Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Christina has another PSA for my peeps

Some of you might know that I am a tan freak. Now don't go given me lectures on skin cancer...Don't wanna hear it..Keep it to yourself..mmkkkaay?

anyhoo, it has been a good month since I have been able to get my weekly bronzing. I had seen this lotion by Jergins....yes, Jergins duped me yet again..First with the skin firming fiasco..Now this fiasco.....Ok, so they have this lotion called healthy glow or something..In the commercial it says it helps you maintain your "healthy summer glow" SO of course I must see what it is all about.

I buy a bottle. It says use as your daily moisturizer. Easy enough. Says use twice a day. Easy enough. I wake up the next morning with what appears to be some form of jaundice. My wrist and the little spots between my fingers are brown/orange color...Holy crap...This is like some kind of self tanner in disguise...Crap....I would never of bought it if I knew this was the case. Nowhere on the bottle does it say that it is a self tanner...It says use like your regular moisturizer....LYING FUC*ERS!!

So after that gawd awful realization, I decide I better get my as& back to the tanning salon. Now what happens next is a total blonde moment...

Christina forgets to take her necklace off. Her necklace with the big bulky green beads on it. I got burned.....Not sure why....But my face, the girls, and my chest are red. I look in the mirror and notice something disturbing. I have big splotches of whiteness on my neck where I forgot to take my necklace off......I am a hideous monster...My brown/orange jaundice along with my white splotches from my damn necklace...Don't look at me, I am hideous..

So this is just a courtesy call to you..Cause I am cool like that....So what have we learned from Christina ?
1. Don't by Jergins skin firming lotion because it will not firm your droopy ass or your sagging boobs.

2. Don't buy Mr. Clean magic eraser....Just because I said.

3. Don't buy Jergins Healthy Glow lotion.....You will come out looking like you are suffering from a deadly form of hepatitis...Jaundice is not a good look for anyone...

So what have we learned here today boys and girls...?

Jergins sucks donkey balls....



Peggy said...

I am so glad I have my own personal product tester! You have saved me alot of money the last couple months. LOL

pack of 2 said...'re too funny. I'll never forget....Jergins Sucks donkey balls.


d said...

Hee hee. I love it when you say "donkey balls"

Sorry you're orange. I have that lotion but I've never used it enough to even have a chance at turing even a hint of orange.

Angel Girl said...

You are like our own personal little product dummy.. I LOVE IT! Someone has to take the brunt of the side effects.. lol.

Mental note: Jergens sucks donkey balls!

JD's Rose said...

I learned that the more I read your blog the more I laugh. You have balls on your neck... hehehe.

Anne said...

First, I forgot to mention that I read somewhere that those Magic erasers have formaldehyde in them or some such nonsense. I never really thought they did too much of a good job. ? What do I know.

As for self tanners-ew. Those are so nasty and you know, I would CALL Jergens and give them a little "what-for" after that. Boneheads.

Hey-we blondes need to stick together-stop making us look so bad k? LOL

Working Mom said...

I'm so glad for the heads up! I bought some of that lotion about a month ago and have been too lazy to use it (sad, but true). In the garbage it will go!

Cliff Morrow said...

At least no pets were injured in the testing of these products. I know you can't respond today because you're on your way to Lincoln Ne. Right?
btw, stories like these always go better with pictures.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

too bad I dont get paid to test this crap..I end up losing my money..heeeheee

You keep remebering that sweety..I nlove giving you guys a "heads up"..LMAO

doneky balls..I did that one just for you:)

this is what I do..I try shit..and I inform the public of my findings..cause I am cool like that..I had figuring it all out on my own though..LMAO

Kylz, glad I can make u laugh...and yes..I do have balls on my neck..ROFL..

Anne, if it has that crap in it I will NOT be useing it again thats for sure....
Self tanners are the devils little joke on us...I have tried staying away from them since I was in highschool..But Jergins tricked me..fuc*ers:)

throw it out..unless youw anna join me in the freak club...hahaa

no time to responde....I have a aprty to get to:)

CoolChic said...

I would call or email them with complaints, you would be surprised what some companies are willing to do. Tell them you will make sure all your friends know "They suck donkey balls". I bought a self tanner once, it sucked I wrote them an email and they sent me my money back plus a coupon for another free product.

One company I bitched because two things I bought came on sale the following week and there was no way I could lug the one present back, so they sent me three $25 gift cards!!!

Gangadhar said...'s too funny..
And I hope you had a great Christmas!!
And Happy new year to you,Christina..

Tee said...

LOL - I stick with Olay lotion with an SPF. That's good stuff.

vani said...

love the holiday pics- i've missed your crazy sense of humor! lol

and watch out for that tanning crap- don't want u to turn out like some of the old leathery skin women in ny.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I am thinking about doing that..I would love to get some free crap..but I am boycotting Jergins..ROFL

Ganghdar, glad you liked it..the damnest things happen to me you no.

I bought some Oil of Olay quench..that seems to be good so far;)

I know what you meean about the leathrey skin people...but it isnt enough to make me stop..just like lung cancer isnt enoug to make people stop smoking..LOL

pack of 2 said...

I learned that I want to see a picture of this mess with your new camera:)


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well your not the only one...ok, that will be part of my post tomorw..i hope you all enjoy:)

Karin said...

Well I am so sorry you are in an orange period right now. I hope the effects of Jergins fades quickly. As I live in Sunny California and exercise outside every day I don't know the wonders of tanning or needing too so I can't feel your pain. Nor would my girls ever be exposed to get burned so I am hoping that isn't too painful. Good luck.

JD's Rose said...


Krystal A. Kelly said...

LOL! Thanks for the heads up!

Charmed1 said...

I remember clearly a girl in my 6th grade class using a self bronzer then going to a tanning bed... I'm sure you can figure this one out, she was orange for weeks. I hate self tanners.

I have to say though I do love the magic eraser, it takes the crayon off of my lovely paneling. And the permanent marker off of my desk, and a few other things I've used it for. I must have missed that entry.

Charmed1 said...

Okay... Duh... I found it...

BossyĆ¢™¥'s YOU said...

well the only thing that is oragne is my fingers..LOL...I hate self tanners and if I would of known that is what it was..i would not of spent the 9 bucks on it..heehee


thats what I am here for sweety..

I know some people love those things...I guess I am going to have to wait for the kids to get crayon everywhere..LMAO

Melis said...

Omg girly! I think you need to check out ONLINE REVIEWS for some things here and there before you buy things based on the products TV ads! LMAO And ya have that nice new camera... where's the ORANGE CHRISTINA pics??????? LMFAO Sorry girl, yanno I couldn't resist... but I do still love ya!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I am going to post some for come back around 10 pm..LMAO

momma of 2 said...

Oh Geesh, lady- you need to stop buying that shit... wait a minute - that would be like the pot calling the kettle black - only under no circumstances will I ever be tan.. it is impossible... I went every day for one month before my wedding- and I didn't tan - I burned like mad - but no tan... and the self tanning lotion crap - I have tried it all - and have found none that works - the Mary Kay stuff sorta did - but I still looked ORANGE - not TAN....