Wednesday, December 07, 2005

This is why I hate......

buffets......I normally don't hit the buffet circuit. I like my nutrition to be fresh, not heated under a light bulb. Call me what you will, but don't call me a buffet eater.

Me and the husband went to a pizza buffet tonight. I hate pizza, and I hate buffets. When I go to a buffet I find myself looking at the others. The ones who go up 5 or 6 times. The ones who truly get their moneys worth.

I am always worried that someone is counting the number of times I go up. I was hungry tonight, so you could of set a plate of deep fried horse in front of me and I would of ate it.

As I am going up for my first plate, I look around. I want to know if anyone is eyeballing me. I look around and everyone is overweight. I check to make sure everyone is bigger than me..

yes, I seem to be the skinniest one in here, so if I go up for numerous plates its ok...I am in need of some nourishment.

So the pressure is off me, I am wearing my workout clothes, they will see I workout. They will think...what is a girl like that doing eating pizza....She should be chewing on a carrot.

I eat my 2 slices of vegetarian pizza. I am still hungry. Do I go back up? Will they notice ? Is someone watching me? Does my ass look big in my workout pants?

Ok I know I am not skinny by any means, but I was the smallest gal there...SO I was feeling good.

I went up for more, on the way up there I see this 400 pound lady eye balling me. We make eye contact. I can sense she is watching my every move. I take a piece of pineapple and cheese. I walk away. She is still eye balling. Ok Is she in love with me? Yes, yes she must be.

After that I want a breadstick. I look around. She is looking at me..WTF!! I throw her a nasty look and go " duh"

I quickly see I have met my match. This woman is scared. Scared I will eat all her pizza, because she tends to sit there all night and eat till she vomits. I walk by her again. This time I feel her hatred. She wants me to die. She wants me to keel over so she can grab the last breadstick off my plate.

I quickly take my seat. Glaring at her. Taking a bite of my breadstick. Her face is sweating, she is mad. I quickly scarf down my stick, and go back up. I am not even hungry at this point.

Why did this whole scenario take place? Why was I competing with a 400 pound woman for pizza. I don't even like pizza.

I need therapy in the worse way.


Covert spy spawn lost a top tooth today. It was a big bloody mess. She bit into her apple, and it was like a bloody massacre. She yells " momma my tooth, help me my tooth"

It was hangin by a thread , so once again I had to be the dentist.

I have figured it out..

I am a

1. Dentist
4.luandrymat attendant
9.small appliance fixer
12. Baker..(crappy baker)
13.lawn mower man
15.gardner instructor

ok , I will stop there. And you know what I get paid?

Oh yea, I don't get paid...Lets just say they couldn't afford me anyway.


out hello hotties for today

Matthew Maca whatever


Christina Applegate...Maybe it cuz we have the same name...Not sure:)



pack of 2 said...

What is up with the lady at the buffet? That's so strange. I've never really thought about watching the people around me to see what they're eating. We go every once in a while, and I always eat too much. But I love to eat! Next time I'll have to look around to see if anyone's watching;-).


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Angie, you pay attention next time..I bet you have a stalker.I have this happen every time..this is my vow..i will never hit another buffett again..I dont make freinds there:-)

Melis said...

I know exactly what you're talking about! I hate going to buffets, too! Everyone always watches to see what you're getting, and how much you're getting, and how many times you're getting it. Makes me feel like I'm a manequin in a freakin' store window or something!!

I couldn't agree with you more about what/who you are, and how they couldn't afford you anyway! But I'm telling ya... some simple gratitude and acknowledgement thrown my way now and again wouldn't be a bad payment!!

Nice with the HH's! "Matthew Maca whatever".. too funny chick a dee!

Peggy said...

crap... I am one of those that watch everyone. Not because I think they shouldn't eat I just like to see the different tastes of people. I promise not to stalk people anymore! LOL but at least I don't weigh 400lbs

Marel Lecone said...

I want to sympathize . . . I really do . . . but, I just think you're nuts. hahahahaha :)

pack of 2 said...

LMFAO!!! Christina...that shit was too funny!!!
Like Ang...I have no idea who is watching me...I do have a pretty good "WTF are you looking at look" so maybe that is why people don't mess with me...just today I flipped a guy off in traffic...HA

I WILL be watching for the lurker/stalkers next time though. We don't go very often but we do meet RSG & her kids there on occasion.

I agree Christina Applegate is a hottie...also Matthew Maca whatever...LOL!
This post cracked me up!


keesh said...

Thanks Christina :). Good choice on the hot guy and even the girl. SHe is a cutie pie. Anyway, now I would like to see Ashley Judd :). Ok, it is just a request you don't have to do it.

you are way too observant in restaurants. Don't you ever just think "who cares what they think, I probably wont see them again in my life." :). I am sure she was starting at you envious of your skinny little body.

Anne said...

Hey-that was ME at the buffet! LMAO

Girl, thanks for the laugh this morning :o) I can always count on you.

Christina Applegate-my little bro hung out with her when he first got to Cali-way back when-about 15 yrs ago? She's far healthier now than she was then.

Anne said...

Hey-that was ME at the buffet! LMAO

Girl, thatnks for the laugh this morning :o) I can always count on you.

Christina Applegate-my little bro hung out with her when he first got to Cali-way back when-about 15 yrs ago? She's far healthier now than she was then.

Anne said...

Hey-that was ME at the buffet! LMAO

Girl, thanks for the laugh this morning :o) I can always count on you.

Christina Applegate-my little bro hung out with her when he first got to Cali-way back when-about 15 yrs ago? She's far healthier now than she was then.

Anne said...

MORON ON THE LOOSE! Wow--please delete a couple of those, umkay?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Melis, so you with me on this one then?? we can be crazies together:)

Peggy, shame. shame on you..We Are Not Animals..LMAO!!

Marel, I will not disagree with your findings:)

Shelly, you just wait..when you least expect it, out of the corner of you eye , you will find a stalker..After this you will avoid buffetts at all costs..Dont be scared though, embrace it..becasue at least you know there is someone in there not qiute as crazy as you!! And you dont feel so bad!! LMAO!!

Kish, well I normally am not..when I dont have to get off my ass to get the food. But when I am my own waitress and my own free to get as much as I want..I tend to pray tp God noone is notcing this is my 3rd time up..and Thank God there was no dessert buffett..I would of been double screwed!!

Anne..LMAO!! I am keeping them..ROFL!!

Working Mom said...

She was probably jealous that you could eat that much pizza and not weigh 400 lbs...LOL I can't stand buffets either. I'm a germiphob.

vani said...

lmfao- christina you crack me up!!!! i could just picture everything as you were describing it- with the the 400 lb woman sweating and everything! lol

i finally got your site up- love the pics of your mini meg ryan. :)

and who is hotter than mathew m.- did u see him in that movie 10 days to lose a guy or something like that...omg. yum!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Denise, I am a germaphobe too..I do not use public restrooms and i never open public doors with my hands..always my sleeve..LMAO

well I am glad i could crack u up this fine morning.

But I dont think he is all that, I dont like the rugged look on my man..I put him up there for a fello blogger..LMAO

Cliff Morrow said...

Great post Christina. I've never paid attention to others at buffets. However I must subconciously worry because I never go back. I always take enough in one trip to do the trick.
You don't get paid? If you'll ask your husband nicely, he'll make it right. Bartering may not be your thing however.

d said...

Oooh, I likes Matthew McConawhatever.

I went to 3 buffet's this weekend and let me tell you, I got my money's worth...and then some, especially at the dessert table. All you can eat cheesecake... oh ya, that's what I'm talkin 'bout.

Saw that pic of CS you sent yesterday, too cute! Funny that she lost the one right above the other one.

sandy said...

I think you should add comedian to your list, as you are always cracking me up!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cliff,you sound like my hubby..He puts enough on his plate to feel a third world country..but he still goes back for wonder his pants arent fitting anymore:)

d,I bet I coould out eat ya at a cheesecake me, I have no shame when it comes to the dessert buffett..I have even thought about going in one wearing a fat the keep it well supplied while I am there:)

Sandy, well I wouldnt go that far..but if you insist:)...thanx sweet:)

Tee said...

I hate that about buffets. People definitly do look at you and what's on your plate and how many times you go back. I have to carry 2 plates because I get my youngest sons food and I feel like people think it's all for me. So embaressing... I'm not skinny - not even cutely chubby - I'm overweight, but somehow there is always someone bigger than me and when I see them at the buffet I feel like I've lost my appetite because I think to myself, "That will be me if I keep eating at places like this." ... I bet there is no other nation on this earth that has buffets. I feel ashamed to be American sometimes.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Tee, AMEN sista!!!

Jamie Dawn said...

I love pizza, but I am not a great fan of buffets either. The food usually isn't good at those buffet or cafeteria places.
We moms do many jobs and our reward is our kids. Some monetary compensation would be good too!

Bumbling Bav said...

You flipping crack me right up!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

JD, well some days I wanna throw the kids out with the bath water:)
But you right!! and monetary compesation would be a perk!

Andrea, why thank you baby:)

Angel Girl said...

lol a pizza stalker. I would have gotten up in her face and taken a BIG bite of the pizza or breadstick as I walked by hehe.

I love Kelly Bundy! She's so much hotter now though then she was back then :)