Friday, October 07, 2005

ponderings and abnormal thoughts


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?"
Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binocularsto look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile?

If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

What do you call male ballerinas?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?


if u have any thoughts u have been pondering, please feel free to jot them down and we can discuss them in further at a later date:)

Sorry, just had to get these thoughts off my chest....and I have nothing else for the day...:)



mal said...

OK Dammit!!! now you got me wondering too...*grumble* *L*.....I can answer one!! A hearse in California with a corpse qualifies for the HOV lanes...can't be late for your own funeral

Wethyb said...

Those are great! I love those things! And yes I did start humming the ABC and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

Working Mom said...

My SIL works at Coke and they will not allow them to bring Pepsi products into the office.

Heather said...

heres one for ya:

Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

mallory, good to know this..never know where your going to die:)

beth, i knew someone would...:)

denise, well u have put on to rest for me, and thnaks for stopping by:)

Heather, hmm, very intersting..i see u have your thinking cap on this morning huh?..heehee

vani said...

LOL- did u make these up? too funny..i like the one about the cow and squeezing the dangly thing! lol

d said...

Never thought about the Ham one before. That's kinds gross when you do think about it.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

vani,yes that is my personal favorite too..LOL

d,see what I mean..thses r things we need to talk about:)

oh and btw, u will have to give me a detalied play by play of nip/tuck when u see it toinght. I forgot to watch to tuesday..i suck major:)

Krystal A. Kelly said...

OMG!!! LOL!!!

Jamie Dawn said...

The bra/panties question is a good one since the singular bra covers two things.

Krystal A. Kelly said...

I have one to wonder about: The Red Sox wear red, the Orangemen wear orange, Green Bay wears green...BUT the Cleveland Browns...they wear orange.

Go figure.

Kiachu Shen Ku said...

I laughed till I cried!