One thing about the fall I enjoy is a pumpkin. Now going back many a year I have always fancied a pumpkin. Hell, I even make homemade Pumpkin Pie.
Yes this bitch guts the pumpkin, gets the flesh off the sides and makes her own filling.
Once when I was about 12...(ok really I was about 16 or 17 but saying I was 12 makes me seem less retarded) I took a can of pumpkin pie filling my mom had, why she had it I don't know cause she never made pies. Anyway, I opened it and began to consume the can.
After about the second bite I nearly barfed on the floor. See at that time I had not realized I needed to make the proper preparations for said filling. I thought you could just eat it, right from the can.
How Naive I was..You actually have to MAKE it?...holy shit I had no bloody idea.
Lets see, you need evaporated milk, nutmeg,butter.....no no, this cant be.
That was false advertising for a teen as myself. I was caught off guard in the worse possible way.
A teenager who wants some pumpkin pie filling and gets a mouthful of just plain pumpkin makes a teen very unpleasant.
Who do you blame?
Its your own fault.
Did I ask my mother if it was ok to consume her can of pie filling?
I am sure if I would of, I would have been warned.
When I was a teen I always ate batter. Cookie batter ,cake, brownie it didn't matter.
Does this look like the face of a teen that would go postal if she did not get her mass quantities of batter?
See she looks pretty harmless...but damn she loved the batter.
So when she took a bite of the pumpkin shit, she went a tad postal...
Blaming everyone but herself.
That girl looks damn old enough to read a can for proper directions on how to consume mass quantities of pumpkin filling
Look, here she is again...
You would think that eating mass quantities of batter and filling would tend to make a teen girl a tad plump.
Nah, not when your having a bunch of ramped and random teenage sex and running track..
That's my fitness tip for the day.
So getting back to my original story.
I love pumpkins.
Every year we take the tots to the local pumpkin farm for a day of fun and whatever else u do at a pumpkin farm.
Look...have a gander.
30 cents a pound....for the pumpkins, not the tots.
There is Blondie panning for marbles, and hubs and Boo are back there too..
Oh, you don't know what panning for marbles is?
You poor poor fool.
You get a pan, and u dig in muddy, murky water for marbles.
On the wilderness trail Blondie found a tiny tree frog..and she touched it.
Oh gosh look, don't we just look like one big wholesome damn family.
The pumpkins I have planted in my garden, well, the fucking squirrels have been using them for snacks and good times.
I planted some JUST for making pies..the special pumpkin pie making ones.
And the damn wild life has helped themselves.
Nothing like looking out your window helplessly while squirrels, skunks, fox, and bears nibble on your pumpkin pies.
Gawd I hate animals.
Why don't they eat the tomatoes, we pick about 20 of those bitches a day, and I don't know what to do with them all.
Eat those assholes.
But no no no...the fuckers come and eat my pumpkins and laugh..I can see them giggling amongst themselves as they have brunch.
So this year when it comes time to make the pies, I'm going to have to go buy the cans of filling.
But at least I know not to just poor said can into my homemade pie shell.
I had to learn that shit the hard way.