Thursday, November 17, 2005

mean moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all.I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.Was your Mom mean?
I know mine was.

We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work.
We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.

I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have never been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today.

It just doesn't have enough mean moms!


Greg said...

"Children must learn that their parents are imperfect". I agree, but wonder how they discover that and when...

During adolescence, when teens start to think abstractly and find themselves, they logically deduce that parents are human, that they are not infallible.. though I wouldn't try to make that one of my lessons as a parent nor would I openly express the rawest of emotions around my children because disclosing that part of yourself may confuse familial boundaries. This is my interpretation of the concept anyway. Cheers.. what do you think?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Greg, well you have a valid point. But I think your reading way too much into it..I was thinking more of showing your emotion, not holding back fears or joy.

Letting your kids know it is ok, to be scared or filled with joy..

do u get what I mean?....

I didnt think anyone would go that deep...but hey, this is why I like you so much..U always have a view I never thought about:-)

Marel Lecone said...

You are pretty right on . . . very deep post, Girl. I'm liking it. I was just walking into work last night when someone's garbage was just left in the hallway. It was garbage left from a meal. I was thinking--how terrible that the person just assumed someone would pick up after them. The thinking must have been received at home. So sad. Talk to you later.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

marel, I knew you would get it..u and I kind of have the same thoguhts sometimes on things...

and yes, the gargae thing would tick me off..

just monday I was telling covert spy spawn not to touch the big glass windows at the airport..she was asking why..i told her someone will have to clean them and if u would keep your hands off them, it is less work for them to do...

geesh kids

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i mean gargabe.oh i give it..i cant spell..we all know this by now:)

pack of 2 said...

Wow, your mom WAS mean...LOL!

Sounds like she did a great job!


Melis said...

You are SO right on with this post girly! My 13 & 10.5 yo already get it! When they get in trouble (well way after the fact), I always go talk to them and make them tell ME why they're in trouble, then, being the big 'ol softy that I am, tell 'em that I hate it when they get in trouble, and they both tell me... "It's ok, Mom! If we weren't mad at you for something, you wouldn't be doing your job!" **insert big 'ol proud Momma grin here!** I, too, try to make sure that my kids know that I'm not perfect, just so that they know that they don't have to be perfect either. That it's ok to not only have feelings, but express them as well! (hubby has a hard time with this one sometimes.. sees it as disrespect.) I love my Mom more now for all the reasons I "hated" her for so much back then!! I hope it ends up being the same with my kids and me!!! Kudos to you, chick a dee... for being one of the few "Mean Moms" left in the world!!! :)

Angel Girl said...

Girl you are so right on! The problem with parents today is they followed through with those empty promises of when they were swearing at their parents about how mean they are and how they would NEVER treat their kids like that.

Well guess what, your right you didn't and look at how big of a sh*thead they are!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

shelly, she was mean in more ways then one..LOL...thanks though..

Melis, well it is good your kids are old enough to get oldest is still trying..LOL..your doing a bang up job if they get it:)

Angel Girl, Amen sista:)

vani said...

what a great and true post! now i feel better about being the "mean mom". :) thank you.

and you were very lucky to have one too. i guess in the end that's what it's all about- throughtout all the trials and tribulations (sp?) have our children become better people, and even better for them to realize that we had something to do with it.

Dottie said...

Mean Mom = great kids! Wonderful post and one I needed to read as we are into our first year of teen hood with Morgan! She's a great kid but it's hard to always lay down those laws and have them be upset.

LOL about the hands on the glass. I SOOOO do this with my kids. I used to work for Estee Lauder and know what a pain it is to clean the glass cases, they were at a perfect height for little sticky hands!

Mavida Lesbiana said...

Right on - Great post!

Mike said...

Ya big

Jewl said...

I have read this before... I love it!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

vani,it feels good to be mean doesnt it...LOL

Dottie, oh the dreaded teenage years...I am not looking forward to that I can tell ya...

Cat, thanks sugar;)

Mike, have u been talking to my son???LOL

jewl, it is a good one...I did a little minor tweeking o it..LOL

Wethyb said...

I like that. So true!