Friday, September 12, 2008

magic Man



Today is my dogs birthday..this pure bred, AKC registered,pedigree that carries around pretend babies is four today...



Why do animals have to live so damn long? Why cant they be like a goldfish you win at the fair? Ya no the ones that die before you get them home?



Damn, I'm always struck with this kinda luck..



Happy Birthday u damn douche...


























And to celebrate I vow not to kick her today or call her stupid..


God Bless and Amen.






~


Did you know that pretty soon is a big day coming up for me?..huh, didja didja?






On October 24th something near and dear to me will happen...






Something I have been anticipating for months..






















































I cant help the way I feel. This is going to be a big event. I am thinking of having a HSM themed party that night. My buds and I will go to the show, then come home and sing HSM songs on my karaoke machine, get drunk, and well.....I wont go on from there..




Mostly I am looking forward to this...




May I burn in the fiery throws of hell..
























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damn, the boys in my high school did NOT look like that....





but isn't he beautiful? I know I'm damn near old enough to be his mother. In fact if I woulda conceived the first time I made whoppie, my kid would be this old...almost 20!


That's kinda scary..


But spank me and lock me up, cause I just wanna do naughty things to him...


Amen..

~


Now moving on from child porn...Lets talk about the issues..


Do any of you watch Nancy Grace?...I make no bones about it, I think she is great. My son calls her..hard core, like my mother.


He tells his buds that...they fear me.


Anyway, I am so sick of hearing about the woman who killed her baby...


Nancy, can we move on? Please..


The mother of this tot will be caught in due time...she will get hers...but lets stop talking about it.


I read a sign in a yard there when they were showcasing the house as they do nightly.


It said.


if my dog was missing for month I would report it


I got to thinking, I wouldn't report my dog missing, cause that would be a Godsend, but if my posters Zac Efron or my life size doll I kiss were to go missing, now theres a crime.


I mean seriously, who does she think she is fooling?


Gawd I wanna go there and tussle with her..


She is what I refer to as a bottomfeeder.


30 comments:

DFTF said...

Oh, I wanna come to your HSM/Karaoke/Drinking party!

Flip Flop Momma said...

well, come on down woman:)

Janell said...

Your party sounds like it'll be fun!

And I read the post below this one - I'm glad you got them to deliver Blondie to the doorstep. It really scared me to read about the Boy's encounter with a probable perv. He and his pal sure knew what to do, thank God. You're taking good care of your Tots.

Southern Sage said...

So you are saying there were no gay guys in your high school??

lol@ trailer trash
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Nancy and Greta are just waiting for another abduction.
That and a horrific hurricane!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Janell,
u can come if you want;)

yeah, I know how to take care of bidness;)

Sage,
I dont watch Greta, but Nancy only covers crimes, not hurricanes..thank gawd...

Humincat said...

I was thinking the same thing about Nancy, though I don't know if a 'tussle' would be good enough for this NONMother. Maybe a bullet to the vajayjay....ANYWAY, I never ever ever ever ever think of this show unless my nine year old wants to buy another notebook with their mugs on it, or when I come here. EW, and I'm WAYYY younger then you. JOKING! ROFLMAO!!! Just jokin', you know, the first sign of old age is loosing your sense of humor....
Ok....I think I'm done. Maybe 27 is my year of comedy...

Scarlet said...

Hell no, we had no pretty boys at our high school either. They all looked like Jon Bon Jovi (no joke). Long hair, wannabe rockers...and I did not complain. Who wants a pretty boy anyway??

Flip Flop Momma said...

Humincat,
WAIT...did u just call me old?

Oh hell no u didnt..

Scarlet,
the guys in my high school didnt look like that either...they all seemed kinda, well...dorky, dopey,ugly,scummy...the list goes on..I woulda settled for Bon Jovi...his wavey hair, prestine teeth and clear skin..

and me, I want a pretty boy...damnit woman.

Mrs. K said...

ok so now I don't know who is more horny over this 20 year old- the girls I coach for vball (who are I think - shit how old are you if you're in 7th or 8th grade?) or you...lol. You better videotape yourself and show us once you've memorized all their dance routines- i want to see it- i'll show you my sound of music.- or hell, HSM2.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Mrs K,
HSM2 is the movie I know best..I can do a routine to just about any song...dont be a hater..

Sarah said...

I don't know you that well, but I'd totally come to your drunken HSM party!

I don't mind Nancy Grace too much either, but she's overdoing it with this case *almost* as much as the missing marine last January.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Sarah,
I dont know u well either, but hell, your more then welcome, the more the merrier..

and i totally agree about Nancy, I think she needs an intervention..u and me..are u in?

Gette said...

You should have honked on the way through town!
I finally got rid of my trailer, but they left all the trash

~Deb said...

I won't get a dog because they don't live long enough. My heart would break over and over again.

just_tammy said...

Let me tell you the tale of the fair goldfish that resides at my sister's home...When her youngest was a preschooler, she won said fish. She is now well into her twenties with three kids of her own. The once teeny tiny fish will have to be dipped in cornmeal and fried when he finally crooks since he's waaay beyond flushing. This is all my darling niece's fault...she named him BRUTUS!

Yes, Nancy needs to move on. I thought she was in reruns for awhile there.

Your dog is indeed odd...way to go on getting the bus stop moved...no, the guys at my hs didn't not look like him...I'm happy for you...Please type in whatever else I'm supposed to say...thank you...

Flip Flop Momma said...

Gette,
I did, didnt u hear me?..damnit..

Deb,
not 4 me...I should just have a tank of brine shrimp...

Tam,
I dont even know what to say...

hahahahahaha...

do evere see armidillo's?..ya see, pale girl was born and bred in KS and said she never seen one..On my road trip, ONLY place I seen them..(dead) was in KS..

so im stumped..is she stupid, or blind?

just_tammy said...

Maybe Pale Girl is a bit of both cuz they do reside in parts of Kansas especially where you were travelling. Ask her if she knew scorpions live here as well. They do since one decided to move into my son's room. He was evicted immediately - the scorpion, not my son...

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tam,
damn...I hate those things..

So what part are u in?...she is from Witchita..I travled the whole state, but saw most of the critters closer to Oklahoma..

but man, I hate KS....

catscratch said...

You're a naughty, naughty girl.
Have a helluva weekend.

Is it just me or is Sage convinced every good looking man out there is gay?

just_tammy said...

We are still in the north east section which has lots of hills and trees and is several hours from PG's area. We used to be right outside of Kansas City. Kansas isn't my favorite and my best but it beats the heck out of Louisiana so I can't complain (too much).

Please party for the both of us since I don't get to. Life pretty much sucks right now. Oh well...

KrazyMom said...

You're damn right none of the guys we went to school with looked like that! Although I can't drool over Zac or my nine year old may beat me up for trying to take her man! Do you know that is one of the main reasons she was so excited about going to Vanessa's concert last month....because she wondered if Zac would be there cheering his woman on! LOL!

Lisa said...

If you're going to hell, I'm right there behind you. As long as he's older than my kids (and he is) it's all good. LOL

Shannon said...

Okay, okay, our fish from the fair last year are stilling swimming... what's up with that, lol. On the school dance thing, my son had one yesterday and had a blast. At his school sixth graders can't play sports, though, because it wouldn't be fair for the older kids. The school is too big. Our elementary school kids have to get on the bus in their driveway, on the side on the street as the steps, they aren't even allowed to cross the streets to get on the bus. Middle school kids can get on a half a mile from their driveways... but I don't know any who do that. Both kids ride for over an hour to get home. Country living sucks sometimes.

Shannon said...

That should say "still swimming", sorry. :)

Jamie Dawn said...

Your poor dog does not feel the love from you.
Poor, dumb dog. Happy 4th b-day to that poor thing.

You crack me up!
Zac is a cutie, but he's too close in age to my son for me to have any naughty feeling towards him like you do. To me, Zac is just a boy. That makes me old, I guess. I am just a chubby, old lady now.

That lady did kill her kid, or at least the kid died accidentally, then she got rid of her somehow.
Nancy Grace is one tough cookie!

Monogram Queen said...

You are so-o-o-o mean but so damn funny! Please tell me you are not really mean to that poor dog! LOL

Cliff said...

I have this feeling I should slam this puter shut before someone catches me.

Haphazardkat said...

Dayum girl! Yer goin all Cougar on that young piece of man flesh! Too young for me...not that he isn't tasty lookin' purrrr purrr purrrr.
My tastes go more towards Collin Farrel --Go here--try not to lick the screen ;)

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://wallpapers4free.info/pictures/men/colin_farrell/colin_farrell_008.jpg&imgrefurl=http://wallpapers4free.info/men-colin_farrell_008.html&h=768&w=1024&sz=149&hl=en&start=17&sig2=pObkHiiqm_NLg16HPi_cYQ&um=1&usg=__v3ep-TjZlVJtzI7otmO1VTDhJ84=&tbnid=8MeUcbj_z1kSEM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=150&ei=bynNSKDUJ6qopwSFjaHXBQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcolin%2Bfarrell%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26rlz%3D1T4GGIH_enUS285US285%26sa%3DN

dayummm...thats a long ass link--but worth the clickage ;)

Rachel said...

Oh your little dog is cute! I think this is hug your dog day!

The party sounds like fun! I'm sure you'll have a blast!

~Jobthingy~ said...

nancy grace dwells on everything for too long. i cant watch her for that. she is like a bad soap. you miss her for a week and she is still talking about the same shit