Thursday, May 25, 2006

Praying for time

I have many stories today, this could be a long one..So please bare with me. And if you get bored and stop reading it..pooie on you.

First up, I had an appoitment to take my dog to see the groomer. My dog was in desperate need of a makeover, the winter left her limp and matted. Now mind you this is a dog I spent damn near close to $1,000 for. Mr Shaky Pants is still in the dark on that one..

My dog's name is Ellen. I named her that, get over it. Now Ellen is retarted like my bees. But she does know 2 things. Those things are when she gets into the van she is either heading on a 18 hour hike to Michigan, or going to the beauty shop. And since I was the only other human getting in the van, she knew where we were headed (she knows I could never drive thru Chicago alone).

So I get her out of my van and put her on the sidewalk. When she saw me taking a right and head into the shop, she darted out of her collar and onto the highway. I live only 5 blocks from the dog shop. My dog ran nearly all the way home. When I caught her I told her I was going to kill her.

We get to the shop and as we walk thru the pearly gates she growls at me..She shows me her teeth. At this point I am really going to kill her.

This is what she looks like now...She does not like her hair cut.

This is not the face of a dog who appreciates her owner huh?

So I took the girls outside while I planted some seeds outside my hive, this is some cute pics I took..Look Blondie is holding worms..She is so creepy that way.

This is just Boo Bee trying to control her fowl sailor mouth..

This is her napping today, not more than 2 minutes after I took this photo I heard a thump. She rolled outta bed. She was sleeping in Blondie Bees bed. Because she likes to that's why. She ran out of the room to find me and said " I ok momma, I fall out of Blondies bed, but I ok momma"...No she didn't say damnit.

yes that is a spiderman blanket....Blondie Bee likes diverse things..She holds worms for crying out loud...And plus her comforter was being washed today, so that is Butch Bees old one...mmkay?

It was in the paper that everyone in my neighborhood should keep their animals in the house at all times. I guess there was a bear spotted down the street a few nights ago. And I don't live in the country. Closest dirt road is a long ways..I live very close to a busy highway..Like blocks. And there was a bear...A freaking bear. And Mr shaky Pants is worried bout the gators down south. Plus there was a moose spotted in town not long ago too. Like wild freaking kingdom here.

But I have figured out how I am going to kill my dog. I am going to send her out with a picnic basket tied around her neck.

Bee Real


Anonymous said...

I live in the gators unless you are at the coast. We do however have copperheads, rattlesnakes,cottonmouths,coyotes, and bobcats. I have already seen 6 snakes this year. And we had a coyote in our pasture last month.

Kelly said...

I'll have to show my daughter the picture of Blondie holding up the worms. She cries when she has to wait for the bus and there are worms in our driveway. She stood at the end of the driveway when getting home one day and cried for five minutes (literally) trying to get up to the house without coming into contact with the worms!! She's ALL girl I tell ya! Watch out for those bears...I'd think twice about my four mile walks unless you're armed :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

we have coytees here can hear them every for the snakes, well I prefer creatures with legs..i saw one not long ago, and had cardiac arrest..

well blondie will hold worms, but dont ask her to kill a bug..she is afraid of spiders..but last summer she had a container full of worms for pets..she kept it in her room..

never thought about my walk, i better get a taser or something.

Meow said...

Aaawww, Ellen looks great. That's one cool haircut.
I love it when girls are gutsy enough to play with worms ... my Chicky is like that !!
Bears in your town, and a moose, how scary. I'd be locking up my animals, too. Sounds like you live in an episode of a TV program I once watched (can't recall it's name, sorry).
Take care, Meow

Cliff Morrow said...

Marilyns customers usually love getting in the car with her. (she has a pick up and delivery service)But she does have a few who avoid her. She has even had dogs dive into her van to try to go home with her.
Hmmm bear country eh.

Peggy said...

Poor Ellen, bet she will bite you when you go to sleep tonight! LOL As for the bear a taser wouldn't help you... just pi** off the bear even more and you would be lunch! Be carefull walking or make shakey bee walk in front of you carrying a picnic basket. LOL

Mike said...

I wonder if you can get ole Marlin Perkins to come back from the grave to check out the wild, wild kingdom where you're at?

Bumbling Bav said...

Middle child in my house loves worms. That just grosses me right out. But if a fly comes near her... she screams like her arm is being ripped off!

aatank said...

What is it with kids and worms...My kids love them too...until I tried to get them to eat it. I said they would be cool like the people on Survivor and Fear Factor...They didn't by it.

I keep telling my kids we can go to the zoo this summer, maybe we can just stop by your house. We could see bear, moose, whales in your lake and bees...Sounds better than Detroit.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well she will only touch worms, anything else and she acts like a total girl..haha

marylin can come anytime and pick up my pooch for a that is service..does she come to MN?..hehe..

for some reason she is very needy after a haircut..she is short with the kids and follows me and mr shaky pants around..ok, forget the taser..maybe i should carry a pocket full of fish, and throw the fish out if they get too close.

well i never thought about that, see what you can do..or maybe i will need to find the crocodile hunter.

well she freaks out at bugs..worms are her only "creature" she will touch:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

the whales are in the bee says its the ocean, we had a fight the other night about it..

come on down, we got coytee's and turtles foxes and bald eagles, pelicans..come on down, i have plenty of room:)

Mrs. Diamond said...

I just love how you put all things in perspective. You made me laugh really hard. I needed that.

Love the doggie haircut. My stupid $1000 mutt is going for one soon too, but he always likes it AFTER it's over. He prances around like he's the king of the castle. Well he always thinks he is king of the castle.
Never mind.

Your kids are soooo cute.

Princess said...

a bear! wow thats nuts. i so wish we had some exciting news like that around our neighbourhood.
we do get kangaroos, but who wants that when you can get a bear???

your backyard is soo lovely and green and pretty. your lucky.

i totally dig the spiderman covers too. they are very cool ;P

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

mrs d,
my doggie hates her hair cut, she is a diva..haha..glad i could make ya laugh anyway;)

i would gladly take a kangaroo or a wallabye over a bear..kangaroos dont eat human..haha

Granny said...

So far no bears here but it wouldn't surprise me if they turned up. We're not that far away from Yosemite.

Fantastagirl said...

A bear would flip me out... hope all is well.

I'll have to show this to Tink tomorrow - a girl holding a worm - she'll freak out...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i want to go wehre you live,I have always wanted t go to Yoseimte:)

blondie bee loves her worms, she was picking them up so i would not harm them with my shovel..she loves worms..bugs, forget it..she cries:)

Jamie Dawn said...

Poor Ellen will get mauled by a bear of you do that!

Boo looks so sweet when she is sleeping.
She looks cute even when she's cussing like a sailor.

Ewwww! Worms!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

thats the point..teehee..

boo is much cuter when she is sleeping..and she refuses to get anywhere near the worms..blondie is just a rare breed;)

Jewl said...

I think your dog and my dog need to go for a walk together in the woods behind my house for a visit to see the creature....

just_tammy said...

You say your hubby doesn't know how much Ellen set you back. You have also said he reads your blog. Are you asking for trouble?!

Cute pictures by the way. How did you get the worms to smile?!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i am got a creature bigger than a bear?..haha

well he doesnt really ready it..not anymore..

the worms just like the camrea i guess..

i have to get ready for work, dont make me go!!

Gette said...

Worms are bait hereabouts, the kids will gladly pick 'em up. It should be garter snake season here, but oddly enough, I haven't seen any this year and the yard is usually crawling with them (good for bug and mouse control.)

Working Mom said...

I have yard envy! Mine is all dry and dead. Guess the grass is always greener on the other side, huh?

God, we have all kinds of critters here. I'm a big chicken of the snakes and gators. Seems like gators are everywhere here.

Ew, the worm thing...I would've washed Bug's hands until the skin fell off...LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

hey, have you seen bees around your place?..I heard some fungus has killed most of the honeybees and that they werent around to pollante the flowers and plants..and I have not seen one bee but a bumble bee and they dont pollantate..weird..

dont have yard envy..i have state envy:)

my kids are always digging in teh dirt and she is alwyas picking up worms..but i am very fussy bout the hand washing..but so much that her skin will fall off..haha

Kendra Lynn said...

Cute kids. AS for the worms...yes, that is gross. But not as gross as the day I walked in the boxelder bug-infested playroom and found my girls letting baby boxelder bugs crawl up their arms. Merry said, "Oh look, Mommy...its a cute lil baby bug."
I squish or flush every bug I come across, so I don't know where the bug fascination came from. I'm worried.

Michele_3 said...

I'm with Denise- your yard is so green! I love it- We are in need of desperate rain & everyone's yard here looks like hay(LOL)

I would love to see a bear here-from afar of course...
Where I live you see deers occasionally, alot of vultures & the gator hysteria is still going on-
right now it's love bug season & it's killing me & my car! YUCK!

Love your post, you always crack me up! Ellen is so cute too-what is she?

Marel Lecone said...

Such great pics. Was that a worm, you said? Ew! Now, that's hard. I hope all is well. I will get better at blogging soon, I hope. Vacay is on the way in the Florida--I hope that heals me up some from the work. Talk to you later. Miss you guys.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

flushing them is a darn good idea to me.

um she is a dog..haha..she is a lahsa apso..small dog with long mangy hair. want her?

we have lots of deer here too, but no gators, that i have seen anyway, now boo bee has spotted s humpback whale in the who knows.

well i have been wondering where you been..Lordygirl i miss you when your gone..

Angel Girl said...

haha, your descriptions and stories always seem to crack me up. I love how fantastical your brain thinks, and is all over the place. Pure genius my friend lol.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

angel girl,
well now i am blushing,i hope your happy now.

Angel Girl said...