Tuesday, September 16, 2008

video killed the radio star

Ever since I was a young lassie, living on the mean streets of small town, Michigan, I always fancied me as a radio lovin tree hugger. I would listen to it day in and day out. I would fall asleep listening to it, wake up listening to it. It was something I just had to have or I would go insane.



So when I tell you guys I did lots of activities to music, I ain't lying...



I could never find a station that suited my needs as I do have very exquisite taste I'm a music contasour if u will, the first couple songs would kick ass, but then it would all go down hill from there..I was always changing the station looking for a song that didn't make me want to vomit.



Because I don't like to vomit.



I would often find myself nearly getting in car wrecks whilst changing the station to something that could possibly play a decent song, maybe at least 3 good ones in a row rather then one..



Then about 5 years ago I decided to go satellite...I had heard all these raving kick ass stories about how flaming awesome satellite radio is.



And me, being a trend setter and all, I needed this..like yesterday.



Now at the time there were XM and Sirius...I could not make up my mind, so I got both..



yes yes, u may think its overboard, but truly its not, so shut up.



I wanted to find a station that suited my musical needs. No commercials, no annoying disc jockeys..I hate disc jockeys, I'm just gonna go out and say it..



On XM I listen to channel 49...its called Big Tracks...I like it OK...but it gets a bit repetitive..

nothing pisses me off more then the repeat of something...there are thousnads of kick ass rock and roll songs, but XM only thinks there is 5..and Van Halen sing 3 and The POlice sing the last two.



On Sirius I listen to channel 15, Classic Rewind.



Now I must say I like XM better because the station I love has no damn DJ..I already stated how I hate the DJ..



On my trip across MN, South Dakota, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico...I got to listen to this station non stop..



You might think that would be a good thing...but after the 3rd straight hour you hear the same shit over and over..



Now I know I have my preferences but in general I love all the rock of the 70's and 80's..as a general rule anyway.



I swear to God on my trip I heard Van HAlen about once an hour..along with U2, John mellencamp, The Police and Rush...



over and over and over and over and over....



u get the point..



I heard Bon Jovi maybe 5 times the whole journey...Def Leppard maybe twice..



It was starting to tick me off because I didn't even bring a single CD's with me.



After a while I would get so fuckin tired of Van Halen, mostly because I think they suck..that I would turn it to the all 80's channel..



The second I put it on there, I realized why I don't like it..



I start out with something by the B-52's...enough to make u puke, but not quite there..Then its something by the Boss, ohh, u gotta love the Boss...baby i was born to run..bitches..



Then the next song..BAM, like a bat outta hell..



Van Halen..



sonofabitch u have GOT to be kidding me. This is some hoax they are playing on me, and it ain't a funny one..



So I change it straight away.



Now the reason I have the XM and NOT the Sirius on this journey is because my car was made with an XM radio, so its already there...I don't need the little adapter..



And I tend to like the XM radio better..until this trip.



So I change the station and there is a Police song...Gawd how I fuckin hate The Police..and BAM, like a bat outta hell there is another Goddamn Van Halen song.



So I shut it off and I travel in silence for a while..



but the the silence makes me wanna start kicking puppies and planning out some sort of corporate takeover at Walmart..



it was just going nowhere real fast...



So, after about 10 minutes or so of quiet time, my mom turned the radio back on..



and BAM its Billy Idol..



WHOA, I love Billy Idol..



I thanked God for making it something that didn't suck..



Thank you God for making it something that didn't suck, I owe you big fuckin time..



Next song, go ahead and say it...yup, mother truckin Van Halen..



Oh how I hate Van Halen..



as if I did not establish that already, but for good measure I will keep telling u this..



After the first day of driving, we head out again, turn on the radio, good ole channel 49...Its about 4am, cause I like getting early starts..thats how I roll.



Everything starts out OK, because the song that was on when I turned the car on was def Leppard..I think to myself..



self, today might not be that bad...its gonna be a good day..



that all went out the window and under my tires as the next song was something by The Police. Oh how I loath the police...not a one of their songs makes any goll damn sense...go ahead, go listen to a Police song..I will wait...

*

*

*

*

You done?...see what I mean?



Ya...so anyway, that kinda set the tone for the day, at that point in time we kept track of how many times we heard Van Halen and The Police.



In my 16 hour drive...on day two, by the time I got to Amarillo Texas at 930 pm, where I stopped for the night...



this was the tally



Van Halen 14

The Police 10



that isn't counting the times I heard then before I started counting...cause we talked about doing it, before we actually did it..



Now normally when I have my radio on, while I am putzing around the house cleaning and bagging up dead bodies...You don't normally notice the repeat of songs..cause your not listening to the radio 16 hours straight, more like an hour or so...



This continued our journey home..we counted all the Van Halen and The Police songs we heard in our two day venture home..



Your gonna shit yourself..



Van Halen

49



The Police

41



See, this is some sort of a conspiracy...I know it is...



I get home and I vow to not ever listen to XM again...



So I turn on Sirius..



and the DJ's on there make me wanna do naughty things to innocent people..and not a good naughty either..



So now I am back to XM....listening to fucking Van Halen and The Police more then any human should ever have to..



I'm thinking of writing a strongly worded letter to the assholes who run XM CHannel 49..I am thankful there is no DJ to shitty it up even more, but I would almost rather have a whiny DJ who thinks they are Gods gift to funny and rock and roll DJing..



when in fact they are over weight douche bags who still live with momma.in the basement...



So the people who run XM, if your out there...please heed to my calls...



Put more in your rotation then sucky Van Halen and The Police...



I don't know if you have a monkey there spinning tunes for you, but they need to take their Van Halen CD's and gets a steppin...



I would do a much better job at running that channel...



I don't work holidays, weekends, evenings, early morning, or mid day..



but any days other then that..give me a call and we will get your station back on its feet again..

I am only here to help...cause im a rocker, not a fighter..

Thats how I roll..

38 comments:

just_tammy said...

holy crap...that's an awful lot of van halen and police...glad you lived to tell the tale

Southern Sage said...

xm is the same on every station
country
comedy
all of them
unless u listen to news it is very repetitive
hit 150
thats the best channel there.

Flip Flop Momma said...

tam,
no kiddin sister...

Sage,
whats 150?...is that the prn channel?..haha...I dont thin I have ever listen to 150...

Gette said...

That sucks, especially 'cause I think one of the selling points of XM is that you can go on a really long road trip and not lose your station. So why would they plan such tight rotation? That's just whack.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Gette,
I know..right....

I mean hey, there are no commercails...but u still have crappy DJ's on some stations and a very shitty rotation..mother truckers..

Jerry said...

If you like music that much, you have got to get an iPod. Even the 1GB Shuffle will hold 17 hours of music. All of which can be your choosing. No Van Halen and no Police! Woo hoo! If your car stereo has an input jack, that is the best for sound. The crappy cassette adapter sound like caca.

sweets said...

you poor thing hehe you should start a petition to get the station manager fired! some radio stations here in SA have competitions where you can win money if you can spot if a song plays twice in a day :)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jerry,
I do have one, it holds videos and can hold about 50,000 songs...but I do get tired of eve hearing that shit over and over..I like variety..Plus my Ipod is mostly f illed with workout tunes..

Sweets,
its a good idea, but this is satalite radio, there is no station manager, its all floating up in space..haha

Shannon said...

Cracking up right now! I hate talking on the radio too!

Scarlet said...

I loved Eddie Van Halen, not David Lee Roth so much, but the man on guitar had some serious talent.

No, I wouldn't want to hear 40+ of their songs in one day (not even 5) and I'm not a Sting or Police fan either.

Btw, where was your friend Prince in all this?? You didn't mention him once and he was so hot in the 80s.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Shannon,
I know, they should ban all talking on the radio..damn

Scarlet,
they dont play prince on the rock and roll station, but they do on the 80's station, and I cant stomach most of the shit they play on there ...but I own every Prince CD every amde, including bootlegs, and he is all over my Ipod cause his music is good to workout too..

but no, he is not on the station I listen too...sadly...

but trust me, I do get my fill;)

Southern Sage said...

Not with the kids in the car!!!!
I shoulda toleja
its comedy uncensored!
pretty funny mostly.
151 is comedy also.

Flip Flop Momma said...

sage,
ok, I have listen to some of the comedy things, I guess I didnt know what channel is was..Hubs alwyas has it on in the car when i get in..so I sometimes listen and sometimes turn it to 49...

i do love the comedy..u know me;)

Monogram Queen said...

How can you not love Van Halen - they rock! the Police... meh....

You crack me up with your extremes woman!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Patti,
I love Sammy Hagar..haha..

but NEVER have liked Van Halen..never..

they just never "did it" 4 me:)

Slyde said...

i love my XM. I listen to lucy and fred mostly, as well as 202 (the opie and anthony channel)

Sarah said...

Wow, I feel so behind the times with my iPod jack in my car. I'm gonna have to get me some XM radio.

I like a little Van Halen, and my husband likes The Police, but I can imagine hearing 80 songs by two bands you can't stand would just about do you in on a long drive...especially through Nebraska...soy beans anyone?! :-)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Slyde,
I have a love hate with it...I only listen to the music channels though, but I am thinkin of starin a boycott;)

Sarah,
well, your not missin much by NOT having it, thats all I can say 4 sure..haha

Haphazardkat said...

BOSS rocks.

I don't listen to a lot of music--it competes with the voices in my head...

Flip Flop Momma said...

Kat,
no doubt the Boss kicks some serious ass...the voices are telling u to Dance in the Dark, so dance baby, dance...

DFTF said...

I used to be a DJ.

Tell me you would have wanted to hear me. Tell me or I'll die. ;-)

JoeinVegas said...

Can't do it in the car, but at home use the computer and go to Pandora radio. Make your own play lists, and if you don't like the Police mark it and they will not play the Police. Hook your computer up to the stereo and play it through the house, no DJs there either.

Flip Flop Momma said...

dftf,
my hubs use to be a DJ too, so dont feel bad..but yes, I woulda loved to hear u, as long as u didnt play shitty stuff:)

Joe,
hmmmmm.....im gonna have to look that up...

Slick said...

Girl, I'm with you...

I canNOT stand Van Halen.

All their songs sound the freakin' same, no matter who's is the lead singer!

I cancelled my subscription to XM :(

Flip Flop Momma said...

Slick,
amen brotha, amen..

~Jobthingy~ said...

thanks for hitting me up. you are funny shit.

i think you should write them and just flat out tell them they should name the channel the van halen police station.. no?

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jobthingy,
trust me, it has crossed my mind;)

~Jobthingy~ said...

um i just actually read your profile page and i think i am in love. i love george micheal and i was starting to think i was the only one.

thank you for loving him with me

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jobthingy,
well hot damn, i think we are a perfect match..i think we are the only ones left..

~Jobthingy~ said...

i tell people all the time that he is not really gay. he is just acting that way until he meets me. then he is going to give it all up to be with me and my great rack.

my sweet love said that if i can actually convince george of this he will allow george to be my second man. then he laughs.

they all laugh.

*hmph*

Flip Flop Momma said...

OMG, I tell my hubs the same thing..that he is only gay cause he hasnt boned me yet..hehe

He is a beautiful man..

And he has the voice of an angel..

we need to start our own GM blogsite..haha

Foster Communications said...

Seriously? You don't like the Police? Why you be hating on the Police??

Flip Flop Momma said...

jess,
seriously....

Jamie Dawn said...

How can you hate Van Halen and The Police??!!
They are both pretty good, I think.
Toss in some Aerosmith and Alter Bridge and I'd be happy with that music lineup.
:-)
You totally crack me up, woman!!!

Bella said...

I totally agree - I don't understand how dj's and the station managers never realize there might be more than 2 songs by an artist.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jamie,
heck, im with u on Aerosmith, I love them...only heard them a handful of times..

and I never heard of the other band...i feel stupid now..

Bella,
amen sista..

CMB said...

Brutal. I have Sirius cause I am a Howard fan, but when the kids are in the car I listen to Hair Nation or the Alternative station. I do like classic rewind as well. Flight 26 on XM is great for me when I am at my sister in laws.

Flip Flop Momma said...

CMB,
yeah i like Hair Nation too..but sometimes they play too much Poison or Skid Row and such...and I cant stomach that either;)