hot child in the city

After my talk of eating batter last post, it made me miss the days of being able to consume anything.

I mean if i were to eat a thing of say cookie dough right now, not only would I more then likely vomit, but I would gain about 10 pounds.

When I was a kid and teen, I could eat anything. I mean I had my standards, but holy shit they were not much...

Remember Corn Nuts?..Holy hell I use to consume full bags of corn nuts, cans of cashews and the motherload of brownie batter and peanut butter cups.

But like I said, all the teen sex kept me in shape.

Even after I got married, I could still eat anything. Oh it was glorious.

Then two years after I wed, I had a baby, and things all went to hell at that point.

My boobs went from the size of tiny marbles to a full sized king beds.

And after each baby, the boobs got bigger and bigger. I mean now, 5 years after having the last tot, my boobs sort of in a way defy gravity.

I mean how can something grow like that?

I don't know.

And they are still perky...how does that work?

It could be worse, they could be hanging to my knees and get caught in my socks.

So that is a good thing.

And being a stay at home mom does nothing for the figure.

I think in the last year I have gained 8 pounds.

Ok I don't think it, I know it.

And this not only troubles me, but makes me pissed off.

I am thinking I am not having enough marital sex. That must be the issue here. If we were still doing it like rabbits, I would look like a glowing 18 year old..

But hell, I just don't have time for that monkey business. I mean twice a week is all I got in me.

I could use it as a workout activity, but hell, I don't even do that much anymore.



I know I am lazy, but I still normally get off my ass and workout.

But lately I have found it very hard. I think I am in some sort of a depression. Or at least that is my excuse. Every fat girl needs an excuse as to why she is fat.

And thats mine.

I can recall being 17 years old, and being with my best friend and watching her weigh herself..she was like 150 or something. I remember thinking, if I ever weighed that much I would just die.

In my whole teen life and up until The Boy destroyed what waist line I had, I never weighed more then 120. I am a pretty tall gal, I am around 5 foot 8 or so..

I can remember thinking in my head that if I ever weighed even 130 I would not ever eat again..I would start my liquid diet. And that would consist of water, diet coke and vodka.

As I look at pics of myself I wonder what the fuck went wrong.

My size 8's turned into size 10's and now my size 10's have morphed into size 12's.

I don't like when things morph.

I always watch those commercials for like Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem..and it always says..results not typical.

That always makes me laugh, because someone can lose as little as 20 or 40 pounds and yet that result is just not typical..I can see a weight loss of say 120 pounds being not typical, but a mear 20?

That does not leave hope for us fat girls who just need to lose 20 pounds.

If it is not typical to lose 20 pounds, I am thinking its not practical for me to use it.

Why would I waste money on something that typically does not work? It does not make good business sense to me.


But I have come to a decision. I need to lose at the very least 20 pounds.

i have said before I would love to get down to my original weight of 7 pounds 13 ounces, but I am afraid I don't look good in sleeper pajama's and ruffled baby dresses anymore.

And why do people always say they are going to start losing weight on a Monday?

Is Monday some magical day? I thought people hated Monday. But it seems to be the day people think a life changing event can occur.

I don't by it.

I'm starting mine on Friday. Friday's are good days. its the start of the weekend. And who doesn't like a weekend?

I do hope I don't lose too much of the boobage I have occurred, because it does come in handy. It gets you free drinks, free meals, backstage passes, and jealously from all the flat chested freaks out there.

Don't be hatin u flatters...don't be hatin..

I'm just sayin that I am going to try my damnest to make it to a size 10 by Thanksgiving and a size negative 10 by Valentines Day.

but with a big rack still...

So starting next Friday, I will give you progress on how things are going.

Every Friday will be my weigh in day, and i will tell you how much I gained, I mean lost.

I'm not using Weight Watchers or anything of that sort, because well, results are not typical, and I don't got time to waste on that shit.

Anyone want to join me in the battle of the big butts?

I have until Friday to consume my box of fiddle faddle.

I like that shit. I have been known to consume a whole box in like 10 minutes. To my credit though, they don't pack a lot of fiddle in their faddle anymore. Only a couple handfuls..

So from this day on, I will workout 30 minutes a day, weight train 3 times a week, and not consume fiddle faddle in one sitting.

Curse the makers of the fiddle faddle.

It is depressing for me. And I don't like being depressed. It makes me fat.

Im going to get a pumkin pie blizzard from Dairy Queen now.

Good Day,