Friday, May 05, 2006

livin on a prayer

Ok, Mr. Shaky Pants is letting me have a birthday weekend do-over since I had to work all last weekend. But this got me thinking about something. Wouldn't it be nice if we had more than one day per year where it was just our day? One day does not hardly seem sufficient in my book.

Sure there are holidays like Mother Day..You know what I say bout that?..Big freakin deal. That is a day we have to share with our own mothers, or MIL's, or whoever else has spewed forth from their loins. That day does not count. Granted, we should still be waited on, as we are the ones who did the spewing forth.

I think we should pick a day, any day you want...And make it "your day". Maybe pick like your half birthday or something, so your days are spread out far enough, and then with all the other "legal" holidays thrown in the mix, it will make for a joyful year.

It is nice having one day where its just your day. You can do whatever you want, and have your family and friends be at your beck and call.

Here is my ideal day. Bear with me..

I will wake around 8ish, shower..But when I get out of the shower I wont be cold. I will have a heated towel waiting for me and my clothes will be brought to me fresh from the dryer. My hair will comb easily this day. I wont have to fight with my brush and I wont lose any hair. My hair will dry in like 5 minutes tops..And will go the way I want it to.

For breakfast I will have fresh fruit, flown in from somewhere exotic.

I will watch TV..No Dora..

I will take naps upon my leisure, then I will have some lunch. I will require a freshly made club sandwich on wheat bread. It will have no fat Mayo and turkey. No tomatoes either. I would also like a fresh hot steamy bowl of Broccoli and cheese soup from Ruby Tuesday...But at home.

I will not make dinner, I will have a chef come in and cater. I will have Lobster Tail, fresh shrimp..(with the poop and veins removed of course) I will have some garlic mashed potatos from Applebees, and steamed fresh veggies..Not boiled, but steamed..I want my veggies to be crisp yet tender, they will not be soggy or droopy.

For my dessert I will have the finest cheesecake's imported. They will contain no calories or fat.

For leisure activities I would like to take a tennis lesson. I want to have a caddy all day, but I do not want to golf. I just want someone to pick up after me all day, and say "good job" .

I will not change a sh*tty diaper all day, and someone will come in and potty train my 2 year old.

I will spend the day at the park, alone..

I will not be rushed, I will not be yelled at or called upon for anything.

This to me sounds like a good day. I will start winding down my day around 9ish, I will have a hot bath drawn for myself, with lots of bubbles. My IPOD will be fully charged and I will sing at the top of my lungs and nobody will pound on the door and tell me to stop. In fact, they will say " wow, can you sing one more?'

My towel yet again will be warm and waiting for me all folded. My pajamas will be waiting. They will be snuggly and toasty. I will have my caddy apply my lotion ( he will be young and good looking..) he will beg for my hand in marriage, but I will have to turn him down, as I am already spoken for. He will beg and plead. I will wipe the tears from his eye, and tell him that if Mr Shaky Pants were to die, I would come looking for him. After the approiate time to grieve has passed...thats what like 2 weeks tops right?

He will lul me to sleep with a lullabye. He will wipe the drool from my pillow.

So this is how I would spend my day...

**
Now I need to go get my lawn mowing clothes on, Bossy is going to trim the hedges tonight. All that rain last week makes my grass look like I am growing some "weed" in the back..it really shot right up.

As you may remeber from last summer I am the lawn mowing queen. It is my passion in the summer. I will get sucked by bugs, twigs in my eyes, run over small mammals, and hit some rocks..Good Times...I live for this crap.

Well I think I have a ripe smelling baby as we speak, and my caddy aint here to deal with it.

Have a good weekend. I will enjoy my birthday weekend reprive. I will be consuming mass quanties of drink and food. With Norm. Norm likes his food and spirits.

Bee Real
<3

I already feel bloated. Not a good sign.

21 comments:

Peggy said...

I mowed yesterday. today I am watching it rain and making soap. Have a nice do over and keep Norm all in one piece. LOL

The Blog Whore said...

Well, happy re-birthday!

...and when you find the person to potty train the 2yr old please send them my way.

Badoozie said...

i'm not dead, but i might die soon. because i'm hungry, and cranky.,

so, here's the dealeo. just proclaim yourself a day when ever the heck you feel like it. and what those other people do is their problem. you know, those kids and that shaky man. they can survive without you for a day here and there.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

peggy,
Norm has so far stayed in one piece..so far;)

blog whore,
sure thing, but i plan to get full use from the services first.

suzie,
ok, I am glad your not dead..

your plan is a wise one. I just need it to be legalized on my calander though.

Granny said...

Great idea - sometime this summer perhaps. Although the only way it could happen is if I spent the day at a spa.

Working Mom said...

I think we should get 1 day a month. That's pretty fair, right?

Hope your birthday redo weekend goes well. Beat the crap outta anyone who tries to ruin it for ya :-)

Kelly said...

I always feel guilty that Syd's dad and I divorced...but I did her one favor. She now gets two Christmas', two birthday parties, etc...She has told me that it is "cool" to get double the presents!

Have a fun re-birthday and relax!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

granny,
summer sounds good, just make sure u do it, you got me!!

denise,
now your talking..I was going to suggest that but didnt want to seem to greedy:)

kelly,
yes it was the same when my parents divorced, i was 12 then, but still double the fun..2 houeses, 2 holidays..it rocked..

too bad we didnt live closer and we could have a birthday weekend toghter..just us girls;)

Fantastagirl said...

I think that's a great idea - I ran the mower a few days ago - holy cow - it's a lot of work.

Mike said...

Enjoy your weekend!!

Anonymous said...

I'd love to share that day with you...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

fantstagirl,
lots of work indeed, but your building some muscle girl;)

mike,
why thank you sir, and you do the saem.

annymous,
i will share the day with you..no probelem..i will get us two caddys;)

Gette said...

Point that mower westward when you're done. Mine took a crap and died halfway through the job, so the lawn looks even tackier than before, if that's possible.

Jamie Dawn said...

Enjoy your extra-birthday weekend.
I hope someone massages your feet.

I thought of an idea for you.
You are called Bossy Britches, right?

Well, whenever you rant or complain or vent, you should call it:

Bossy Bitches

It's what you are doing... right?

I crack myself up!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

gette,
sure thing, just have some freshly squeezed lemonade ready for me;)

jamie,
oh my word, you are cracking me up too sweety..

vani said...

LMAO! oh bossy, you never seize to amuse me. i love ya for it. :)

i hope at least 3 of those wishes come true for ya. :)

Cliff Morrow said...

So,,how much would I have to pay to get that caddy job? People don't actually get paid to do that do they??

Kendra Lynn said...

Hi there.
I hope you have a marvellous weekend. :) Enjoy it...and do spoil yourself.
Take care.
Love ya.
Kendra

JD's Rose said...

Ok, I'm crap.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

vani,
oh shucks:)..wouldnt it be nice to have a day like that?..

cliff,
well for the right fellow..it is a steal..send me your resume:)

kendra,
well so far its having a rocky start, so we will see..haha..thanks and love right back;)

JD,
I will let it slide this time:)

Anna said...

I've always liked the idea of celebrating my half birthday! I'm in!

I love your perfect day plan. I want one just like it!