Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Your so vain

Have you ever come to a point in your life where you have reached your boiling point?



Well I think I am about to slam into my boiling point right at any God given moment.



I can only take so much.



Well I can take, I just choose not to..



I mean a heart attack is inevitable here for me soon. I just know it.



These are some things I am tired of...in no particular order.



*my kids.

ok, well not TIRED of them persay..but the fighting, the nagging...

ok, I'm tired of them.



I am tired of Boo constantly thinking she needs a f*ucking dress on..



I am tired of Blondie constantly giving me shit about cleaning her room and putting her clean underwear on over her dirty ones..



I get her clothes out every morning, along with underwear of course....and yet she chooses to take the time and effort in putting them on OVER her dirty ones..why?



I am tired of the boy just plain not listening...



pick up your shit...



NO..



I said NOW or I'm gonna kill ya.



alrighty then.



* I am tired of my cat pissing on my shit.



I have this cat, we will call her....soon to be dead pussy..



she pisses on my shit right in front of my God loving eyes.



if anyone knows me or has been to my house, you know I am a very very clean sort of bitch. I steam clean my carpets like twice a month, I mop everyday, You could eat from my toilets..well if you were retarded I guess, I mean my 3,000 square foot abode is normally shiny. You can see it for miles. I am a freak about dirty houses. Dirty houses scare me.



so when my cat piddles on my floor, or on a pile of shit I just folded, it tends to anger me slightly.



*My dog had a case of the GI trots last night, and decided my freshly cleaned BEREBR flooring made the perfect shit stop, I mean pit stop.



So it took my ALL day to scrub it out...Just knowing its there, makes me feel growdy.



So I need to rent another super duper steam cleaner..so I can sleep at night.



*I am tired of winter..In Michigan it never got cold. I mean at the time I thought it was cold..I mean to any normal person 20 degrees is chilly. Or hell even 10 degrees.



but here in Gods Tundra, when it hits 10 or 20 we think Spring must be around the cornor.



When u spend more months in sub zero then u do in the above sub zero, it makes a person cranky and slightly constipated.



*I am tired of owing uncle sam money at tax time. Up until a few years we use to get a couple thousand back...



yeah, those were the days bitches..



6,000 sitting in the bank just waiting for a Prince or Def Leppard concert to creep around the cornor..



Now a days, that's about what we owe...federal and state..



To you, the Federal Govt..



take my money, I clearly don't need it....Take it, do what u will...put it in a special folder to give to the immigrant welfare users...they may need it...go ahead and give it to them..hell pay for them to take an English class while your there.



To the State of Minnesota



take my money and give yourself an enema you clearly need some colon cleansing.



*I am tired of every time the phone rings, Boo thinks its a bank calling..



I had called the bank about our house in Michigan, and she called me several times to ask me stuff...



So now, no matter who is here, if the phone rings she yells..



MOM, the bank is calling AGAIN.



and I have not talked to the lady at the bank in months..but yet, its always the bank calling.



*I am tired of the misfits at karaoke. I purposely found a new place to do it, because the places in this town only seem to harbor scums and drunks..



I am not one who likes to be seen mingling in the same establishment of scums and drunks, yet I was doing it..But seeing I am not from here, I am not sure who the scums are..but it doesn't take long to realize they all hang out at the VFW.



but now its misfits...



I don't fit in anywhere.

*I am tired of my dishwasher not cleaning my dishes.

nothing like a nice film o cream corn covering your shit...

two weeks ago hubs and I took it apart and cleaned it out, and there musta been crap in there from the turn o the century.

yet, it still works 4 crap.

* I am tired o* not having a dryer. Its been two months, and my electric bill is still over 300 bucks a month.

I could get a new dryer with my income tax money, but..oh yes, they are screwing me in the ass with no lube, and it doesn't feel good.

not that if they were using some KY jelly that it would be any better, cause it wouldnt..or so im thinking anyway.

i am so tired of my pants and towels being so stiff they can stand on their own.

I guess we are going to break down and buy a new one. Not sure when, but we are. Even hubs is tired of his underwear scratching his ass.

* I am having a shit of a time finding a job. I am either way over qaulified or they are threaten by pay from my other jobs..

just pay me 10 bucks an hour, I can take a hit people, come on...I dont expect or u to pay any more then that in this town for Gods sake..I am ok with that...please..really..It gets me out of here, if I am working there..

DONT U GET IT?..DAMN IT.




SO see, these are the dilemmas I am facing in today's world.



If u need an invite to my private blog, let me know..I still need all the advice I can get.



Well, I am gonna go and day dream about the dirty things that Prince and I can do after he recovers from his hip replacement.



36 comments:

lo said...

Course i want an invite to your private blog already!!!
laurel at sympatico.ca

oh and i am so done...those cinammon melt things are to die-had my 2nd one today. of course i am eating them in hiding and not telling anyone except you but eventually my hips will not lie!
LO

Flip Flop Momma said...

LO,
I will send u an invite right away..

those cinomelts are gonna be the death o us.

Groovy Mom said...

It's been years since I've been in the VFW in my town. I'm thinking they must be the same everywhere. Drunk misfits. Although, one time a bunch of fat old men stripped Chippendale style for charity there. You don't know fun until you've stuffed a dollar bill in the G-string of an 80 year old wrinkled prune-dude.

Southern Sage said...

i checked my mail before cutting my wrists cause i wasnt invited!

Ok
FFM, I know u could give a shit less about politics ut 2 of the 3 remaining have promised to raise your taxes!!!!!!!!!!
WTF??????
They purely ass fuck me too I mean foot long donkey dinga ling!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Groovy,
VfW are just icky.

SS,
I sent u one....I did...i will resend it if u did not get it.

CMB said...

So I take it today was your breaking point? I don't blame you with all that shit going on. I know you stopped drinking, but I am thinking a tanning session and a margarita are what you need. Take a deep breath and remember that you are not alone. Your blog supports are here for you.
By the way I tagged you:
www.jerseyscrapper.blogspot.com

just_tammy said...

Sounds like you've had a crap day. Sorry to hear about everything going wrong. I can't believe you still don't have a dryer. Beyond sucks...

Dang, now I want cinomelts!

Went to Target since I ended up taking Boo to dance to make up for having to go to Wal-Mart. The guy that rang up my grand total was beyond nice and even gave me a craft item to put in my purse cause he was afraid it would get lost in the bag. I was shocked.

Afraid to do our taxes still. It's not going to be pretty.

I didn't get an e-mail with the new blog. Just the one explaining and saying you were working on it. Soooo....

Flip Flop Momma said...

i sent u an invite..I will resend it....

Flip Flop Momma said...

CMB,
im thinking I may pick up drinking again, new years is a distant memorey...so the feeling of the hangover is a distant memorey;)

Katie said...

Oh invite please! I think you have my e-mail?

I feel your pain on the taxes. It's not ok.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Katie,
taxes suck..

i sent ya one.

1 plus twins said...

omg you poor thing, i know exactly how your feeling with your kids. i am at the same place. your kids and mine are the same age do you think it is a phase thing? i sure hope so cuz if not my kids won't make it to the next age. lol hang in there!!

Cheeky said...

oH I want to be invited - you say the things I wanna say and yeah I want to party with you and his royal purpleness - yes I do.....

SWIZZLE STICK said...

FFM- yes, we have all had days like yours... Hope things look up soon and that your snow melts!

Def Leppard is in town on 4/27 and I can't get anyone to go...wimps.

Would love entry into your private blogosphere!

tamalepiegirl at aol dot com.

Tom said...

Life is good whenever there's no IV in your arm.
It's very wierd how we handle the big stuff, but the day to day stuff is what sets us off..
tcwkef_at_yahoo~!!!!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

1pt,
well, u need to move closer so our kids can misbehave 2gether;)

it better be a phase or Blondie might end up at an adoption agency.

Cheeky,
ok, ur in.

St,
I can not even believe no one will go w/u?..what r all ur pals losers?..hahahaha..JK

tom,
now what do u have against IV's..hehe

im sending u an invite..I gonna do more right now.

1 plus twins said...

hey i have taken one of mine sat him by me on the computer and showed him military schools and then a map to show him how far away they were!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

haha, good thinking..

aatank said...

Sorry I haven't been around much, but I try to keep up...Just don't have time to right my own blog.

If you want my knowledge on your personal life send me the e-mail.

Sorry to hear about you Step-mothers grandma passing away.

I'll try to blog soon to catch you up on my boring life.

Anonymous said...

I know your pain with the IRS also..we owe too. We also used to get the big money back but now do not because we decided to get married and our combined income is too much so we have to pay in. I would like an invite if you do not mind, connielawver@yahoo.com. I hope things get better for you. Pretty sure I will be leaving good old Wally World soon. I am tired of the shit and the tards that work there!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tanker,
I have wondered where u ran off to, haent seen a around..

I will email u an invite to the blog, so u can read it and give me input, since your a former teacher..

Connie
owing the govt sucks ass..
most of out trouble is not only the hubbys income, but the fact we own a house in michigan still...damn govt tries screwing however they can.

Dame Wonder said...

Nice to see that I'm not the only mother who doesn't mind bitching about her kids. I don't care how cute they are and how much joy they can bring, they are a lot of fuckin trouble!

And just where the hell is my invite?!

Flip Flop Momma said...

I sent ya one...

and I think if your a mom and u can not bitch about your kids, then u have issues:)

can I get an amen!

Neurotic1 said...

See why beer has become a staple in my life! Oh wait, I didn't have this stress when I was in high school. What am I talkin' about!

Keep your chin up- it may warm up by August!

JoeInVegas said...

You know, cat fur makes for really nice coat collars, especially when it's cold. Or G-strings. Whichever way you want to go.

Flip Flop Momma said...

N1,
well high school was very stress*ul..right?..hahaha

Joe,
oh your in the shit house now..

I sent ya an invite Joe..even though I wanna be-head u right now.

Patti said...

I see you have a LOT going on honey! I hope it gets better too. One of the things I like best about you is you are "real". You bitch about your kids instead of the "oh they are perfect angels" bullshit that most of what I call the "janes" try to pull. My kid is a real pain the ASS sometimes. That's life. A Dryer in Minnesota should be a deal breaker. I can remember my Mom making us hang out clothes when we lived in PA and they would freeze stiff. Good times.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Patti,
oh my kids r perfect..

perfect little shits:)

thanks;)

and oh, that Prince perfume is the best..I got a bunch of free ones at his concert last summer..

CatScratch Diva said...

Sweet mother of Jesus, girl. You and me need to share a bottle of wine on a beach somewhere.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Diva,
im all over that shit...u make it Vodka and i will bring the little umbrella's.

Shannon said...

Sorry you had a crappy day! Hopefully it will warm up there soon. IRS...taxes....suck!!!!

Humincat said...

HOOK ME UP!! (That was my lame attempt at getting an invite to your VIP blog and maybe a Vodka and Redbull, with an umbrella of course. It has to be Vodka or Rum because as the young drunk girl on New Years told my half drunk husband "Tequila makes my clothes come off")

Jamie Dawn said...

Clearly, you are having a bad day... week... uh month, or so.
Life is crappy sometimes, ain't it?
I'm sending you an Arkansas smile right now. It should help brighten things up a bit. Having pets piddle and poo on my floors would be grounds for taking them to the pound. I feel your pain.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Shannon,
I only hope it warms up soon, cause im getting crabby.

Huimncat,
ok, i will send ya an invite later..i* u dont get one, let me know, cause some arent getting them 4 some reason.

Jamie,
I need to come sit on your porch with some tea, swing on a porch swing and have u share some tru**els with me..

Groovy Mom said...

WHAT?! You don't like tequila? Oh woman, how are we gonna drink together when I get to Minnesota?

Flip Flop Momma said...

Groovy,
well u and pale girl can drink Tequila sunrises, I will stick to a good ole style screwdriver;)


when r u coming again?..it wasnt when I am gone is it