"

GB: " why on Earth he don't marry that girl that he got pregnant is beyond me, he just loves em and leaves them hanging"

Me: " leaves them hanging? He was married to that pasty girl for over 10 years"

GB: " He is nothing but A.....A...He is nothing but a shrimp, he is a little shrimp!"

GB: " And hopefully this marriage wont end up like that Kenny Chesney. I heard she says he was gay"

ME: " yes , I heard that too, she filed for an annulment, must mean they didn't do it"

GB: " well if he didn't feel like having sex with her, he should of tried some vitamin C pills or something"

I have no idea what the correlation between vitamin C and wanting to have sex is, but granny bird seems to think there is a link...And trust me..I did not go into why she thought this medical cocktail was going to help....If the guy is gay, I don't think a glass of OJ is gonna do the trick.

I have this friend named Tammy. She has been my "best friend" since about 1988. My granny bird would ask me all the time if Tammy had a boyfriend. And for years I would say.." Nope not yet"

Finally after about 10 years of diverting the question...I said " No, she is a Lesbian for Gods sake, she will never have a boyfriend"

" Oh, is that why she keeps her hair short?"


Kissing spawn gets all pissed off today because I tell him to study for his vocabulary test and to put his dirty clothes down the laundry shoot. To which he replies

" So, can I sleep tonight?"

" um, I was kind of hoping you would, why do you ask?"

" well by the time I do all this stuff, it will definitely be too late to sleep, all your good at doing is wrecking my life"

" that's my job honey"


ok, I know she is my honey, but Oprah kind of pissed me off...

I was watching her show yesterday and it was about Ethpoian women who get fustula during childbirth...( It is a hole that developes and causes bladder leaking and bad odor)

So instead of donating a few million dollars to fight the cause, she gives them all designer purses with 100 bucks in it, and new clothes....

hello Oprah, these poor women reek of urine, are kept locked in sheds and shunned by their husbands. Have no food to feed themselves or their families, and one in 14 dies during childbirth and have their first stillborn child by the age of 10.....I would definitely say they need a purse and a lipstick..Kudos Oprah..Job well done sweetie!!

our hello hotties today are

Harry Connick JR

and jenny McCarthy

have a Happy Friday and a wonderful weekend



Mandi said...

The first one to comment?? Must be because it's 4 AM!!! My grandma is the same way with OJ, it'll fix anything from a broken arm to a broken heart!! LOL!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

4am? are you crazy woman??

gotta love grannies, they have the cure for everything:)

Working Mom said...

I missed that show. I would've definately watched if I'd known it was on. Dang it!

What's up with that Oprah thing? That's absolutely ridiculous!

I looove Harry Connick Jr! Hubby thinks I'm weird cause I think he's so sexy!

novaks8 said...

Yeah if I had the money Oprah had I think I would be able to do more with it.

You know what though?
I bet that stuff was donated by the companies who make it.

Those stories are sad.

Damn I am PROUD AND THANKFUL to be American!

Harry Connick Jr

I have loved him for 15 years!
Back when no one knew who he was and laughed at me for liking "old people's music"

And Jenny?
She is the hottest chick around.
She is SO FUNNY too!


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

denise,Oprah thinks she damn humaniatrian then gives them purses..makes no sence huh!!

I think he is megga sexy!!

Novak,i agree..but there are some Americans who live like that too..why isnt she helping them??

I have had it for Harry Connick since When Harry met Sally..LOL

Peanutt said...

GB is funny!
Harry Connick Jr. sure can sing!!!Have a great friday!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

peanut, yeah she is..and yes he can:)

The Blog Whore said...

LMAO at your granny conversation.

Are you SERIOUS? Did Oprah really give them handbags? Was it like "Here, hope this helps your messed up twat?"

Working Mom said...

Just had to say...loved him in Hope Floats too!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Theressa, LMAO!! ony you could come out with a stament like that..You crack me up!!

Denise, I have never seen that movie, but I did like him when he was on Will and Grace;)

Melis said...

Hey... maybe the OJ would work with GM for ya girly... might wanna check into that more before ya write it off! LOL

Oprah... hmmmmm.. where the hell did she come up with THAT shit?! Geesh!

HH's... not too shabby today, but not as high ranking on my list as the past few.

pack of 2 said...

Did you watch Oprah on Letterman last night?

Jenny McCarthy is soooo fucking hot. Do you remember when she was on "Singled Out"? We used to stay up all night to watch her.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Melis, ya no, I never thought about that!! Maybe there is hope for me and George yet:) I will keep u posted

Angie, I use to love singled out!!

I did watch it, and Dave was wonderful!! But I found it very troubleing that Oprah was almost testing him on wether he reads to his when she said " what was your favoite book" " what ones do u read"

Back off sista!!

that is what I thought anyway

Angel Girl said...

" Oh, is that why she keeps her hair short?"

OMG I almost spit out my drink when I read that! Apparently lesbians are the only ones allowed to keep their hair short these days! Phew.. good thing for me then! lol

pack of 2 said...

I noticed her testing also. Asking him stuff to see if he really knew the books that she had sent Harry. I thought that Dave handled it all really well.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well according to my granny bird its a sure sign...and this frined of mine is very butch..i mean her head is shaved...LOL..and when granny bird sees her and her " freind" at the store..she says " it looks like tammy was with a man..i am like...that is her woman granny bird!!

Angie, he handled it very well...dave is such a wonderful host...i loves him:)

Jamie Dawn said...

Your Granny Bird is a real hoot!!
I can't even begin to imagine needing a boob reduction. Now, a butt reduction, I don't need to imagine.

pack of 2 said...

ooooh...I love jenny McCarthy...she is hot!

I drink OJ & it has never made me straight THANK GOD...LOL.


momma of 2 said...

Didn't you know a designer purse with $100 will cure just about anything?

LOL about Granny... gotta love 'em.

I adore Harry Connick Jr!

Damn the one night I go to bed before 10 pm and Oprah was on David Letterman - you have got to be F'in kidding me? I can't believe I missed that...

Marel Lecone said...

OK. I must confess that I'm not that into Oprah. I admire her for her charity work. Completely. She makes so so much money so I'm glad that she is able to give so much. I guess I just wish that we could make an iota of what she makes and we wouldn't have to hear so much about her and her life and her parties blah blah blah. Does that make sense? Another thing, if I try to change the channel around here, I get vetoed! :)

And, yes, Harry Connick, Jr. is a beautiful man! :)

Have a great weekend. Talk to you later. :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

JD, ok, butt reduction sounds good too;)

shelly, yea I dont think the oj theroy works..but what the hell do I know? is my pharse for the day..stay gay:) thats the way God wants ya:)

Momma, well maybe that is my probelem I need a desgner purse..

Marel, oprah is starting to wear on me..I wont be marrying her!!

Anne said...

Grandma's are great-I miss mine...yours sounds like a hoot lol

We didn't have kids to ruin their lives? Oops-I gotta do some refiguring I guess.

Oprah is too rich to live-that much money obviously caused a leak for her too--a freakin' BRAIN leak. What a moronic thing to do!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

anne, grandmas are a hoot!!

I have only ever had one granny..she is going to be 78 I think and gramps is 87..and they are both a source of constant entertainment. Since I moved outta state, I dont see them much anymore.

and I agree about Oprah..I am soo crossing her off my marrying list:)

The Blog Whore said...

Here's the links:

Don't Interrupt My Rant is

My new one, Famous Last Words is

Remember I am such a blog whore, be sure to show me love.

Mike said...

Now I know why I'm not getting laid....not enough orange

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

thersa, thanx

Mike, um, shall I buy a gallon for you;)

vani said...

your grandma cracks me up! LOL