Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Dream a little dream

So last night I had a dream. One of the weirdest dreams a chick like me could have. I am almost too embarrassed to say it..Almost, but not quite.

Anyhoo, I had a dream I was engaged to someone...I had a weird black onyx ring with small encrusted diamonds..I was real ugly!! And for the person I was engaged too, they could soo afford a better for ring, for me. Their love.

So who was I engaged too...Ok I will tell you..I was engaged to none other than Oprah Winfrey. Is that totally insane or what? We were at some event and I wanted to make sure everyone knew her and I were together. It was creepy , yet not so creepy.

Heaven help me, why the heck am I dreaming about being Oprah,s brawd??

Is it totally insane for me to want to make nicey with some of my neighbors in order to get them to apply for Trading Spaces? Why do they have to live next door??? Damn, I don't even know my neighbors, and I don't know if their houses suck..I just want someone to come re-do my bedroom . I am too cheap and too lazy to hurdle that task. It is much too big. So if any of my neighbors are out there...."um hey, ya wanna...ahh, Trade Spaces sometime?"

Now have you heard of
It is a dating service online. My mom has signed up for it, and is hoping to find a match. I am in charge of weeding out the would be migdets and creeps. (truth be told, it is better this way). So every night I go thru her matches and pick the ones I like. I have found a few semi-alright guys. There is truly nothing harder than to marry off your mutha.

I have a few requirements of my own...
1. Must be above 5 feet tall ( I do not mean to discriminate..I am just sayin)

2. Must have job...(self explanatory)

3. Must be wealthy. ( I have always wanted to be rich)

4. Must have winter home off the coast of Hawaii..( and not be there when I want to go there)

5.Must be willing to take my mother to your house, feed her, bathe her ( not together of course),by her things,take her on trips,marry her, and be willing to let my kids have free reign of your house for weekends on end.

6. Must not be weird

7. Must be willing to give your step daughter cash for cruising, and going to the pizza shop..Or for a vacation or a new whatever I want when I want it

6. Let me call you daddy:-)

So do you think I will get any takers? I know, I am extremely fussy!! But trust me..I need to be..

She had me take a pic of her today to put on her profile..I did her hair and her make-up..So I will share with you the picture..I took one of her and baby spawn too..But again, she was not wanting her picture taken...Pisser!!

So there you have it..If anyone wants to date her..Send all correspondents with your newest w-2 form to the address below

Marrying off mum
345 hot hunnie blv.
Minneapolis , MN


And this reminds me of a funny story. When I was about 10 years old I was with my mom at some kind of party. Bunch of her friends and whatnot, and I was trying to be "cool and blend in with the ladies".

In front of all her friends I told her I wanted her to pack me the juice box with the green straw because I wanted to get horny.

Now 10 year old me had no bloody idea what horny meant, I just knew I heard my friends talking about being horny. All of my moms friends nearly wet themselves and my mom says

" do you know what horny means?"

" um, yes..."

" well, what"

"means I want to be kissed"

" um, well, yes..yes your right honey"

after we got home, she told me what it meant. I wanted to die because I had no idea what I was saying. And I felt so stupid. Later my mom told me that it was not a good thing for a 10 year old to be saying you want to be horny..I did not tell her I told my teacher before I left school that day that I was gonna get horny over the weekend..:-)

Here is our hello hottie

Lenny Kravitz..Oh la la

and my honey....

hands off..They are both mine:-)

Happy hump day



Peggy said...

Your mom is lovely. Don't think you will have any problems finding her a great guy.. just stay away from any guys carrying carrots! LOL If you hook up with oprah you won't need a sugar stepdad.... but you could remember all your blog friends on oprah's give away day each year! Think I will go to bed and see what i can dream up.

Jewl said...

Oprah? Yikes, I would take Dr. Phil over her...LOL You might want to have a little chat with him about your dream :) Cute pic of your Mom, good luck!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

peggy, no worries honey, no matter if i find a sugar step daddy or marry Oprah..u guys are covered:)

Jewl,I dont know, I would take Oprah over Dr phil anyday!!...but thats just me..:-)

Working Mom said...

Crap, I'd marry Oprah....hell, I'd make hubby marry Oprah if I could get my hands on some of her cash...LOL

mal said...

OPRAH???? OMG........

regarding the 5 foot rule? naah, I can understand that, he needs to be able to twirl your Mom on the dance floor

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

denise, I would marry her in a heartbeat..:)

Mallory,yes, and she has had bad luck with the little men..LOL

momyblogR said...

Your Mom is very attractive. She shouldn't have any trouble.

YOU. YOU are cracked. Engaged to Oprah. That is hysterical. Well, look at it this way, she is LOADED!


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

momyblogR, am i really cracked? crap i thought so, but I wasnt sure..what do I do now???

its either Oprah or the bLue Wiggle..I am doomed for sure huh?


Anne said...

Damn RIGHT Oprah can afford a better ring! The nerve, I tell ya ;O) lol

Your mom is freakin' adorable~of course!

Ok and um, why can't whoever she meets bathe with her?

Anyhooo...stay away from green--that horny stuff is what breeds those spawn--trust me-I know.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Anne, well about the bathing part..I didnt want her to seem like a tramp..LOL

and trust me, I know all about the green..I have 3 spawns ya no!!

( I know you have me beat ther though)..heehee

Anonymous said...

Laughing my butt off!

That's a crazy dream.

Just had to say....Lenny Kravitz is SMOKING HOT.
I have always had the hots for him!

Peanutt said...

At least Oprah is rich!!! That is too funny!
I don't think your mom will have a problem! Good luck on that!!!
U have a great hump day too you horny thing you!!! LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

novak8, aint he though...*drooling*

peanut, do u think she would leave Stedman for me????

mom of 3 girls said...

Well your mom hasnt changed a bit, still looks the same. Hope you can find what you are looking for in a man for her. LOL

Wow what a dream, I had a dream too, but I will not share it with everyone, maybe you alone, but not everyone. We can talk about this dream

Well girl I am off to get ready for work and talk to you later, I posted a new post pretty boring compared to yours. LOL

d said...

LMAO @ the Oprah dream. Hell, I'd marry her, she's loaded- yes, she could be my sugar momma any day.

...and Hello Hottie! Lenny Kravitz is so damn hot! Great choice!

Like your requirements for Mom, don't forget that he cannot be a homicidal maniac. If he's rich, a bad ticker would be a good idea too ;)

Melis said...

I was for SURE you were going to say the Blue DoodleBop! LMAO!!! Oprah, huh? Hmmmmm.... ok. I'll be checking my mail every day for the wedding invite! ;)

As the others have said, I don't think you'll have any problem "hookin your Mom up"... just remember, if she gets stuck... get the hose! LMAO Sorry! Not sure where that came from! he he

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

jacks, I need to ehar the dream:)

d,bad ticker...why didnt I think of that??..dang..your always one step ahead of me girl:)

Melis,oh I would of classified that was a nightmare, remeber?? wasnt so bad having oprah!!!!

pack of 2 said...

Love Oprah.....and Lenny. He's a hottie. And Oprah, well I just love and respect that woman like she's a Goddess.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

angie, I am with ya all the way on that one!!!!

Oprah is a Goddess:)

Tee said...

LOL - You can't have Oprah. She's mine. She's my sugar mama. ROFL...

Don't worry - I've had dreams lately I'm not even going to get into!

Good luck on marrying off your Mom. I've been trying to do the same with my MIL. (She's a widow.)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

so we have to fight over Oprah and Sportacus..not looking good..:)

The Blog Whore said...

I had a sex dream about John Goodman once. It was pretty good.

The Blog Whore said...

Well, you know, they say Oprah is gay, so you may be half right. LOL!

momma of 2 said...

You crack me up....

Don't think your mom should have any problems finding a good guy!

Oprah? not going there...


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Um, John Goodman. and it was good??

I know I have heard that..but I am not..LMAO!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Momma, so u dont approve of Oprah huh?..LMAO!!

Peggy said...

the cookie you asked about on my blog is kinda like a ginger snap. there is an awesome molasses cookie recipe if you scroll on down. thanks for stopping by.

vani said...

awww, your mama is purty. :) as for oprah- stay away from daytime tele girl!!!! hehe

hey, for some reason i can't bring your site up at work- it just sits there like it wants to load, but can't- no idea why. at home its be expecting delayed comments from me. :(

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I was gonna drop by your site tongiht to see if u answerd me on the cookie thing..LOL..sounds tastey

Vani, I have a few others who can not bring up my site too,I have no idea why....but a delayed comment from my Vani is better than no comment from my Vani;)

pack of 2 said...

LMAO at the Oprah dream...hey, you could do a lot worse than Oprah...say...Roseanne, Sandra Burnhardt, William Hung...See what I mean?

Good luck with fixin your mom up...let us know how that goes.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Roseanne..ugg...William HUng..I just lost my cookies..

( I secertly always liked S. Bernhardt..not the most attractive thing..but I just alwyas had a thing for her) me odd, go ahead:)

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